posted May 28, 2014 10:28 AM            

AG you overthink things way too much. Plus, you act like you know what women want, but you don't. If you did, you wouldn't have a problem getting women.

posted May 28, 2014 10:30 AM            

Mean and nasty comments won't help someone see his/her blind spots.

It takes love and it take acceptance of where the person is BEFORE he/she can change.

I know that cuz I was given love on here by the few special people who loved me when there was little to love.

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 28, 2014 11:07 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Randall:
[b]People often equate being a nice guy with being a pushover, and since some women will date a pushover but aren't necessarily attracted to that type, they might end up with a jerk instead. The aversion to spineless yes men is so strong that some women will choose the opposite, and that can sometimes be a worse choice in many ways. But nice guy doesn't have to equate with spineless. There can be a happy medium. MoonWitch found hers. I guess what I'm saying is that it doesn't have to be either/or. There are plenty of nice guys with an edge out there--men who are decent and respectful, while also being strong and protective.

---

Lol I think Kero summed it up nicely but I'll go ahead and take the bait. I'm a feminist but don't hate nice men, in fact I'm dating a nice man right now. More importantly we treat each other as equals, none of this gender reinforcement and stereotypes have ever come to play.

I'm also a member of a graduate women's club, which is inclusive to males as we have many male members, and many of the things we have done include charity work for teaching young girls and boys the importance of seeing each other as equals and simply people. We do discuss feminism, but in a more social justice perspective.

Last time I checked feminism didnt influence a mass shooting, but antiPUA/MRA did, feminism sure as hell isn't linked to violence/anger. For the record, men aren't 6 times more likely than women to commit suicide, it is only 4. Not to mention women actually attempt suicide more, but more often live compared to men. I'm actually impressed you dropped a statistic for once, but at least make sure it's accurate.

posted May 28, 2014 11:09 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
People often equate being a nice guy with being a pushover, and since some women will date a pushover but aren't necessarily attracted to that type, they might end up with a jerk instead. The aversion to spineless yes men is so strong that some women will choose the opposite, and that can sometimes be a worse choice in many ways. But nice guy doesn't have to equate with spineless. There can be a happy medium. MoonWitch found hers. I guess what I'm saying is that it doesn't have to be either/or. There are plenty of nice guys with an edge out there--men who are decent and respectful, while also being strong and protective.

---

posted May 28, 2014 11:23 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Ya'll clearly didn't read my post. If you had read it you would know that I listened to what women said they wanted and what the feminized society we live in said they wanted and it got me nowhere,and its been the same for countless other guys. I listened to my mom instead of watching and learning from my dad, who was a ladies man, which was what I should have been doing! I remember how my mom used to criticize my dad and say "you are sick Jerry!" Because he was very sexually forward and even crude... And It kind of messed up my sexual confidence for years and I thought it was wrong to be that way. But ya know what? I am starting to realize how everything I was taught about women was a lie. I was taught to think that guys like my dad were undesirable. Why did I believe this when evidence to the contrary was right before my eyes? Because I believed women! But now I realize how confused most of them are. The fact of the matter is my dad was very sexually and romantically successful. He has slept with countless women and has been married twice (he is now in his second marriage) and has two kids to his name (my brother and I). All the evidence suggests that my ole dad was doing something right in regards to women. And I'm starting to figure out why that is. The answer is really simple.... He did not take what women said to him seriously at all.. When my mom would belittle him and criticize him he would just grin like a possum and laugh. He didn't let what they said get to him and he was very confident as a result.. I am nowhere near that mindset yet.. But I'm getting there.. And the healing process started when I stopped taking what women say seriously. I have improved in that regard from being on this forum. So you have helped me, just not in the way you tried to help me.

---

Depends AG, is your life mission to sleep with a lot of women, be married twice and have a mixed relationship with any children you may have in those marriages.

This is where things tend to fall apart, sex for just the sake of having sex is personally gratifying..at first.

However as a life's work, a bit vapid and ultimately winds up being as counter productive to advancing in life as not having much to no sex at all.

