posted September 03, 2015 07:09 PM            

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Originally posted by athenaia:
lmao CosmiqPhuz you are a true artiste!!!

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posted September 03, 2015 07:30 PM            

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Originally posted by fireopal09:
Taurus may be well known at the breast taverns, but Cancer will go broke there and take Crying Game showers afterwards. Scorpios will try to figure out which dancer does *ahem* side work. Leos will make them trophy wives.

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posted September 04, 2015 12:25 AM            

GEMINI: Always light, laughing and upbeat?? more like multiple personality disorder; have you met my evil twin?

CANCER: OMG, God forbid we talk about something controversial and have an in depth conversation, lets just hug all day instead and pretend that there is nothing wrong with the world, lets reject any information that indicates otherwise or on the other hand let any fear based information manipulate how I feel about a topic.

PISCES: Life is so stressful, let me drink or smoke all day and stick to what I am good at; 1. Live in my head, think about the mysterious of life and analyze everyone except myself 2. daydream or 3. transcend to another dimension while listening to music. Nobody understands me because I don't understand myself, half of the time I am just floating.

LIBRA: OH NO!! CONFLICT!!=MIGRAINES, please seriously go grow some thicker skin and get over it and sorry you are not the fairest of the land or you will not marry the fairest of the land, stop been so shallow.

CAPRICORN: Please do yourself and everyone else a favor and spend a bunch of money and go sky diving, get rid of that fear and poor mentality, liberate yourself. Do something wild or foolish every now and then.

VIRGO: You look so well put together and in control but you are a mess inside. Yep you are not perfect and never will be and neither will everyone else, accept what you cannot change and learn to love imperfection and find beauty in it.

AQUARIUS: Stop pretending you are a goody goody, deep down you are a wild child who is too afraid to let go of Saturn and get lost in Uranus.

ARIES: Can we say ADHD? Wow stop starting a new relationship, thought or job every five seconds, sit still and freaking focus! Yes you are going to have to wait for certain things, sometimes a long time and yes hard work will be part of life, things will not just instantly fall on your lap all the time for eternity and no you can not use force, intimidation or violence to get your way. (I dedicate this one to a client I have who is a kid and has moon in Aries)
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TAURUS: You put on this mask of traditional values and play that role in life but deep down you have a sex addiction and can't be faithful, now go get ready for church.

LEO: You only care about others because you want to be worshiped.

SAGITTARIUS: Let me ask you, who are you if we remove your religious beliefs, political ideology and degree? What is left? So the grass is greener in the other side huh? No its not, its greener were you water it so go water your backyard instead of changing jobs and moving to other countries or states every chance you get. Oh and since you like being blunt so much don't plan to murder someone when they are blunt to you!

posted September 04, 2015 12:40 AM            

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Originally posted by Gabby:
[b]Scorpio- you slimy back ally snake...you think you control the world but in reality you only surround yourself with weak, nieve ppl so it FEELS like you control the world. [/B]

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posted September 04, 2015 12:50 AM            

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Originally posted by GemBird82:
~ Oh and I think you guys were pretty rigth about Gemini being easily distracted...
But I honestly don't see it as something bad, I actually think that's cute as hell lol

~Ok, bye

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posted September 04, 2015 09:26 AM            

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
With your pisces moon, I imagine you'd willingly give me an arm to chew on, while trying to bring my sanity back.

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posted September 04, 2015 11:19 AM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
Word each sign says most:

Aries: Whatever
Taurus: Yum
Gemini: Me?
Cancer: Ouch
Leo: Mirrors!
Virgo: Ew
Libra: However....
Scorpio: F*ck
Sag: Awesome
Cap: NO
Aqua: Frankly...
Pisces: Awww

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posted September 04, 2015 11:21 AM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
Out of all my roasts which are the top 3 meanest in your opinion? I will let you know if I was thinking of myself or who I was thinking of when I wrote it?

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posted September 04, 2015 11:31 AM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
OMG You guys are hilarious
I'm in stitches!

I think Gemini is the most difficult to roast lol

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posted September 04, 2015 11:45 AM            

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Originally posted by Gabby:
@Hypatia
I love your roast....ESP your Taurus! Did you get that from your taurus clients? I ask because I've met several taurus men and the majority lied about having girlfriends/wives or significant others initially because they thought they could get me to "hang out"
2 of these men I had long term relationships(long distance) before I found out the truth. They always broke up with their partners after I found out but it was too late!

