posted May 27, 2014 10:42 PM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
You know, Faith, I was just thinking about the great vibe we were getting in this Forum. We, all seemed to have had a fight, but as children can do, made up and feel happy with each other. Why don't you try to add to the positivity of the vibe, rather than pull it down?

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posted May 27, 2014 10:44 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:

Going back to the nice guy thing, I've known nice guys and most of them have no special problem being with women (and they don't care that some women go for the bad boys as those women don't attract them), and much more importantly not a single one of them ever talked about what a nice guy he was.

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posted May 27, 2014 11:10 PM            

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:

AWESOME POST!

If you truly are nice, you don't have to tell people. They know.

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posted May 28, 2014 02:12 AM            

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:
Disgusting.

So women who are raped are not worthy of your respect, nor people who are sexually assaulted, physically abused, shot and killed b/c some man was mentally disturbed.

I can't believe I am saying this on an Internet forum but you know the guy who threatened to rape me? I said no. You know what happened? I was physically beaten to a pulp- blood and bruises. I still have nightmares about this.

But according to you I am not brave because my genitals haven't been mutilated. I'm very lucky to make it out of that situation-not everyone does. Marginalizing women's feelings only perpetuates this cycle.

This is why I am no longer a Christian, sick of this hypocritical behavior. Randell, can you please explain to me why this mods behavior is okay?

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posted May 28, 2014 02:18 AM            

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Originally posted by mercuranian:
I too was in an attempted rape situation with a gun pointed to my throat. I said "not gonna happen, you'll have to kill me first."
Well I managed to get away without being raped but not before being choked and beaten black and blue.

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posted May 28, 2014 02:31 AM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
No one is saying rape is OK. No one is saying rape is not a terrible crime. Did I say that? Show me where I did? Show me where AG did? Don't put words in my mouth or his.

I am saying that I am sick of all this petty complaining about women's rights/ discrimination when you live in a country where there is none to little. Grow up and visit a country where there is real discrimination!

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posted May 28, 2014 02:33 AM            

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Originally posted by MoonWitch:
That's right, ladies. Be happy with what you have and stop complaining. Women should be seen and not heard, after all!

If you aren't having your genitals cut off you have no rights to complain here in good ol' MURICA where everything is perfect!

Sexism and violence against women is a myth! Just like racism!

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posted May 28, 2014 02:35 AM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
Why don't you let me decide what's appropriate for a Mod? They have to intervene when an argument gets out of hand, but they are entitled to their own diverse opinions just like anyone else here, and this includes minority and/or unpopular ones. It's called freedom of expression.

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posted May 28, 2014 02:38 AM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
B/c AG, since such sexual intent is subverted by being a "Friend" and "nice" and doing favors was fundamentally dishonest.

Take what PJ said about those two college guys saying that to her, douche' of course, also honest.

Neither was likely to help her move to a new place or do the other things that male friends do//b/c they are friends, not b/c they secretly want to have sex.

When some supposed male friend goes werewolf what do you suppose the reaction will be?

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posted May 28, 2014 02:43 AM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
As far as the topic of the thread is concerned, it screams of vague generalities. I think most men are good persons. I have a lot of male comrades, and none of them have this type of entitlement mentality. I don't think that they are superior human beings; nor do I believe that they are rare or unusually different than the majority of the male populace. I have never known of or met any guy with that attitude. In fact, it's been quite the opposite (especially in college). That's not to downplay the experiences relayed by women on this thread. I just think it's more the exception rather than the rule.

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posted May 28, 2014 02:46 AM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
From what I see more women wish men would ask them out more. Granted, it's an unfair world and women can react very differently to different men depending on various factors.

You should try reading some women magazines like Cosmo (about 3 million subscribers and sells pretty well at stores on top of that, which is to say it's a popular magazine and there'd be women who think the same way who never read it, too). I think it would blow your mind. Frankly, I'm shocked that it can be found so easily at grocery stores in the Bible Belt, it's practically porn in my book, and so much content devoted on how to get guys to drool over you (and much more) and to encourage you that if a man so much as blinks at you that he wants you (yay!).

One reason I put up with a guy harassing me for so long in an office unsure what to do was because I saw one of those ******* Cosmopolitan magazines on a desk (and I know he saw it, too) which had bold print about office hookups right on the borderline pornographic cover and thought that maybe this was normal behavior to be expected in an office environment and didn't want to get my friend who worked there in trouble by how I reacted. (Hmmm...I wonder if that was the desk of his sister who threw me out after I told him to stop?)

