|
Author
|
Topic: Female friends in the bar scene
|
Violets
Moderator Posts: 2609
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
|
posted February 26, 2014 01:28 AM
  
 IP: Logged |
Desiring Shadows
Moderator Posts: 2238
From: UNITED STATES, BABY
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted February 26, 2014 08:08 AM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
Plus, this accurately describes 80% of guys: 
OMG, there is a boy in my class who reminds me exactly of this picture. Too funny. ------------------
" Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."
-Joan Rivers Be who u r
and say what u feel
cuz those who matter dont mind
& those who mind don't matter IP: Logged |
Sibyl
Knowflake Posts: 291
From: Uranus
Registered: Dec 2010
|
posted February 26, 2014 08:24 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Desiring Shadows:
OMG, there is a boy in my class who reminds me exactly of this picture. Too funny.
I think we all know this type... It's too true. The classic Peter Pan guy. IP: Logged |
Desiring Shadows
Moderator Posts: 2238
From: UNITED STATES, BABY
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted February 26, 2014 08:31 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Sibyl:
I think we all know this type... It's too true. The classic Peter Pan guy.
Yup... 
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
I would think it would depend on a person's Venus, really. I have Venus in Aries, and I've never been shy about going after a guy if I really liked him, even when I was in grade school.
*shrug*
I'm a Venus in Libra and I'm not a chaser or to be chased but if I like a guy I'll give him my number. Its easy as that. ------------------
" Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."
-Joan Rivers Be who u r
and say what u feel
cuz those who matter dont mind
& those who mind don't matter IP: Logged |
Desiring Shadows
Moderator Posts: 2238
From: UNITED STATES, BABY
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted February 26, 2014 08:31 AM
quote:
Originally posted by 7thGuardian:
True, now go and make me a sandwich Women - and don't you forget it:  :P
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
I'm just gonna leave this here... 
hahahaa [QUOTE=aquaguy91]
Its ok. Theres no such thing as the one though. [/QUOTE] thats sad  IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3231
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
|
posted February 26, 2014 10:43 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
I'll admit that I also don't take flirty guys very seriously. It weirds me out. Just have a normal effing conversation. 
Which can be flirty, trading stories or expereinces, asking questions (which shows interest in the other person) commenting about why that may have happened or asking opinions on whatever it is. This is what I normally do when out and about, not the whole PUA or "She tosses her hair and winks" sort of stuff is what makes it all interesting to me at least IP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 2609
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
|
posted February 26, 2014 03:05 PM
^ Padre-- I suppose it depends on how the conversation is taking place, in that respect. I've had guys who "have conversations" with me, but they give off a vibe of...I don't know, just not casual or something, too fake. If it's just a cool conversation about whatever, I personally find that much more relaxed, fun, and enjoyable.
Not too much staring intently into my eyes or anything, if I don't know them well, that sort of thing. Or leaning in too close to my face, etc. I think it just depends on the vibe, but I don't really consider conversation flirting. I think of it as just getting to know someone, which is more interesting to me. Probably just semantics (I just don't care for the term "flirt" to be honest) and contingent on how the other person is coming across.  Might be my Aqua Mercury conjunct DC speaking here... IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8624
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted February 26, 2014 03:54 PM
This is a perfect analogy of the dating scene. http://matingselfishness.wordpress.com/2013/05/08/the-tiger-analogy-plausible-deniability-is-sadistic-and-cruel/ IP: Logged |
Sibyl
Knowflake Posts: 291
From: Uranus
Registered: Dec 2010
|
posted February 26, 2014 04:34 PM
I haven't really seen these tigresses from the analogy. If a guy feels like he is being eaten alive by a girl when he is hitting on her it is probably because he is going about it in the wrong way. I admit that I can be quite cruel in my rejections, but seriously... I have been approached in so many leery ways... And what am I supposed to do anyway? If a guy suddenly grinds up to me while I'm dancing and having a great time I'm not going to take it well. It's not flattering, and I will quite quickly spin him around and push him in the opposite direction. I much prefer a good conversation, or just silly banter and awkward dance moves. I'm never mean when a guy approaches me seriously; if he wants to chat or whatever I'm all ears. And attractiveness doesn't matter much. I think you'll find it's a much bigger deal for guys. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6772
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted February 26, 2014 04:47 PM
That's one of the reason I never bothered to approach women, flirt with them or even speak to them if they don't speak to me first. I find the whole process of courtship an aggravatingly unproductive waste of time, especially going to a bar or club.If they are interested, they will come to me. Otherwise, let some other sucker go down that rabbit hole. I have no time to travel down the yellow brick road. Some would call me aloof; some would call me arrogant; f them. I'm not interested in bumping and grinding. Want to do that, then let's get to the point. Don't start what you can't finish. The quiet demure one isn't always so passive when cornered, so don't make assumptions. Barking dogs often don't bite, and the most ferocious dogs are also the calmest. And I always had success gaining the attention of some very attractive ladies. I open the doors to these tiger cages with loaded machine guns. All of the doors. No matter who's behind the doors. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8624
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted February 26, 2014 05:07 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Sibyl:
I haven't really seen these tigresses from the analogy. If a guy feels like he is being eaten alive by a girl when he is hitting on her it is probably because he is going about it in the wrong way. I admit that I can be quite cruel in my rejections, but seriously... I have been approached in so many leery ways... And what am I supposed to do anyway? If a guy suddenly grinds up to me while I'm dancing and having a great time I'm not going to take it well. It's not flattering, and I will quite quickly spin him around and push him in the opposite direction. I much prefer a good conversation, or just silly banter and awkward dance moves. I'm never mean when a guy approaches me seriously; if he wants to chat or whatever I'm all ears. And attractiveness doesn't matter much. I think you'll find it's a much bigger deal for guys.
