posted February 11, 2013 01:36 PM            

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Originally posted by andstuff:
@Dreaming

I wouldn't condemn people with values different from yours

I would NEVER sleep with a virgin/late bloomer

If there's no buyer there's a 99.9% probability that something's wrong with the product, id rather not give it a chance.

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posted February 11, 2013 01:41 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Actually, a lot of those ARE learned from experience. Take eating for example, just to get more food in than out takes some babies a long time to learn. And then there's table manners, how to use silverware (or chopsticks, etc) proficiently, how not to burn yourself in preparing & handling food, how not to disgust everyone around you, how to eat healthy, and...most of all...how to make food that's delicious and enjoyable rather than berries (careful they're not poisoned!) from the bush. That all takes years of learning & practice. Sure, anyone can pick an apple off the tree (and even then some have to learn not to pick up an apple off the ground!) but a person who has learned what to do can make apple pie, apple sauce, apple cinnamon biscuits, apple skillet, etc, which is far more pleasant than eating another apple. Many people take a lot of pride in their cooking skills (while others are derided for their unhealthy eating habits and uncouth table manners), and rightly so. Sure, anyone can eat, but to make eating enjoyable and fulfilling takes skill & practice.

Of course a lot of experience doesn't equal expertise. A person who ate a thousand apples off an apple tree could still not be able to serve up anything better or practice cleanliness or avoid being gross, and that's same for sex. For example, it's amazing to me how many men (even very experienced ones) believe that all he has to do to be good is to "be really big and last longer than 2 minutes." Not to mention a really important detail so many men don't even think of...well, this is not Sweet Peas so I won't say, so I'll just say that just like cooking & eating, there's plenty to learn, practice, and try.

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posted February 11, 2013 01:49 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Actually, a lot of those ARE learned from experience. Take eating for example, just to get more food in than out takes some babies a long time to learn. And then there's table manners, how to use silverware (or chopsticks, etc) proficiently, how not to burn yourself in preparing & handling food, how not to disgust everyone around you, how to eat healthy, and...most of all...how to make food that's delicious and enjoyable rather than berries (careful they're not poisoned!) from the bush. That all takes years of learning & practice. Sure, anyone can pick an apple off the tree (and even then some have to learn not to pick up an apple off the ground!) but a person who has learned what to do can make apple pie, apple sauce, apple cinnamon biscuits, apple skillet, etc, which is far more pleasant than eating another apple. Many people take a lot of pride in their cooking skills (while others are derided for their unhealthy eating habits and uncouth table manners), and rightly so. Sure, anyone can eat, but to make eating enjoyable and fulfilling takes skill & practice.

Of course a lot of experience doesn't equal expertise. A person who ate a thousand apples off an apple tree could still not be able to serve up anything better or practice cleanliness or avoid being gross, and that's same for sex. For example, it's amazing to me how many men (even very experienced ones) believe that all he has to do to be good is to "be really big and last longer than 2 minutes." Not to mention a really important detail so many men don't even think of...well, this is not Sweet Peas so I won't say, so I'll just say that just like cooking & eating, there's plenty to learn, practice, and try.

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I get what your saying about the difference between picking an apple and being a chef. There is a spectrum with cooking true. But I disagree that there is such a huge spectrum with sex.

For example, I am Indian. We are for the most part conservative about that. Majoirty will wait til marriage. But we also have invented the kama sutra. A bunch of conservative, majority virgin people invented the kama sutra. lol If that doesnt speak for itself then let me go on.

Look at porn. I admit I watch it. But when I look at the porn stars and amateurs I feel like they dont even do it properly. The look like dumb logs sitting on a guy making faces at the screen. Sorry I dont mean to offend anyone. : /

So to me experience with sex means nothing on the contrary I find it silly that people preach about needing or requiring experience.

