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posted January 04, 2009 09:52 AM         

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Yes - see you get that - it took you four years to break. That's extraordinary. I don't think ours should have lasted 5 minute but it lasted a couple of years. It wasn't tumultuous, just, damaging - the more we were together, the more damaging it was. I didn't follow my instincts. And that was the worst of it. Not listening to what every part of me was telling me about this person and this involvement. The thing with those relationships is that they drill in long-lasting lessons. You see the same thing coming your way and run a mile because you know where it has the potential to go. I think that's why people become confused - when they have that type of connection with someone - they perceive it as soulmate love and think it's forever.

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posted January 04, 2009 09:55 AM           

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Well I am glad that you found Mr PeaceAngel in the end, & I know that the one I'm waiting for will come at the right time.

Funny I just remembered that GI Joe is going through a similar process right now re his ex wife.....Sux for him but it does make the soul grow & prepare for the next relationship.

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posted January 04, 2009 09:56 AM         

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That's the thing about your children. The love for them is - just so far out from anything else. I say that in Astro forum sometimes when people are going on about twinflames and soulmates, etc. I just think, find yourself an Earth mate and find happiness. Should a twinflame or soulmate come your way - wonderful. But live a bit. And if you think that the love of a man is the be all of love - huh - wait to you have children! Now, that's love! It's a different love, but there's no other love like it. It tore my heart out reading about the death of Jett Travolta. I just feel for that family so much. That really is the worst thing. As a parent you feel so much more empathy - because you place yourself in their shoes in your imagination and even then I don't think, can come close to how it would feel. Your children are everything.

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posted January 04, 2009 09:59 AM           

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Totally PA I was so guilty of feeling that way about my relationship with Mr ex. The first year was great & after that came the eight crap years (of which stubborn me refused to learn what was love & what was abuse) oh I could just smack myself sometimes you know?

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posted January 04, 2009 09:59 AM         

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Definitely - the right person at the right time. The beauty of age - where you accept yourself even more - is that you can stand there and be who you are and wait for the right person rather than changing who you are to try and win over a particular person.

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posted January 04, 2009 10:01 AM         

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Oh, I do know. Interesting about the love/abuse comment - so so true. It is. But when you are really young - you do think that love is sacrificial - that you have to be like that. Ah, so so wrong! You lose yourself. And that's the worst - no matter how much you hate your partner in the end, you hate yourself even more.

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posted January 04, 2009 10:04 AM         

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There's a lot of wisdom in what you've said. Wisdom learnt through hard-won lessons. Unfortunately, it's a great way to learn.

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posted January 04, 2009 10:04 AM           

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Yes it is so very very sad....to lose your child is the hardest thing a human being can suffer, I watched my sister in law lose her baby to SIDS ( her second to die of cot death)

I have always had a soft spot for John Travolta & he has suffered quite a bit in his life & to have this happen now is tragic, I will keep him in my prayers.

What else can you do at times like these?

I agree about your comment re childre & love, how it is different...having them teaches us selflessness & compassion & a whole range of other emotions.

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posted January 04, 2009 10:09 AM         

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Very very sad about your SIL, and twice. I can't imagine that - well, in my own truth as horrid as it may sound to anyone else, I really don't want to even imagine that. I can't imagine the extent of the pain. I don't want to. My heart just goes out. And that's all you can do.

I know my children are my greatest teachers. Funny how they reflect our best and worst back to us - our mannerisms, etc. My 8yo - when he speaks - at times he's a mini-me version of me. And I shake my head and think, do I actually say that! We even say the same things at the same time. He's my little Aqua Boy. He has Sun & Moon in Aqua. But he's mummy's little boy - Cancer Ascendant.

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posted January 04, 2009 10:13 AM         

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Well, spunky, thank God for you tonight. Some disillusioning threads in other forums really had me wondering what is going on in our world and then you are here and - everything is right. As much as we need differing views so we can challenge and grow, we also need like minded people to show us that we're okay - and not losing our minds - or are the odd ones out when we think we shouldn't be. You have a great deal of honesty and wisdom - you're genuine and I really appreciate that, and you.

