posted March 08, 2010 12:06 PM         

He also told me '1/3 of all men have this disease '

He is not taking it seriously, he trying to ignore his responsibility.

Which is easy really !! Just use a condom and ask if she's vacc.ed. The vaccine is so cheap.

It would be better if they got full STD tests done but if he finds a girl foolish enough(like me) to trust him that he doesn't have HIV and agrees to have unprotected sex...

posted March 08, 2010 12:56 PM         

sk - he had no respect for you, so i can not for the life of me understand why you aren't angry with someone who knowingly risked your life and futture and did not tell you. there is no excuse. it was a low life thing to do.

unfortunately low lifes don't have signs on thier foreheads.

best to assume everyone has blood borne pathogens and protect yourself accordingly.

posted March 08, 2010 01:08 PM         

First off, I hope you're ok!

Second, I remember you have a Virgo Mars. I can really see it in you. I have that too and would be strategizing in a similar sway, choosing a course of action that teaches him it's ok to be honest.

I don't think Neptune opp Mercury makes someone a liar for the heck of it. It could make someone hide facts if they feel that those facts would destroy the way they want things to be. He wants acceptance (Mercury rules 2nd & is in the 2nd), so he doesn't say what he thinks would cause a woman to reject him. I'm interpreting that part the same as you and think an important lesson he can take from this is he can have both: honesty and acceptance.

BUT not only is it ok for him to be honest about his disease, it was unacceptable for him to be dishonest. He may have hurt you! If you left him now, it's his lie that you'd be rejecting him for, not his truth.

It's ironic: if he'd just told you the truth from the start, you probably wouldn't have cared about him less. But being lied to like that and having your own safety be jeopardized by someone who should be caring for you...doesn't that make you care for him less? Make him someone you don't want as a partner?

I think he needs to see that not only can he be honest and not be rejected, but that his dishonesty will cause him to be rejected. Don't hide from him him how much it hurt and angered you. Those are real consequences of what he did to you and he should face them.

posted March 08, 2010 01:16 PM         

I couldn't sleep properly for a week, going through how to express my feelings so that he would feel awful for what he did.

But I came to the conclusion that someone, or some people should tell him how important it is that he tells his girlfriends to get vaccinated- how hard can that be ??

And he just won't listen if I don't do it in a calm manner.

He must be thinking- 'oh so the girl agreed to have unprotected sex, it's her responsibility !!'

I will never ever have unprotected sex again without having STD reports first.

posted March 08, 2010 01:24 PM         

*I dunno, since you said it wasn't such a serious relationship in the first place, I just don't see the point....sorry. *shrugs*

posted March 08, 2010 01:47 PM         

Your plan makes sense to me. I want him to see that he owes his partners the truth, that his truth won't make them run away, and that keeping his partners safe is a relatively easy thing to do.

It's just that, along with those practical lessons, I think he really needs to see this:

quote:

---

Make him see how he could have hurt me, how I'm in fear now..

---

posted March 08, 2010 01:48 PM         

I will break up with him. But I need to talk to him first. I have some questions. I'm expecting an apology.

Maybe he needs to talk. Who knows. Why did he tell me he had it after all ?

And maybe I will never have it.

I may even be the first girl he had the courage to admit he has it.

posted March 08, 2010 01:51 PM         

You're right I will express how frustrated I am but I'll be careful about it.

posted March 08, 2010 01:59 PM         

quote:

---

I don't want to push him to further denial.

---

Nothing brings the truth home like a lawsuit. If he buries himself in Neptune, a legal slap may be the only thing that wakes him up. And he needs to be woken up. I hope for your sake that it doesn't come to that.

posted March 08, 2010 03:11 PM         

quote:

---

And for the record: I am a cancer with Mercury Opposite Neptune and I was annoyed when people first brought up this placement as being responsible for his mistruth, but with the house placements involved (2nd and 8th) it does make sense. But remember people that not all of us with this placement are like that.

---

posted March 08, 2010 03:28 PM         

quote:

---

Nothing brings the truth home like a lawsuit. If he buries himself in Neptune, a legal slap may be the only thing that wakes him up. And he needs to be woken up. I hope for your sake that it doesn't come to that.

