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Author Topic:   When Aquas have a "Problem" With You...
pjeff
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posted May 12, 2008 09:53 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks Teri,
I never thought about the generation differences and all. This thread has definitely been discouraging about aquas and relationships. I know I should run but something tells me to stick it through and grow with it. I appreciate hearing everyones experiences though. Hopefully knowing that other people are going through the same thing will make me feel less "crazy". Aqua men, cant live with them cant live without 'em

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hippichick
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posted May 13, 2008 07:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
pjeff

One can have a "relationship" with an Aqua, just depends on what you are looking for.

It is just that women often need more, emotionally than the Aqua can provide, and I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad.

I was just fine with mine, cause I have a life of my own,and need horrible amounts of time to myself, but when my life turned upside-down, he was not there, when I just needed a friend, he was not even there.

As I told a Scorpio woman last night on her Aqua thread...

"what does not kill you, makes you stronger."

The greatest thing I have learned from Aqua:

Self-reliance (emotionally) and loads of detachment!

Blessings

Terri

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Hey
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posted May 13, 2008 07:33 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, mentally tormenting a man for years can get things a little kinky.
If you explore the mind, you can explore the body.

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Crabplanet
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posted May 14, 2008 04:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Crabplanet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Always thought it so interesting to analyse why we are attracted to people who "torment" us so much, and why is it so difficult to let go, and with more reason if we feel neglected? Where is the need to "fall" for a person who is so aloof and who never expresses his emotions? It's not even the "aqua" who needs to be put under a microscope, but our own soul, see where inside of us we feel familiar with an aqua encounter and with all that brings...

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bunnies
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posted May 14, 2008 04:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bunnies     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Because we always feel the need to change people and bring them around to OUR way of thinking....which of course as we know is the right one!
Wasting your time with Aquas.
I am one.
Tried to feel about relationships that way.
Simply can't.
Any emotions they generate makes us feel uncomfortable and why would anyone choose to be uncomfortable?
Someone wrote in this thread about them always having one foot out the door.
That is exactly the way I have always been.
But the most important thing to remember is we do the best we can...sadly it tends not to be someone elses idea of the best (see line one)

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Crabplanet
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posted May 14, 2008 05:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Crabplanet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I always have the impression people who are attracted to aquas are desperate and asking (and sometimes even happy) for "crumbs"...then they want to convince themselves (after bumping and bumping) that they have mastered the "art" of "letting go" and "detachment", when maybe it's just that they realized that it was a waste of time and a waste of their good energy...just a thought...

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hippichick
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posted May 14, 2008 08:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Crab and Bunnies

You BOTH have EXCELLENT thoughts!

Unfortunately, until I am able to rise above the planetary energies (ie; death most probably) with my huge Aqua influence in my chart I will always attract them and be attracted to them.

And I HAVE learned letting go and detachment from Aqua, but it was in me all the time, just took the energy of the Aquarian sun to bring out my Aqua in me...

Terri

PS it is quite a statement of irony that the most troublesome of Aquas to me, the one I have worked so hard at letting go, and have....hangs on to me.

They are not always so good at their own game.

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Crabplanet
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posted May 14, 2008 09:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Crabplanet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hippi,

You mean they never let you go once they realize that you are the one "letting go"?

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hippichick
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posted May 14, 2008 09:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Crab, not exactly, but when I have let go, then he seems to have more difficulty.

He once told me...

"I have tried to let you go, but just can't"

I believe their fixed nature comes and bites them in the rear time to time.

It is like until they become "fixed" with something, the something is like air to them, comes and goes, but eventually even their ruling planet, the planet of CHANGE can not incite them to, well, change, once the have become comfortable and fixed with someone, something a situation, etc.

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bunnies
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posted May 14, 2008 10:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bunnies     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You know hippi you are right, and just because we detach does not mean we forget.
Sometimes it's just a choice between which we can stand more easily.
And most times it's being detached.
I think feeling a lot of emotions for an Aquarians is a bit akin to repeatedly sticking your hand in a fire.
We realise it can be painful so we think better of it.
Do not kid yourself that we don't feel sad or jealous or upset because you didn't call because we do.
And you know what the best cure for that is?

Run! Run like the wind in the opposite direction!

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hippichick
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posted May 14, 2008 01:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

are you telling me to run, or is that what you all do?

