posted January 05, 2013 11:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
You're just like a princess aren't you? So high above us common folk still living in non-ideal marriages.

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Not at all. It frustrates me to see someone tell me they can't... that they have no options. We are stronger than that! Where is your self-respect? Why do you think what you are doing is okay?

So it's okay to keep up appearances while suffering in silence? While LYING to your husband day in and day out? That sounds like a horrible existence and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I don't understand the words "no options"... it just doesn't compute. I want to just grab you & shake you but in a very nice caring way.

posted January 05, 2013 11:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
Would it be better for me to stay with a cheat... to teach her that is how men treat women?

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Actually, no. As I said, good that you could leave, I just think you sounded callous talking about my children AND yours.

You didn't ask me what MY circumstances are because maybe you'd have to be a little more human if you knew them.

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
and he's likely using what you are doing as an excuse to cheat on you.

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It's not likely at all, you're just being a b!tch.

Btw, I noticed we are on the same forum. For you to talk here is moral, but for me to do it is cheating. Even though it's the same kind of talk to the same kind of people.

posted January 05, 2013 11:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Btw, I noticed we are on the same forum. For you to talk here is moral, but for me to do it is cheating. Even though it's the same kind of talk to the same kind of people.

Nice that your moral code is SO clear-cut and prejudiced towards yourself.

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Am I wrong, or did you say you chat with another man one on one? I thought you said you had someone you confide in and talk to about things you cannot speak to your husband about... that's a little more than forum posting.

Also, didn't you say you keep your activity online (even forum posting) a secret?

posted January 05, 2013 11:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
It's not likely at all, you're just being a b!tch.

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I am telling you how men like that are. If he is controlling & demeaning to you, likely he is a cheat. It came of bitchy because you came at me fists flying... I bite back.

posted January 05, 2013 11:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
Am I wrong, or did you say you chat with another man one on one?

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You are wrong, I didn't say that. I do talk to Xiiro a lot down in the Sweet Peas subforum, but it's not just us, and Xiiro is gay, and this is a public forum, so it's all there for people to inspect.

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
I thought you said you had someone you confide in and talk to about things you cannot speak to your husband about

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Wrong, you weren't paying attention. You have been making assumptions all along....

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
... that's a little more than forum posting.

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Actually no, I can't talk to my husband about astrology, even though he knows for a fact I am interested in it. Sooooo everything here is what I was alluding to.

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
Also, didn't you say you keep your activity online (even forum posting) a secret?

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Just this....

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
My morals are clear because I am not hiding my online activities or my call logs, texts messages, facebook messages, etc. I don't have to hide these things. ???

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Uh huh. My husband just hates astrology as I keep saying over and over.

I don't have a Facebook account, don't get text messages, don't get phone calls from dudes...

THIS FORUM right here is the extent of my secret life.

*For the record*

posted January 05, 2013 11:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
It came of bitchy because you came at me fists flying... I bite back.

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Actually you are the one who first initiated this discussion, with this:

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
because my ex-husbands started off doing what you are doing now before the actual physical act of cheating.

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posted January 05, 2013 11:40 PM            

Literally, every Libra I've dated has cheated, without a doubt.

I also, due to a chatty nature, enjoy talking to those whom I consider "off the menu" ie, they are in a relationship.

Generally speaking, the Virgo/Libra/Leos will cheat (I say this b/c of offers ahhem) and the more watery signs will also cheat but are very very selective.

They have a friend perhaps, or, someone instantly catches their eye and they will do it on the spot (behind closed doors) one time, or will never act at all, the moment passes.

Thinking Geminis and Pisces and Aries, they can get caught up in the moment and probably feel really bad afterwards..they may not show it:

Gracie Burns sported a pair of new diamond earrings at a dinner.

When asked about them she said George bought them for me after he slept with a women

When asked how she felt about it she said

"I wanted him to sleep with her again so I could get the necklace too"

Point being:

posted January 06, 2013 01:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:

Well, think I have something to add to this:

Literally, every Libra I've dated has cheated, without a doubt.

I also, due to a chatty nature, enjoy talking to those whom I consider "off the menu" ie, they are in a relationship.

Generally speaking, the Virgo/Libra/Leos will cheat (I say this b/c of offers ahhem) and the more watery signs will also cheat but are very very selective.

They have a friend perhaps, or, someone instantly catches their eye and they will do it on the spot (behind closed doors) one time, or will never act at all, the moment passes.

