posted September 21, 2006 08:51 AM         

You do not know me either it seems.
Only a small part of who I am is here at LL.

You may not like or approve of me, but I am me. Not you. I did my very best to understand you.

Good luck in your life. I am done trying to help you.
If that appears like pushing you away...then so be it.
I do not have the free time or energy to try where my care and advice is unwanted.
I am only one person and YOU are not the only one out there I care about and tried/try to help.

Seems you have forgotten how many times I defended you and tried to cheer you up.

I did the Lexigram things becauise I thought they could help and you seemed interested in Lexigrams too. My Lexigram passion was not meant as yelling. Just making firm points as succinctly as possible as to how I feel about Lexigrams.
Sorry it offended you. That was not my intentiion at all.

Thank you for the wake up call.
I shall not be so quick to jump in with both feet to try to help as I did with you.
I use to be a doormat. Perhaps I have swung too far the other direction. But I had to do that or I would be dead by now. You do not know how beaten down I was before.

posted September 21, 2006 11:28 AM         

D- This is unfair to Fayte, don't you think? I believe she was being helpful.

silverstone

------------------
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

posted September 21, 2006 12:55 PM         

I think you are a terrific, loving and caring human being and I admire you greatly for that and all you are.

It's the loving and caring enough to help that should be noted.

Better to care enough to attempt to help in what may be seen as an imperfect way than not to care at all.

posted September 21, 2006 01:34 PM         

The original topic stated a diagnosis of bi-polar. While I liked the original rant, was all over the place, but poetic and creative as well, you have to consider what may have been going on in her mind at the time, and also at the time of the responses. I never thought it was a suicide note, just a rant!

In my profession I see that bi-polar is NEVER easy to live with, I have a bi-polar friend as well-------never easy to live with.

FAYTE:

You have handled yourself with poise and grace---as those who post on a public forum should!

posted September 21, 2006 02:00 PM         

Fayte was trying to help you. Sometimes when we share our problems or reach out for help, we don't always get *exactly* what we're looking for. Sometimes we don't get even a morsel of what it is we're looking for. Especially on an internet forum, where others do not know us well enough to gauge what would be truly helpful.

No one can ever really understand us, it's true. And that reality can be very depressing at times. BUT...we are lucky to have others who care enough to *try* to understand.

To go on and on, dissecting and criticizing Fayte's response and tearing it down...when she was only responding out of KINDNESS and a genuine desire to help....that's just bad form if you ask me.

I am truly sorry that you've suffered so much in your youth and also currently.

I hope in the future you can appreciate kind gestures.

posted September 22, 2006 05:26 AM         

But we cannot "rescue" others....even as mothers, at some point we have to let go and let God, as the saying goes.

Nobody with a feeling heart would condemn anyone for trying to help another in trouble....but sometimes by "trying to hard" and being forceful in our approach, we push the other way...

I think this is what D for D is trying to say. As I can see both sides to this story, I think it only fair that I speak out for both parties....

Good luck to both of you....

posted September 22, 2006 09:37 AM         

I know you must understand this as you seemed to be very appreciative of those who came onto your mother's funeral thread and supported you after after DFD questioned and upset you as she did. You responded to those friends with a lot of thanks for supporting you. "Supporting" was the word you used in your thank you responses.

In every instance there is two sides to the story. I am mindful of that and I think we all are. However, I feel that if DFD felt this way about Fayte's attempts at helping her through this time in her life she should have emailed Fayte about it privately rather than place it on a public forum.

posted September 22, 2006 09:58 AM         

Yes DFD that would have been proper. If you had something to say PRIVATELY I would have given you that opportunity.

I am just me. Trying to help the best I know how.
I could just ignore and not care.
Just chit chat about general things and happy stuff and all.

That would make my life alot easier.

I do not have to try helping or listen.
I have a life too and because I try to devote time to listening/helping...I am wrong and bad and deserve insulted over and over?
I am just trying. Sorry I do not have a degree or perfect wisdom.

posted September 22, 2006 10:24 AM         

I've also read a couple of D for Defiant's posts before this one.

Anyway, as I was reading the begining of this thread quotes and all, I didn't find anything wrong with what you said or asked. It was clear to me you were trying to help her and it's clear she doesn't want your help.

It's sad you had to be raked over the coals just because you reached out to another human being but you did the right thing, Fayte.m

Take Care.

posted September 22, 2006 10:59 AM         

DFD.
I did not intend to add more fuel to all this and while I could reply line by line to all your accusations,
I see no point in doing so. You and at least one other will see things as you wish to see them concerning me.