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bunnies
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posted May 14, 2008 04:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bunnies     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh it's us! Every time.
I have a friend Jim who has terminal lung cancer(Aquarian) He is cool with the whole thing but he made the woman he lived with move out as he said he would rather be alone.
He has kept up with his friends but now they musn't get too close.
Everybody thinks he has gone crazy and wants to help and nurture him.
But I totally understand. In fact I have just come back from an evening meal with him.
But it had to be in a pub and after an hour he just upped and left.
As he said to me "I'm just clearing the decks. I need to be emotionally free now"

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pjeff
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posted May 15, 2008 05:26 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
One thing about aquas is that they really do help us to understand ourselves better in ways of our emotions and attachments.
Like what Bunnie was saying I totally understand the whole "run when you start to feel something" cause once you do you become vulnerable to feeling pain. I use to be like that and have just recently got over it, because of this aqua guy. I realized i liked him so much that no matter what happens i'm willing make myself somewhat "vulnerable" to him in order to explore our magnet chemistry. Unfortunately I am not sure if he is willing to take the same risk and having been there before myself i doubt there is anything i can say or do to convince him otherwise. Any suggestions in convincing an aqua that love is worth the risk? I doubt it. I think it is something inside of each of us that we have to decide for ourselves.

Along the lines of what Crabplanet was saying about how we are attracted to those who "torment" us I know for me in my current aqua "relationship" the reason I was drawn to him was because of those aqua qualities that made him stand out to me. Don't get me wrong I'm not full of myself or anything but being 20 and in university environments I always have guys hitting on me and saying really cheesy and insincere things to me, so that when i guy actually treats me like a normal/ intelligent person and wants to have a conversation instead of "hook up" that definitely gets my attention and interest. Also the fact that they do not dish out compliments (or at least not typical/usual ones) is very intriguing. Yes, I think there is something to the whole concept of us being attracted to those who "ignore" us and not to the ones who appear to "worship" us. Where is the fun in that?

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Annepisces
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posted May 15, 2008 08:46 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i have been friends with the aqauruis man for 4 years now and we are still in the friends zone. it has bothered me in the past cause i wanted more he did not but i have not ask him in the last year how he feels cause he is shy and he does not revel his feeling very often. we have this great connection and i will always love him i know he cares about me but im too shy to ask if he wants more cause he might just run away cause hes been hurt with exs. so should i say something before he goes away in a few weeks traveling for months or just do nothing and be happy with the friendship?

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bunnies
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posted May 15, 2008 06:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bunnies     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think there is a "moment" with Aquarians and it usually quite early on in a relationship which if you miss, then we slide effortlessly into friend mode.
And you will never get us out of there!
I think you have to grab them when their interest is fresh or wave goodbye forever.
But I may be wrong....?

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Annepisces
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posted May 16, 2008 04:56 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
but what if hes had a girlfriend all the time i have known him and its only now hes single should i still hold back with my feeling or not?

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bunnies
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posted May 16, 2008 05:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bunnies     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well I think you might have answered your own question there because you said "I wanted more but he did not"
Now you have to ask yourself why he didn't.
And has anything changed?
The girlfriend going should not be it.
Never be anyones second choice. If he's free now then let him make the move. If he doesn't then you need to wait for the one for whom you are the first and only choice.
It may not be him. Wait....and watch

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pjeff
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posted May 17, 2008 02:36 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm confused now about what to do with an aquarian "friend" and taking it to the next level. Bunnie you said at the beginning there is usually a "moment" that we should move or else it kind of passes right? well i totally get that, but then ppl say to be patient and to not rush or push it. Also that aquarians like to be good friends before there is a relationship. I was trying to take it slow with mine cause i didn't want to frighten him off and also to let us establish our friendship a little more deeply before we moved onto anything more seriously. I mean we "dated" but it was more like friendly dates if you know what i mean. it was really nice and refreshing without any pressure. Now i am starting to worry cause i havent heard from my "friend" in awhile and am thinking maybe i didnt act on the "moment" which i think presented itself on our last date which was also the last time i saw him. The thing that sucks about it is that i feel as if i have not only lost a super potential love but a good friend as well. I'm not really sure what i did or said wrong but im guessing that i did something to send him running. I;m not quite sure what to do to get my "friend" back. I hope i didn't blow my "moment"

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bunnies
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posted May 17, 2008 03:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bunnies     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
pjeff I hope I haven't worried you. I am only trying to explain things from my perspective as an Aqua (and remember it is only MY perspective) but all the ones I know do things the same way.
And it is this.
We very rarely instigate romance with someone we are crazy about because it holds us emotionally responsible.
If we are not really that "into" the person we can be quite bold knowing that further down the line we have a get out clause.

We have "friends" and we have "lovers"
We tend not to mix them. In other words the expression "he/she is my lover AND my best friend" tends not to apply.

I feel with Aquas you choose which category you want to be in quite early on.
And please, this doesn't mean that we don't get on with our lovers and have the best time or good fun with them but we tend to find having sex with our "best friends" a bit...I can't think of the word..."icky???