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Hahaha.

It's funny but I have never dated a Taurus but I made out with one who later informed he had a girlfriend who was a cancer and one time she found him at his apartment with a stripper and beat up the stripper, mutual friends informed me of this. They been together for years and he cheated a lot and was known for cheating, they kind of suck at it and get easily caught.

This guy I was hooking up with was a Taurus and I caught him on a date with another girl, I just kept walking.

But most importantly my sisters' husband fits that description according to her, the things she said were the main inspiration for that roast. Even before they got married, she thought he was cheating, we haven't talked about it again since they married.

posted September 04, 2015 12:02 PM            

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Originally posted by Gabby:
@cosmicphuz-

Can you write a story about how cappy would take over the world(getting rid of all the unworthy signs) based off this ⬇️....I was going to try to but I think your ideas would be much better than mine!

Capricorn-you stuffy boring gazillionare. When anyone has to be around you for to long, they can't help but to yawn. I'm not sure if it's sheer boredom that makes us yawn or if you have invented some device that sucks up all the air in the room saving it just for you, do you store it somewhere? Do you have air stockpiled up in some abandoned storehouse, like you do your money, it's ready just in case the atmosphere collapses and you need it to survive? I guess the rest of us just have to be ok with breathing the little bit you left for us to survive on. Your ok with that, we are dispensable, non essential members of society anyway. You almost wish the world would fall apart. Then you could use your DNA to repopulate the earth and finally have the very best of humanity to repopulate the world. You've have enough of these pathetic degenerates like libra, saggy and leo..ugh! Your always on top, in the boardroom, in the family, in bed....you want to sit pirched ontop of the world. Life just feels better when you have something or someone underneath you, below you...someone to step on. It feels so good to be ontop and look down on everyone.

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Actually, Gabby, yours is pretty good! I don't know if I can make it much better. It's funny though, your story sounds an awful lot like my dad. He's a Capricorn (cusping Aqua), and he went and donated his sperm because he honestly thinks he's that great and that the world would benefit more from people like him - no joke! Hahahahaha. He didn't even tell my mom. So for all I know, I've got half siblings running around!

Also, in case anyone missed it, I added a new story to the saga above. I'm busting on Aries for that one. Five posts from the top.

posted September 04, 2015 12:16 PM            

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Originally posted by CosmiqPhuz:
Actually, Gabby, yours is pretty good! I don't know if I can make it much better. It's funny though, your story sounds an awful lot like my dad. He's a Capricorn (cusping Aqua), and he went and donated his sperm because he honestly thinks he's that great and that the world would benefit more from people like him - no joke! Hahahahaha. He didn't even tell my mom. So for all I know, I've got half siblings running around!

Also, in case anyone missed it, I added a new story to the saga above. I'm busting on Aries for that one. Five posts from the top.

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posted September 04, 2015 12:20 PM            

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Originally posted by CosmiqPhuz:
Aries has always been an insensitive fellow. It's always been "his way or the highway". He cannot take "no" for an answer. Unfortunately, he pushed too far with a woman during a date back in March, landing him in jail for date rape. At 5' 5", 120 pounds, he is easily overpowered by the bigger inmates. One can imagine, the first couple months were ROUGH for Aries. For awhile, he put up a fight, but it was just useless...pathetically hopeless, actually. The bigger, stronger inmates would also delight in Arie's smaller frame, especially when he dropped the soap in the shower. It would remind them of the good old days, before prison, with their girlfriends and wives. Tired of being a joke, and yearning to be the best at something, Aries decided to devote himself to becoming the best jailhouse-b*tch-sex-toy the prison had ever known. While the other inmates would occupy their time with lifting weights, Aries worked on his pout, eyelash flutters, and groin/hip exercises. Soon, he had inmates lining up single file in the showers waiting to have a turn with him. Aries got so good and popular, the prison stopped conjugal visits due to lack of demand. Word got out about the "best jailhouse b*tch" ever, and people started committing crimes just so they could go to prison and experience Aries. Husbands were leaving their wives and children. Crime levels soared.

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