If the Disney Tale is laughable, so is the "travel the world hooking up" fantasy.

posted May 28, 2014 11:24 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Ya'll clearly didn't read my post. If you had read it you would know that I listened to what women said they wanted and what the feminized society we live in said they wanted and it got me nowhere,and its been the same for countless other guys. I listened to my mom instead of watching and learning from my dad, who was a ladies man, which was what I should have been doing! I remember how my mom used to criticize my dad and say "you are sick Jerry!" Because he was very sexually forward and even crude... And It kind of messed up my sexual confidence for years and I thought it was wrong to be that way. But ya know what? I am starting to realize how everything I was taught about women was a lie. I was taught to think that guys like my dad were undesirable. Why did I believe this when evidence to the contrary was right before my eyes? Because I believed women! But now I realize how confused most of them are. The fact of the matter is my dad was very sexually and romantically successful. He has slept with countless women and has been married twice (he is now in his second marriage) and has two kids to his name (my brother and I). All the evidence suggests that my ole dad was doing something right in regards to women. And I'm starting to figure out why that is. The answer is really simple.... He did not take what women said to him seriously at all.. When my mom would belittle him and criticize him he would just grin like a possum and laugh. He didn't let what they said get to him and he was very confident as a result.. I am nowhere near that mindset yet.. But I'm getting there.. And the healing process started when I stopped taking what women say seriously. I have improved in that regard from being on this forum. So you have helped me, just not in the way you tried to help me.

---

Just stop listening to what others 'want'. In my experience, people don't even know what they want. Just be yourself. Your dad was confident- he didn't give a rat's ass what people said. He was himself at all times, and didn't apologize for it. And it worked.

posted May 28, 2014 11:25 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by BellaFenice:
Lol I think Kero summed it up nicely but I'll go ahead and take the bait. I'm a feminist but don't hate nice men, in fact I'm dating a nice man right now. More importantly we treat each other as equals, none of this gender reinforcement and stereotypes have ever come to play.

I'm also a member of a graduate women's club, which is inclusive to males as we have many male members, and many of the things we have done include charity work for teaching young girls and boys the importance of seeing each other as equals and simply people. We do discuss feminism, but in a more social justice perspective.

Last time I checked feminism didnt influence a mass shooting, but antiPUA/MRA did, feminism sure as hell isn't linked to violence/anger. For the record, men aren't 6 times more likely than women to commit suicide, it is only 4. Not to mention women actually attempt suicide more, but more often live compared to men. I'm actually impressed you dropped a statistic for once, but at least make sure it's accurate.

That's all I got - the cow is in the middle of the road and telling it move isn't going to work.

---

posted May 28, 2014 11:28 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ariestaurus:

I'm going to ignore your other psychobabble because you're too stubborn to see anyone's point but your own. Honey, you really need to pull it together. I don't personally know any man who is as obsessed with this stuff as you are. Like, literally every. single. post.

---

posted May 28, 2014 11:30 AM            

YES YES YES

This is what I have been trying to tell you. This is one way I healed on here from seeing all the worthless, cheap talk from people who called themselves"spiritual" and were some of the nastiest people you could imagine. Talk is CHEAP. Watch actions and watch the world and trust your own eyes.

Now, to Randall's point, you can be a cool guy and not a womanizer and a user of women. These bad boys get women but don't end up in good relationships. Their lives have dregs of garbage behind them.

So, the end game is to be a cool guy but a guy with values and morals, like Randall

------------------
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posted May 28, 2014 11:32 AM            

I knew if you came on here enough with your story, you would heal. You would learn as much or more from the nasty comments and the hatred as you would from the love. That is why a good Forum should never be sanitized. I think you are on your way, as I was, with my mother. My first step was the same as your process on here. Bravo to you, Friend.

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 28, 2014 11:34 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
KarkaQueen, there are way more than a few people here who are fans of Ami, so you are in good company...people of the highest character, like lalalinda, Odette, and Violets, just to name a few. Not everyone will get along. Such is Forum life, which is an unfocused yet parallel (if sometimes distorted) reflection of real life. And that's okay.

---

Oh shucks, my character must stink then.
Thanks.

posted May 28, 2014 11:35 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
[b] And the healing process started when I stopped taking what women say seriously. I have improved in that regard from being on this forum. So you have helped me, just not in the way you tried to help me.

YES YES YES

This is what I have been trying to tell you. This is one way I healed on here from seeing all the worthless, cheap talk from people who called themselves"spiritual" and were some of the nastiest people you could imagine. Talk is CHEAP. Watch actions and watch the world and trust your own eyes.

Now, to Randall's point, you can be a cool guy and not a womanizer and a user of women. These bad boys get women but don't end up in good relationships. Their lives have dregs of garbage behind them.