So as briefly as I can be....

Yes I was indeed sarcastic!
quote by me:

"What a surprise. How nice of you."

Your reaction caught me by utter surprise!

Quote from DFD:

quote:

---

"And this person expected appreciation and gratitude from the other simply because, according to her- she TRIED to help. And now she didn't receive what was perceived as she deserved, she became angry because she thought she deserved credit for trying to help. Helping others, while not using more appropriate approaches, and still wanted credit. This is a dodgy attitude."

---

>>>>I expected nothing in return DFD. Including what you are doing to me now.<<<<<

Quote from DFD:

quote:

---

"she became angry"

---

>>>>Angry?

No.

Surprised? Shocked? Saddened?

Yes.

But anger?

No.

When I asked if you were an adult I honestly did not know your age for sure. If you were a minor I would not have replied the same way.

That was not being sarcastic, it was determining your age.......I needed to know if you were a very intelligent teenager or a highly educated adult.

Not sarcasm.

posted September 22, 2006 11:00 AM         

quote:

---

"and was enraged because she didn't get the credit she wanted because she "tried to help someone", is anything but worth my respect."

---

>>>>>Again....I was not expecting or requiring anything back.

And definitely Not angry or enraged.
If I were either, I assure you...there would be no doubt.

I would tell you if I was either!

I am rather bewildered and surprised and wondering why you suddenly out of the blue have decided to consider me your enemy.

How odd.

And after all your posts about me...
I felt I should say something.
So yes I am speaking to you again. You are coming in with all guns blazing at me.
If someone did that to you how would you feel?
Would you stay meekly silent?
Few would.

Thanks again folks!
We cannot please everyone.
We can each only do our best.

posted September 22, 2006 11:09 AM         

Yet, you are picking apart her posts in critical analyzation, it seems while for the most part overlooking and not trying to understand why she was so passionately moved to respond to you as she did. (for instance that she might have felt an affinity with you and a deep nerve in her might have been triggered for having a similiar relationship with her own mother)...And dismissing the care that moved her in the first place.

If you're going to show a fair presentation, why not show her words of care and encouragment as well? Which were many, all over LL.
Those were left out here and so not fair to Fayte.
You've made some judgements of her here as well...conclusions of her entire character, which go much deeper than just how she expresses herself.

As for what Sue wrote about 'forceful advice that wasn't right for me' and so relating to you...
well, when you know something isn't right for you, then that's all that matters.
Take it or not...then go on your way as you want to. Fayte has given me some advice I've greatly appreciated and has helped, and also other advice that I knew pretty immediate didn't correspond with my own Truth. Regardless of whether it was 'harshly' direct or more gentle (there's been both),
I kept in mind that it was because she cared, otherwise she'd just be indifferent.
In the end, I decide for myself...and I've always sensed that Fayte respected that.

When you're not taking into consideration also the bigger picture of care in the intent, and you reject someone so superficially as their 'approach',
without appreciating that they cared at all,
then you are rejecting an entire heartfelt Being,
for only a fragment of what they have shown you.

Which it seems is what is going on here, DFD.
And that's entirely up to you.
It's your freedom to choose who you associate with or not.

No one is taking sides, but of course those of us who appreciate Fayte as an entire Soul are going to witness such public accusations and respond. Try to manipulate it into something other than it is--that we're painting you as the ungrateful insane one and Fayte the respected one...but regardless, it's just a simple and natural response to what appears as injustness and nothing so elaborately contrived.

posted September 22, 2006 11:17 AM         

Think I'm done here,
feeding into your self-indulgence.

posted September 22, 2006 11:17 AM         

Live and let live.

Fayte- I just now saw your request for an email. Funny thing is, I emailed you about 6 hours ago.

posted September 22, 2006 11:19 AM         

You have no right to tell Fayte she is paranoid.

Truthfully, I don't see what Fayte did to deserve this.

With all respect, may I ask what it is you are trying to achive by insulting Fayte?

quote:

---

- She's not only narcissistic, grandiose, even histrionic and paranoid. And I'm letting her wasting my time.

---

quote:

---

- I thought she had claimed that she was not going to speak to me again?

---

Is this really the way you treat people who help you? I understand we are on a forum and it is much different than on a one-on-one, face-to-face discussion. Please understand what I am trying to tell you. Seriously, you need to really think about what you are doing

Silverstone

------------------
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.