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Author Topic:   Aquarius man, there must be SOMETHING good to say?
spirited dawn
Knowflake

Posts: 19
From: Somewhere over the rainbow, USA
Registered: Jul 2005

posted March 04, 2006 10:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for spirited dawn     Edit/Delete Message
I have posted twice before about this Cappy woman/Aqua man combination and I have read several of the postings about Aquarius men; I either have to shake my head at my own stupidity or wonder like so many others have I just gotten drawn in to what appears to be the Aquarian mystique?

His (Aqua) Sun in Aquarius, Moon in Virgo, the ascendent is Sagitarrius, Jupiter in the 10th house, Saturn in the 1st house, Saturn conjunct with Ascendent, Venus in 2nd house, Sun in the 3rd and the Moon in the 9th.

Woman Sun in Capricorn, Moon in Scorpio, Ascendent in Gemini, Mercury in the 7th house, Moon in the 6th, Maris is in opposition of the ascendent and Saturn is in the 7th house, Sun in the 9th and Venus is in the 10th house.

This five year on again off again thing has seems to be suddenly and without explanation be off again and this time I feel like I need to let go of it, enough is enough, which for those of you who know anything about us goats, is not an easy task. For me to feel good about the time invested, I choose to hold on to what I believe the depth of the bond to have been and what we seemed to share, not the sudden and harsh long silences and distance he imposes (recently he placed the responsibility on me for the strained communications, a case of calling the kettle black? He is especially good at making you feel dismissed. Thinking I had an significant impact(like he told me years ago that I had)is a place I can draw strength from for me to be the one that walks away this time. If I believe I was just his latest distraction/dissection then I become angry with myself and I try to reconcile why has he come back so many times? He asked for my patience with him but I am to the point that I have been patient enough!

Please don't hold back, I deserve some "you shoulda known betters" but any encouragement and insights you can provide would lift this girl's spirits by helping me sort through this so that I may see my way more clearly.

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Nihilive
Knowflake

Posts: 93
From: Dearborn Heights, MI, USA
Registered: Feb 2006

posted March 04, 2006 12:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Nihilive     Edit/Delete Message
Aquarians have a tendency to hurt those around them and keep a good lid on doing so. I'm about a cunthair's length of cutting my aquarian "best friend" out of my life. He causes me too much anguish to bear.

Investigate them well. Most of the time, they are doing something around you that you most likely have an inkling about, but don't know for sure. Always go with your inkling.

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lotusheartone
Knowflake

Posts: 5569
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005

posted March 04, 2006 01:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lotusheartone     Edit/Delete Message
I find that word extremely offensive..

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MAGUS of MUSIC
Knowflake

Posts: 1443
From: The Highlands,NY,usa
Registered: Jun 2002

posted March 04, 2006 03:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MAGUS of MUSIC     Edit/Delete Message
and I dont

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lotusheartone
Knowflake

Posts: 5569
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005

posted March 04, 2006 03:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lotusheartone     Edit/Delete Message

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 5042
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004

posted March 04, 2006 03:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Nihilive

Sorry to hear about yer friend...

Are you both male by any chance and would you mind going into more details about why you are thinking of cutting him out of yer life? What sign are you, if you dont mind my asking?

Doesnt your screen name mean a disbelief in anything or am I mistaken?

Thanks and good luck

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Aphrodite
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Posts: 4714
From:
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posted March 04, 2006 03:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aphrodite     Edit/Delete Message
Spirited Dawn is a girl, Sue.

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Nihilive
Knowflake

Posts: 93
From: Dearborn Heights, MI, USA
Registered: Feb 2006

posted March 04, 2006 04:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Nihilive     Edit/Delete Message
sue g:

Yes, we are both male and I am thinking of cutting him out for many of the reasons discussed in this topic:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/002011.html

Not to mention that whenever he is in a relationship he completely abandons his friends. He contributes nothing to my life anymore and probably never will again. He's nothing but a detriment and a worry and I want him gone. He's too impulsive and jumps into too many things he can't handle. He is way in over his head, and he doesn't need to be involved in my affairs anymore.

Hate to do it, but I don't need him.

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 334
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 04, 2006 09:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Spirited:
My experience with an Aquarian male who I fell hard for and still have profound feeings for, sucked!!! After "seeing" him for almost a year, and what I thought was just Aquarian detachment was actually a married man. Some signs were there, but for every sign that he was married there was another that he was not! Before we became intimate I did not come right out and ask him but I told him "I do not "do" guys who are married or otherwise attached." He said he respected that, then I asked him "how is it you are a single guy?" His other phone rang, he had to take the call, I never asked again (extreamly relative and privacy-respecting fish chick here.) I just assumed he was not. But one month ago, I came right out and asked him, and after dancing around the question he finally admitted to being married and told me the whole story. He told me he had tried to let me go, but could not and that he knew I would find out some day.
Now, once I had gotten over the ego things of how I had been lied to (I threw many things out there giving him the opportuinty to either lie to me or tell me the truth) I still question wheather he is telling me the truth or not!!!!!! How cold would it be to tell me he is married, to keep me from getting closer and really not be? I have my doubts that he is married, lots of things just don't add up.
So, I am acknowledgeing the deep, profound connection that we have, remaining connected but not intimate, living in the moment, but I swear, if I ever find out that he is not really married and has lied to me again I just may loose all faith in humanity, starting with Aquarian males and have him committed to the state psych hospital!!!!!!!!!!