Thinking Geminis and Pisces and Aries, they can get caught up in the moment and probably feel really bad afterwards..they may not show it:

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so because every libra you've dated so far has cheated on you, that means ALL libras WILL cheat huh? oh and the virgos and leos too?

posted January 06, 2013 02:09 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by 11nahyt:
so because every libra you've dated so far has cheated on you, that means ALL libras WILL cheat huh? oh and the virgos and leos too?

you sound EXACTLY,like those ignorant hurt females out there, who categorize all men as dogs, worthless and untrustworthy...because the men they've dated, were all of these things.

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Not at all, merely relaying my experience.

I'd still happily have a relationship with a Libra, we mesh, also know what can happen.

Not "will happen" mind you, just what can happen.

What I've found is the Scorpitarious placements in my chart means I tend to create attraction coupled with conversation.

This brings insight during what I'd say is the buzz of the first couple of conversations, inow, I am told things at first.

I did not post that lightly Nahyt.

posted January 06, 2013 02:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Generally speaking, the Virgo/Libra/Leos will cheat (I say this b/c of offers ahhem) and the more watery signs will also cheat but are very very selective.

They have a friend perhaps, or, someone instantly catches their eye and they will do it on the spot (behind closed doors) one time, or will never act at all, the moment passes.

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you are not only speaking about your experience with said signs, but you went on with trying to make it a fact that, all under those signs WILL cheat.

yes, the OP wants info based on what YOU have already experienced, not what you haven't.im pretty sure the OP didn't ask for generalizations. but for specifics.

posted January 06, 2013 02:22 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by 11nahyt:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b] Generally speaking, the Virgo/Libra/Leos will cheat (I say this b/c of offers ahhem) and the more watery signs will also cheat but are very very selective.

They have a friend perhaps, or, someone instantly catches their eye and they will do it on the spot (behind closed doors) one time, or will never act at all, the moment passes.

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you are not only speaking about your experience with said signs, but you went on with trying to make it a fact that all under those signs WILL cheat.

yes, the OP wants info based on what YOU have already experienced, not what you haven't.im pretty sure the OP didn't ask for generalizations. but for specifics.

[/B][/QUOTE]

Actually, yes I am speaking of my personal experiences.

I used the term "generally" b/c it does not always apply, not once did I say "will" merely "in my experience".

posted January 06, 2013 02:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
not once did I say "will" merely "in my experience".

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i quoted your previous statement TWICE, where you clearly wrote how all of those people WILL cheat . and how they "WILL" go about it. have you suddenly lost your memory and become blind?.

the term "general" or "generally" means, ALL (without specifics), or nearly all. you have no experience with all, nor with nearly all, of those who fall under those signs, to claim such things.

posted January 06, 2013 02:58 AM            

My dad cheated when we were really young but what destroyed our family was my mom's imature handling of the event. She broke down hysterically, crying and banging the door, wall, floor, force the kids to take side, bad-mouthed dad frequently, took his money/house/car, and refused to divorce. Even after having all that, she continued to belittle dad... I honestly don't know why they don't just divorce, they are not living together anyway. But they both regret now in their 50s and 60s and said it to us constantly that if time turn round, both would have handle their marriage crisis better. It's not about divorce or not, forgive or not, it is being able to handle crisis. There is no right or wrong for any actions as long as it is the best outcome WE WANT.

If Mom had handled things better, and hold her cool better and not dragged the children into their battle, I would have respected her. If Dad had better self control and be man to solve the crisis before things turn into out of proportion and reined in his princessy of a wife, I would have respected him. All it shows in them to me is just lacking in control over things. Life can go bad, and to worst, but most important is how we sail with the waves.

posted January 06, 2013 02:58 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by 11nahyt:
i quoted your previous statement TWICE, where you clearly wrote how all of those people WILL cheat . and how they o about it. have you suddenly lost your memory and become blind?.

the term "general" or "generally" means, ALL (without specifics), or nearly all. you have no experience with all, nor with nearly all, of those who fall under those signs, to claim such things.

from what you've stated here, the only experience you have, is with the ones you've dealt with. you have NO experience with ALL water signs, or ALL libra/virgo/leos, to state as a fact, that they are ALL cheaters. let alone get soo ahead of yourself, as to actually say HOW they will cheat.

