posted February 11, 2013 04:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Also, fact is, a lot of good, honest men are married to women.

If women only liked players, then it would follow that the only married men were jerks.

Aquaguy, are you saying that all married men are simply jerks? Because according to your view of things, they couldn't have sustained a woman's interest without being dishonest, playing games, and so on.

That all married men are second rate is the logical conclusion to your argument.

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posted February 11, 2013 04:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

have ya'll even read what i have been saying? lol first off i never said it was all women, not once have i said that . and also as i have said before i'm talking about girls of my generation, most of them are not married are they?

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posted February 11, 2013 04:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dreaming111:
This isnt a competition. Is it in your mind?

There are no prizes at the end of this ride just letting you know. Relax.

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posted February 11, 2013 04:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by starfairy:
^^ do all your friends encounter the same problems with women as you do?

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posted February 11, 2013 04:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
You have a point, but you are still incriminating the men who are in stable relationships with women of your generation/location.

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posted February 11, 2013 05:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
all my closest friends do, yes.. my brother even has problems as far as i know... two of my friends who have problems with women are really good looking guys no homo and have great personalities, but yet they really struggle.. my brother has always been considered the good looking guy in our family and has a good job making good money and is a really standup guy... but yet i have never seen him with a girlfriend and i found a pua book up at his house not too long ago, theres something wrong with that picture imo... also i have talked to tons and tons of guys on the net going through the same thing and have the same experiences... are we all crazy?lol because i tend to think where theres smoke,theres fire.

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well i have ISSUES with men who think what they point their finger at should be theirs, i've come across this attitude. these hungry-for-love eyes, this non-stop expectations that ONE MAGIC ENCOUNTER will turn their lives around. then they set eyes on me and project all this sh1t on me. then they get surprised i don't care about their existence. SO cool to blame the girl for not liking you. yeah right. my mother taught me to seek the reason within myself. which is why i get mad at people who don't

posted February 11, 2013 05:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by andstuff:
well i have ISSUES with men who think what they point their finger at should be theirs, i've come across this attitude. these hungry-for-love eyes, this non-stop expectations that ONE MAGIC ENCOUNTER will turn their lives around. then they set eyes on me and project all this sh1t on me. then they get surprised i don't care about their existence. SO cool to blame the girl for not liking you. yeah right. my mother taught me to seek the reason within myself. which is why i get mad at people who don't

sexual freedom is the right of both sexes, if there's no attraction there's no attraction

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posted February 11, 2013 05:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by andstuff:
well i have ISSUES with men who think what they point their finger at should be theirs, i've come across this attitude. these hungry-for-love eyes, this non-stop expectations that ONE MAGIC ENCOUNTER will turn their lives around. then they set eyes on me and project all this sh1t on me. then they get surprised i don't care about their existence. SO cool to blame the girl for not liking you. yeah right. my mother taught me to seek the reason within myself. which is why i get mad at people who don't

sexual freedom is the right of both sexes, if there's no attraction there's no attraction

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posted February 11, 2013 05:12 PM            

Men are also guilty of this. Some of them claim they want a nice, good girl who has self respect, knows how to hold a conversation, are humble .. etc.. etc.. and yet, end up being attracted to those who play mind games (ie that's the theory the book men love bitches is based on).

It seems that there is a huge gap between what people want and what they're attracted to. It's a constant struggle that basically everyone faces at some point. Sometimes it takes people a lot of failed relationship to realize that they're the ones being attracted to the wrong type of people for them.

posted February 11, 2013 05:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
all my closest friends do, yes.. and i recently discover my brother has problems,atleast i got a major clue that he is struggling. two of my friends who have problems with women are really good looking guys no homo and have great personalities, but yet they really struggle.. my brother has always been considered the good looking guy in our family and has a good job making good money and is a really standup guy... but yet i have never seen him with a girlfriend and i found a pua book up at his house not too long ago, theres something wrong with that picture imo... also i have talked to tons and tons of guys on the net going through the same thing and have the same experiences... are we all crazy?lol because i tend to think where theres smoke,theres fire.

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Okay, wow, that's pretty surprising. Though, there is that old saying that women like jerks. There are a lot of sites out there with theories as to why this happens. Here's one:
http://stirringthemudpuddle.blogspot.ca/2012/05/why-women-love-jerks.html

The reasons the blog lists for why *SOME* women like jerks is because: a relaitonship with a jerk is addictive (jerks are more 'exciting'), women are attracted to confident/dominant men, women like a challenge, and so on.