But that's not who we're talking about. We're talking about the guys who get violent or toxic (yelling, threatening, violent, shootings, etc). Not someone who wants a date and can be a grown up about it.

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posted May 28, 2014 02:48 AM            

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Originally posted by MetalAphrodite:
I didn't bother to read after the first couple of posts because I am worried that page 2 is a bit of fighting tone, so I'll comment.

Last night, I went on a blind date with a guy that seemed okay. He didn't know my past or anything, so I don't blame him for what happened to me, but he pushed for sex, even to the point of grabbing the back of my head and trying to force it to his crotch in my own car. He groped me, grabbing my crotch several times, and forcefully put his mouth on me and I played passive, trying to figure how to get away without setting him on edge.

I was so scared that my other personality kicked in, the one I used to boldly flirt and dissuade my rapist from when I was younger to having to submit me to gang banging.

I said to this guy, "Do you have words to express what you want or are we gonna play this push and pull game all night?" I smile a little and then edge out carefully from a potentially disasterous situation. I got home and my family was waiting for me outside, concerned since I hadn't dated in a while. I broke down crying outside because of the adrenaline rush and my naïveté to continuously give even complete strangers the benefit of a doubt.

I understand men think about sex. If a man is looking for a partner, he needs to know what kind of relationship he wants.

I was so scared that I blame myself for attracting this situation. I'm looking for a protector. Yes, he will think about sex, but he won't put me at odds for a quick moment's satisfaction. Regardless of culture, we are still individuals who are individually worthy of respect from each other and should treat everyone as our reflection.

It wasn't right for that man to tell me he wants to protect me and then manhandle me into trying to have sex. It wasn't right for that rapist years ago to submit me to deciding if I was going to spend my last night as a virgin being ****** by one man or five.

It wasn't right for people to touch me as a child and inappropriately touch me as a child then a family member backhand me for asking for help.

Am I tripping to hold out hope that there will be someone who wants to lover and respect me by protecting me?

I have to be willing to forgive myself for these things and let it go. I trust in the infinite abundance of the universe and see no reason to believe I am so special to have been singled out for a miserable existence.

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posted May 28, 2014 02:57 AM            

Thanks for all of your kind words to everyone! These topics are never easy to discuss, so your support of everyone means a lot to me.

posted May 28, 2014 02:59 AM            

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Originally posted by AqMoon:
I just want to put my own two cents in on this thread topic,first off i think it's disgusting as a man myself to see so many other men who do have this kind of mentality.
I feel ashamed of men who feel entitled to sex,and dislike that and i'm not saying that everyone but some people will place the few men who are good and honest men who actually have respect for women into the same kind of category.

It's nasty to me when these men with these kinds of thoughts.

Think that they can...1)Even think that in this life,in this world that they deserve anything especially deserve a woman to spread her legs wide eagle because he feels he is entitled to the pleasures of sex.That is abusing women without even actually causing any harm to an actual real life woman in a physical or emotional way.

The man already has the idea planted in his head to abuse a woman through sex,that's wrong.

2)It's one thing to be friends with a woman, it doesn't mean you can ask for sex and no man has any right to that.

3)I don't agree with that bs about men were born to have sex,so it's alright because it's what men are for.Men are more than just a good lay,i can't stand this idea that men=sex
why? Because we have a pointer that's like saying a woman can have kids and if she doesn't she is not doing what she was programmed to do.That is an insult to me as a man,that all i'm programmed to do with my body is lay everything in sight.It's also an insult to every other guy,the ones who raise a family,the ones who work hard,the ones who adore and love they're wife family dog mother mother in law who ever else.It's also an insult to women because it's like saying the only purpose a woman has is to be screwed with by a man.

4)I think the only way this kind of mentality would apply to any man is if he was the kind of man who didn't have a strong father figure,a man who is full of himself and a man who just doesn't/didn't ever learn the concept of discipline.Urges are urges but because we fee them does not mean we have to give in,although a lot of people say that if you don't act on it you'll likely become repressed or resent yourself or women.

5)While i don't think the internet birthed this kind of mentality,i will admit that the media the movies internet and all of these thing's have contributed and spawned new ways of gaining sexual gratification for some of these men.I think they have progressed the idea of what sex means to some men,it's drawn a new line for some of these men out there and they've crossed it because in they're minds they think it's what's right.While the rest of us shake our heads and think huh?

It really just does depend on the kind of personality a guy has,if he blows hot smoke or needs the constant ego strokes then don't be surprised if this is the kind of man that feels the need to want more stroking.