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One is reading what one wants to read into my post, and ignoring, my actual experience.

Find where, once, i said "all"

Does not exist, one is projecting and it is unbecoming as instead of asking me, one simply projected.

Tsk tsk.

posted January 06, 2013 03:08 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lilithpluto:
Disclaimer: I am just sharing personal opinions and no intentions of forcing any views down any one's throat.

My dad cheated when we were really young but what destroyed our family was my mom's imature handling of the event. She broke down hysterically, crying and banging the door, wall, floor, force the kids to take side, bad-mouthed dad frequently, took his money/house/car, and refused to divorce. Even after having all that, she continued to belittle dad... I honestly don't know why they don't just divorce, they are not living together anyway. But they both regret now in their 50s and 60s and if time turn round, both would have handle their marriage crisis better. It's not able divorce or not, it is being able to handle crisis. There is no right or wrong for any actions as long as it is the best outcome [b]we want.

If Mom had handled things better, and hold her cool better and not dragged the children into their battle, I would have respected her. If Dad had better self control and be man to solve the crisis before things turn into out of proportion and reined in his princessy of a wife, I would have respected him. All it shows in them to me is just lacking in control over things. Life can go bad, and to worst, but most important is how we sail with the waves.

Dad (Scorpio Sun-Mercury, Sag Venus, Libra Moon, Leo Mars)
Mom (Leo Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Pluto & Cap Moon) [/B]

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Exactly, it is not so much the cheating, it is the after math, thus the George Burns anecdote.

There is also a difference between things happen and someone who makes a habit of sleeping with others.

To fly off of the handle is unwise imo.

posted January 06, 2013 03:27 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
One is reading what one wants to read into my post, and ignoring, my actual experience.

Find where, once, i said "all"

Does not exist, one is projecting and it is unbecoming as instead of asking me, one simply projected.

Tsk tsk.

Do better "will" coupled with "generally" does tend to mean something, perhaps one should brush up on what a "qualifier" means?

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nah nah .. i am not ignoring anything.i am just pointing out exactly what you are saying. you typed the words "GENERALLY", and "WILL". go back to your post and see it for yourself.

once again. GENERALLY means, either ALL, or NEARLY ALL. you didn't specify which of the two, which doesn't even matter anyways. because in fact, you have NOT experienced with ALL, nor with NEARLY ALL, of the people who fall under the signs you've mentioned.to claim such things

you went farther than just stating your experience. had you instead said something like "in my experience, all of my libra partners cheated(which you did), and the leos/virgos DID this and that, and the water signs DID this and that". that would have been diff. because you are then, making it clear, that you're only referring to the cases you've seen, or personally experienced.. and even then, you should have added what in their charts you think made them cheat etc. but you went on to generalize saying, libras/virgos/leos and waters signs WILL cheat. and then going on about HOW they will cheat (the cheating scenario you provided in your first post).

posted January 06, 2013 04:13 AM            

That having been said, I've been all three player options in the cheating triangle and NONE of them left me feeling better about myself.
As the cheater I developed an emotional/friendly relationship with another man while I was in a horrible relationship that I was afraid (for my personal safety) to leave. My SO at the time had emotionally/physically broken me down to the point I didn't think I was worth the air I breathed. This other man and I slept together after a night of drinking and confessions of feelings. The next morning I felt horrible for the betrayal to my SO. I didn't see the other guy again for 5 months, was still with my unloving, hurtful, controlling, belittling boyfriend.. and this other person, after months of no contact still got on his knees and begged me to be his. He was the only person who could make my smile come from my heart and looking back on it now, he surely saved me. I'm not proud that I didn't have the courage to tell my SO to go jump off a cliff with jagged rocks at the bottom. After the b-day party we had an affair for a few months before I actually left my boyfriend. At that point though I wasn't sleeping with him, not even sharing a bed, sometimes not even a roof because I would choose to stay with my bff and my brother.

I don't think being unhappy in a relationship is an excuse/reason to cheat. I don't approve even of my own actions, but the person who was supposed to love me and be there for me broke me down to a shell of a person. I wasn't unhappy, I didn't feel anything anymore. This other man made me feel again. Not just for somebody else, but for myself. Its the only instance I could ever have convinced myself what I was doing was okay.

After I was single I didn't mind being the "other woman", infact preferred it because there was no chance of being too attached if I knew they were taken. It was an extremely selfish time in my life and I honestly hope I didn't cause any hurt to anyone else, but I really didn't care then. I went from not caring at all about myself to "I'm the only one who matters." Not exactly a healthy outlook.

