posted January 06, 2013 05:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
I am telling you how men like that are. If he is controlling & demeaning to you, likely he is a cheat. It came of bitchy because you came at me fists flying... I bite back.

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I've noticed that alot of controlling guys who are uber distrusting and paranoid dooo have the tendency to be cheats. :S It's like they know how easy it is to cross the line, how easy it is to lie that they think you are doingthe same thing.

posted January 06, 2013 09:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
You either need to respect her wishes or openly tell her you have hobbies that she needs to deal with.

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It's not a hobby. I'm keeping an open mind, but I don't even subscribe to it. I'm intellectually intrigued.

Telling her is absolutely not an option and its more than a matter of mere "discomfort." Saying that I hypothetically had sex with ten women on the side isn't half as bad as saying I believe in astrology. Infidelity can be forgiven. Consorting with the evil one can't. You aren't in my shoes and so you wouldn't understand.

If you have decided for me that I ought not to be in this forum, then you have voiced your opinion, and it is noted. It'll be taken under consideration and advisement.

posted January 06, 2013 02:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Haplesschild*:
I've noticed that alot of controlling guys who are uber distrusting and paranoid dooo have the tendency to be cheats. :S It's like they know how easy it is to cross the line, how easy it is to lie that they think you are doing the same thing.

Anyway you two should just make peace. Seems like it's getting too heated ><

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I really don't care anymore. Honestly, I've made my point. Other people can just continue doing what they claim makes them happy as long as it doesn't negatively affect my life.

posted January 07, 2013 05:28 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Haplesschild*:
I wouldn't be in that situation with a partner like that. I'd have left long time ago . No, it's not about seeing black n white, it's just that I have pretty strong standards I uphold that's all.

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For the record, I'm not in a situation like that either. Nor am I in the domestic violence situation you brought up for analogy, to try and show me my wrongs.

The exact situation I'm in is, I can't talk to my husband about everything. That leaves a gap where I talk to other people and not him. He might object to some of what I talk about with other people, mainly because he is religious.

I don't think that makes me a cheater or sneak. It doesn't mean that my communication "isn't innocent or I wouldn't have to hide it." It's innocent, he just wouldn't like it.

And as I said a few pages ago, to suggest that divorce is the best choice in my situation ignores the details. Like the fact that I love my husband, despite not being able to tell him everything comfortably.

posted January 07, 2013 05:39 AM            

What works for one person may not work for another.

It's as simple as that.

So if Faith isn't unhappy in her marriage even though she can't tell her husband everything, then let her be.

The only problem would be if her sense of security, self-worth or joy collapsed because of her marriage.

I definitely think it's better to leave a degrading situation before things get even worse.
But if things aren't that bad and there are other things to keep it together (ie children) then sure, keep it going.

*

On topic: anyone can cheat regardless of their natal charts. And you know why? Because of progressions and tranists..

So.. not every Gemini will lie and cheat, and not every Capricorn or Taurus or whatever other "faithful" sign will be loyal.

Astrology probably *can* shed light on these things but before jumping to conclusions, make sure you know every aspect of the matter. Don't forget transits and progressions, as well as synastry charts and even composites. Everything counts.

posted January 07, 2013 05:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:

And then, how about my wishes? Should I impose my wishes on her?

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I see some of that in every marriage. It's always about negotiation...sometimes where there can't be agreement, rather than fighting about individual rights eternally, begging for "permission," one partner just does his or her thing.

A Pisces friend of my family has the sweetest relationship with his wife; they've been married like 40 years. One day, this friend and my husband went out to buy something, something non-scandalous, but the Pisces said, "My wife CANNOT know I bought this."

Another time my husband was working for the wife, and she said, about a flooring decision, "Do NOT tell my husband."

That's how those two handle confrontation: they don't. They just do some things behind each other's backs, and enjoy their partially-lie-ridden relationship to the max when they are together.

It's the same with my brother and his wife, they've been married almost 20 years. They love each other so much, you should hear them raving about each other...and it's genuine.

And they do things behind each other's backs.

Like when they first got married, my sister-in-law commanded my brother to stop smoking. That's when his "I don't smoke" deception began. Oh, he could have obeyed her, or he could have defied her, but he took the middle way; pretending obedience while taking his good old time quitting.

I'm not trying to advocate duplicity, just saying that it seems like a common ingredient in all the long-lasting marriages I know of.

Which makes me not a big fan of marriage

posted January 07, 2013 05:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:

But if things aren't that bad and there are other things to keep it together (ie children) then sure, keep it going.

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Thank you for saying all that.

For me, it's always a matter of weighing everything against everything else. Like, if I leave...I will just be trading headaches...and maybe I will make a net gain of happiness, but will my kids??