While we both agree that all women are not like this, it certainly happens. All women are different, after all.

Like you pointed out, it could be a generational thing. With time and experience, women learn what they truly want in a mate. You'll find that older women aren't as attracted to jerks. You mentioned your mom likes jerks, but I'm sure there are astrological influences in her chart which could explain why. My mom has never been attracted to jerks, and neither has my 32 year-old sister. Her fiance is the nicest "Nice guy" you'll ever meet.

Some women are completely addicted to jerks, though. I read the chart of a friend of mine who is like this. Her Moon is in Pisces, and her Venus opposes her Neptune. She always ends up with jerks (i.e. cheaters, liars, players) because she is super forgiving, and tends to focus on a guy's good side, and is completely blind to his bad side. She holds on to the idea that the guy will change, but he never does. I know a guy like that, too.

posted February 11, 2013 05:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ueharaa:
^^ aquaguy, I haven't read all of your posts so I may not understand the issue altogether.
It's true, many men complain about women being attracted to guys who are different than those they claim they want.

Men are also guilty of this. Some of them claim they want a nice, good girl who has self respect, knows how to hold a conversation, are humble .. etc.. etc.. and yet, end up being attracted to those who play mind games (ie that's the theory the book men love bitches is based on).

It seems that there is a huge gap between what people want and what they're attracted to. It's a constant struggle that basically everyone faces at some point. Sometimes it takes people a lot of failed relationship to realize that they're the ones being attracted to the wrong type of people for them.

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I TOTALLY agree with this.

There's that book called "Why men love bitches". I can give you soo many examples of men I know who are really addicted to the drama.

As always, astrological influences can tell us which kind of men/women like drama/challenges/turmoil in relationships, and those who don't. Everyone is different.

posted February 11, 2013 05:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
who never said sexual freedom isnt the right of all people? i certainly didnt... ya wanna know what really frustrates about the whole issue? the fact that 99% of girls my age claim they want a decent guy who wants a serious relationship, but yet you watch them and they are hooking up with bad boy types.. now thats all fine and dandy, its a free country, but i wish they would be honest about it.. thats it, thats my issue with the whole thing

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girls want vibes and coolness

posted February 11, 2013 05:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
ya wanna know what really frustrates about the whole issue? the fact that 99% of girls my age claim they want a decent guy who wants a serious relationship, but yet you watch them and they are hooking up with bad boy types.

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See...again. You're implying that 99% of the guys who are in relationships with girls your age are bad. Because otherwise, girls wouldn't want them.

posted February 11, 2013 05:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
See...again. You're implying that 99% of the guys who are in relationships with girls your age are bad. Because otherwise, girls wouldn't want them.

Do you really want to generalize against MEN that way?

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posted February 11, 2013 06:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
no... thats not what i'm saying at all...i'm saying the vast majority of girls my age claim to want serious relationships with decent guys, but alot of those girls end up hooking up bad boy types, which is fine.. but i wish they would honest about that, instead of giving guys like me the wrong idea... you see the problem is i'm the type of guy who wants a real relationship, i dont play games and i want a girl who is the same way... all the girls i have ever talked to claimed to want real relationships with decent guys, yet most of the ones i hear say this end up hooking up with players... my problem is i have wasted time on these girls because they lied to me.. also it makes it hard for me to believe anything women say anymore to be completely honest. now i realize there are women out there who are honest when they say that,but when alot of them are lying about the same thing it makes it hard to believe them.

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Don't think of it as the girl being dishonest with you. Oftentimes girls get "swindled" or sucked in by a "bad boy".

No, they really don't want one, and say they dont but then it happens for reasons too long to list here.

So, I'd not think of it as they are lying to you when they say they want a good guy. But often bad boys are so great at portraying themselves as good boys at the beginning and especially a girl who grew up with a horrible father figure, or who is desperate for love, will fall for that. Even though deep down in their heart they are looking for a "good boy". They don't often see it right aways. And end up what other guys deem "bad boys".

The bad boy acts like a good boy just long enough to hook her in and then lets his true colors show. And by then, it's too late for the female, because they have hormonal changes and attatchemnts that happent after sex with a guy, that guys don't get. Yes, this is a proven fact. So, it's not as easy for her to let go of the guy, when he could go out and sleep with someone behind her back and think nothing of it.

