posted October 12, 2005 07:28 PM              

Cheating is about poor self esteem and making yourself a better person through your mate, Cancers don't really cheat, they just go out with other people and don't tell you. I would think everything is fine as long as he still wants to spend time with you on a Friday nite.

Pisces risings tend to have a very rose coloured glasses view of cheating-they forgive themselves easily, and take slights very seriously. I have never had a good expeience with Pisces risings not that they cheat-but that they are not very loyal to anyone's interests but their own. As long as you are loyal to a pisces rising you are faithful but if you expect equality and commitment it's dicey. Instead it's more about what you have to offer other than your emotions-stable home life, good job, those kinds of things are what pisces risings worry about-if you don't have those things I would worry-but if you, assert yourself and make joint domestic decisions.

I have to tell you, water ascendants are intensely domestic, even the men. It's a secret because they seem macho but buy him an expresso machine and ask him to make you one. He will be thrilled and happy to comply. So as long as you are in charge of making his life better, enhancing it, things are good. But don't talk too much about your own life or work, because he maybe threatened.

Great men but have your own life.

Cancers can be very flaky and dishonest emotionally, but usually it's very obvious when they are unhappy. They argue and that's not usual-plus you must be loyal and uninterested in other men or man related professions. Hard working, but still domestic, plain and simple but beautiful, warm and loved by all. with so much water he will depend on you always, not the other way around. I love water people but I only engage when I know what's going on in my own life and never when I am confused emotionally.

Work on your self esteem and keep in touch with friends that are strong. Pisces can dissolve your confidence and start up old fears since it's a timid placement that gets drained easily. He needs lots of sleep.

On the bright side this man could really make you think hard about what you want emotionally in your own life.

And to be honest I get more validation and honest inspiration about life from Cancers than any other sign except Scorpios. It was a Cancer who told me you must be happy with where you are in your life before looking for a mate because otherwise you will become bogged down with negativity. And it was a Cancer who told me to stay away from drinkers, smokers, and drug users. Cancers take marriage and children very seriously and are great teachers.

I still stick with them, but I don't depend on them especially physically. When I move I will make a few Cancer friends and be loyal but I won't date them because if they were willing to date it's because there is something wrong with their lives. I will wait until it's all fixed and then date. In fact Cancers don't really date, they tend to hang out, or meet women at work.

Unforunately I get sexually attracted easily and it shows so I have to focus on other signs that are not so scared off by assertive women. One day I will meet a nice Cancer at work and so he won't be insecure. One that doesn't act gay, takes care of his appearance, doesn't drink too much, isn't overly concerned with how much money I make, and actually enjoys sex.

posted October 12, 2005 09:42 PM              

sthenri, i jus found out 3 days ago that this cancer cheated on me... sag rising, gemini venus... he wasn't aware that i knew about it. i'm at a lost, not sure how to handle this.

posted October 12, 2005 10:49 PM              

Thank you Girl...{{{HUGS}}}after reading your post I feel so much better ...must have helped still my heart as you say..no he hasn't called,but I can't help but feel that he really hasn't abandoned me...I think there is this barrier of propriety between us when we are at the station together...when we are together away from there.. there is some hesistancy at first because I guess we are in that mode..but when that is removed its soemthing that feels more right than anything else has in my life and I know he has to feel some degree of that. I'm not giving up on him and us as I told him I am willing to take him on , if he is willing to let me and he was agreeing on that. SO I think it is a matter of ajust ment and I hope we are still on the same page as we were before. I must admit I don't like all this talk of cheating cancers because that has creeped into my paranoia...and I do feel sympathy for those it has happened to...I frankly think he would n't have time to cheat or even play the field..i mean he barely has time for me what with between work, his daughters, the station and other members of his family ..his baby sister is due in Novemeber (another Scorp)with her first child and they want to make him the guardian.so ther eis alot for him to juggle, and he does need sleep as Natasha had said...his lament has always been "i need to get more sleep" I need a nap etc.