And what was I leaving for again? Astrology? Is it worth wrecking a family over, especially when I really enjoy my husband's company most of the time, and have reformed him so far that he went from throwing out my New Age books to turning a blind eye to them? And sometimes he even teases me now: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"

It's more complicated than that, much more complicated...just giving a snapshot of how I think.

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
On topic: anyone can cheat regardless of their natal charts. And you know why? Because of progressions and tranists..

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I once read that was the case with Lilith transits, that if Lilith is transiting a key point in synastry, people might wreck their lives in pursuit of each other. Pretty crazy.

posted January 07, 2013 06:07 AM            

Of course, it's always wise to think about something in depth before taking a final decision.

And I honestly think that in time, you will know. If you are in the fog right now, at some point it will dissipate and you'll know for sure what to do. Just be patient and try your best to make it work, - for yourself, your husband, and your children.

Good luck and keep positive, all right.
People can judge all they want, no one really knows what situation you're in and how you feel about it. Trust your intuition and do what's best for you and your family.

posted January 07, 2013 06:35 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LionFish:
I don't understand why anybody is even being made to feel like they are being attacked on this thread. Whether you were the cheater, other person, or person being cheated on, everybody came in to share personal experiences. Not judge each other.

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Thanks for sharing your experiences.

I think Pisces are up against a special challenge in relationships, but I don't know how to describe it to a Pisces without sounding like I know you better than you know yourself.

But I'm a Rabbit, which equates with Pisces, and a Pisces moon...it's hard sometimes to feel *bound* to serving others at my own expense, and then get accused of doing wrong by serving the wrong people, making people jealous, not being partial enough...or whatever.

posted January 07, 2013 06:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
For the record, I'm not in a situation like that either. Nor am I in the domestic violence situation you brought up for analogy, to try and show me my wrongs.

The exact situation I'm in is, I can't talk to my husband about everything. That leaves a gap where I talk to other people and not him. He might object to some of what I talk about with other people, mainly because he is religious.

I don't think that makes me a cheater or sneak. It doesn't mean that my communication "isn't innocent or I wouldn't have to hide it." It's innocent, he just wouldn't like it.

And as I said a few pages ago, to suggest that divorce is the best choice in my situation ignores the details. Like the fact that I love my husband, despite not being able to tell him everything comfortably.

And I know a lot of successful marriages where the partners keep stuff from each other.

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posted January 07, 2013 06:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:

And I honestly think that in time, you will know. If you are in the fog right now, at some point it will dissipate and you'll know for sure what to do. Just be patient and try your best to make it work, - for yourself, your husband, and your children.

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Thank you, thank you~ that's what I'm hoping for. More clarity.

Of course I am coming up on Pluto transiting conjunct my sun while Uranus squares it. That ought to be...um...interesting.

I'll probably still be here, live-blogging the meltdown.

posted January 07, 2013 06:42 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Haplesschild*:
Yeah I get it's hard, I just feel you probably shouldn't stay in a marriage if you aren't happy or where you feel like you have to hold back for fear of the other person reacting a certain way. You deserve to be happy, and even though kids might not mention it, they can always sense if their parents don't have the best relationship. good luck, be strong regardless. Hope things would improve in time.

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Thanks, I hear you...trust me.

posted January 07, 2013 07:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
I see some of that in every marriage. It's always about negotiation...sometimes where there can't be agreement, rather than fighting about individual rights eternally, begging for "permission," one partner just does his or her thing.

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Like one of my infamous lady friends who perpetually gripes to me. She buys her Wedgwood china and Waterford crystal one plate or one glass at a time, shipped discreetly in unmarked brown boxes, to escape her husband's attention. Why does she do that? That's ridiculously expensive. Oh, he wouldn't approve, but he's got hyper wealth. But he's too f-ing blind and clueless that she replaces the plates he eats on. Just that he would object to her buying china and crystal as frivolous, even as he replaces his whatever ultra fancy sports car annually with the newer model (in addition to which ever new human model he's boffing...), even as he gets new pants for his ever expanding waist and shines his bald head.

posted January 07, 2013 07:59 AM            

I meant there is some deception in the good marriages.

Like my college boyfriend's mother did stuff similar to your friend; she would buy clothes on the sly since she was married to a sweet, handsome, usually-considerate skinflint who could be ridiculous and merciless about her purchases.

I mean, everyone is flawed, and I think we are entitled to protect ourselves a little from each other's brute nature.

posted January 07, 2013 08:09 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Like one of my infamous lady friends who perpetually gripes to me. She buys her Wedgwood china and Waterford crystal one plate or one glass at a time, shipped discreetly in unmarked brown boxes, to escape her husband's attention. Why does she do that? That's ridiculously expensive. Oh, he wouldn't approve, but he's got hyper wealth. But he's too f-ing blind and clueless that she replaces the plates he eats on. Just that he would object to her buying china and crystal as frivolous, even as he replaces his whatever ultra fancy sports car annually with the newer model (in addition to which ever new human model he's boffing...), even as he gets new pants for his ever expanding waist and shines his bald head.

