posted March 01, 2013 08:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
lexxigrammer , did i in anyway reference you in my post? no i didn't....so why are you taking it as a personal attack?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
No you did not and no I did not take it as a personal attack.
YOU stated your love of being/acting immature,
so I responded.
Sorry you took it as a personal attack from me.
It was not one.
You admitted to loving to act like a 15 year old.
I simply responded.

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posted March 01, 2013 09:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DepTaurus:

I will say this before sweet peas came along there were a few posts started else where on the other forums.Maybe it's a good idea to have a sweet pea,at least the majority of these subjects can be discussed on one forum instead of it afterwards spreading onto the other's.No matter what you decide though these topics will one way or the other show up on one of the other forums. At least with sweet peas it stays in sweet peas.

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True

posted March 01, 2013 09:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
lexxigrammer , did i in anyway reference you in my post? no i didn't....so why are you taking it as a personal attack?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
No you did not and no I did not take it as a personal attack.
YOU stated your love of being/acting immature,
so I responded.
Sorry you took it as a personal attack from me.
It was not one.
You admitted to loving to act like a 15 year old.
I simply responded.

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quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

you took that way out of context.... i meant i have a sense of humor and im all for being silly and having fun.

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posted March 01, 2013 11:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
Randall,
at the moment I am burned out over all this.
If some other mods refuse to be strict;
and or get on my case again for enforcing the rules, as Ami has done.
Well I do not know what good re-opening Sweet Peas will do.
I am shutting up now because I am quite disgusted about it all.

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Hi Lexx,

I worked as an online gaming moderator for several years and I completely understand your stress. I think it's in our nature to attack when we are censored. Part of the frustration of being a mod is that when the time comes for someone to be the bad guy, yours are the shoulders upon which that burden falls.

As far as I know, moderating is a volunteer position in LL, which can also cause stress. Much of that stress comes from not always having someone to back us up or even take over when the person we are interacting with won't back down. Personally I feel you do a fantastic job keeping an eye on things and your ability to show restraint with acting on your opinions and work in the spirit of LL's rules, shows intelligence and maturity.

I think moderation is lax, not because you are failing, but because the rules are not well established. When I was asked to be a mod, I had no idea what the rules were or where to even find them. In fact, I assumed members were trusted on their own merit and when things got out of hand, Randall put the smack down. To this day I have no idea what the process would be if an issue needed to be escalated to Randall.

Much of the decision making by moderators is done at their discretion and that often inspires two notions in those who are being moderated. It is easy in this scenario for members to think they can challenge the rules. If moderators are just feeling things out and using their best judgment that means their judgment can be swayed. It is also easy to fall into a "You're not the boss of me" attitude when enforcing the rules is a flexible process. Moderators are members too and some folks have a hard time accepting administrative decisions by people they consider "peers". =)

If there were a clear and defined set of rules and disciplinary actions, then a lot of stress could be alleviated. If while a topic is getting out of hand, you can just pop in a message that says:

"Name, please consider this a warning. Take a moment to review the forum rules *link*, specifically rule #5. Further issues will result in more severe action."

Then there is no debate. They broke the rules, you warned them it wasn't okay. If they do it again, you could give them a final warning and then escalate to Randall for a suspension or banning.

This way you are not the bad guy who decided on a personal whim, that a person's actions were unacceptable. You are a moderator, pointing out that the rules are being broken and offering the person an opportunity to keep their thread or access to their account. If they are willing to abide by the rules, then they are free to enjoy their time in LL.

We should have clearly defined rules for moderator conduct. Having the word "Moderator" under our name is a privilege and it should hold us to a specific standard. Moderators can't expect respect from the community, when they are just as guilty of breaking the rules as those who are warned. Disputes between mods need to be taken to Randall, not slugged out on the forums for everyone to watch. Perhaps a Moderators Only room should be created where mod disputes can be talked out and closed threads can be moved, for Randall's review. If mods can't follow the rules, act as a role model for other members, and treat members (including other mods) in a respectful way, then we shouldn't be mods.

This isn't written with any specific people or situation in mind. It comes from years of experience working in this kind of environment. That being said, people are going to be rude to us as moderators, it's our job to tell them they can't do stuff. Defiance is a natural reaction, especially by people who like to push or break the rules. If someone is getting on your case for enforcing the rules (in an unbiased way), don't defend your self, leave the unproductive conversation and let Randall have the final word. This includes people who constantly treat you with disrespect. Mods shouldn't be picking on, griefing, or treating each other with disrespect. If they are not able to move on from disputes, then they shouldn't be moderating the disputes of others.

I feel there are a lot of useful ideas that could mitigate the closing of entire forum categories and the frustration of several members, while making moderator's lives a lot less stressful. We just have to communicate to Randall what we need to do our job most efficiently and leave the final details up to him. =)

Please don't be discouraged. I think you have been a very helpful part of what makes LL such a safe and inviting place.

posted March 02, 2013 12:37 AM            

Brilliant as always! You make excellent points.

quote:

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Perhaps a Moderators Only room should be created where mod disputes can be talked out and closed threads can be moved, for Randall's review.

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This is a great idea! I think perhaps there should be more communication in the Mod squad.

posted March 02, 2013 12:38 AM            

But yeah I can understand why some don't want it to be all about the "physical relations"...not wanting it to get "pervy"

posted March 02, 2013 09:51 AM            

It should be moderated by Mods not afraid to be present and respectfully keep it on track and following the guidelines.

