posted November 26, 2013 10:29 AM            

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Originally posted by Rosalind:
Me at 19. I considered myself EXTREMELY MATURE for that age that I wanted to make a baby with a man I didnt love just to save his life ( yes, he had leukemia). Even considering myself EXTREMELY mature for that age I knew I wasnt mature at all despite my good intentions. I'm now 27 and I know what I didnt know then: a child isnt an object and raising him is VERY difficult and implies a great responsability. If that man would have died, I would have been now a single mum. Do you know what that means? I don't think so.

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posted November 26, 2013 10:30 AM            

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Originally posted by 12muddy:

Who are you to say that it isn't love.

To me, love and partnership are intertwined in marriage. Because you applied that "rule" on yourself, your life will reflect those rules. You will probably find your kind of love. I already have mine. I follow my guts and my heart. Lol time will show that my way is good for me.

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posted November 26, 2013 10:37 AM            

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Originally posted by Rosalind:
Happy with a lot of frustration and trauma in their heart. Life is hard, I know that very well, but to say that a person who has gone through a misscarriage is a happy person, its wrong. Losing a child is devasting thing that no happiness can shed. Don't kid yourself. Couples who gone through this are survivors not happy.

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Lol trauma isn't a stranger to me. I had miscarriages, I know couples who experienced trauma together. Those things brought us grief. But they don't erase any good thing in our life. What I meant about happiness is that we have a love that is strong and enduring, we're happy because our bonds can't be broken, but strengthened.

posted November 26, 2013 10:40 AM            

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
Lol trauma isn't a stranger to me. I had miscarriages, I know couples who experienced trauma. Those things brought us grief. What I meant about happiness is that we have hope, and we have a love that is strong and enduring.

My husband is supportive and understanding. I'm happy to have all of that in my life. People can go through hardships, and be happy.

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posted November 26, 2013 10:45 AM            

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Originally posted by Rosalind:
LOL. OK. So do you think love is about rules? How wrong you are. Just because you and your husband have been together since children that doesn't mean you are the happiest and perfect couple. No. You cannot affirm that. You didnt live your life. Marriage is about love not about marrying your best friend or because that person is the one who can stand you. Thats settling for less. Love isnt about compromise. Marriage isnt an agreement where two people must be together because they've been through a lot of things. No. Love is about choice, is about feeling complete and feeling that nothing is missing, that you got everything you WANTA AND NEED. I could have married my best friend since age 19. I would have been now DIVORCED. Why? Because my best friend isnt the right person for me to marry. My best friend isnt the person with whom I must share my life to kill loneliness. No. When I marry I want to be in love, I want to look at me and be proud of the person I've become, I want to look back and say: every tear I shed, every dissapointment or rejection I lived brought me here, living the happiest day of my life with a man I love and loves me and making a new step in my life. Past is past, lessons were learned, now I have what I want and need. Saturn has rewarded me greatly.

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We're happy. I didn't say that we're the happiest couple. Lol how can there be contest.

Rules? Nah. You said that life is divided into stages. You applied that rule. Not I, I follow my heart and my gut.

Who said that I married my best friend? LOLOL Rosalind you're assuming an aweful lot.

posted November 26, 2013 10:47 AM            

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
We're happy. I didn't say that we're the happiest couple. Lol how can there be contest.

Rules? Nah. You said that life is divided into stages. You applied that rule. Not I, I follow my heart and my gut.

Who said that I married my best friend? LOLOL Rosalind you're assuming an aweful lot.

We're not together because we went through stuff together. We're together because we're in love, and going through things strengthened that love. Like I said previously, we know what we want and need, and we find it in each other.

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posted November 26, 2013 10:49 AM            

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Originally posted by Rosalind:
Again. After a misscarriage one cannot be FULLY happy. Understand that. You can be happy after a divorce or anything else but not from a loss of a child. Never. That child is part of you.

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Who's talking about fully happy? As adults, we know that life is full of moments of happiness and sadness. How can one ask for the absolute.

posted November 26, 2013 10:53 AM            

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
Who's talking about fully happy? As adults, we know that life is full of moments of happiness and sadness. How can one ask for the absolute.

Happiness doesn't only come to people who haven't experienced trauma. I'm happy because although I experienced trauma, I still have my life, my love and a new life in me. That lost child will be held in my heart. That's acceptance.

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posted November 26, 2013 10:53 AM            

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Originally posted by Rosalind:
I don't assume things. I am posting in base of your posts. And FINE. We'll talk in a few years. If by then you are still with him, I will apologize and correct my mistake.