I hope I don't drain you too much...I go thru periods of being needy...and this is one of them...Thank you for all you have done for me. I probably can't say it enough!

posted October 13, 2005 01:55 PM              

and celtic, that's good that he's busy! Still, Scorpios like to be alone with their S.O.'s. I know Scorpios pretty well and that's the ticket to their heart. Be aware of what you have to offer not just what you need, maybe you are being needy because deep down you feel you don't have what it takes to keep his interest and you don't feel loved cause he's never around.

That's why it's good to get out and live your own life and keep busy: You will get a better perspective, and make you feel needed and wanted by others right now.

posted October 13, 2005 06:42 PM            

As for this bit about Cancer’s being unfaithful, I’d be curious to know more of the details behind the situations. Just saying “So and So cheated on me” without the specifics does nothing but cast a big shadow of fear over those that are dating Cancers. Again, I want to stress that a sun sign Cancer’s cardinal trait is loyalty. When they are tied to you, they are probably one of the most loyal of the signs. I don’t think it matters where their birthday falls. However, other astrological influences (like moon, ascendant, Venus, and mars in specific) may complicate things. I wonder if Mars and Moon influences play the biggest part in unfaithfulness? You’d think the emotional state of the man combined with this physical inclinations might give a better picture of whether or not he’d be likely to cheat. I’m sure wiser minds than I have opinions on this. : )

Additionally, there’s always a chance, depending on the situation that a Cancer might define a relationship differently than the person that cares for him. I could easily see a Cancer going out on a few dates with someone (casually), deciding the relationship wouldn’t work for him but not having the heart to tell the person he was seeing. Why should he hurt you? Instead he might try to introduce distance hoping you’d loose interest so he wouldn’t have to let you down. He might get more and more remote hoping the person he was seeing would get the hint. He’d might even go out and see other people because there was not an understanding of mutual exclusiveness between you. In his own mind you were not committed to one another – you were just dating.

I’ve gone out with some guys a few times where I knew they were VERY interested in me but the feeling was not mutual. I wouldn’t lead them on – I’ve always been up front with people (probably my Sag influences), but if they persisted in being interested, I’ve pulled the classic cancer distance trick. And then sooner or later, when I’d met someone I was interested in, I told the original person as soon as possible. I know some of these guys were probably pretty angry, but I truly never promised them anything – quite the opposite, I told them I wasn’t looking.

At the end of things, I think it’s likely that ANY sign can / will cheat. I’d say cancers are less likely than many, but yes, they can still be cheating, lying jerks without a doubt. How do you tell if your man is cheating?

1. Look at his chart, see if there are any serious signs of unfaithful tendencies in any of his major planets.

2. Look at his age, maturity, life-situation self-confidence, and emotional well being. If your man is 21, with self esteem issues, and a perchance for wild behavior then be cautions. If he’s 40 with a family, a stable job, investments, and a clear picture of who he is, then try not to worry so much.

3. This one is THE most important, use your empathy. I direct this point most specially to my water sign sisters. Scorpio women, you know you have almost magical like empathy. However, all women have a good sixth sense. If you’ll listen to it, you’ll have a damn good idea if your man is cheating. Just pay attention.

The only other advice I can give you is talk to your men. Seriously, consistently keep those lines of communication open, make sure you know where you stand. Make sure you know if your man is happy. Keep things honest and above board.

In Celtic’s case, her man has a lot of stabilizing influences. He’s also a mature man, with a family and that brings an element of dependability you just don’t find in many younger men.

posted October 13, 2005 10:26 PM              

slightly more than a month ago, his colleague was having a fight with her husband and i noticed thing between him and i changed slightly. he was less availabile on weekends and the both of them were stuck together like they had glue between them. wherever one is around, the other is too... and additionally, someone from another department saw them holding hands and as soon as they were seen, they split instantly...

we all worked in a hotel and the both of them are sometimes required to stay in the hotel due the the nature of their jobs. whenever he is required to stay in, i was usually told before hand and he'll ask me to stay in with him too... but i found out that 3 weeks ago he stayed in and i wasn't told at all... on another occasion, she had a room and i notice that he carried his overnighter but i din wanna probe... she and i were usually friendly terms and we do talk but suddenly one day she gave me a hateful stare and i was a lil taken aback. that was when i grew suspicious... and while all these happened, he was still caring towards me...

i was working last sunday and went over to his desk to retrieve a file. i accidently knocked over his note book and found lil love notes from her saying that she misses him and kisses for him... my heart sank...

posted October 13, 2005 11:59 PM              

But your feelings will have changed of course. This has happened before to me where I couldn't say anything, I am glad you told us.

