posted May 27, 2014 02:21 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MoonWitch:
Or you could just be yourself

---

posted May 27, 2014 02:27 PM            

I know we are all influenced by our upbringing and society in general but ultimately we are responsible for ourselves. If you want to be yourself then work on deprogramming yourself from the things you don't like. It's an ongoing process but it has to be a conscious one. We are all works in progress.... hopefully.

posted May 27, 2014 02:34 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
[b]How has that been working for you?

He is here trying to grow, change and make sense out of his life. Unless you are perfect, snarkiness shows you up, not him.

[/B]

---

posted May 27, 2014 02:54 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ariestaurus:
How has that been working for you?

---

posted May 27, 2014 03:16 PM            

I admit it's something I have to work at but it does get easier and easier. I've been hurt by men all my life. Sexual abuse as a child. Watching my mother being beaten. Being threatened with death on a regular basis when I was a child. Then every man I've ever been with has cheated on me (until my current husband). That's probably partly my fault for making bad choices in men due to my upbringing but it's also their fault and it's been a difficult journey.

When my husband and I started dating it was very hard for me to be trusting. I thought he was too good for me, maybe too perfect, and the urge to spy on him or dig through his stuff was almost unbearable because I knew he had to be cheating on me or something - that's what always happened in my experience. He didn't deserve those types of thoughts from me.

Not all men are bad, of course, how could they be?! They are just people and people are flawed. There are good people of both sexes and there are a-holes of both sexes. Some things about being a women really suck and some things about being a man really suck. Conversely, sometimes being what you happen to be born as is awesome.

I *DO* really hope for a day when people are just people. When I can look at the comments of a news story and not see people bashing the size of some woman's butt, people bashing a female politician's looks instead of her policies, people bashing a stay at home dad that decides to stay home with his kids, people bashing a traditional guy that wants a traditional girl, people bashing the untraditional couple with tattoos, etc. Ugh! It never ends! Almost like you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

I think I'm rambling. I'm off to the beach for my last day of the long weekend.

posted May 27, 2014 03:27 PM            

That's cool. I am sorry if I was wrong

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 27, 2014 06:04 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by AqMoon:
I just want to put my own two cents in on this thread topic,first off i think it's disgusting as a man myself to see so many other men who do have this kind of mentality.
I feel ashamed of men who feel entitled to sex,and dislike that and i'm not saying that everyone but some people will place the few men who are good and honest men who actually have respect for women into the same kind of category.

It's nasty to me when these men with these kinds of thoughts.

Think that they can...1)Even think that in this life,in this world that they deserve anything especially deserve a woman to spread her legs wide eagle because he feels he is entitled to the pleasures of sex.That is abusing women without even actually causing any harm to an actual real life woman in a physical or emotional way.

The man already has the idea planted in his head to abuse a woman through sex,that's wrong.

2)It's one thing to be friends with a woman, it doesn't mean you can ask for sex and no man has any right to that.

3)I don't agree with that bs about men were born to have sex,so it's alright because it's what men are for.Men are more than just a good lay,i can't stand this idea that men=sex
why? Because we have a pointer that's like saying a woman can have kids and if she doesn't she is not doing what she was programmed to do.That is an insult to me as a man,that all i'm programmed to do with my body is lay everything in sight.It's also an insult to every other guy,the ones who raise a family,the ones who work hard,the ones who adore and love they're wife family dog mother mother in law who ever else.It's also an insult to women because it's like saying the only purpose a woman has is to be screwed with by a man.

4)I think the only way this kind of mentality would apply to any man is if he was the kind of man who didn't have a strong father figure,a man who is full of himself and a man who just doesn't/didn't ever learn the concept of discipline.Urges are urges but because we fee them does not mean we have to give in,although a lot of people say that if you don't act on it you'll likely become repressed or resent yourself or women.