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In base of my post? LOL dear me show me a post where I've said anything that could meant that my marriage is based on an arrangement or whatever lol

posted November 26, 2013 10:54 AM            

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
In base of my post? LOL dear me show me a post where I've said anything that could meant that my marriage is based on an arrangement or whatever lol

LOL hope that LL still opens then. For my part, I already have seen couples who are like that, so yeah, off to a happy life.

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posted November 26, 2013 10:56 AM            

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Originally posted by Rosalind:
Aha. You are still not an adult, though. At least not a mature one.

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posted November 26, 2013 10:57 AM            

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Originally posted by Rosalind:
Best of luck.

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posted November 26, 2013 11:00 AM            

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
Lol I know better than to think that after experienced trauma, one can't be happy

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posted November 26, 2013 11:08 AM            

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Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
Is that supposed to aimed at me....I'm not 19 and I'm extremely mature for my age. by the time I do reach that age I hope to already be married. I'll be done with college and enjoying my life even more than I already am. When it comes down to it age is only a number. Maturity** is the key to everything.

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In a few years you'll be laughing at this extreme maturity of yours.

Anyway, I too think people should get married rather later than sooner. If I cared about marriage and had someone I'd like to marry, first I would make sure it has strong potential to last forever and that would take some time.

posted November 26, 2013 11:08 AM            

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Originally posted by Rosalind:
If you think life is what you see in the movies, you are wrong.

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My life isn't like a movie. But I know how to make the best of my situations.

posted November 26, 2013 11:13 AM            

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
My life isn't like a movie. But I know how to make the best of my situations.

I've survived abuse, attempted murder and some other funny things. Accept that sometimes life is kinda **** , what else to do but move on? I turned out ok, I still have thirst for life and hope for the future. I'm happy now, and well in the future, if bad things happen again, I'll be sad but I'll get over it again. There are plenty of others like me.

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posted November 26, 2013 11:28 AM            

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Originally posted by Rosalind:
You are talking like you are the only one who has been through all of that and who claims that there is happiness after suffering. Darling, maybe it is for YOU but not for everyone. You are not some kind of hero. Get over it. People like you are a MINORITY. People should be strong but in some cases they simply cannot be. They love too much, they cannot accept, they are tired of suffering and grief, they CANNOT be happy after such pain. Please, understand that people are not the same. Just situations are.
Mental houses would be empty of mothers who lost their mind after losing a child, the suicide rate would be lower and so on. Isnt that simple. Some people DON'T and CAN'T move on. They SEEM to do that but only they know the pain in their soul and how hard is to be happy when life has hit you so hard and cruel.

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This is what you wrote:

Happy with a lot of frustration and trauma in their heart. Life is hard, I know that very well, but to say that a person who has gone through a misscarriage is a happy person, its wrong. Losing a child is devasting thing that no happiness can shed. Don't kid yourself. Couples who gone through this are survivors not happy.

--> I told my story because you keep saying similar things. Not because I want to claim all the hurt in the world, or said that is possible for everyone. I don't disagree with what you said that there are people who can't move on.

I simply get the vibes that you're insinuating that I think life is a movie and it's gonna collapse on me lol. And I told my story so that you know that I'm not living in my head. There are people who can be happy, so when you meet us, don't try to tell us that what we can't experience happiness.

posted November 26, 2013 11:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Rosalind:
Me at 19. I considered myself EXTREMELY MATURE for that age that I wanted to make a baby with a man I didnt love just to save his life ( yes, he had leukemia). Even considering myself EXTREMELY mature for that age I knew I wasnt mature at all despite my good intentions. I'm now 27 and I know what I didnt know then: a child isnt an object and raising him is VERY difficult and implies a great responsability. If that man would have died, I would have been now a single mum. Do you know what that means? I don't think so.

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posted November 26, 2013 11:32 AM            

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
Lol trauma isn't a stranger to me. I had miscarriages, I know couples who experienced trauma together. Those things brought us grief. But they don't erase any good thing in our life. What I meant about happiness is that we have a love that is strong and enduring, we're happy because our bonds can't be broken, but strengthened.

My husband is supportive and understanding. I'm happy to have all of that in my life. People can go through hardships, and be happy.

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posted November 26, 2013 11:36 AM            

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
This is what you wrote:

Happy with a lot of frustration and trauma in their heart. Life is hard, I know that very well, but to say that a person who has gone through a misscarriage is a happy person, its wrong. Losing a child is devasting thing that no happiness can shed. Don't kid yourself. Couples who gone through this are survivors not happy.