Pisces Sun, Merc, Jupiter
Taurus Moon
Mars conjunct uranus in Sagittarius

posted January 06, 2013 04:46 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sand:
Yes we'll it's not v hard for me to find a partner. I suppose I just have more.. Options.

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posted January 06, 2013 04:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
It's like saying, if your husband doesn't want you talking to anyone ever, male or female, you have to listen to him and honor his preference, or *you* are in the wrong.

'Must be nice for you, seeing things in black and white like that.

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I wouldn't be in that situation with a partner like that. I'd have left long time ago . No, it's not about seeing black n white, it's just that I have pretty strong standards I uphold that's all.

posted January 06, 2013 04:51 AM            

I used to be like that more as a teen, I grew passed that now.

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
When I was much younger, I was like this.

It stems from either insecurity, low self-worth, a fear of abandonment, an attempt to avoid loneliness, short attention span, or simply feeling like your relationship is missing something and you can do better.

As I aged, I evolved and realized this was not okay. I learned how to be "single" and okay with NOT having someone. I also learned that it was okay to be honest. Yes, 100% honest.

It was only AFTER I learned those lessons that I met my partner...the ONE person who has completely satisfied me. Prior to meeting him, I found a fault in everyone else. There was always some thing that left me wondering if I could do better. But before I could do better, I had to BE better. I had to mature and make many self improvements. I was only finding faults in others to deflect attention from my own shortcomings.

In other words, I had to be able to love myself. If I couldn't spend time alone with myself... then how could I expect anyone else to want to spend time with me?

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posted January 06, 2013 05:01 AM            

Afterwards, bc he broke your self esteem, you felt more at ease if you knew the other person was attached as it creates distance, which makes you feel more secure. You didn't want to be vulnerable.

quote:

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Originally posted by LionFish:
I don't understand why anybody is even being made to feel like they are being attacked on this thread. Whether you were the cheater, other person, or person being cheated on, everybody came in to share personal experiences. Not judge each other.

That having been said, I've been all three player options in the cheating triangle and NONE of them left me feeling better about myself.
As the cheater I developed an emotional/friendly relationship with another man while I was in a horrible relationship that I was afraid (for my personal safety) to leave. My SO at the time had emotionally/physically broken me down to the point I didn't think I was worth the air I breathed. This other man and I slept together after a night of drinking and confessions of feelings. The next morning I felt horrible for the betrayal to my SO. I didn't see the other guy again for 5 months, was still with my unloving, hurtful, controlling, belittling boyfriend.. and this other person, after months of no contact still got on his knees and begged me to be his. He was the only person who could make my smile come from my heart and looking back on it now, he surely saved me. I'm not proud that I didn't have the courage to tell my SO to go jump off a cliff with jagged rocks at the bottom. After the b-day party we had an affair for a few months before I actually left my boyfriend. At that point though I wasn't sleeping with him, not even sharing a bed, sometimes not even a roof because I would choose to stay with my bff and my brother.

I don't think being unhappy in a relationship is an excuse/reason to cheat. I don't approve even of my own actions, but the person who was supposed to love me and be there for me broke me down to a shell of a person. I wasn't unhappy, I didn't feel anything anymore. This other man made me feel again. Not just for somebody else, but for myself. Its the only instance I could ever have convinced myself what I was doing was okay.

After I was single I didn't mind being the "other woman", infact preferred it because there was no chance of being too attached if I knew they were taken. It was an extremely selfish time in my life and I honestly hope I didn't cause any hurt to anyone else, but I really didn't care then. I went from not caring at all about myself to "I'm the only one who matters." Not exactly a healthy outlook.

Pisces Sun, Merc, Jupiter
Taurus Moon
Mars conjunct uranus in Sagittarius

The only person to ever cheat on me was a:
Cancer Sun
Leo Venus
Gemini Merc and Mars

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posted January 06, 2013 05:24 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Haplesschild*:
In my last relationship, I rejected like 7 guys that asked me out through the 8 or so months I was taken. Just cos you have options doesn't mean you should do it. You're a Gem Venus right? Figures. I haven't had good experiences with them, and the Gem Venus/mercury people I know are often cheaters too. ;_; (like 85% of the ones I've encountered cheat easily).

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