Will you say anything? are you angry at both or just him? Do you want him back or anything like that? Go ahead and vent and work out your feelings before you decide anything. personally I would not let on, as it seems a bit late to do that and question if he's spending the night-

you may need to work on your own feelings first before confronting

EXCEPT

If you get another hateful stare I know what to do. Say "Are you okay?" and act sincere. Keep asking until you get an straight answer and don't let her act evasive. Let her know you know something is up and that she will have to come right out and confront you if she's going to keep pushing you around like that.

It's professional and in NO WAY should you take crap from someone at work regardless of who she is sleeping with. Do not let her walk on you no matter how, what where, or if you feel responsible. She has her own husband to cope with and she knows you may know. That is a situation open to manipulation and she will have bad intentions towards you until she understands you are not secretly plotting.

I know this situation, and do not turn your back on her, instead stand up to her and bully her back a bit. Get her to understand you are in charge.

That part at least, I know.

Everything else will heal in time, but let us know how you are doing.

Playing with someone is playing with someone regardless of how much you say you are not looking for love!

posted October 14, 2005 01:35 AM              

"Do Cancer's cheat?"

Yes of course we do. Not easily though. A couple of things Sthenri mentioned are extremely important. If a girl so much as acted a little bit interested in another man then that is like a dagger in the Cancerian man's heart and the only thing that will mend it is to confirm that he is still loveable, which he will do by cheating.

It's sick really because Cancer's are pretty controlling or manipulative. Make us completely happy and we will make you happy (by not cheating). The problems arise when the Crab's mate doesn't like the Crabs version of "making their mate happy".

posted October 14, 2005 11:20 AM            

personally i dont think that cancers as a sign should be the considerd the one who cheats' .
but ofcourse there can be aspects as to why and when they would cheat .

i'll put a very simple example ,i have a cancer friend who has a taurean gf for the last six years now. i wouldn't say that he cheated but yes ,once, he tried for a date with a leo girl ( fiery , confident woman do attract them) . i am sure he would not have been unfaithful to his taurean . but then why did he do it , most probably just for the fun of it , nothing serious . may be also because , its not very tough to influence cancers for the short period .
but then this a man's tendency , not just acncer one .
my point is , if he would have ditched his taurean . most probably 'NO' with 90% surity.
and for the 10% , u can't really a man , they are made that way . well , jokes apart , who knows if he had felt more needed that way like plutonian's man .

that way , even fayte's theory doesn't work b'coz that man's birthdate is 26 june (just before mine)
but then again , i have two cancer friends in the late july period . both of them ,pretty attached to thier respective gf's . but yes , the 20th july one had a string of gf's and he used lies in one of the realtions that i know of but then again, i am suer he loved them deeply and i dont think he cheated in the sense that's being discussed . yes , he used lies but it were more about his social status ( but that was not to gain anything but just the love)
(btw, pluto just kick that cancer , i dont think he's worth your worries , a man is one who keeps his words - not the one who forgets it)
so , i feel , i wouldn't keep any of the cases as that of cheating .
i have said this earlier that cancers take realtions as more of a responsbilty but then again they are born business men too , they are sure to feel bad , if they dont get back what they have invested in . logic,huh..

thats the basic complain that gems have but i say why not . give me a name who doesn't expect .

posted October 14, 2005 12:00 PM              

There you are!

