posted February 24, 2014 05:03 PM            

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f they are on equal footing with you, why would they mooch?

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Because they are selfish and insane
I've encountered wealthy mooches.

posted February 24, 2014 05:04 PM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
Also what you said about women inquiring about your career/wealth/status... that is indeed extremely annoying. Some men do the same thing.

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Another one. Where did you/do you go to school?

My response has always been: "I left after my first year in high school."

posted February 24, 2014 05:33 PM            

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
Because the guy don't want her there and they can get mean about it.

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posted February 24, 2014 05:43 PM            

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
Seeing as my college pretty much IS the town I live in, I mostly just meet fellow students. Initial questions would then be "where are you from?", "what do you study?", "what year?" and "do you know what you want to do after?". These are questions I would ask both girls and guys I meet though. I simply don't want to spend my time around people who go to college to "meet a husband" or to "I don't know, get a job maybe". Seeing as I have an idea of where I want to be FORTY years from this just doesn't sit well.

I would so date Mark Zuckerberg! He has a VISION! I simply meant that I wouldn't date a guy who was only out for the money as the most important thing. Because that IS boring to me. I don't know what we would talk about, I hate money! It is really confusing and boring and annoying to me. I like what money can do as it sustains my hobbies and my education... But that's it. I don't need heaps, just enough to sustain me. If I had more than that (ie. if I dated Mark Zuckerberg), I would probably donate most of it.

I agree with you though, don't get me wrong - I don't want a guy to control or direct me. I'm too independent for that. If someone tried to order for me I would flip! I won't even let guys pay for me. Let's put it this way... I'm definitely paying for my own coffee tomorrow.

I don't like the kind of assertiveness you are talking about either,

" That's not what I want. If a guy tried that I think he'd receive a slap from me pretty quickly. I just appreciate plain speaking and directness, that's all. I just wish more guys would be direct and ask out girls on dates, chat them up on facebook or get their number. All my friends seem to be having the same issue. They are too shy. Maybe they just need to grow up a little, I don't know. I'm really confused about it all. It may be because I'm not living in my native country and so the culture is slightly different and I'm not picking up on the nuances, but... I just can't quite figure it out.

Regarding what Aquaguy91 was talking about though, I have been guilty of what he is talking of. Sometimes I have left with friends just because I am tired of waiting for the guy to get to the point and just... ask me out or ask for my number etc. I realize it is probably a little lazy of me to expect the guy to "do all the work", but I just don't quite know how to take the initiative and whether it would be well received. People always talk about how the guys like to chase a girl. And to be honest... I also quite like to be chased.

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posted February 24, 2014 06:03 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
But that can be tricky because women can be very moody about timing, trust me. I know im going to get flak and get called a sexist for saying that but its true most of the time. You can be having a great interaction with a woman and completely kill it by asking for a number or making a move too quickly or being too slow about it. Frankly it can be exhausting trying to walk that tightrope and it all comes down to sheer luck. Im not complaining im just explaining this to you so you have an idea of why a man might be hesitant to make a move.

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posted February 24, 2014 06:12 PM            

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
I bet we are... But I think it comes down to over-analyzing more than moodiness. Girls read into everything guys do and respond accordingly. Most guys are, thankfully, much more straightforward than girls are. Gosh I would hate to be a guy! If I don't think guys are direct enough, I can't imagine what I would think of trying to hit on a girl. Thank god I don't swing that way, I don't think I would be able to handle it.

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posted February 24, 2014 06:46 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
And the thing is all women are different. Some want you to make a move immediately and some would freak the hell out if you did. Others want you to wait awhile and then make a move but if you wait too long they only see you as a friend and wont be interested in dating you. Others want to take it really slow and be friends before dating, but this type is rare from what I have seen. It can be really confusing. Personally I wish women were more vocal and direct, im not a mind reader.

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posted February 24, 2014 06:52 PM            

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
Well that is great news for me! I hope more guys feel the same way. I'm quite direct, I just don't like to take initiative that's all. But I don't play games. They are stupid, and a big turn-off. I'm partial to moodiness though... But it's still pretty transparent, and I don't drop it on people for no reason. If I'm moody it's probably because the guy is playing games and it's ******* me off.

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posted February 24, 2014 07:16 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I wish there was an instruction manual for dealing with women. Lol

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posted February 24, 2014 07:21 PM            

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
There is. It's called Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Lol.

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posted February 24, 2014 07:27 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Thats a good book but it is not indepth enough.