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posted May 28, 2014 03:09 AM            

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Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
[QUOTE]Wow.

I try to avoid you because you are always right in your mind and no pint in wasting my precious time. However in just reading this first page I am rather disgusted and shocked that a woman can be so callous and uncaring and make ha ha and insults about these issues.
You did it before when we originally fought;
when you saw A.I.D.S. as a big ha ha laughing matter and worse.
You must live a very sheltered or head in the sand life since you feel all this is petty complaining and that women in America are not in your opinion have and are suffering in ways the women, including myself have posted about.
Just because we don't wear burkas and all;
does not mean we are whiny and trivial in our complaints.
I had to post to show the ladies here that I
understand and care and take their complaints very seriously.;
unlike you.

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Holy crap, I'm suddenly glad I skip most of Ami's posts, I didn't see what you replied to until you quoted her! (And hadn't been aware of the AIDS bit you brought up, though it wouldn't surprise me.)

So can anyone tell me, does Ami also tell Aquaguy to get over his complaints about women given that he still has his testicles and isn't enduring some genocidal war in Africa or in Pelican Bay for life over some trumped up charge that he's innocent of? Or is she sympathetic to him instead?

posted May 28, 2014 04:04 AM            

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:

AWESOME POST!

If you truly are nice, you don't have to tell people. They know.

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That is true with many people. I believe the nice ones are who truly make the earth inhabitable. However, there are some...who totally take niceness for granted and do not appreciate it or barely notice it or worse, think of it is a weakness they can exploit.

posted May 28, 2014 06:19 AM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Holy crap, I'm suddenly glad I skip most of Ami's posts, I didn't see what you replied to until you quoted her! (And hadn't been aware of the AIDS bit you brought up, though it wouldn't surprise me.)

So can anyone tell me, does Ami also tell Aquaguy to get over his complaints about women given that he still has his testicles and isn't enduring some genocidal war in Africa or in Pelican Bay for life over some trumped up charge that he's innocent of? Or is she sympathetic to him instead?

I'm pretty sure I know the answer but I thought I'd ask as I'm not about to read through her posts.

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posted May 28, 2014 08:08 AM            

That being said, let's love on

PS Freudian slip but it was so cute that I will leave it

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 28, 2014 10:07 AM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
People often equate being a nice guy with being a pushover, and since some women will date a pushover but aren't necessarily attracted to that type, they might end up with a jerk instead. The aversion to spineless yes men is so strong that some women will choose the opposite, and that can sometimes be a worse choice in many ways. But nice guy doesn't have to equate with spineless. There can be a happy medium. MoonWitch found hers. I guess what I'm saying is that it doesn't have to be either/or. There are plenty of nice guys with an edge out there--men who are decent and respectful, while also being strong and protective.

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posted May 28, 2014 10:10 AM            

I learned this lesson about "spiritual" people, too, who can be the NASTIEST people on the planet while dripping hearts and flowers from their lips

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 28, 2014 10:24 AM            

I left a comment for you on the last page. Giving you an opportunity to actually fortify some of your arguments.

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Women want a man who is atleast a little bit dominant and bossy and makes plans without consulting her.

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Decisiveness can be attractive (ETA: come to think of it..it can also be repulsive, depending on the circumstances) and speaking for myself, a little bit of surprise is welcome, but the men I've known who think it's their duty to dominate have all overdone it, and made their wives bitter. The girlfriends just left eventually.

Balance is the ideal. Not dominion either way.

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Take me for example..... I was definitely socialized to be a nice guy and treat women as my equal.

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quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
This is because nice guys listened to the feminist ideas that they learned at home and in society at large. They took all the stuff about treating women as equals and men being too sexually forward and internalized it and approached women and relationships with those things in mind. And they failed... Again.. And again.. And of course they were angry, frustrated,and confused.

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Hello there...women should be treated as equals because we are equals.

posted May 28, 2014 10:26 AM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
People often equate being a nice guy with being a pushover, and since some women will date a pushover but aren't necessarily attracted to that type, they might end up with a jerk instead. The aversion to spineless yes men is so strong that some women will choose the opposite, and that can sometimes be a worse choice in many ways. But nice guy doesn't have to equate with spineless. There can be a happy medium. MoonWitch found hers. I guess what I'm saying is that it doesn't have to be either/or. There are plenty of nice guys with an edge out there--men who are decent and respectful, while also being strong and protective.

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I think this is how men should act. Be kind. Be respectful. Be gentle but don't be a wimp. Have your own sense of self. Respect yourself.

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.