You are missing the point.... The women are not the tigers... Being rejected and wasting your time on the wrong women causes emotional scars much like battling tigers would cause physical scars. The doors are an analogy to how women tend to hide their cards and wait passively for the man to show all of his before they will show theirs. This creates a scenario where men have no idea who would be receptive to them and can set them up to open alot of the wrong doors and face tigers. Where alot of the bs could be prevented if a woman would just open up the door and say in no uncertain terms that she is interested. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8624
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted February 26, 2014 05:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Sibyl:
I haven't really seen these tigresses from the analogy. If a guy feels like he is being eaten alive by a girl when he is hitting on her it is probably because he is going about it in the wrong way. I admit that I can be quite cruel in my rejections, but seriously... I have been approached in so many leery ways... And what am I supposed to do anyway? If a guy suddenly grinds up to me while I'm dancing and having a great time I'm not going to take it well. It's not flattering, and I will quite quickly spin him around and push him in the opposite direction. I much prefer a good conversation, or just silly banter and awkward dance moves. I'm never mean when a guy approaches me seriously; if he wants to chat or whatever I'm all ears. And attractiveness doesn't matter much. I think you'll find it's a much bigger deal for guys.
And about attractiveness.... Dating sites would suggest otherwise .. They recently polled women on dating sites and the vast majority of women found over 80% of the men unattractive. That seems to fly in the face of womens claims that looks dont matter to them. Especially when you consider that men like myself have put up fake photos of good looking men and we are suddenly getting responses. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6772
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted February 26, 2014 05:18 PM
Dude, their loss. You can't invest yourself fully without an approximate reciprocal investment from the counterparty. Otherwise, it'll be one sided. IP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 2609
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
|
posted February 26, 2014 05:18 PM
AG
Didn't you just have one woman tell you that she was interested in you at your work, and yet another girl interested in you, date you seriously, and you rejected both of them?Or am I mistaken about that...? Also, I don't know if any women here are saying that looks don't matter (although sometimes they honestly don't). But different people find different things attractive. IP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 2609
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
|
posted February 26, 2014 05:32 PM
Also, I would stop reading that crap. The thought process on that website is the equivalent of trying to make dating better for guys by suggesting that you offer women a box of laxatives as a sign that you're interested in them. That site is NOT helping your case, man. Trust me. IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 1077
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
|
posted February 26, 2014 05:56 PM
Well that's just dating sites anyway. Hardly a good representation of all women.
There's a good chance that certain kinds of men/women even use them with many, many who don't. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8624
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted February 26, 2014 06:02 PM
Violets, that is irrelevant because those girls still expected me to do everything and make all the effort. I dated a girl a few years ago who was supposedly all about interesting conversation but I was always having an interesting conversation with the wall. She never contributed to the conversation, it was more like I was entertaining her. She bored me to tears... I eventually gave up and quit calling her altogether but I still see her on facebook posting stasuses like " wish guys werent so boring"... Really? She was the one who was boring in our relationship.. In my experience alot of women are like this.. They think guys exist to entertain them while all they have to do is sit there and look pretty... I cant even imagine a decent looking girl meeting me halfway..its like **** like that only exists in movies. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8624
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted February 26, 2014 06:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Well that's just dating sites anyway. Hardly a good representation of all women.
There's a good chance that certain kinds of men/women even use them with many, many who don't.