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posted January 04, 2009 10:15 AM         

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It's 2:15, suppose it's time for bed. Back to usual routine in the morning. Holidays aren't over - but they are in a way.

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posted January 04, 2009 10:16 AM           

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How very true...definitely mini me's lol.

My son just breaks my heart into a million little pieces with the beautiful things he says to me sometimes. It sounds like your boy has that same special connection with you as mine does with me....it's such a beautiful thing....I guess those moments are there to help us through the "monster" periods. lol

As for losing your children....I agree it's best not to think about it as it will only make you cry. Watching someone go through it is hard enough because you can't do anything to help them or take their pain away. (ok now have to think happy thoughts....memories are bringing back the tears)

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posted January 04, 2009 10:19 AM           

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While Mr Grant doesnt appeal to my physically he does turn on my brain....such a wicked naughty boy!

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posted January 04, 2009 10:21 AM         

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Yes - love what you said about heart and a million pieces. I remember reading an interview with Kiefer Sutherland and he said that he and his daughter were coming out of some burger joint and that she said something to him that just wrecked him - he was standing there in public, outside this place, crying from being touched by her words. I love that.

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posted January 04, 2009 10:23 AM           

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quote:

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you're genuine and I really appreciate that, and you.

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Thank you PA. But all I am doing is reflecting back at you

Good night cherub

Talk again soon

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posted January 04, 2009 10:23 AM         

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Yes, I must admit - I do like the typical Hugh Grant movie character. And, he's a not bad kisser, either, in the movies. He'd be witty, and funny. Not sure he's my type though, maybe a bit too charming, as in a sly kind of way. Love him in the Bridget Jones movies and also in Love, Actually in particular. Oh, and Two Weeks Notice. Love that movie. Actually, love all of those movies.

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posted January 04, 2009 10:24 AM         

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Good night.

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posted January 04, 2009 10:27 AM           

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Oh I agree but have you seen him in music & lyrics with drew barrymore? he is very funny in this one too, get it if you havent seen it, I know you will love it.

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posted January 04, 2009 01:29 PM         

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Have you seen Hugh Grant in About a Boy? LOVE that movie. Just grand. Rachel Weiss is in there- i adore her as well

PA,

The comments you made about your children made my heart smile. What a terrific parent you must be. Your children are very lucky

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posted January 04, 2009 01:30 PM         

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Koi,

Where the f*&k are you, you silly b1tch!?!?!?!???? How dare you not be here to entertain me!

you, wh0re.

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posted January 04, 2009 03:29 PM         

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At the time of reading, there are 69 posts on the Bean thread.

Mars in Cancer, oh yeah, it all fits.

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posted January 04, 2009 05:14 PM         

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Did someone mention toasted marshmallows???

Thanks PA and meta for your colourful insults - I feel so much better now!!

Get my Pandora Box out of your mind, PA!!!! It doesn't open for anyone!!!!!

Actually, our Boxes are almost conjunct!!! Double Trouble!!!! And sextile spunknini's...hmmm... that could be interpreted as a relationship full of influence under an energy of enjoyment and great intellectual learning!

Meta - check your Box out, my dear!!! How much trouble is there inside of it??

spunknini - did you say your Box was conjunct SN? You have been a bad, bad girl then, haven't you

Asteroid America - mine is conjunct Union, trine Karma, sextile Mercury meaning I will communicate to an American and end up marrying them. Well, their name had better end in Cruise and their first name start with T..!!

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posted January 04, 2009 05:31 PM           

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Good morning all!

As I sit here enjoying my first coffee of the day I find that the usual suspects have returned...Good!

Now I am off to investigate this asteroid America. I forgot to mention that I got a report on myself & GI Joe not long ago that had mentioned some past life notes on the end stating that he had links to Australia & I had links to east coast USA....mmmmm interesting

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posted January 04, 2009 05:42 PM         

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spunknini - maybe you were a Native American in a past life! I wonder what your name may have been.... Warrior Lover, Spunky Squaw, Visitor of Cubicles....hmmmm

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posted January 04, 2009 05:44 PM         

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Hey bluemoon! How are you?

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