posted August 14, 2013 05:50 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 14, 2013 05:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
ag,

From what you wrote there....i've a feeling I understand guys a lot better than you do. I've made plenty of male friends who are capable of having a healthy platonic relationship. Some of the best friendships of my life.

I hope you get to experience the same someday.

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I said the exact same thing. The greatest friends I have are guys and I love each and everyone them as if they were a brother. They either have girlfriends or something going on so I know they're aren't worried about being "interested or wanting more from me". If they are I would seriously punch them and laugh at them. Guys are always the ones assuming something without ever knowing the whole story. I'm not saying that all guys are like my friends and I but it feels like they're are alot more who agree

posted August 14, 2013 06:13 PM            

For me, I can make friends with a guy very easily but it takes a special woman for me to trust.

I wish it were not so, but I think the chart shows it, again, as it shows most everything imo

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 14, 2013 06:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mockingbird:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[b]Here is a video that is relevant to the discussion. Its called adam and eve in the friendzone and was done by college humor.com. While this video is meant for comedic purposes it has lots of truth and I would be willing to bet that every man in the world has been through this at some point in his life. Notice how adam seems very annoyed by how eve wants to keep it platonic but smiles anyways? You are seeing first hand how most guys feel in that situation.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHZsleyKons

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Ok, this is *my opinion*, but if a girl accepts a back rub from a guy, she is leading him on (unless he's a professional masseuse or something).

That is not "being friend zoned" - that is being strung along.

This may just be my Scorp Asc talking, but do you know who gives me back massages?
People I sleep with or people I'm paying - either the most intimate or the least.
Well, and now that my children are getting older, they like to try - so there's the categopeo

ple who used to live inside of me.

posted August 14, 2013 07:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I say all this as a guy who has seen it and experienced it all first hand. I have had female friends completely ignore all my romantic advances and act as if they didn't even hear what I said and tried to change the subject.This ticked me off and I ended my so called friendships with them.

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They were trying to tell you in the most gentle way that they just wanted to remain friends.

Why should that **** you off? Just because you were making romantic advances they had to accept them?

Why could you not have accepted that they didnt want to go there and appreciate them as people, as friends.

btw, some of the best relationships start on that solid friendship foundation.

posted August 14, 2013 07:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
He can give his opinion, just like you can. Thanks.

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posted August 14, 2013 07:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
Ami, the people who need to talk are talking.

The rest of us should not feel like we have to walk on eggshells around the ultra sensitive folk.

I think anyone who says anything, is saying something important. Whether you think they are or not. It might be just what the other person needed to hear. We are big boys and girls here and you don't need to go around telling everyone what to say and what not to or acting like you are tryinig to protect them. Or say who should hold their tounge and who should not.

Thank you.

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posted August 14, 2013 07:34 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 14, 2013 07:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
They were trying to tell you in the most gentle way that they just wanted to remain friends.

Why should that **** you off? Just because you were making romantic advances they had to accept them?

Why could you not have accepted that they didnt want to go there and appreciate them as people, as friends.

btw, some of the best relationships start on that solid friendship foundation.

Why get angry at them that they didnt want to take it to the next level? I really don't understand. That should not make them b!tches in your eyes...

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posted August 14, 2013 08:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

I disagree. I don't think the women are intentionally leading guys on when they participate in things like this, I think most of them are just naive and I say this without any meanness.I
know some of you are going to
take offense to me saying
this but you shouldn't because
i'm actually defending women
by saying they don't have any
bad intentions. I have just seen
a lot of women ignore all the
tale tell signs that a guy is into
them. I think they do this
because they unconciously
think if they avoid the feelings
and act as if they aren't there
they will disappear. My friends
mom had a guy who was "just a friend" and he came right out and said he was attracted to her and made it clear he wanted to be more than friends. Her response (and this is a woman in her 40s, not a teenage girl)? She thought it would be a good idea to continue the friendship because she thought his
attraction for her would go away after he knew she only wanted friendship. Me and my friend tried to explain to her that guys don't work that way and she would get furious and shout" We are just friends! He will understand and respect that". Long story short she continued going to his house and visited with him and he eventually ended up trying to kiss herand she was shocked! She was furious and vented to me and my friend about it and we said" told ya so!".

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I actually kind of agree with you here.
*If there are romantic feelings* from only one party, the friendship should either take a break or dissolve.
I qualify that as "feelings", not "attraction", at least as long as the parties involved have gotten to the point at which they've learned to disentangle attraction from a "need" to act upon that attraction.
If there is attraction, though, and one or both parties wishes to not pursue a romantic or sexual relationship, there should be some distance kept - ex. Probably no solitary dinners, movie watching, etc - no matter the maturity.

Hormones be tricky beasts.

Sorry most of that kinda sounds like legalese.

posted August 14, 2013 08:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by T:
[b] They were trying to tell you in the most gentle way that they just wanted to remain friends.

Why should that **** you off? Just because you were making romantic advances they had to accept them?

Why could you not have accepted that they didnt want to go there and appreciate them as people, as friends.

btw, some of the best relationships start on that solid friendship foundation.

Why get angry at them that they didnt want to take it to the next level? I really don't understand. That should not make them b!tches in your eyes...

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[/B][/QUOTE]

To me AG, your reaction is immature, you took a chance, they turned you down, rejection is a part of life.

Did one expect a sort of Shakespearan soliloquy about the perils of asking?

"Forsooth, I doth indeed enjoy Aquaguy's company, alas for some flowers bloom to late in the summer, as it is for he and me, be off to friendzone love besotted fool!!!"

posted August 14, 2013 09:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
To me AG, your reaction is immature, you took a chance, they turned you down, rejection is a part of life.

Did one expect a sort of Shakespearan soliloquy about the perils of asking?

"Forsooth, I doth indeed enjoy Aquaguy's company, alas for some flowers bloom to late in the summer, as it is for he and me, be off to friendzone love besotted fool!!!"

Come on man, would one have preferred a cackle of laughter and a "with you" response?

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posted August 14, 2013 09:10 PM            

I'm semi serious here, you do realize in life people tend to be..wait for it...polite..with one another?

One further realizes that would then mean not directly dealing with whatever rejection life causes people to dish out?

posted August 14, 2013 09:21 PM            

NOT in a "I need to please more people so I'll change" sort of way, rather if a reaction is nearly universal then a good chance..it is something internal not external that is behind things.

A sort of "all women are X, see, she's an X to" when the actual genesis is, women tend to mirror whatever vibe they are receiving.

posted August 14, 2013 09:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
I could see him being the kind of guy who would nag and nag at a girl about until she eventually does just ignore him so I'm sure there's more to the story here. We of course don't know the details

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