Yeah am pulling myself out of the well I have fallen into and feeling better. I worked all day yesterday so it kept my mind occupied and I could think of other things other than dwell on my paranoia. you all have so kind to reassure me. I received some additional advice that also put things into perspective. That basically in a nutshell that I have to decide if I want to be the second fiddle and that I would not be a priority simply because of the position that his daughter(s) occupy in his life doesn't mean he cares for me any less just that they would come first. Basically would have to wait my turn and if I thought the relationship was worth it not be center of attention. Well as a mature person I don't have to be center of attention...I am content to be second chair as long as I get to still be in the band. He put all his cards on the table early on in the realtionship and he really hasn't done anything contrary to what he told me...I basically told him I was willing to take him on if he was willing to let me and he agreed. So basically I'm the one who has to adjust to this and determine if the reltionship is worth the sacrifice...which I
beleive it is. I will be seeing him tonite up at the station so we'll see what happens

posted October 14, 2005 12:19 PM            

read your post , i am still thinking about the things , so be ready for the bombarding questions in coming days

quote:

---

But this tendancy can be hurtful or worrisome if your mate is one of the more possessive signs (*cough* Cancer or Scorpio)

---

quote:

---

Leo Venuses tend to be very generous and treat their lovers grandly.

---

Idont believe in giving gifts , i am already the biggest GIFT to the woman that i am in love with

a different question , how has been your experience with leos . i haven't have any leo friends , just a few aquitances , so i dont really know or understand them .

posted October 15, 2005 12:17 PM            

tell u something ( that would be real reassuring) he has his responsibilities but that doesn't mean , u dont have a place in his life .
if u ask me , what i sense from the posts , he has alraedy commited to u , in his mind.
thats what my feeling is.

u know , actually it has to be your gut feeling . what sthneri and we are doing is ,she gave u the worst case scneario , we gave u the best case scneario . now , u gotta balance between these. and life is all about 'balance'.

i would just tell u , dont worry . just go with the flow .

u know, i used to think lot more than now about the gal that i talked about and after asking her , i haven't even seen her in the whole week, i dont have much thoughts about her . and , honestly , it doesn't really bother me b'coz i feel a kind of assurity in my mind even if she doesn't .

cancers live in thier imaginations . dreamy people ! so, even when they are alone , they are not actually alone in thier minds . they are talking to someone in thier imaginations , thats why they dont feel the lonliness . thats why they like sitting in a room all to themselves , quietly , at times .

i do that . and my cancer friends do that too. infact , there are times my body starts moving , just listening to a song thats being played somewhere . i have seen people , gawking at me in bus or metro when suddenly my shoulders start moving . weird huh.., but this is something common with all cancers . enjoying thier lonliness , b'coz they dont feel it .

i can't imagine him , not falling for u . u are soooooooooo good,i dont have the words to describe .
i know how difficult it is for me to fall in love with u . i can't imagine , how he can't do that .

so be assured .

btw, ain't u enjoying the 'silence' . it has its own music . feel it !!!!!

posted October 15, 2005 04:07 PM              

I wish you all the happiness, and yes there is rain but there is that blue sky.

Natasha

posted October 17, 2005 11:40 AM              

I went over to give his daughter her birthdya presents and she was thrilled..was only there acouple of hours...Was wondering as it may have been covered if Cancer men have a tencendy to be spacey?? RG said they live in their heads with the recent post and if that makes them so or maybe perhaps mine has a Pisces rising which could explain it (my moon is in Pisces and I have done my share of spacey things). He said a few odd things in conversation that under ususal circumstances (or other people) I would have called him on it. For example--Now he was there with me a t the station friday nite and he knew I had to work the next day....he asked me had I been at the station since they rearraged and put names on the gear rack of course I said yes (wanted to say yeah--you were there with me, do you not remember????)then soemthing else about "weren't you there yesterday on a crew? I thought you were there. I just said gently no I worked all day Saturday. Just made me wonder..not the first time he's said soemthing that goofy but now that I have a better understanding of Suns/moons/ascendant personalities jsut made me wonder...either that or he has so much business going on in his brain that he is in the ballpark sometimes but not sitting in the seat if you know what I mean. lol!