Compared to sh1t I hear out there, I'll take my compromised version lol

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posted January 07, 2013 05:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Like one of my infamous lady friends who perpetually gripes to me. She buys her Wedgwood china and Waterford crystal one plate or one glass at a time, shipped discreetly in unmarked brown boxes, to escape her husband's attention. Why does she do that? That's ridiculously expensive. Oh, he wouldn't approve, but he's got hyper wealth. But he's too f-ing blind and clueless that she replaces the plates he eats on. Just that he would object to her buying china and crystal as frivolous, even as he replaces his whatever ultra fancy sports car annually with the newer model (in addition to which ever new human model he's boffing...), even as he gets new pants for his ever expanding waist and shines his bald head.

Compared to sh1t I hear out there, I'll take my compromised version lol

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posted January 07, 2013 05:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Haplesschild*:
Obv she married him for the money. :O I'd choose being semi poor and having an awesome husband instead.

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What leads you to that conclusion?

People from that sort of society come from a background of wealth. She is/was a trust fund kid herself, independently wealthy beyond imagination. The woman is just being very respectful of her doofus of a husband. Her family wealth is magnitudes larger than the husband's. I've been her little gripe-boy since college: her sad little "emotional rescue" toy.

Obviously being semi-broke works for you. Good for you. What makes you think that all wealthy people are unhappy, huh? I can think of reasons why the broke are far more unhappy than the wealthy. Anyway, good for you, and it's none of my business how you lead your life.

posted January 07, 2013 06:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Thank you, thank you~ that's what I'm hoping for. More clarity.

Of course I am coming up on Pluto transiting conjunct my sun while Uranus squares it. That ought to be...um...interesting.

I'll probably still be here, live-blogging the meltdown.

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posted January 07, 2013 06:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
What leads you to that conclusion?

People from that sort of society come from a background of wealth. She is/was a trust fund kid herself, independently wealthy beyond imagination. The woman is just being very respectful of her doofus of a husband. Her family wealth is magnitudes larger than the husband's. I've been her little gripe-boy since college: her sad little "emotional rescue" toy.

Obviously being semi-broke works for you. Good for you. What makes you think that all wealthy people are unhappy, huh? I can think of reasons why the broke are far more unhappy than the wealthy. Anyway, good for you, and it's none of my business how you lead your life.

Broke doesn't work for me. My version is that being broke is for chumps. I live a good life.

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posted January 07, 2013 06:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
How many people have voted for Gemini planets? It's around that time of year when the first jump on Gemini Moon and/or Venus usually happens.

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posted January 08, 2013 04:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:

Thanks for sharing your experiences.

I think Pisces are up against a special challenge in relationships, but I don't know how to describe it to a Pisces without sounding like I know you better than you know yourself.

But I'm a Rabbit, which equates with Pisces, and a Pisces moon...it's hard sometimes to feel *bound* to serving others at my own expense, and then get accused of doing wrong by serving the wrong people, making people jealous, not being partial enough...or whatever.

To me, Pisces love, being universal and spiritual, sometimes just seems incompatible with the kind of totally exclusive love most people are looking for in relationships. But that's just my own tentative view, I hope it doesn't offend anyone by being off the mark.

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I kind of understand what you mean. How can a Pisces love just one person if they love everyone for their soul, most of the time regardless of wrong doing...sometimes even because of it...

No matter how transcendant and otherworldly any person might be there is still a special somebody that can pull their heart a little stronger. Somebody who's soul doesn't merely speak, but sings a song for that Pisces and knows it. I found a person like that in my gentleman friend I was speaking of before.

Maybe that's why some Pisces pull the disappearing act, they don't know their song yet...

posted January 08, 2013 03:47 PM            

The most chronic cheat I have ever known was a Scorpio sun. He is 38 now and divorced after years of often very open cheating on his seemingly perfect wife.

He has Venus conjunct Neptune and I believe that neptune's affect on venus would give an almost unreal and idealistic version of what "love" and lust should be. Particularly regarding the ideal partner, how they should look/behave etc etc.

Nothing on earth's plain can match that level of idealism, so there is an almost irrepressable need to keep "searching" i.e cheating.

Food for thought perhaps?

posted January 09, 2013 04:24 PM            

but there is this growing desire to cheat, i don't think its to emotionally cheat.. i wouldn't stay with someone that i'm less attached to or bonded with than another who exists outside, thats an impossibility for me.

but the forbidden fruit scenario of a romp is undeniably a turn on for me.

i have moon squares, and venus squares, and moon and venus opposition.

i think its the venus-square-uranus for me, with jupiter square venus