So, the end game is to be a cool guy but a guy with values and morals, like Randall

[/B]

---

posted May 28, 2014 11:53 AM            

YOU WILL

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 28, 2014 11:55 AM            

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 28, 2014 12:30 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
KarkaQueen, there are way more than a few people here who are fans of Ami, so you are in good company...people of the highest character, like lalalinda, Odette, and Violets, just to name a few. Not everyone will get along. Such is Forum life, which is an unfocused yet parallel (if sometimes distorted) reflection of real life. And that's okay.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by charmainec:
Oh shucks, my character must stink then.
Thanks.

---

posted May 28, 2014 01:06 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:

Oh feminism does inspire anger... Alot of them are the most angry bunch of hags you could ever meet. I have seen how underhanded and passive aggressive they can be... Case and point: some feminists went to great lengths to publicly humiliate a group of men who I know from another forum. They tracked down their facebook pages and other social network accounts, posted their pics, where they live, and blatant lies on a website they had set up to shame them! How pathetic and underhanded is that? On the shaming page they set up for one guy they told lies that were beyond absurd, they stated that he is a pedophile and is serving a prison sentence for trying to kidnap and rape a 13 year old girl.. Guess what? I talk to that guy on a regular basis! He runs several websites and is working on another website. He is a successful programmer by profession and is married to a former model he met in Mexico. So dont try to tell me feminists are innocent and cuddly.. Often times they are ruthless and do whatever it takes to humiliate and discredit those who disagree with them.

---

So you're basically saying that feminism causes anger enough for someone to go out and kill people right? You're saying that this is justifiable?

You don't even know this man behind a computer screen, come one son. You REALLY believe a real man of supposedly such a "high caliber" with a "model" wife would spend his precious time on such a low life site? Please. I bet you did a thorough background check on him too to make sure of his innocence huh?

This is disgusting. I can't even fix my mind as to how this^ behavior is acceptable in this forum and yet the people who share opposite views are apparently the "bad/judgemental/non-understanding/projecting" ones. AND the one moment someone fixes their fingers to make a thread about how they disagree with AG, a thread is closed but as soon as AG makes a thread it remains open way beyond it's due date because he's "letting out his feelings" and "healing himself". I can't even be bothered to go into detail as to how I feel about Ami and her "thou shalt not judge" behavior like she hasn't been doing the very opposite in each of her posts towards other members.

posted May 28, 2014 01:15 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
People often equate being a nice guy with being a pushover, and since some women will date a pushover but aren't necessarily attracted to that type, they might end up with a jerk instead. The aversion to spineless yes men is so strong that some women will choose the opposite, and that can sometimes be a worse choice in many ways. But nice guy doesn't have to equate with spineless. There can be a happy medium. MoonWitch found hers. I guess what I'm saying is that it doesn't have to be either/or. There are plenty of nice guys with an edge out there--men who are decent and respectful, while also being strong and protective.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I think the problem is a lot of us were socialized to be nice guys, and alot of women aren't typically attracted to that type so they end up choosing jerks because they possess qualities that are attractive to women, they just express them in negative ways..
Take me for example..... I was definitely socialized to be a nice guy and treat women as my equal. When I used to ask girls on dates I would always ask for their input on where we should go.. And most of the time they would flake out on me because of that. Now I didn't realize why they were doing it at the time but I started to figure it out after it happened countless times. Women want a man who is atleast a little bit dominant and bossy and makes plans without consulting her.
I think that feminists hate nice guys because they are living proof that feminism has failed women and men in alot of ways. The hatred that feminists have for nice guys is completely irrational because they are partly responsible for nice guys. This is because nice guys listened to the feminist ideas that they learned at home and in society at large. They took all the stuff about treating women as equals and men being too sexually forward and internalized it and approached women and relationships with those things in mind. And they failed... Again.. And again.. And of course they were angry, frustrated,and confused.