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spirited dawn
Knowflake

Posts: 19
From: Somewhere over the rainbow, USA
Registered: Jul 2005

posted March 04, 2006 11:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for spirited dawn     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks Hippichick. Although my heart goes out to you, you did give me cause for a smile with your description of events to happen should he attempt another sham. Good for you.

Like you and your guy, our connection was profound. It blindsided us both. I often sense that he is overwhelmed with how big it is and then he pulls away and behaves as if he has no interest in me whatsoever. I also have said to my aquarian fella, I do not believe him to be dishonest, however, I do not think him forthright. I had my same doubts about marital status, primarily because of all the nay sayers who told me that anyone who behaves like him is hiding something; I was able to have some background provided on him and it was just as he told me with dates and all, he was in fact divorced. The terminally ill ex-wife that lives in his home however, I have taken him on his word. That could be a foolish mistake on my part. The fact that he feels he must care for her is why he asked me for my patience. I have mixed feelings about what I would describe as this sense of responsibility, while on one hand you have to admire a person who would stand beside someone like that, I don't get it. He at one point told me she is able to hold down a job. This is the kind of stuff that I could use some enlightenment about. Without sounding totally selfish and self absorbed, five years is a very long time; I continue to ask myself why does he remain in contact but seem to be so aloof with me?

At this point, I have to let go of the whys and whatfors and move on. I have given him every opportunity to end it with no hard feelings on my part and he has never spoken the words but his actions give me nothing, often there is no response. Even as a Capricorn, who holds on like a bulldog to a bone, the nothingness for me is riduculous and I need to walk away. Do I speak my mind or take my lead from him and let him figure out at some point that I am gone?

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 334
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 05, 2006 07:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message

Spirited:
I say, take off and let him figure it out. No amount of setting an example with these guys and doing the right think will make a difference, "when in Rome do as.......!"
Not necessiarialy honest but not forthright, hmmmm, I like that one, I think I have even used it with my guy before!
And check this out, my guys "excuse" for staying in his crappy, "alleged" marriage
is because his wife had breast cancer 15 years ago and while she was under anesthesia for a biopsy, he made the decision for her to have a bilateral mastectomy. He says he is afraid for her health and stays for the kids (17 and 21) which is crap, he is doing her health detriment in a loveless marriage.
But, really, I could see a guy like mine and yours lying about being married just so that they are not emotionally exposed and a pittiful attempt to keep others at bay as far as emotions are concerned!
I have known for quite sometime I do not want to get married again, or even a "relationship" to speak of in cultural terms, just a deep, profound connection with someone. But I have discovered recently that I want that connection more frequently than I get it now and with intimacy as well, so I just may be walking, emotionally on this one as well!
Power to us!!
I think your guy may be bullcrapping you, but only you would know, like me, sounds like things just don't add up. But what we have to realize is that no matter what is really going on, the fact that they have to run and hide from themsleves is what really counts. Whatever form it takes, emotionally unavailable is just that, EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE. I want someone who is intouch with himself to the degree that I am in touch with myself and not afraid of LOVE. Yours probably remains in contact but aloof for the same reasons mine does, they feel it, just cant handle it, scares the life out of them. Real women, (loving, kind independant, confident, sexy the list goes on and on) scare the life out of them.

Peace, Love and Light.....

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sthenri
Moderator

Posts: 4092
From: Generic New England City
Registered: May 2003

posted March 05, 2006 09:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
they are good at fixing things if you are right there, otherwise, even as computer programmers they aren't that great....

They make good dancers, but usually Aquarius men are too dry, too cynical, too old fashioned as in double standard, too flirty, too drunk, to be in a relationship with me.

Plus they can be really nasty and angry when they want to be and always come off the good one.

They are better than most as friends but that's only because once you've been involved with one sexually it's not that great-

What's good is that it's reminder to be self centered and care about yourself first. I don't trust everyone and Aqua men remind me that they are equally suspicious of me!

Natasha
Taurus Sun 6th trine Uranus In Libra/10th

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 334
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 05, 2006 11:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Natasha:
I admire your grounded earthiness. Fishchick here floats all over the place and appreciates you earth people's sense of groundedness!