5)While i don't think the internet birthed this kind of mentality,i will admit that the media the movies internet and all of these thing's have contributed and spawned new ways of gaining sexual gratification for some of these men.I think they have progressed the idea of what sex means to some men,it's drawn a new line for some of these men out there and they've crossed it because in they're minds they think it's what's right.While the rest of us shake our heads and think huh?

It really just does depend on the kind of personality a guy has,if he blows hot smoke or needs the constant ego strokes then don't be surprised if this is the kind of man that feels the need to want more stroking.

---

Ty for sharing.

I point out there are guys like you but some men who are much less honorable or mature will call men like you names like "mangina."

I'm friends with a great many men who aren't humping my leg or anyone else's. Men who I know I can go to for help if I need it and he'll help me as he would any male friend (that is not expecting me to be his toy or whatever after), because I'm a real person to him, not a, how should one say it, "cockpit." Of course I'll do favors for him as well, just like any other friend who isn't female (as being female is irrelevant) would.

I have long thought that the idea that men can't control themselves and such a slave to their hormones would be insulting to me if I were a guy, and though I'm not a guy I've known enough to see that many men are much more complex, and interesting, than that. If I bought into "all men are like that" (and more importantly, that a 14-year-old girl is responsible for the say several adult men banging her, which I've seen asserted on LL, btw) then I would push that all men have their rights revoked and be the children they act like in the eyes of the law (which means no voting, let alone political office, among many other things). But I know men in general are better than that. And I've asked guys who won my trust about it and they say they find the implications insulting as well, whether it's a woman who makes universal judgments about all men or about the men who inspired such judgments in women (and many of them will stand up to such men, or at least help a woman avoid their obnoxious attention).

posted May 27, 2014 07:40 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
Ty for sharing.

I point out there are guys like you but some men who are much less honorable or mature will call men like you names like "mangina."

I'm friends with a great many men who aren't humping my leg or anyone else's. Men who I know I can go to for help if I need it and he'll help me as he would any male friend (that is not expecting me to be his toy or whatever after), because I'm a real person to him, not a, how should one say it, "cockpit." Of course I'll do favors for him as well, just like any other friend who isn't female (as being female is irrelevant) would.

I have long thought that the idea that men can't control themselves and such a slave to their hormones would be insulting to me if I were a guy, and though I'm not a guy I've known enough to see that many men are much more complex, and interesting, than that. If I bought into "all men are like that" (and more importantly, that a 14-year-old girl is responsible for the say several adult men banging her, which I've seen asserted on LL, btw) then I would push that all men have their rights revoked and be the children they act like in the eyes of the law (which means no voting, let alone political office, among many other things). But I know men in general are better than that. And I've asked guys who won my trust about it and they say they find the implications insulting as well, whether it's a woman who makes universal judgments about all men or about the men who inspired such judgments in women (and many of them will stand up to such men, or at least help a woman avoid their obnoxious attention).

Going back to the nice guy thing, I've known nice guys and most of them have no special problem being with women (and they don't care that some women go for the bad boys as those women don't attract them), and much more importantly not a single one of them ever talked about what a nice guy he was.

---

"Mangina" CTFU and you know PJ i would gladly accept that title and write it on my forehead for everyone to see.I don't care if i'm considered a good guy or a bad guy by society ,i value what i think about myself it's much more productive and in the end i could give an endless amount of bear s**t what every other man/guy decides he wants to be for himself.

but!

When it starts to stink...then i'll point out that they wreak,i still can't decide if there is a lack of informing people of they're nonsense or if there is too much and people are just getting lost in what they think is right because everyone else is telling them how to act.

posted May 27, 2014 08:17 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ariestaurus:
The divide between male vs female in college is, on average, 43% to 56%, respectively. So, the ratio is 1.3 women to 1 man in college. how does that explain the 2 to 1 ratio between female shooting victims vs. males shooting victims? You're probably going to say the stats are faulty, now, though.

