posted May 09, 2014 08:48 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by teasel:
I feel the same way. I hate it when I finally feel comfortable, and then I find that someone dislikes me after all. , or someone deliberately makes trouble where it hadn't existed.

I had two women be downright cruel to me, last Autumn, and before that, I had more trouble with people here, when I couldn't handle it, and hadn't even known what was going on. I keep bumping into walls socially, and I get more pissy than I ever used to, but I'm really grateful to those who are nice. With those where there is bad feeling, for whatever reason, I hope it passes. Too many things have changed for me in the past two years, though, so now I'm back to being quieter.

---

Well, at least we aren't entirely alone in our wariness. I think there is some comfort in that. I feel like most of the reason I haven't had a lot of trouble is because I am quieter than I used to be so I totally get it!

posted May 09, 2014 09:27 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MoonWitch:
I suppose that was very ironic for me to say considering I am a reincarnation believer.

---

You'll never know how Very, Very Difficult it was to type those words...

Only for the good of Laughter!

posted May 09, 2014 09:31 PM            

I had two women be downright cruel to me, last Autumn, and before that, I had more trouble with people here, when I couldn't handle it, and hadn't even known what was going on. I keep bumping into walls socially, and I get more pissy than I ever used to, but I'm really grateful to those who are nice. With those where there is bad feeling, for whatever reason, I hope it passes. Too many things have changed for me in the past two years, though, so now I'm back to being quieter.

I am not saying I do this perfectly or even well but the only way to overcome this is to be hated enough that it does not matter

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 09, 2014 09:37 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ellynlvx:
I'm really, really glad you're on here more, Teasel.

You're always cool.

---

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 09, 2014 11:07 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ellynlvx:
I'm really, really glad you're on here more, Teasel.

You're always cool.

---

posted May 09, 2014 11:27 PM            

Also, I often don't express my opinions here because I've already done so more times than I would care to count, so what is the point, if I'm arguing with someone who simply isn't capable or willing to see my side of the coin?

So I actually do ignore them (for the most part) when I read something I consider stupid or not worth my time.
If I think it's bad enough, I message Randall. He's been really supportive of my concerns, whether it's about myself or another member. I respect that, and I appreciate it very much.

I have strong beliefs.

posted May 09, 2014 11:49 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Violets:
I'm sure that there are many of us on here who would express our opinions more freely if we felt that we were free to do so without others being unpleasant and nasty. That could be from anyone, really. On any subject.

---

I agree with this. We people generally take any sort of criticism to heart, as if it invalidates us as a person, instead of viewing it as it really is: criticism of our opinions/ideas. Sometimes it's the others' fault for attacking the person instead of their ideas. I think the discussions here would be more maturely handled if this would be understood and respected.

I generally don't give my opinion in the popular threads here. I find that some people identify too much with their view point and are unable to see past that, which to me is a turn off. I get strong opinions, I have them too, but some people here do need to understand their opinions and specifically the ones based on experience are just that: THEIRS, they're not universal or absolute. They're highly subjective. To present them as undeniable truth is severely disgusting to me.

So, I avoid those people and those threads. It's an incredible time and energy saver!

posted May 10, 2014 12:17 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Violets:
I'm sure that there are many of us on here who would express our opinions more freely if we felt that we were free to do so without others being unpleasant and nasty. That could be from anyone, really. On any subject.

Also, I often don't express my opinions here because I've already done so more times than I would care to count, so what is the point, if I'm arguing with someone who simply isn't capable or willing to see my side of the coin?

So I actually do ignore them (for the most part) when I read something I consider stupid or not worth my time.
If I think it's bad enough, I message Randall. He's been really supportive of my concerns, whether it's about myself or another member. I respect that, and I appreciate it very much.

I have strong beliefs.

I may keep them to myself at times (and then not so much at other times). But they are still there.

---

I like you... In fact I'll say that I think you've practically been a role model for behavior that I've witnessed. Others too.
I actually am a very very nice guy but this place made me feel like I had to be rough around the edges to survive some of the crap that gets let go and tolerated. I said well if it's tolerated then I'll dish it because I'M not tolerating it. It's too bad.

The thing is... We hear gripes here sometimes and people give their advice on how to deal. No one should feel the need to hold back or what's the point of sweet peas? (or anywhere here) I thought that was the idea was to get your inner thoughts and problems out... Too gain support but we fight many times.

posted May 10, 2014 12:33 AM            

If only she could thank you for that.

posted May 10, 2014 12:38 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
You can't count on the masses to have good graces. There needs to be some real policing.

---

posted May 10, 2014 12:40 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
@7th Guardian

If only she could thank you for that.

---

Yeah, that was brilliant, I was in awe when I read that.

posted May 10, 2014 12:57 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
I like you... In fact I'll say that I think you've practically been a role model for behavior that I've witnessed. Others too.
I actually am a very very nice guy but this place made me feel like I had to be rough around the edges to survive some of the crap that gets let go and tolerated. I said well if it's tolerated then I'll dish it because I'M not tolerating it. It's too bad.