Come on aquaguy!!! You have to have enough guy friends by now to have seen that happen sometimes!

Don't put it all on the female! & have some compassion while youre at it. Most chicks these days have grown up with some horrible father figures.

posted February 11, 2013 06:12 PM            

quote:

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i'm the type of guy who wants a real relationship, i dont play games and i want a girl who is the same way...

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That's great but those are just qualities that you have. They don't substitute for sexual attraction between two people.

From wiki, on sexual attraction:

quote:

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A person's physical appearance has a critical impact on their sexual attractiveness. This involves the impact one's appearance has on the senses, especially in the beginning of a relationship:

Visual perception (how the other looks and acts or moves, for example while dancing);

Audition (how the other's voice and movements sound);

Olfaction (how the other smells, naturally or artificially; the wrong smell may be repellent).

As with other animals, pheromones may also have an impact, though less significantly in the case of humans. Theoretically, the "wrong" pheromone may cause someone to be disliked, even when they would otherwise appear attractive. Frequently a pleasant smelling perfume is used to encourage the member of the opposite sex to more deeply inhale the air surrounding its wearer,[citation needed] increasing the probability that the pheromones from the individual will also be inhaled.

The importance of pheromones in human relationships is probably limited and is widely disputed,[unreliable source?][4] although it appears to have some scientific basis.

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posted February 11, 2013 06:17 PM            

quote:

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all the girls i have ever talked to claimed to want real relationships with decent guys, yet most of the ones i hear say this end up hooking up with players... my problem is i have wasted time on these girls because they lied to me.. also it makes it hard for me to believe anything women say anymore to be completely honest.

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Please read and re-read and research what I said above, aquaguy. They arent LYING to you.

I'm willing to bet that 99% of the time these females have been duped and ended up with what you and your boys would call a bad guy.

Those are the type of guys who can 'lay it on thick' and are very good at getting what they want. Then when they have the person duped enough, they turn into their @hole self and it's almost too late.

Please stop allowing yourself to thing that it's girls lying to you.

You should be more ****** off at your bros than the chicks that have had the wool pulled over their eyes by them.

posted February 11, 2013 06:19 PM            

The people who are attracted purely based on the *story-line* between the two of you... are not actually in touch with their instincts at all.. and are simply replaying situations from their past *with* you.. or whoever else is there.

A woman who is attracted to someone who seems to play the role of a 'bad boy' socially can fall under different categories:

1. She genuinely is into him and he is also into her... and what it looks like from the outside - is a complete misinterpretation of what's happening between them.

2. She is not actually INTO him personally... but because she has low self-esteem, father issues act... she is into the negative, emotionally hurtful story-line that he provides her with..

3. She has a Mother Mary complex and wants to fix everyone and make them better people.. so she has a desire to mother & save this guy whose life seems to be heading downhill - with drugs & bad behaviour.

posted February 11, 2013 06:20 PM            

I'd be more mad at your fellow men, than the poor girls falling for it. You should be more protective of them and stick up for them more. At least be more compassionate.

posted February 11, 2013 06:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
To be honest really nerdy awkward people are usually+25 virgins...
I'm a virgin but I'm only 20 and I always wait for some reason. I have the strong sexuality but I honestly feel like I'm waiting for someone, Most relationships end because of this reason.
Oh well

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posted February 11, 2013 06:29 PM            

Every single individual in this world has a SOUL.. They deserve to be treated like a human being and with respect.

They were born on a particular day, they have an individual birth chart (that is only theirs.. even twins have differences!).. They have their own family, friends. life experiences.. They have been affected by the cultural norms and social standards of the society they live in and they had their own individual childhood experience (upbringing is relevant as well!).

These individuals cannot be lumped together in a group called "bad boys".. who are interacting with another group called "women who are aquaguy's age"..
Every one of those women is AN individual.. and every one of those so-called 'bad boys' is an individual.
DON'T confuse a "social role" someone acquires.. with WHO they are deep down.

If you like someone FOR the social role they play - then you do not actually like them. It's false and BS and such relationships fizzle out.

Real relationships involve people interacting and getting to *know* each other.
At that point it does not matter whether the guy played or plays the social role of a 'bad boy'.

If a relationship lasts for a long time - it is usually because those people have something in common.. It's not for you to judge from the outside and say "oh he's not good enough" . or "she's not right for him".