Also, this is from the FBI (fbi.gov) report on college violence (including murder, assault, sexual violence):

"Efforts were made to gather information regarding the subjects who carried out the attacks. The majority of incidents were perpetrated by one individual (n = 270) and, of those, most of the subjects were male (94 percent, n = 254).31 In the incidents where age was reported (n = 260), the range was 16 to 62, with an average age of 28 (Mdn = 25, mode = 20). "

Table 7: Factors that Motivated or Triggered the Directed Assaults

Related to an Intimate Relationship 77 33.9
Retaliation for Specific Action(s) 31 13.7
Refused Advances or Obsession with the Target 23 10.1
Response to Academic Stress/Failure 23 10.1
Acquaintance/Stranger Based Sexual Violence 22 9.7
Psychotic Actions 18 7.9
Workplace Dismissal/Sanction 14 6.2
Need to Kill / Specific Victimology 7 3.1
Draw Attention to Self/Issue(s) 7 3.1
Bias Related 5 2.2
Total 227 100

I know the table didn't carry over properly, but it's a list of reasons for why college violence takes place. "related to an intimate relationship" (the top reason- the driving factor behind a third of the violent assaults), "Refused Advances or Obsession with the Target", and "Acquaintance/Stranger Based Sexual Violence" make up more than 50% of the factors that triggered the violence.

---

The problem with such stats of general populations is it does not take into account whether the violence happened at night or during the day and what the mix was at that time.

For example the overall mix can 56%/43% overall, when the spree murders happen, during the day the on the campus mix can be far different.

And does it speak of actual violence on campus, or violence among college students on campus itself?

Here we go:

quote:

---

t may initially seem as though only incidents occurring on-campus are relevant to understanding targeted violence that affects IHEs. However, such a view neglects the role of campus safety departments and campus threat assessment teams in securing the area surrounding the campus and assessing the threats posed by and to IHE students, faculty, and staff, regardless of whether the ultimate act of violence occurs within the confines of the campus boundaries. Thus, the current project aimed to identify incidents that could fall within the purview of a campus threat assessment. A majority of the incidents occurred on-campus (79 percent, n = 214), while approximately one-fifth (19 percent, n = 52) were off-campus. The remaining six incidents occurred either at non-campus30 locations (1 percent, n = 3) or at undetermined sites (1 percent, n = 3).

Of those incidents that occurred at on-campus or non-campus sites (n = 217), similar numbers of incidents took place in residential buildings (28 percent, n = 60), parking lots or campus grounds (27 percent, n = 58), and administrative and/or academic buildings such as offices, classrooms, Table 4: On and Non-campus Directed Assaults, laboratories (26 percent, n = 56; see Table

---

posted May 27, 2014 08:22 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
And that when AG generalizes like that, women here get up in arms. Fairness should be imparted on both genders.

---

posted May 27, 2014 08:34 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ariestaurus:
I think what happens is:

Romantically frustrated guy tries to get help from PUA site, fails, gets mad at PUA site. Again, blaming others for his own failures. Nothing is "his" fault; he called himself a "god", the "perfect" guy, after all.

---

My take as well, could not imagine what a conversation would sound like if he went out on a date.

As for your data, the most surprising thing for me is the median age of assailants, 28yrs old.

As for aG, I'm heartened to hear it is a process for him, thing is there will be failures along the way especially if one takes short cuts as Metal Aphrodite was mentioning about her overly amorous date.

posted May 27, 2014 09:05 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Oh and another thing. I have noticed that my critics/haters on here always conveniently take my words completely out of context. I used to be certain that this was a trolling tactic designed to make me angry but the more I think about it I see it in a completely new light. I think they read my posts with their own anti-male biases and fill in the blanks.

---

Yes, I think this, too. It is a dueling of the biases.

I have a song for that

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 27, 2014 09:05 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Padre35:
Basically the majority of incidents were on campus, or in the parking lot and assailant and victims knew each other

---

Ok I have no prob with this fact ^^ the table I posted implied that the perp and victim knew each other.

I think your day vs. night mix argument is grasping at straws lol. Regardless, it doesn't take anything away from my point.

posted May 27, 2014 09:06 PM            

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 27, 2014 09:09 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ariestaurus:
Ok I have no prob with this fact ^^ the table I posted implied that the perp and victim knew each other.