---

I was thinking the same thing.

posted March 08, 2010 04:14 PM         

quote:

---

He was probably afraid of rejection-the greatest fear of human kind. He could also be in denial- that Hep.B is not that infectitious, or that he doesn't HAVE TO tell girls about it.

---

SwirlKit - He didn't wear a condom.
He could've kept it a secret for years and years.. and *worn* a condom.

But he did not.

(I'll come back to this thread.. but I have to go atm)

posted March 08, 2010 04:37 PM         

Vaporlash-I agree but if he wanted to protect me and wore a condom, that wouldn't be enough.

He would have to avoid kissing me, using my towels, etc

What if I wanted to perform oral sex? Or demanded it myself ?

He would have to tell me he had it. If he really wanted to protect me.

posted March 08, 2010 05:14 PM         

If you find out he did get you sick, I hope you sue him.

posted March 08, 2010 05:46 PM         

I just broke up with him over the phone

I couldn't help it.

I feel better now.. I told him to tell her future gfs to get vacc.ed..

what a jerk..

posted March 08, 2010 06:20 PM         

firstly I want to say that I'm so sorry your guy betrayed you. That's so harsh.

I read this earlier post earlier in the week but I thought you were in good hands & getting support from other knowflakes so didn't respond but discussing this with someone else made me think of how I would react in your shoes & quite frankly this Libran would have had no trouble channeling her Venus Scorp by cutting of his genitals & feeding them to him before dumping his ass.

The issue at heart I believe is value of self, you're lack of it & his total disrespect of you & your body. No one who loves you would ever even think about doing this kind of criminal act. That's exactly what it is Swirl.....

A crime.

I wish you all the best in moving on without him & coming to value yourself as a treasure.

posted March 08, 2010 08:05 PM         

Born on the 7th, 16th, and 25th.... Whenever I see this number I always think deep dark secrets. Experience has taught me to run the other way whenever this number emerges. So gentle, so nice almost, kind to the point of stupidity it seems. But the lying, & hiding and the games always gets to me. #7 Lifepath behaves in a similar fashion. Haven't had much experience with those born on the 25th.

posted March 08, 2010 08:19 PM         

why is everyone misunderstanding and getting on Sanchenuss's case!

The guy has a valid point... i agree with you, Sanchenuss. Karma involved and this is a 50-50 split responsibilty/blame issue.
This is no different to unprotected sex and getting pregnant. I think she is lucky to not have HepB (and i'm sure i'm right in saying it would have shown up in the blood test if she did have it)

posted March 08, 2010 08:22 PM         

Good job on breaking up with him. Now you're free to be with a man that's worthy of you.

I wish you the best of luck.

Raymond

------------------
"Nothing matters absolutely;
the truth is it only matters relatively"

posted March 08, 2010 08:26 PM         

quote:

---

So, Glaucus what if a girl wear a shorts skirt, she shows clevage and she dances all over the guy, licks him, kisses him but then gets mad when he forces sex on her? The girl wasn't to blame at all?

---

posted March 08, 2010 08:48 PM         

Diana- I'm afraid he could be one of those people.

Actually, I almost broke up with him because I was really busy and stressed out a few weeks ago and he insisted on meeting again.

Well, we did meet again, and had sex again, and then he said 'Did you see anyone else when we were seperated ?' And I said- 'Well have you ?' and he said no of course not, but he somehow misunderstood me and thought I had sex with someone else.

Then we started talking about how we should tell each other if we ever sleep with other people. And he said in a 'oh and btw' manner, that he had Hep.B and probably I had it too.

I paused in shock so he asked 'Why didn't you tell me to use a condom ?' and I said-'I did but you said you didn't want to !' and he said 'Well why didn't you insist? Why did you trust me ?' and I said yes it was stupid but I trusted you because you have told me you only had 2 serious relationships before.

So I don't know if he felt guilty all of a sudden or if he was content in a sadistic way, that now he could tell me he had Hep. B and I wouldn't reject him since I had it too.

And when I said he should warn her future gfs he said 'I don't understand, do you have it is that why you're upset??' He just didn't get it. He didn't even apologize.

posted March 08, 2010 08:56 PM         

He also told me once 'Well what do you know about me ? You don't know what kind of person I am..'

But he has so many friends and a good job and a social life..