Also on dating sites there are questions as to whether you would like someone with sexual experience with someone other than yourself. That makes no sense to me to answer *Yeah I need my future potential wife, husband to bang x number of chicks or guys.* Someone please explain that? I really genuinely dont get how that is attractive or desirable... :/

posted February 11, 2013 01:51 PM            

i think it is more complicated than to say if there are no buyers it must be a faulty product though people are complex and i have one friend who is BEYOND beautiful- i mean when i first saw her i literally gasped, when she walks down the street men just...stop, and she is 24 and a virgin, sorry 25 now! and a virgin- out of choice granted but still- she is actually very sexy it is just for religious reasons she is a virgin, she is more than just pretty though she is sexy to boot.

posted February 11, 2013 01:54 PM            

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Originally posted by Astra:
Did you ever consider the possibility that a virgin may be turning down offers? It is not hard to get sex. I've seen men sleep with the most crazed, psychotic, hideous women and vice versa. A lot of people (not saying everyone) will sleep with anyone who has a pulse. It doesn't matter who they are, what they look like or even whether they have terrible hygiene as long as they are physically able to have sex.

If ugly (both inside and out) and truly psychotic people can get sex, what makes you think an average looking and pleasant virgin can't?

One of my coworkers brags quite a bit about his prowess in bed since he is so experienced. It is true that he has slept with many women. However, experience does not necessarily indicate that a person is good in bed. Quality matters far more than quantity. The worst ones are those who do not care about their partner's pleasure. Virgin or not--as long as the person is considerate of others, eager to please and refuses to lie there like a dead fish, they will be good.

Also, each person likes different things. Something that may have driven one person wild in bed may be a complete turn off to someone else. That's why sleeping with plenty of people doesn't matter: each person has different preferences. A person who is good in bed actually learns what their individual partner likes.

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Yeah I agree. I have been asked a lot. And also any guy could brag about the number of women he has slept with and in reality half of them would be from a 1800 or adult friend finder...which to me is lame. lol

I mean what does that say about your ability to attract someone on so many levels aka mentally, emotionally, intellectually, other than the fact you have a hole and he has a pole?

I mean, who said virgins are the m* flipping ugliest people who have no idea how a plug works and trip over themselves as they walk down a sidewalk. I think that is extreme ignrance for someone to make a comment like that.

posted February 11, 2013 01:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Astra:
Did you ever consider the possibility that a virgin may be turning down offers? It is not hard to get sex. I've seen men sleep with the most crazed, psychotic, hideous women and vice versa. A lot of people (not saying everyone) will sleep with anyone who has a pulse. It doesn't matter who they are, what they look like or even whether they have terrible hygiene as long as they are physically able to have sex.

If ugly (both inside and out) and truly psychotic people can get sex, what makes you think an average looking and pleasant virgin can't?

One of my coworkers brags quite a bit about his prowess in bed since he is so experienced. It is true that he has slept with many women. However, experience does not necessarily indicate that a person is good in bed. Quality matters far more than quantity. The worst ones are those who do not care about their partner's pleasure. Virgin or not--as long as the person is considerate of others, eager to please and refuses to lie there like a dead fish, they will be good.

Also, each person likes different things. Something that may have driven one person wild in bed may be a complete turn off to someone else. That's why sleeping with plenty of people doesn't matter: each person has different preferences. A person who is good in bed actually learns what their individual partner likes.

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Yeah I agree. I have been asked a lot. And also any guy could brag about the number of women he has slept with and in reality half of them would be from a 1800 or adult friend finder...which to me is lame. lol

I mean what does that say about your ability to attract someone on so many levels aka mentally, emotionally, intellectually, other than the fact you have a hole and he has a pole?

I mean, who said virgins are the m* flipping ugliest people who have no idea how a plug works and trip over themselves as they walk down a sidewalk. I think that is extreme ignrance for someone to make a comment like that.

posted February 11, 2013 01:56 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
That's a false assumption to believe the only reason someone is a virgin/late bloomer is because no one would get that close to them, and a ridiculous one given how plenty of men will go for any crack they can find and how easy it often is for a man to pay for sex if he were really that determined to lose his virginity.

And besides, maybe there's something to be said about being chosen by someone so discriminating.

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Hey I didnt know that you were being neutral here. I have to apologize if in that cooking reply I might have said something harsh. : /

posted February 11, 2013 01:57 PM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
I think there are so many Scorpio Pluto people who have waited longer than usual. It's the "I am serious cat. Sex is serious situation" generation!

If you're wondering about people with sexual problems/issues whether emotional or physical, I'd go with Mars in either Scorpio, Pisces or Capricorn.... or.....Mars in harsh aspect to Pluto,Neptune, Uranus or Saturn.