Remember sex with us is cerebral. I once had a relationship (briefly) with a Capricorn. Well my goodness! All that earthy rutting goat nonsense...I was most perturbed!!
And another thing (considering we are supposed to be intellectual) we are hopeless..hopeless I tell you at reading clues.
We will never click onto subtle come ons.
You better just SPELL IT OUT because we do not have the capacity to read undercurrents.
We will merely think you don't fancy us and want to be our friend.
And that's fine....so you pjeff are back to square one!!!
So in brief. You want an Aquarian?
Make your intentions clear from the outset.

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pjeff
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posted May 17, 2008 06:44 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you Bunnie! I really appreciate your advice as I am lost to this situation.
You said and I have heard others say that if there is someone that aquas are "crazy" about then they will not get involved. Do you mean as a lover or a friend? Or both? If that is the case then is it basically hopeless for me?
I think (at least wishfully thinking) that this may be what happened. It is strange though because we started off as friends or at least friendly, but he didnt waste much time after that in asking me out. He is the one that initiated it, but after I showed that i was also interested I had to do all of the initiating from that point on. For example he left me a message asking me out and i returned a msg saying yes and then i didnt hear a word from him in over two weeks. I had to call him and ask if he was still interested at which point he jumped at the offer. Typical things like that, but after a couple of so called dates he has disappeared. So weird since our last "date" really seemed to confirm our mutual attraction, although I think i may have sent him mixed signals. We have never actually said we were dating and said we have feelings for each other so i was trying to keep it friendly but flirty. I hope i didnt come off as uninterested. I dont know though, chemistry is kind of hard to ignore.
Sorry to be so annoying and keep talking about this, but i am just really confused. I know it sounds weird since I don't know him as well as i should, but i honestly felt like i was falling in love with him.

If he is aquarius with a venus in cap and I am a cap with venus in aqua how will that effect me "courting" (lack of a better word) him? I dont have a problem "spelling it out", I am only scared that it will be weird if he says no. If he doesnt want to be lovers i still want him to be my friend and i dont want to ruin that. I want him in my life no matter what role he is in. How do u suggest i go about it?
I have called a couple of times asking him to do something and the last time he said he would call me when finals and everything at school has calmed down. Finals ended this week so i guess its a waiting game now. If i dont hear from him I dont know if i should just let it go or keep pushing. My cap and aqu really come out here as I am aloof in making my true/ vulnerable feelings known, but i will do it if that is what it takes. Also im twenty and hes twenty four so I guess im a little intimidated by that not that it should make a difference. I just dont want to be that younger girl that cant get a clue you know?
So sorry!! I am going to shut up about this now. Ill stop making this thread about my personal issues. I just really need some insiders advice.

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bunnies
Knowflake

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posted May 17, 2008 01:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bunnies     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Here's what you do.
Call him and say "Right finals are over, what are you doing Friday? I want to go to this bar/ restaurant. Let's go.
(Make the decision so that he can't run the risk of rejection)
We are rather pathetic and fear rejection.
It makes us not look cool.
Do not be fooled by whatever persona he fronts up with. It is merely a disguise for screaming insecurity.
The most romantic relationship I ever had was with a Virgo who literally over rode every single cool thing I said.
Virgo: I will pick you up at 7.
Aqua: I think I'm busy
Virgo: No you're not, be ready.
Aqua: Oo er....

I adored it!
If he genuinely tries to wheedle his way out of it act completely unfazed.

"No problem, I'll catch up (don't say you'll call, this is the trick)I'll catch up with you in a few weeks. Bye.
No pressure see. Remember...long leash....don't tug!

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pjeff
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posted May 18, 2008 02:57 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you Bunnie,
I will try this. It's funny because my instinct told me that this is how I should be. I guess I backed down a bit because i didnt want to come off as being to controlling, like how you said about giving a long leash.
I will do this and let you know how things turn out.
Thanks again

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bunnies
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posted May 18, 2008 04:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bunnies     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Good luck sweetie.
But remember.Always hold yourself in high regard.
Try this only once. Do not waste your energy on people who care little for your feelings. If he doesn't reciprocate then release him and move on.
You sound like a wonderful and adventurous human being. Never let anyone force you to compromise that, so you can be with them.
Someone out there is worthy of you xx

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hippichick
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posted May 18, 2008 09:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ladies, I am going to turn the tables on my own thread, here.

I met a wonderful Pisces man the other eve...

Wants to take me to dinner.

So refreshing, to be in the presence of warm, friendly, and I repeat WARM energy, as opposed to the presence of absence...the cold, airy Aqua energy....

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bunnies
Knowflake

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posted May 19, 2008 04:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bunnies     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Does he have a brother!!

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