I believe it is that basic

posted March 02, 2013 10:23 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by juniperb:
SPITR should be reopened minus the any sexual description. (that specifically opens the door for the lewdness).

It should be moderated by Mods not afraid to be present and respectfully keep it on track and following the guidelines.

I believe it is that basic

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Yep, this seems to be the clearest and most effective way to put back SPITR, if Randall so decides.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted March 02, 2013 06:25 PM            

but I'd like to extend my apologies for being one of the members who swears like a sailor sometimes.

I forget how offensive other people might find it, sometimes. And how casually I can toss them around without thinking much about it (because swear words don't offend me and I am comfortable with them like any other word).

anyway, I use the "@" and "!" to get my word across, but will refrain from doing so from now on. I've done it because when one sees "****" it can mean any number of four-letter words and I like to make myself clear.

I can do so without swearing though. Just like I do in 'real life' (mostly ....lol)

So, my apologies again. I forget how ultra sensitive some people are and/or how innappropriate swears can be here. To me, they come across as funny, to others.....maybe just cringe-worthy and trashy.

posted March 02, 2013 06:30 PM            

I picked up on it and used to often say it too until one of my boyfriends (Libra when I was in my early 20's) told me how offensive he thought it was. I curbed it after that and thought about what a terrible thing it was to say......I'd been so used to hearing it since I was a kid though.

posted March 02, 2013 08:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
I swear more now than I ever have. I remember being surprised when the board didn't censor one word.

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posted March 02, 2013 08:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
Maybe you should elect mods from people who actually spend a lot of time in that forum - others have mentioned people who will make the time to keep track of things, but it would work best if it's people who enjoy the forum. I barely spent any time there, but appreciated being able to vent there - although I also have my own thread in Know Two, where people can completely avoid it if they want to.

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Pretty much what I was going to say. Let's not drag the drama on (not saying that to you teasel). Make new rules and get on with it. Yes!

Also, if Mods move a post, they should first make a note - post, saying they are doing so. I notice new posters don't realize why their post has been moved (they don't yet know to look at that fine print in the top left corner to see where it's gone - and they just think their post got closed once and for all.

posted March 02, 2013 09:02 PM            

I'd find some more active (and mature) Mods who arent afraid to speak up first and are capable of speaking to people respectably.

That would be one problem down.

posted March 02, 2013 09:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
....was just thinking about how I grew up with a mother that constantly screamed: "Jesus -bleeping- Christ".

I picked up on it and used to often say it too until one of my boyfriends (Libra when I was in my early 20's) told me how offensive he thought it was. I curbed it after that and thought about what a terrible thing it was to say......I'd been so used to hearing it since I was a kid though.

I'll try to hold back on swear words, because like Juni said,....editing them to make them show up on the forum is really the same as breaking the rules. I agree.

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posted March 03, 2013 04:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Xiiro:
Perhaps a Moderators Only room should be created where mod disputes can be talked out and closed threads can be moved, for Randall's review. If mods can't follow the rules, act as a role model for other members, and treat members (including other mods) in a respectful way, then we shouldn't be mods.

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Every board I ever moderated that had a long life did that and it was incredibly helpful, IMO. It helped us keep each other grounded, let us know when feelings were clouding our judgment, and plenty of advice was given between mods. It was also convenient for whoever owned the board (and fellow mods) to see the specific problems needing attention, too.

I'm surprised LL doesn't already have such a board. Another feature of this mods-only board was that only mods could see it so I'd always assumed one already existed here as well.

And btw, your entire post was brilliant, IMO.

posted March 03, 2013 07:22 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
Pretty much what I was going to say. Let's not drag the drama on (not saying that to you teasel). Make new rules and get on with it. Yes!

Also, if Mods move a post, they should first make a note - post, saying they are doing so. I notice new posters don't realize why their post has been moved (they don't yet know to look at that fine print in the top left corner to see where it's gone - and they just think their post got closed once and for all.

Mods, plz post why and where youve closed it to before closing the thread.

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Yes, I think it would feel like a censure to a new person and that person would feel he made a gaff in a new community. People are very sensitive, when they first come into a new community and they want to make a good impression.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted March 03, 2013 11:29 PM            

quote:

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teasel: Maybe you should elect mods from people who actually spend a lot of time in that forum - others have mentioned people who will make the time to keep track of things, but it would work best if it's people who enjoy the forum.

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posted March 04, 2013 03:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by somethingexcellent:
Yes. This. What's the point of having four whole mods if only one actually makes the effort to fulfil her responsibilities. Many people want it back, and many people have proposed ideas. Listen to your troupe.

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posted March 04, 2013 07:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by somethingexcellent:
Yes. This. What's the point of having four whole mods if only one actually makes the effort to fulfil her responsibilities. Many people want it back, and many people have proposed ideas. Listen to your troupe.

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tsk tsk tsk, this is what we get for being supportive and putting in some of our personal time to keep things under control?
very un-thoughtful of you. Especially since you have broken the rules before maybe we should have suggested banning you, maybe then you would consider it an "effort" on our behalf..

i don't think Randall runs a boot camp here, personally as a mod (and i haven’t been one for long- maybe 1 year) i give the posters space, let them share their thoughts as long as they don't offend anyone. as for sweet peas where i was a mod, it was more difficult to draw the lines between what is or is not acceptable.

it is very uncool to point fingers. i would never blame mods who volunteer to help around.

if this is what the members are asking for, stricter mods, then why don't we do some massive banning. yeah ban them all.. everyone who has ever derailed a topic or posted in the wrong place, spammed a forum with meaningless chitchat. massive banning for all..