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posted February 11, 2013 01:59 PM            

just i have never heard anyone with the views you have - its kinda funny to me! sorry but you just sound like hmm i dont know - it does sound like you are judging others choices by saying things like ''something used and tattered'' etc.

im not offended at all, just....amused- i think virgins can be very HOT like something untouched and ripe hahaha i would be interested in a guy who was a virgin if he was around the 21 22 mark- any older and um no!

posted February 11, 2013 02:02 PM            

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Originally posted by andstuff:
@Astra, PixieJane

Lets look at it differently: if the person doesn't want/need romantic love and relationships and doesn't have them then fine, I sure can respect that.

Just like with money, I wouldn't condemn a person with modest demands for making too little money.

BUT I think that if one needs something one should work towards it and use ones head to come by it. Otherwise what's in the way?

A virgin guy in his late 20s ??? Naah thank you

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Again your opinion. And it is valid so long as it suits your lifestyle.

I know have to call you out for condemning a virgin male. Because now you are using your set of glasses to judge someone which in your previous message you called me out for.

I actually would prefer a guy, who had some sort of filter. It just works for me that he has a need for a certain type of woman. I know the guys that sleep around might only require that a person have a hole and that would be good enough. To me that kind of guy would never ever in a million years be attractive I dont care how many muscles or sparkles he has in his eyes. lol I would turn him down so fast he wouldnt know what hit him.

posted February 11, 2013 02:03 PM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
Basically what I want you to understand is when women say they want a good and honest man... what they mean us "a good and honest man" out of that pool of men that they feel an attraction towards... Not just any random "good" man.

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posted February 11, 2013 02:05 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Basically what I want you to understand is when women say they want a good and honest man... what they mean us "a good and honest man" out of that pool of men that they feel an attraction towards... Not just any random "good" man.

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posted February 11, 2013 02:08 PM            

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Originally posted by Jessica2407:
But I think if a woman is saying out loud for everyone to hear that she wants a ''good and honest man'' She needs to be able to put her foot down when she finds out that the guy she has fallen for is actually a player. I know a girl who is going with a guy for 2 years and she knows pretty well that he is a player but still can't make the right move to get rid of him and has the audacity to tell me that she craves for something more serious. I often do not have patience for women like her, so I will be quite blunt. If you say you want a honest man, look for men who are honest not men who only want to screw around!

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posted February 11, 2013 02:12 PM            

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Originally posted by peregrine:
i think people with your views meet people with your views eventually and stay together forever coz well okay idk y lol but they do. my cousin uttered something about companionship but he was just speaking jibberish to me. if i want that i have a really cute dog that is the funniest. but seriously i've seen it quite a few times with the older gen and said cousin. he was also a cancer. it's just that i've been there. i am v v conservative. or was lol! sometimes it just doesn't work out to your favor. i thought my first was going to be forever lol! turned out to be a year and a half or so.

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True dont get me wrong. I sometimes question that while everyone is sleeping around that if I am making a silly choice to wait. Idk.

You are right that it might not turn out in my favor. I might never get a guy or worse get a really funky one. lol

Ah well.

Just doing what makes sense for me.
I cant deal with too much baggage. Emotionally we all have it but I think sexually then it adds another dimension. Just my life is already complicated dont need anymore headache and drama.

I dont like feeling unappreciated and used. Like you that would be my worst nightmare to have loved someone enough to sleep wtih thim only to have it end. It would then seem pointless to have been so picky.

But in your situation I think that you actually felt it would be forever so that is ok. I mean, to me you didnt just say *hey you have a pole and I gotta hole. lets play.* I feel your situation is much different. You waited for the right person. Even I have fallen for someone whom I thought was the right person only to realize he was not. What if I slept with him? It could have happened. Lucky for me I didnt let it and he too was a virgin waiting for marriage. (He was lebanese btw.) I mean, I felt like he was the one. Boy was a I wrong wrong WRONG! lol

Even then I felt emotionally used. I cant imagine what someone goes through if he/she feels like the other person is the one and gives that person their best and most vulnerable intimate love just to have it unappreciated. So in your case, you arent someone that is too different from me.

posted February 11, 2013 02:15 PM            

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Originally posted by andstuff:
well, i personally think that late bloomers would get too obsessed when they finally get their hands on a romantic relationship. this is something i don't want and don't need. i want as much as someone who knows how to act around the opposite sex and doesn't stammer when asking out for a coffee - late bloomers are more prone to do this than others.

i have seen too many guys who have that wistful air of Waiting! For! The! One!, that horrible emotional hunger, all that unwasted libido and whatnot - help me God to run away.