---

I think this idea that women don't like nice guys and aren't attracted to them is not only wrong but also dangerous because it brings a misunderstanding among men, ie "nice men" where they feel women are not grateful and stupid and will only go for the men who treat them badly, thus feeding the hate of women by such men, who feel that they deserve women more than their jerks counterparts but because women decided otherwise, don't.
Now let me explain why this idea is wrong. The laws of attraction are much more complex than "you're nice, which is why I like you" and "you're mean so I I don't like you". It is not that simple. Psychology explains that people are usually attracted to partners that will help them resolve whatever conflicts they had with their parents. And I have found this to be true most of the time. A lot of articles have been made on this subject and even on the "attachment style". See, women and people in general who are attracted to partners who treat them badly usually do so because they had a difficult relationships with one of their parents and are subconsciously looking for a way to face those issues and solve them this time.
Now I won't deny that women are generally attracted to men who know how to take the lead because it is seen as masculine the same way men are attracted to caring and vulnerable women because it is perceived as feminine. But being masculine is different from being mean. Somehow this whole "poor nice guys" theory feeds the idea that if you're nice then you're less than a man when there are plenty of men that are respectful, devoted and yet masculine. Being nice doesn't equate to being a doormat . You can be strong ,have self-respect, know where you stand, all the while respecting others and caring for them.

Now I don't know what feminism has to do with it. I believe the issue, at the scale of society, certainly lies in the impact of the porn industry and the pressure put on men to prove their masculinity through the number of women they sleep with.

posted May 28, 2014 01:22 PM            

As a description, "nice guy" is used both positively and negatively.

When used positively, and particularly when used as a self-descriptor, it is intended to imply a male who puts the needs of others before his own, avoids confrontations, does favors, gives emotional support, tries to stay out of trouble, and generally acts nicely towards others.In the context of a relationship, it may also refer to traits of honesty, loyalty, romanticism, courtesy and respect.

THAT'S IT! That's all there is to it "in positive terms." If you're a nice guy... if you're really/truthfully a nice guy - you behave like that just for the sake of being a nice guy... since - "you're getting satisfaction out of it". It's a nice feeling... to witness the gratitude of another - after doing something nice out of the blue (surprising them with something - like bringing them coffee and boggles - while they're busy at work) - just for the sake of doing a nice gesture. They're both surprised and grateful - and their gratitude is more than enough of a reward, as it fills your heart with joy.

On the other hand....

When used in a negative context (sometimes capitalized), a "Nice Guy" implies a male who is unassertive, does not express his true feelings and uses acts of ostensible friendship with the unstated aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship.[citation needed] The term is often used in the context of dating and romantic or sexual relationships with women.

Yeah... those who pretend to be a nice guy - while having some kind of expectations... if they feel like the other person "owes them something for being nice" - then they're not nice guys to begging with... they're just a fake - and behaves in such way while hopping to get something out it (like sex).

Real nice guys - never praised themselves as being nice guys. They're usually praised by others (like those with whom they've been nice - thus, they come even as a recommendation depending on their line of work). From the people i know/knew - all nice guys who were interested in a long term relationship "are now in a relationship" - some even married with a kid of their own.

posted May 28, 2014 01:27 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chiemi:
So you're basically saying that feminism causes anger enough for someone to go out and kill people right? You're saying that this is justifiable?

You don't even know this man behind a computer screen, come one son. You REALLY believe a real man of supposedly such a "high caliber" with a "model" wife would spend his precious time on such a low life site? Please. I bet you did a thorough background check on him too to make sure of his innocence huh?

This is disgusting. I can't even fix my mind as to how this^ behavior is acceptable in this forum and yet the people who share opposite views are apparently the "bad/judgemental/non-understanding/projecting" ones. AND the one moment someone fixes their fingers to make a thread about how they disagree with AG, a thread is closed but as soon as AG makes a thread it remains open way beyond it's due date because he's "letting out his feelings" and "healing himself". I can't even be bothered to go into detail as to how I feel about Ami and her "thou shalt not judge" behavior like she hasn't been doing the very opposite in each of her posts towards other members.

---

posted May 28, 2014 01:27 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chiemi:
So you're basically saying that feminism causes anger enough for someone to go out and kill people right? You're saying that this is justifiable?

You don't even know this man behind a computer screen, come one son. You REALLY believe a real man of supposedly such a "high caliber" with a "model" wife would spend his precious time on such a low life site? Please. I bet you did a thorough background check on him too to make sure of his innocence huh?

This is disgusting. I can't even fix my mind as to how this^ behavior is acceptable in this forum and yet the people who share opposite views are apparently the "bad/judgemental/non-understanding/projecting" ones. AND the one moment someone fixes their fingers to make a thread about how they disagree with AG, a thread is closed but as soon as AG makes a thread it remains open way beyond it's due date because he's "letting out his feelings" and "healing himself". I can't even be bothered to go into detail as to how I feel about Ami and her "thou shalt not judge" behavior like she hasn't been doing the very opposite in each of her posts towards other members.