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Have you read it? I'm impressed. It's has been sitting untouched in my bookshelf for a couple of years now. I keep meaning to read it. Have you tried reading The Game? I looked into it once because I heard a guy mention that he was following it. He was such a douche and yet he had all these girls. It's quite chauvinistic though. You should perhaps not follow it if it is a girlfriend you are after.

posted February 24, 2014 07:31 PM            

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Originally posted by Sibyl:

Anyway I know I keep complaining about guys, but I actually think I would hate it if it was too easy. I like a challenge.

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posted February 24, 2014 07:47 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Thats how I know you are a woman.lol a guy would never say that... Women are complicated enough as it is. We dont want them making a concentrated effort to make matters more complicated than they already are. I think most guys want things to be as simple as possible. Doubly so for me because I have aspergers. Lol

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Yes I know. Our contradictions define us. That is why I think it is so important to have both guy and girl friends. I can spend hours dissecting people and situations and conversations with by girl friends without really getting anywehre. I enjoy it but it can get a bit much sometimes. So I go to my guy friends and they give me a straight answer in 10 seconds flat. They also call me on my BS, which is nice.

My complaining over guys will usually go like this;

Girl friends: "The right guy just hasn't come along for you yet! It will happen when you least expect it!" (Don't you just hate that phrase? I NEVER expect it!!!)

posted February 24, 2014 08:01 PM            

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
Yes I know. Our contradictions define us. That is why I think it is so important to have both guy and girl friends. I can spend hours dissecting people and situations and conversations with by girl friends without really getting anywehre. I enjoy it but it can get a bit much sometimes. So I go to my guy friends and they give me a straight answer in 10 seconds flat. They also call me on my BS, which is nice.

My complaining over guys will usually go like this;

Girl friends: "The right guy just hasn't come along for you yet! It will happen when you least expect it!" (Don't you just hate that phrase? I NEVER expect it!!!)

Guy friends: "You're too picky".

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posted February 24, 2014 08:05 PM            

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Dear Terry,

I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV. I hadn’t driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help. When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor’s daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor’s daughter is 19. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months.. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was laid off six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won’t go to counseling and I’m afraid I can’t get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,
Sheila

Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line.. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,
Terry

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posted February 24, 2014 08:17 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
An oldie but goodie on why men shouldn't write advice columns on relationships:

Another old one on the difference between men & women in conversation:
http://www.blameitonthevoices.com/2008/05/difference-between-men-and-women-in.html

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posted February 24, 2014 08:20 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Oh and I'm aware of "The Game". I believe it is effective but I have issues with it. Imo a guy shouldn't have to learn a system to get women to like and appreciate him. Im nice, funny, loyal,and intelligent. I don't look like Brad pitt but I'm not ugly either. I have good and bad qualities as most people do. Shouldn't that be good enough? Should I ,as a man, have to stoop to playing petty mind games to get women? I think not.. But the sad reality is tons of men are getting desperate and spending thousands of dollars to learn that nonsense.

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I think the main issue is that there are no clear rules of interaction anymore. There is no real system, which opens up for very subjective interpretations of behaviour. Back in the day a girl would be courted by a guy and it was all in all very clear how and when that would happen. I'm not saying we should return to days of womens' oppression, but fewer rules does mean it gets confusing pretty fast. It's just not clear what role who should play.

I'm not suggesting you follow The Game, by the way. But you were asking for a manual I was just wondering if you had heard about it, and what you thought about it.

Anyway I already know what my problem with guys is. I'm just not transparent enough. I don't really flirt, and I'm quite vague when I signal my interest which makes guys really insecure. It doesn't help that I'm a very obviously extraverted person. People just don't expect me to be shy about feelings at the same time. Classic Aquarian aloofness.

posted February 24, 2014 08:22 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Gonna be blunt here. Your guy friends are probably right.

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posted February 24, 2014 08:27 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
An oldie but goodie on why men shouldn't write advice columns on relationships:

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I loved the two stories! SO TRUE. Thank God I have guy friends to set me straight sometimes, or I think I'd go insane.

Women.

posted February 24, 2014 08:35 PM            

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
Of course they are. But I can't help it!

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posted February 24, 2014 08:55 PM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
People should trust their intuition with these things.

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posted February 24, 2014 09:12 PM            

Guy – hits on 10 different women right in front of her.
- tries to chat her up
- tries to chat all of her friends up
- constantly brings up how much he just loves dating shows *shrug*
- asks instigating questions publicly – e.g. “would you say a woman’s primary goal in life is to get married?”

I have a conversation with Friend. Guy comes up in this conversation.
I say: “I think he is sleazy”.. She says: “HUH?? What?? Why?” and goes on a rant about how nice and friendly he is and how I’m probably imagining things with my nonexistent intuition.

Fast forward months later…