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From: Saturn next to Charmainec
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posted July 14, 2012 01:11 PM            

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Chin up. *kiss*

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posted July 15, 2012 12:20 PM            

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Everything is as it should be.

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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From: Venus next to Randall
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posted July 15, 2012 12:30 PM            

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Quite, my peanut, quite.

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Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

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Linda Goodman

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posted July 16, 2012 11:17 AM            

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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posted July 23, 2012 09:35 AM            

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Molo!

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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posted July 23, 2012 11:24 AM            

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Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

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Linda Goodman

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posted July 24, 2012 12:49 PM            

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You poofed!

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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posted July 27, 2012 10:51 AM            

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Again!

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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posted July 28, 2012 04:15 AM            

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Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

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Linda Goodman

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From: Blue Star Kachina
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posted July 28, 2012 07:32 AM            

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poor kitty kitty

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As Angels above guide Human beings, Human Beings have the opportunity to be Angels on Earth, who guide the Animal kingdom. - Da Vinci

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posted August 04, 2012 03:15 AM            

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posted August 13, 2012 09:14 AM            

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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posted August 14, 2012 12:38 PM            

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Looks like my nephew...sans the wings.

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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From: Venus next to Randall
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posted August 14, 2012 01:51 PM            

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quote:

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Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

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Linda Goodman

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From: Saturn next to Charmainec
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posted August 15, 2012 09:30 AM            

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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From: Venus next to Randall
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posted August 15, 2012 01:34 PM            

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Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

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Linda Goodman

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From: Saturn next to Charmainec
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posted August 15, 2012 02:16 PM            

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Deal!

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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posted August 16, 2012 04:19 AM              

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Cute

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Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place. -Kurt Vonnegut.

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posted August 17, 2012 02:35 AM            

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My story:

I was born on a Summer's day in the beautiful city of Cape Town, South Africa.

Mum chose my name. Later, people made their own versions of it: Charm, Charmy, Main, Mainy etc aka Charlamay.

Every child should experience the joys of their childhood but for some of us, life has other plans.

The worst is when the people we look up to the most hurt us. We want our parents to Love, nuture, guide and protect us.. I had the worst dad. He was a perfectionist, strict, also very short tempered and abusive.

The first memory I have of him hurting me was a kick in my back after I fell off my bicycle. He was teaching me (I was probably four going on five). I remember being scared because I couldn't balance and didn't want him to let go of the bicycle. He keep shouting, "Pedal! Keep straight! " He let go and the bicycle started to wobble and I fell, landing on my side. I heard him cussing and yelling. Next, I felt a sharp pain in cetre of my back, again and then again. That's when I realized he was kicking me. I started crying "Dada you hurting me!"
- "Shut up!! And don't you back chat me!! Get up and start again!!"

That was the start and it got worse after that.
Mum got it too all the time, especially when he lost his temper, he became violent. When she tried to leave, he'd beat her up to a pulp and threaten to take us (kids) away. Mum was a gentle, softhearted woman. She entervined when he would lash out on us and she'd take the beating but she wasn't always there to keep us safe..

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From: Venus next to Randall
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posted August 17, 2012 03:03 AM            

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.. besides the beatings, the emotional abuse was just as bad. He used to drop me on an abandant gravel road and leave me there for what seemed to be an eternity for being "naughty". It was terrifying not knowing if he was coming back. Stuck in the middle of nowhere, nothing to eat or drink, no one passing by or hear your cries for help.. just total isolation.. feeling unloved, unwanted, deserted and lost. I'd stand there screaming calling out "MOMMY! MAMA!!!" until my voice was hoarse and lay in the dirt and wait.

When he'd come back, he would ask if I was going to be good. Of course I would say yes! Gosh, anything not to go back there again. He also told me that if I told mum, he would take me back and leave me there forever.

I didn't tell her.. well, years later I did.
When we were visiting family/ friends or vice versa, we had to pretend to be this happy family for appearences. He was a business man and had a good reputation.. with outsiders, if only they knew what he was really like..

Nothing I did was ever good enough either. He called me stupid, useless, pathetic.. which made me try harder, always wanting to be the best at everything, which made me a bit of a perfectionist just to gain his approval and maybe even a make him proud..

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posted August 17, 2012 03:49 AM            

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As the years progressed, so did the beatings. It was punches to the face, abdomen, kicks to the head when he got me down to the ground. He'd use a belt, telephone cord or any other objects which were around. He also started choking me. Omfg..the sensation of not being able to breath and losing consciousness.. seeing the angry face of the person clasping and squeezing your throat, thinking that is the last thing you'll ever see. Trying to use your arms to get him to release his tight grip but not having enough strength to free yourself. Err..
Usually, the following day, he would buy lavish gifts - he NEVER apologized. The gifts were his way of an apology.
It was so bad, my brother left to live with our maternal grandparents.. absolutely lovely people.
Ma was of German descent and pa was Swedish. Listening to them speak with their different accents was always funny. I loved spending time with pa. He was wise, very calm and fun! When we spent some weekends there, it was like heaven on Earth. No walking on egg shells, no yelling, no arguing. We could just be ourselves and pa didn't mind me talking his ears off or singing out loud at the top of my lungs or dancing around the house, climbing up trees and rolling in the grass. It was freedom at its best! Ma would make us eat weird things though. Eat this for good eye sight, drink these herbs to grow up strong. Oh, the most common one for me was, "Eat your carrots if you want curly hair", Lol! I always believed her but no matter how many carrots I ate, me hair never became curly. Thanks, ma! My eye sight is good though.

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posted August 17, 2012 03:53 AM            

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DP

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From: Venus next to Randall
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posted August 17, 2012 03:57 AM            

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DP

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posted August 17, 2012 05:20 AM              

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Oh Charm how beautiful of you to share your story, though it did have my heart jumping and my jaw dropping!! Unfortunately I can relate to some of what you went through as a child and know how courageous your heart is to grow and survive. Ill share mine sometime. You are such a sweet woman. So glad to know you.

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Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place. -Kurt Vonnegut.

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From: Venus next to Randall
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posted August 17, 2012 06:19 AM            

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Hi, SC

Doing this is my therapy. Some of it was shared in bits and pieces in other forums. Many memories were buried but I need to do this for me, even if it's here - I don't care anymore, who's reading, who's judging and all that jazz. It's good to just get it out.

I'll continue wheneve I get a chance.

Looking forward to yours as well, when you're ready of course. You, too have endured and survived much.

You are so blessed now and you have a beautiful family.

Thanks and likewise. I'm glad to know you and many others here, too.

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quote:

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Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

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Linda Goodman

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