Yes, I am reminded to be self-centered when my Aqua friend is getting the best of me, but that, not being my nature, does not last long.

You are right about the sex thing too!

As you mentioned on another thread and I agreed with (funny I was thinking the same thing when I was compelled to get up that night and log on) what we want is a deep profound connection. And I am beginning to discover that Aquarian males are not capable of maintaining that type of connection for any length of time and that is where I will opt out!!!

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spirited dawn
Knowflake

Posts: 19
From: Somewhere over the rainbow, USA
Registered: Jul 2005

posted March 05, 2006 02:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for spirited dawn     Edit/Delete Message
Natasha and Hippichick,

Thanks so much for your responses; they underscore my original post....can anyone say anything GOOD about an Aquarian male? Let's see, we have that they might be able to dance! As I revealed in earlier posts, this guy found me through Classmates 25 years after high school, I had little recollection of him but he definetely remembered me. I do not have the type of details you two can share regarding your guys, my knowledge comes only from the written word and the background check I had conducted. Hippichick, your observation regarding their inability to stay connected seems to be not without warrant. I get stuck on why this guy found me after all those years and what kept him writing for five years? BUT, as I have said earlier, it doesn't matter, it appears to be going no where and even the friendship does not meet my needs. The advice Natasha gives about making sure you put yourself first with this type of personality is very sound and I am digging my heels in about that. I enjoyed your insights into this very complicated man.

Love and Laughter to you both,

Dawn

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MAGUS of MUSIC
Knowflake

Posts: 1443
From: The Highlands,NY,usa
Registered: Jun 2002

posted March 05, 2006 05:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MAGUS of MUSIC     Edit/Delete Message
""what we want is a deep profound connection. And I am beginning to discover that Aquarian males are not capable of maintaining that type of connection for any length of time and that is where I will opt out!!!""

Dont I often wish this was true for this Aqua male !

Looks like a few grounded Earth souls here need to go back to the drawing board on the Uranian ruled yet again. That or call it quits all together for trying to peek into the hearts of those who live in the most electric air.

Not sayin you havent run into some Aqua's who arent brave enough to keep delving in Love's realms with you. Of course be on the look out for the ones who have been scared enough too the point of no longer being capable of genuine intimacy and honesty.

Just dont think you are gona find out all there is too us beyond the tip of the iceburge, useing the standard criterias and rulers for your views and measures.

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Lialei
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Posts: 437
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted March 05, 2006 07:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message
~

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sthenri
Moderator

Posts: 4092
From: Generic New England City
Registered: May 2003

posted March 05, 2006 08:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
Magus, I have had a few very close Aqua male friends, most with water moons..but my brother is an Aquarius, and at 16 he's beyond the biggest teenage pain as well as being ruled by Uranus. He lies, takes money out of purse, breaks things, it's a phase, I know but discipline is impossible otherwise he drives me nuts.

I swear I would love Aquas more if I didn't have to live with a teenage one at one point. Now I leave him alone as much as I can but there is no doubt the Aqua male needs to feel like the big cheese but the loyalty just isn't there.

I once left an Aqua male lover alone for three weeks (after he swore he was crazy about me), and he bitched so much my ears almost fell off. He said I was mean and hard to leave him alone like that. Love is an action, not just a word he said...I would never share myself emotionally or physically with an Aqua again, I don't believe a strong connection can be formed without loyalty to one person at one time, and that means everyone takes turns getting what they want.

What else can I do? But keep on with my life, without Aquas. So far I'm going strong.

Also I know too much being around Aquas...Aquas are notorious for going it alone and ignoring the team.

Make one feel he is part of a team and he looks for a way out, so nothing gets done.

Look at animals that survive in a pack, most live happy, look at animals that go it alone...

We all make our choices, but I don't want to live with wild animals...

Natasha


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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 334
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 05, 2006 09:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Magus,
Did not mean to offend.
My Aqua guy should be able to maintain some sort of depth, he has sun in aqua, mars, venus and jupiter in close conj in Pisces, conjuncting my sun in Pisces and widely conj my venus in Pisces. His sun in aqua conjuncts my mars, merc and jupiter in Aqua. So, he being highly Picean and me being highly Aqua should be a match made in heaven (if he were available as the intimate partner that I desire.)
There is still something very innate regarding his aloofness, which lends itself to the sun sign power. I have been told that I am very aloof as well, even though I may be dying inside with feelings, I can frost over quite nicely! And actually I can feel his depth when we are together, that is what has kept me connected to him for so long, I love that feeling of deep connectedness and I can feel him feeling it as well, but he has this ability to detach or atleast it comes off that way. I on the other hand can not so easily detach although I have lerned to do so with this guy as is is better for him and me. It just feels so good to maintain that deep feeling!!!
So do you think Aqua guys are really deeply feeling and choose not to acknowledge it? That is what I think and feel, but I need more.
Spirited:
An interesting footnote: this has happened so many times, when I talk myself almost out of him, let him go for the umteenth time, here he comes back again and again, this is probably happening to you and your guy. Just today, after my last post, he texted me and when I did not reply, he called and when I did not answer he called again..............
What can I say, love em, but.....
Guess I am supposed to learn something from those ever intriguing Aqua guys!!!