The thing is... We hear gripes here sometimes and people give their advice on how to deal. No one should feel the need to hold back or what's the point of sweet peas? (or anywhere here) I thought that was the idea was to get your inner thoughts and problems out... Too gain support but we fight many times.

Simply put... You can't count on the masses to have good graces. There needs to be some real policing.

---

Aw, thanks, DF.

You know that I like you and Barbie as well.

I do know that you're a nice guy, and I'm really glad that you still stop in and add to the forum.

I personally value your input, and as far as my personal experiences go, I feel that we've been able to maintain a mutual objectivity even when we disagree...and better yet, laugh at ourselves. That's what it's all about, imo.

posted May 10, 2014 03:02 AM            

But honestly.. LL seems very tame to me and everyone is well behaved overall.. by contrast to many other forums.

posted May 10, 2014 06:23 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dancing Maenad:

I find that some people identify too much with their view point and are unable to see past that, which to me is a turn off. I get strong opinions, I have them too, but some people here do need to understand their opinions and specifically the ones based on experience are just that: THEIRS, they're not universal or absolute. They're highly subjective. To present them as undeniable truth is severely disgusting to me.

So, I avoid those people and those threads. It's an incredible time and energy saver!

---

posted May 10, 2014 07:02 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
Well my ex was on a sports forum and the crap they were throwing around at each other was miles worse than anything I have ever seen on LL... Every second word was a swear word. But the majority were guys, and here the majority are female. That might explain it.
If someone on that ^ forum said they felt they needed to be rough around the edges to continue posting there - I wouldn't be surprised.

But honestly.. LL seems very tame to me and everyone is well behaved overall.. by contrast to many other forums.

I'm surprised some people are finding LL unfriendly. I mean I find the general vibe here positive and uplifting. I was hoping Barbie would stay. Her posts were fun and interesting & I love her little emoticons Maybe you could convince her to come back DP?
Personally, I don't find anything anyone said (that I've seen) to be that offensive or that serious. I think people should simply disengage with the posters they have issues with.

---

Brilliant Cappy moon

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 10, 2014 07:11 AM            

I have been on 4 Boards. The first was not moderated by moderators but the head of the board would intervene in bad fights.

The second I was on for one month because it was so stiff because you had 4 Mods per person. You could not look cross eyed at a person w/out the Mod jumping in.

The 3rd had no moderation and a disclaimer at the bottom for legal release. That Board was amazing because it was pure personal interaction.

The thing about moderation is that it is artificial. You are not gonna have moderation in your real life, so it you can't handle people being jerks, you are gonna have problems.

The Unmoderated Board was like the Wild West, no limits and no rules. However, at the root of it were still the same emotions we all have-- love, care, respect, ego.

I mean, if you could be respected on this Board, it really meant something. By the time I left, I was.

When I left, I had learned what I needed.

LL is my true home online and my only online Board, now. To me, it has the perfect moderation.

Randall's success really says it all. People may complain and people may leave, but most people come back and THAT says it all

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 10, 2014 07:54 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
Well my ex was on a sports forum and the crap they were throwing around at each other was miles worse than anything I have ever seen on LL... Every second word was a swear word. But the majority were guys, and here the majority are female. That might explain it.

---

Well, that's a sports forum. Sports involve competition; contact spots involve pushing and shoving each other. I would expect the atmosphere on that forum to duplicate actual sports.

This forum is ostensibly the opposite: it is healing-oriented, or aspires to being so:

quote:

---

In her timeless book, Gooberz, Linda shared many of her most private sad and heart-wrenching experiences--the loss of her babies, depression, thoughts of suicide, and the pain of lost Love--and in this Forum we discuss the dark times that engulf us all from time to time, including understanding the differences between men and women, depression and other psychological disorders, suicide, the loss of a child, emotional/physical/sexual abuse, bullying, and anything else of a mature nature, but no sexually explicit language is allowed; no one is too Lost to be Found...like Linda's sparkling blue and silver Rosary in the snow...just Go And Smell A Rose...or Sweet Peas In The Rain

---

It simply isn't living up to this ideal. There is too much psychic pollution, possibly because the rule here is "ignore it," and thus it accumulates. In fact, if a person wanders into this forum unawares, merely trusting the description Randall gave to it, and thinking it's a protected "healing zone," that could backfire significantly. And that really, really bothers me.

So I've tried to address the problem as clearly as I can for others' sake; I appreciate when the same is done for me.

For example, I wish Linda Jones were here right now because I would like to give her a hug of thanks, for persistently and fearlessly addressing problems. Most of the people who try that are flooded with so much cr*p they just leave the forum; I'm grateful to the ones who stick around and serve as witnesses...though they usually realize their talents will be better applied elsewhere, as challenging the status quo is so discouragingly futile here.