I think your day vs. night mix argument is grasping at straws lol. Regardless, it doesn't take anything away from my point.

You must be a Sag.

---

Saggie indeed! Jus the facts Ms!

I say that based on my college exp, day classes I attended were easily 60-40 female to male, sometimes even higher.

posted May 27, 2014 09:18 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Padre35:
Saggie indeed! Jus the facts Ms!

I say that based on my college exp, day classes I attended were easily 60-40 female to male, sometimes even higher.

Night classes were 90% male

---

Really? My university was pretty mixed in regards to day vs night classes. I see the men v women split more when I look at majors

posted May 27, 2014 09:26 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ariestaurus:
Really? My university was pretty mixed in regards to day vs night classes. I see the men v women split more when I look at majors

Lol I'm a sag too. As are my mom and sis. I can spot one from a mile away

---

My cover it iz blown!

That is one of the issues w/bulk stats, they lack texture, Day v Night/Engaged/Married/None of the Above etc

posted May 27, 2014 09:33 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Padre35:
Saggie indeed! Jus the facts Ms!

I say that based on my college exp, day classes I attended were easily 60-40 female to male, sometimes even higher.

Night classes were 90% male

---

posted May 27, 2014 10:24 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
All I'm saying is that the title is a generalization implying that all men feel entitled to sex, which is not the case.

---

Entitlement and expectation are different. Entitlement means, "I'm awesome, I deserve that." Expectation is more like, "It's just the normal course of events...we date, therefore we have sex."

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
And that when AG generalizes like that, women here get up in arms. Fairness should be imparted on both genders.

---

LOL you have never cared how much AG trounces women, so I guess it's up to you to start caring.

And seriously, where is the man-bashing in this forum? This thread has some negativity, but that's not typical.

posted May 27, 2014 10:28 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
It is kind of hypocritical, is it not? Funny thing is a considerable number of the women here have expressed they are paranoid about being sexually harassed/assaulted and admit that they see all men as potential rapists.

---

Still waiting for you to supply links to back that assertion.

Is this the thread where you say that Lonake, Platero and I were talking like that?
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum25/HTML/003394-4.html

a) I didn't reply on that thread
b) Lonake and Platero are gone
c) You yourself said that women ought to take precautions around men they don't know. Which is pretty much the consensus amongst smart people. Yet you think it's some kind of outrage for women to openly discuss taking precautions.

posted May 27, 2014 10:37 PM            

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 27, 2014 10:39 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
Ty for sharing.

I point out there are guys like you but some men who are much less honorable or mature will call men like you names like "mangina."

I'm friends with a great many men who aren't humping my leg or anyone else's. Men who I know I can go to for help if I need it and he'll help me as he would any male friend (that is not expecting me to be his toy or whatever after), because I'm a real person to him, not a, how should one say it, "cockpit." Of course I'll do favors for him as well, just like any other friend who isn't female (as being female is irrelevant) would.

I have long thought that the idea that men can't control themselves and such a slave to their hormones would be insulting to me if I were a guy, and though I'm not a guy I've known enough to see that many men are much more complex, and interesting, than that. If I bought into "all men are like that" (and more importantly, that a 14-year-old girl is responsible for the say several adult men banging her, which I've seen asserted on LL, btw) then I would push that all men have their rights revoked and be the children they act like in the eyes of the law (which means no voting, let alone political office, among many other things). But I know men in general are better than that. And I've asked guys who won my trust about it and they say they find the implications insulting as well, whether it's a woman who makes universal judgments about all men or about the men who inspired such judgments in women (and many of them will stand up to such men, or at least help a woman avoid their obnoxious attention).

Going back to the nice guy thing, I've known nice guys and most of them have no special problem being with women (and they don't care that some women go for the bad boys as those women don't attract them), and much more importantly not a single one of them ever talked about what a nice guy he was.

---

AWESOME POST!