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sue g
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Posts: 5042
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004

posted March 06, 2006 05:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Oh God...

I cried after I read some of these posts..

My ex husband was Aqua/Gemini/Scorp.

After we split I went back to the house to get some things and he had the sitting room set up like a "shrine" with lots of photographs of me everywhere. He was crying and it was one of the most saddest moments of my life .

I knew he really loved me in his own way, but he couldnt connect with me the way I needed. Just before we split up I asked him why he had treated me the way he did and the reply was "I needed to push you as far to the edge as I could...I had a death wish on you...but I do love you".

It has been 17 years since split up, and I shall never forget him. It has only been the last year that I stopped dreaming about him. I feel he will never get over losing me..

Maybe now if I met him things would be different....I am older, wiser and more understanding.....maybe I could make a go of it?

I love Aquarian men....they intrigue me and I know they have many lessons to teach me.....and me them !!

x

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 334
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 06, 2006 08:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Sue,
You are right, they are supposed to learn something from us as well.
Thank you for your post, maybe there is some hope, if only he wern't married!

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spirited dawn
Knowflake

Posts: 19
From: Somewhere over the rainbow, USA
Registered: Jul 2005

posted March 06, 2006 11:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for spirited dawn     Edit/Delete Message
I have so enjoyed the discussions and they have brought me more enlightenment. Magus I do so appreciate this from a male perspective, an Aquarian male all the better. You gently remind us that once again things may not be as they appear. I always felt, at least in my case, his lesson to learn from me was just as big. I think his usual patterns come up and he goes away but previously he has always come back much more connected each time. My sense was that he could tell I was pulling out, so he would give me enough to keep me still holding on. This time I have not heard from him for almost a month so I would hope by now he has noticed something has changed. I have never not continued corresponding.

Can any of you look at our birthcharts and see if there is something that lends itself to the irony I have been living for the last five years or is what I am experiencing absolutely the norm with this sign? My birthdate is January 14, 1958 and his is February 15, 1957. Even from these postings, you hear the descriptions of the shallow behavior but yet something is there in each one about their ability to feel something much deeper.

Love and Laughter,

Dawn

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Mama Mia
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From:
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posted March 06, 2006 12:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
Gosh I cannot even respond like I want to. to this thread, for I have so much info on this be it cause I have a very close connection to a certain Aqua guy and I feel you totally. I really do know what it is like to be inside someone and then inside you. I know what it is like and can somewhat understand. Put it like this the really hard part of this is to have a Aqua who is your Twinsoul... How about that for size. Put it like this I continue to be amazed. I have never been a quitter but somehow I give up has enterd into my vocabulary alot..

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 334
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 06, 2006 12:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Dawn,
They are not shallow,( just behavior as you know) very deep and that is what is so frustrating!!!! Why do they run from it?? A dear friend of mine just reminded me that we are here to teach them how to love..............
And they can sense you are pulling away as I stated in my last post they come back again and again, others on this fourm will attest to that! It is some kind of wierd energy thing.
Just follow your heart and you can't go wrong, ever!!!!

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sue g
Knowflake

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From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004

posted March 06, 2006 05:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
"we are here to teach them how to love"

I was very moved by your friend's comment Hippichick...

How i wished I'd had the maturity, patience and foresight to help my Aqua hubbie get in touch with his deeper and finer feelings. He so lived in his head most of the time and it was only when we parted that he started to open up!

Oh well maybe life will give me another chance to help another on this path....and then I shall feel as though it was not in vain spending all those years with my elusive Aquarian man......

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 334
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 06, 2006 07:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Sue,
You make me wanna cry! It was not in vain, reminds me of an old Eagles song, "Wasted Time." Look at what you have learned and look at the very enlightened advice and wisdom you bring to this forum!!!!!!

If we are all connected, if we are all of one soul then we all are here to help one another. Painful as it is sometimes, we chose to be human for a reason and I believe that is to learn from the relationships we traverse through in our lifetimes.

Even if at a younger time of your life you had the maturity and wisdom that you speak of, would of HE been ready to listen? I will bet not. We are where we are when we are and who we are.

I so try not to beat myself up about this whole guy thing and most of the time I am ok. But when the human emotions of fear and the like emerge with the ever so strong EGO, then I must make a concious effort to climb out of it once again. The times are getting fewer and further between but still I am human as are you.

Sending Peace, Love and Light,

Terri

Ps. I love Ireland, never been but am so drawn to there!!!

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