posted October 19, 2008 09:46 AM            

This is the only place I feel comfortable posting the truth-- the baby came out and I got to hold it. It was a 10 week fetus (we had thought we were a healthy 13 weeks, but we didn't know the baby had died.)

I know it may sound kind of weird, but I found quite a bit of comfort in having that moment with the "baby." It was about the size of my pinky (I say "it" bc I couldn't determine the baby's gender.)and it looked just like it was supposed to.

It was totally surreal, but miraculous in it's own bittersweet way. I know these things happen for good reasons and I'm trying to look for the sunshine through the clouds. We'll be okay, but this is still quite fresh for us and will take a little time.

I came to LL this morning looking for some distraction and I saw that Pidaua also lost a baby this week. My thoughts go out to her and Bear.

posted October 19, 2008 05:32 PM            

Thoughts and words help so much. Thank you.

posted October 27, 2008 09:08 PM              

Lots of Love
lots of Hugs
& Healing

posted November 14, 2008 12:59 AM            

Thank you all for your thoughts. It was a weird and painful time, but we've recovered and moved forward with fresh perspectives. I'm thankful for this.

We've (unofficially) named the baby "Boo" for the way it appeared then disappeared without our knowing, during the magical month of October. (I was pregnant for a while before we knew.) Baby Boo is buried here at home... some people think it's weird, but it felt right to us. We kind of like having Boo close by.

posted January 27, 2009 04:13 PM            

UPDATE!! We're homeschooling!! I'm staying home with the kids these days and not working outside the home. However, my house is more trashed than usual. I guess that means there's a lot of learning going on.

In other news... I've been sponging up all the communication I can get lately. And there's been lots of it! New friends, active social life, old friendships solidified and I cannot get enough. This is a bit out of the ordinary for me as I'm usually drained from too much "people" time. Kids still drain me pretty quickly, although I love the trip.

Reach out and touch someone... I guess that could be my life-theme right now. If you're up for an intellectual groping of sorts, stop by!

posted January 29, 2009 11:01 AM            

I hardly believe you're in need of a groping-- I've seen your pics. But even smoldering Scorps get lonely sometimes, I suppose.

However, I guess we were talking about an intellectual groping, a whole different sort of thing.

I've never been involved with a Scorpio, with the exception of this one guy who kind of followed me around for several years. It was intriguing, but not in the way he was going for. My husband has a Scorp ascendant, so that kind of counts. However, he's a Virgo, so I'm guessing that goes a long way toward toning down some of the intensity.

I'm in love with intensity.

I've always been secretly fascinated by Scorpio men, and you're in good company here with some other lovely Scorpios of the masculine kind.

posted January 29, 2009 06:22 PM            

And here is my oddball fact:When I get excited I double my sentences. For example-
"No, way. No way" "You can't mean it. You can't mean it." And so on and so on... It's like I get stuck on replay.

Here, I'll give you 2 for the price of 1. Not only can I cross my eyes (as most people can) but I can keep one eye straight on you and cross the other completely!! Freaks people out!

posted January 30, 2009 02:56 AM            

quote:

---

I hardly believe you're in need of a groping-- I've seen your pics.

---

Future, be careful, I've seen your photos too and you're completely my type, plus you have certain astrological placements that I either have a tendency to seek out or find to recur with the women in my life... I'm not very good at taking a compliment for what it is, and I might just have to drive myself to Ohio and steal you from your Virgo husband.

But back in reality, no I don't write at all. I write instrumental music, but not lyrics. I guess it's my heavy Libran 3rd house, but I've had a few people on this forum point out my use of words. It's always a strange struggle to recognize qualities that I've never imagined myself to have, but thank you so much. I need to go back to school and find a real career, and perhaps one day I'll know enough about something, undoubtedly have an opinion on it, then maybe write enough about it to organize into a book.

I'm glad you love Scorpio intensity because half the time these boiling currents make me feel like jumping out of my skin, and it's calming to know when other people can actually appreciate it.