I told my story because you keep saying similar things. Not because I want to claim all the hurt in the world, or said that is possible for everyone. I don't disagree with what you said that there are people who can't move on.

I simply get the vibes that you're insinuating that I think life is a movie and it's gonna collapse on me lol. And I told my story so that you know that I'm not living in my head.

And it is all from my previous posts, couples who went through stuff together, it strengthened their love.

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posted November 26, 2013 11:44 AM            

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Originally posted by Rosalind:
NOT ALWAYS. What you are saying DOES NOT happen to everybody!!!! People divorce after an affair or because of money SO EASILY. Do you really think a greater pain than a loss of a child can keep them together? If you think so, its your problem but look around you. Take a look at the people who have it everything, are happy and so on and STILL choose to end their lives. Are they truly happy? No. They are not. Why? Because in their heart these is too much pain UNHEALED, there is too much frustration, anger, resentment and many other bad things that cannot be healed by love. There are things STRONGER than love. Things that can mark a person forever. If you haven't live it, don't say you understand. Don't say people can be happy when we know they aren't. YES,a life is about MOVING on but moving on from past experiences DOES not guarantee a happy FUTURE.

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Yawn. You said that life isn't like a move. I said that my life isn't like a movie but I know how to make the best of my situations. From the start I make it clear that it was about me, and in previous posts - about people who I know. When did I say it happens to everybody. What I say is that it is possible.

Pain itself don't keep people together. I said that going through it strengthened the love, in my case, and in the case of people I know. And that contributes to happiness.

I understand my situation well enough. I didn't insinuate about other people's situations. LOL can't say the same about you. You keep pulling stuff out of nowhere.

Don't keep saying that we can't be happy, when we are lol

posted November 26, 2013 11:47 AM            

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Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
For someone who is 27 you sure don't seem or talk(in our case type) like it. What's with all of the attitude? I'm 21 and have been through entirely waaaaay too much in my short time. "Making a baby" with someone isn't and doesn't make you more or less mature than anyone. This is an astrology forum where you can think, say and write whatever you want and feel. Stop strong arming everyone here and shoving your opinion down people's throats. Your question was to people who agreed or disagreed with what you said. Calm down a little, no need to be so aggressive.

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You have no IDEA what are you talking about. I do. You are still 21. We'll talk in a few years. You think I am superior than you and rightful to tell you than you are immature? Yes, I am. Why? Because you have no fricking idea what my life has been since birth, you have no idea what is suffering and pain from a fragile age so don't tell you are mature because you are not. I opened this topic to state my opinion as an astrologer and what I think of people who marry young. Its my OPINION to think people younger than me are immature because THEY are. They still have A LOT more than me to learn.
Do you how EXTREMELY MATURE I thought I was at your age? You have no idea. Do you think I'm agressive? No, this is my way of being. I will never consider people younger than me mature. Why? Because your time has no come yet. Mine did. You think saving one's life doesn't make me more or less mature? DO YOU REALLY KNOW what this thing implies? SACRIFICE. A thing at 19 didnt know what meant. Now I know. When you will reach my age, you will know to. What's mature for you? Getting married and having kids? Everyone can do that. A priest and a bed will suffice. What comes after that is what immature people cannot handle. You said you want to get married BEFORE that age. OK. Wanna bet you'll be divorces in less that 3 years and a single mother?

posted November 26, 2013 11:50 AM            

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
Yawn. You said that life isn't like a move. I said that my life isn't like a movie but I know how to make the best of my situations. From the start I make it clear that it was about me, and in previous posts - about people who I know. When did I say it happens to everybody. What I say is that it is possible.

Pain itself don't keep people together. I said that going through it strengthened the love, in my case, and in the case of people I know. And that contributes to happiness.

I understand my situation well enough. I didn't insinuate about other people's situations. LOL can't say the same about you. You keep pulling stuff out of nowhere.

Don't keep saying that we can't be happy, when we are lol

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posted November 26, 2013 11:54 AM            

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Originally posted by Rosalind:
And you don't keep saying and pretending people can be happy when they are not. I keep pulling stuff from nowhere? You are kidding right? Where do you live? On Pandora? Just because you are happy does not mean EVERYBODY is. I'm done with you. I made my point, you didnt. This discussion goes nowhere. Have a happy life.

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Again. I've never talked about everybody. Where did you find that my post said that lol???

Like I said, it is a possible situation, not just for me, but for the ones I know - who I included in my previous post. LOL you're fatalistic, so when I say I'm happy and know people who are, you don't think it's possible and say that I "pretend" lolz. Keep putting words in my mouth. You're a lost case.