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But again you assume that a late bloome is a social incompetent. A lot of late bloomers I know are really educated and good looking and not some dorky looking person that bumps into walls. I mean come on!

And I think that if someone you love is obsessed with you and thinking only of you that would be a great thing. Why wouldnt you want someone that into you?

posted February 11, 2013 02:22 PM            

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Originally posted by peregrine:
^it's sex. not logic. u cannot quantify sex appeal or energy and say this man is a druggie that doesn't have a job. therefore he is not sexy or worthy of bedding women.

haven't u seen someone dance or sing and just want to bed them? it's the vibration and the giving off of this energy and that it is intangible and irrational that makes it so interesting.

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Im guessing Tiger Woods a rich, successful man gave tons of vibration....
lol

posted February 11, 2013 02:23 PM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
Basically you can have chemistry with another completely regardless of whether or not they are a virgin or a drug addict, employed or unemployed IMO
Whether or not you act on the chemistry is another matter.

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posted February 11, 2013 02:27 PM            

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Originally posted by Dreaming111:
I thought I clearly said it was just my opinion as to what I want for MY life and that I was not forcing it down anyone elses throat. I do have that right to speak freely. You have all the right to disagree.

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well you seemed to be judgmental of others' choices

granted, what i said might have been judgmental too

but i'm not condemning anyone. i just made a choice not to sleep with virgins, not to date guys without emotional experience/relationship history. just because i've had mad love in my life and i would need someone similar to me. not promiscuous, but not a tabula rasa either.

my friend is currently having a lot of "fun" dealing with a late bloomer she gave a chance. he's totally f**king her brains out, mental mental mental.

if we assume that a virgin is a person who cannot find love - most prob it is caused by not being able to associate with the right people, not being part of the "right" scene. if the scene was right, a suitable partner would have turned up years ago.

posted February 11, 2013 02:32 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by peregrine:
[b] many women are like this too and they are single. i suppose because they are base requirements. almost everybody strives to be "good". most people are educated and work. with nothing to differentiate them from everyone else. i might call this mediocrity even.

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You know,...you should consider who the person is that calls you a loser. I mean is it coming from the mouth of a loser who aims to project his/her flaws onto you?

Also maybe that person is really confident and feels that he/she is flawless and is convinced you are a loser for not sleeping with X number of women. I also know really nutty, tin hat type of people who are confident too! I know tons of narcissists that feel they are flawless and Gods gift. lol

Just know who the person is who passes judgement on you. Not everyones words have or should have equal weight. A praise from your mother might be more worthy than a praise from someone that wants something from you.

Also, why do you want to be praised by someone who does not share your values or at the very least disrespects you for having those values?

The right girl for you will value the fact that you have some level of standard and do pass up other women to be with her. It would be flattering to her instead of laughable.

You are not a loser and not defective. It is a different lifestyle choice.

You might see the baby daddy who has tons to backed child support to pay, enough to push him into bankruptcy as a real loser. Again it is a matter of perspective and what you value.

posted February 11, 2013 02:37 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by peregrine:
[b] and what kind of women did your father attract? would you be into those types of women? (i don't mean your mom btw.)

you can have tons of experience without being promiscuous. just have longer relationships.

so u blame... women?

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[/B][/QUOTE]

Porn actresses are desired a lot would you want her to have your kids? lol
Seriously...
Tiger Woods was desirable. I wouldnt touch the man with a taser.

Lots of women have had plenty of guys and they have horrid lives. Who cares that people like that or consider that hot and smexy. Big whoop.

If what you value is different from mainstream you are a minority and cannot expect a majority of people to therefore agree. It is somethign you and everyone who has a non mainstream view deals with. Again big deal. We dont follow the grain.