---

posted May 28, 2014 01:35 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by 7thGuardian:
I've said this before, as in - "nice guy" is a term that can be used both with "positive" and "negative" connotations:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_guy

As a description, "nice guy" is used both positively and negatively.

[b]When used positively, and particularly when used as a self-descriptor, it is intended to imply a male who puts the needs of others before his own, avoids confrontations, does favors, gives emotional support, tries to stay out of trouble, and generally acts nicely towards others.In the context of a relationship, it may also refer to traits of honesty, loyalty, romanticism, courtesy and respect.

THAT'S IT! That's all there is to it "in positive terms." If you're a nice guy... if you're really/truthfully a nice guy - you behave like that just for the sake of being a nice guy... since - "you're getting satisfaction out of it". It's a nice feeling... to witness the gratitude of another - after doing something nice out of the blue (surprising them with something - like bringing them coffee and boggles - while they're busy at work) - just for the sake of doing a nice gesture. They're both surprised and grateful - and their gratitude is more than enough of a reward, as it fills your heart with joy.

On the other hand....

When used in a negative context (sometimes capitalized), a "Nice Guy" implies a male who is unassertive, does not express his true feelings and uses acts of ostensible friendship with the unstated aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship.[citation needed] The term is often used in the context of dating and romantic or sexual relationships with women.

Yeah... those who pretend to be a nice guy - while having some kind of expectations... if they feel like the other person "owes them something for being nice" - then they're not nice guys to begging with... they're just a fake - and behaves in such way while hopping to get something out it (like sex).

Real nice guys - never praised themselves as being nice guys. They're usually praised by others (like those with whom they've been nice - thus, they come even as a recommendation depending on their line of work). From the people i know/knew - all nice guys who were interested in a long term relationship "are now in a relationship" - some even married with a kid of their own.

[/B]

---

posted May 28, 2014 01:39 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chiemi:
So you're basically saying that feminism causes anger enough for someone to go out and kill people right? You're saying that this is justifiable?

You don't even know this man behind a computer screen, come one son. You REALLY believe a real man of supposedly such a "high caliber" with a "model" wife would spend his precious time on such a low life site? Please. I bet you did a thorough background check on him too to make sure of his innocence huh?

This is disgusting. I can't even fix my mind as to how this^ behavior is acceptable in this forum and yet the people who share opposite views are apparently the "bad/judgemental/non-understanding/projecting" ones. AND the one moment someone fixes their fingers to make a thread about how they disagree with AG, a thread is closed but as soon as AG makes a thread it remains open way beyond it's due date because he's "letting out his feelings" and "healing himself". I can't even be bothered to go into detail as to how I feel about Ami and her "thou shalt not judge" behavior like she hasn't been doing the very opposite in each of her posts towards other members.

---

posted May 28, 2014 01:40 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ueharaa:
I think this idea that women don't like nice guys and aren't attracted to them is not only wrong but also dangerous because it brings a misunderstanding among men, ie "nice men" where they feel women are not grateful and stupid and will only go for the men who treat them badly, thus feeding the hate of women by such men, who feel that they deserve women more than their jerks counterparts but because women decided otherwise, don't.
Now let me explain why this idea is wrong. The laws of attraction are much more complex than "you're nice, which is why I like you" and "you're mean so I I don't like you". It is not that simple. Psychology explains that people are usually attracted to partners that will help them resolve whatever conflicts they had with their parents. And I have found this to be true most of the time. A lot of articles have been made on this subject and even on the "attachment style". See, women and people in general who are attracted to partners who treat them badly usually do so because they had a difficult relationships with one of their parents and are subconsciously looking for a way to face those issues and solve them this time.
Now I won't deny that women are generally attracted to men who know how to take the lead because it is seen as masculine the same way men are attracted to caring and vulnerable women because it is perceived as feminine. But being masculine is different from being mean. Somehow this whole "poor nice guys" theory feeds the idea that if you're nice then you're less than a man when there are plenty of men that are respectful, devoted and yet masculine. Being nice doesn't equate to being a doormat . You can be strong ,have self-respect, know where you stand, all the while respecting others and caring for them.

Now I don't know what feminism has to do with it. I believe the issue, at the scale of society, certainly lies in the impact of the porn industry and the pressure put on men to prove their masculinity through the number of women they sleep with.

---

posted May 28, 2014 01:47 PM            

Trust yourself, AG. Some people don't get it. Trust your OWN eyes and your own gut.

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.