I disagree... I think there are all types of people on dating sites. IP: Logged |
Barbiegirl19
Knowflake Posts: 3035
From: Pluto with DeepFreeze
Registered: Jul 2013
|
posted February 26, 2014 06:09 PM
You sure date a lot. Do you ever stop to think that maybe just maybe it's you AG and not them. IP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 2609
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
|
posted February 26, 2014 06:15 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Violets, that is irrelevant because those girls still expected me to do everything and make all the effort. I dated a girl a few years ago who was supposedly all about interesting conversation but I was always having an interesting conversation with the wall. She never contributed to the conversation, it was more like I was entertaining her. She bored me to tears... I eventually gave up and quit calling her altogether but I still see her on facebook posting stasuses like " wish guys werent so boring"... Really? She was the one who was boring in our relationship.. In my experience alot of women are like this.. They think guys exist to entertain them while all they have to do is sit there and look pretty... I cant even imagine a decent looking girl meeting me halfway..its like **** like that only exists in movies.
That just sounds like immaturity, AG. It might get better as you get older (or not). If I can't make a guy laugh, and he can't make me laugh, then there had better be some seriously interesting conversations going on both ways about music, spirituality, nature, or other stuff that we're both interested in. I have Leo AC, so if the guy is doing all the talking, I feel like he's a show hog. Likewise, if I'm doing all of the talking I feel like the guy is either dull-witted, or I'm the one being a show hog.  Sometimes, I've dated guys who are way more intelligent than I am (as in genius level, and inventing things that have to do with physics, sound, and music), and I feel really stupid when they talk about their projects, so that doesn't work for me either. I don't like to feel like they should be wearing an "I'm with stupid" T-shirt. It has to go both ways. What about the girl who liked you from work?
Did she expect you to do everything also? I thought she made the first move. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8624
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted February 26, 2014 06:17 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
That just sounds like immaturity, AG. It might get better as you get older (or not).If I can't make a guy laugh, and he can't make me laugh, then there had better be some seriously interesting conversations going on both ways about music, spirituality, nature, or other stuff that we're both interested in. I have Leo AC, so if the guy is doing all the talking, I feel like he's a show hog. Likewise, if I'm doing all of the talking I feel like the guy is either dull-witted, or I'm the one being a show hog. Sometimes, I've dated guys who are way more intelligent than I am (as in genius level, and inventing things that have to do with physics, sound, and music), and I feel really stupid when they talk about their projects, so that doesn't work either. It has to go both ways. What about the girl who liked you from work?
Did she expect you to do everything also? I thought she made the first move.
Yes she did, but that doesnt mean she didnt expect me to do everything else. IP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 2609
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
|
posted February 26, 2014 06:18 PM
Oh.
Well...on to other things, then. You'll get it sorted out.IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 9248
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
|
posted February 26, 2014 06:19 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
He is from the Planet Tennessee, Vi.
Where females are debutantes and the males are honest to god cattle herders or something... It's funny because if you go to different counties or regions it's a lot different...
My best advice is travel until you find a place that's right for you. IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 1077
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
|
posted February 26, 2014 06:36 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
You sure date a lot. Do you ever stop to think that maybe just maybe it's you AG and not them.
Exactly. There was a woman at work who kept getting people"pulled into the office". She would get moved from area to area. Eventually management literally said, ”you can only move someone so much before you have to say that maybe they are the problem". Said it right to us in a meeting. I've long thought this about AG I've never in my life heard of one man having this many dating issues and blaming women for ALL of it. Why don't all men have these issues? Hmm IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8624
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted February 26, 2014 07:14 PM
This is not true because I realize my issues and have dealt with them for the most part.. I have Aspergers syndrome and it poses all kinds of problems when it comes to dating women. Most men find women mystifying , but for men with aspergers they are damn near impossible... We do not pick up on subtle hints at all, you have to spell it out for us and most women refuse to do this... Most men with aspergers are very cynical about dating and have given up. This has been what i have seen in every single other aspie man i have met besides YTA... Whats funny is psychiatry and psychology will try to tell you that aspies have no interest in dating or relationships, which isnt true at all.. I have never met an aspie man who wasnt interested in women ... They have just been rejected and have decided it is no longer worth trying.. You know what? I try!! I try to get better at socializing with people and i put myself out there... And I have gotten alot better... But i cannot read minds... Which is something the vast majority of women expect you to do... Why do i have to pick up on all their subtle hints all the time... Why cant they communicate with me on my level??? Why does society think its ok for women to be passive and shy but if a man is the same way he gets told he needs to be "confident" and put himself out there? Double standard much? So i fully realize that I have issues and have tried to deal with them, but I dont see women trying... I just see them being passive and expecting a man yIP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