'Also missing Juniperb, Xiiro, T, and others who tried to bring these issues to light the same way.

posted May 10, 2014 08:11 AM            

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 10, 2014 08:14 AM            

I came back despite certain things.

Like so many things in life it was a weighing up of the pros and cons. The cons were actually very real, so I had to think real hard about if it was worth it.
In the end I decided that I was not "done" here, but I also decided to change my way of interaction with people here.
I realize that I can`t change other people`s way of behaviour, only my own. That is what I did, and only occasionally will get into discussions like these, because quite honestly, most of the time they are fruitless and ineffective.
And timeconsuming and timestealing.

Nevertheless there is a lot of good stuff here in LL as well, which is the reason I DID come back after all. And I suppose this board is not going to get rid of me that easily for quite some time to come.

Well, I have been here for 8 years, and there is definitely a good reason for this.

And LL is sort of a "model/ microcosm of the world", in that so many people with so many different cultural backgrounds and mindsets meet here. There will be clashes, naturally. And no, people are not always nice or even reasonable (in my opinion). But that is just like life is.
I find it very enlightening often to see what other people think. Even if I heartily disagree and find myself shaking my head at the "nunsense" I am reading.
BUT at the end of the day what to me feels like nunsense, for some other person is the sanest thing in the world. And before i would not even have been able to fathom how someone could honestly think that way.
So I am learning.

And I am observing, and I am making my decisions based on my observations. If I find someone to be too silly or abusive or whatever on here, I simply will not interact with them on a daily basis. Maybe now and then if I have a bad day, and get riled up despite my intentions to stay away.

But usually if I interact with you on a more personal level, it is a good indicator that I feel I can either learn something worthwhile from the interacti on, or I sense you are on my wavelength, at least to a reasonable degree.

Of course there is the odd exception.

But as Dancing Maenad said, at the end of the day, I have my opinions and convictions, which might oppose someone else`s on here. They are MY opinions and experiences, and hence form my beliefs and perspective on reality, but even though they are MY truth (at the current timeframe), they are not the UNIVERSAL truth.

Which btw is a good and easy way to get me really riled up, if someone claims to have a privilege to the universal truth and force it down other people`s throats, and effectively silence them by starting a pseudo-psychoanalysis on them.

And no, I am not only referring to Ami doing it here; others do so, too. And to me it is - sometimes at least- a disgusting way of playing passive-aggressive and downright mentally abusive.
this is of course just MY opinion, not a general truth.

But I find there is little reward in discussing this out, it just becomes a neverending circle, a mind - game, and I am really thoroughly bored of mind-games like this.

Also I wanted to say that even if I am not on everyone`s wavelength here, I know that people are just people with their own view of the world, and I accept them for who they are (to a degree at least, of course there are lines where it gets difficult to stay calm).
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just demand that mine is respected just as I accept theirs/ yours. As long as that happens, I am pretty fine on here.

I just wanted to state my opinion here, and I have done so now,s o I can step off my soapbox, and put the soap back into it, where it belongs.

posted May 10, 2014 08:21 AM            

Email it to me if you like, or just say it here, I won't mind and may have something to apologize for.

ETA: One of the reasons I found 7th's post so instructive is, it serves as a template for how to interpret longstanding issues that manifest overtly; how our own behaviors can be decoded by looking at old demons.

posted May 10, 2014 08:27 AM            

no, I truely believe you and me are very much on the same wavelength (there is never a perfect agreement, and there shouldn`t be, or there would be no room to expand and grow which would be dreadful for this Jupiter-woman here. But I think we probably share a lot of common ground when it comes to core values, which makes me think we should sometimes analyse our 2nd houses natally and synastrically. lol)

Anyway, you can be sure if there was ever a misunderstanding building or something that feels like it has to clarified, I will do so.
But even though it may sound harsh and dismissive on here, THAT is a privilege of people I consider friends, cause I would regret having to walk away from the interaction.
In most cases on a public forum,w hen I donīt know the people closely, it just doesn`t seem worth the effort.

So in a way if I express vehement disagreement with you (though I would probably do it in a private email, if it can`t get cleared up like we did on the other thread yesterday), it is just a sign that I value you and your opinion very much.

In most cases I will simply just walk away, after having given my statements/opinions.

EDIT:
It also means that noone should ever misinterprete my silence as agreement with something. Most of the time it is just.... silence.

If asked directly for my opinion, I will give it directly (though trying to not be hurtful of course) and honestly.
Sometimes that might be the reason I am not really asked about my opinions (though I think in most cases people don`t actually care about my opinion )

posted May 10, 2014 08:32 AM            

I know I can come across as obnoxious if I don't pay close attention to how I phrase things (3H Pluto trine 11H Gemini Mars and nitpicky 6H Aquarius Mercury, OMG) and sometimes I do fail in that, and need to apologize.

And thanks for forgiving me (yes? ) for taking so long to reply to your last email, I've been thinking of you but keep getting pulled over here in my spare time.

Wishing you Jupiter-sized happiness, as usual!