posted February 23, 2014 05:36 PM            

I end up leaving for three reasons.

1) The guy is too slow and has neither tried kissing me nor asked for my number.
2) I am testing to see if he dares follow. If he does, I'll take that as a sure sign that he is interested.
3) I really want to leave and take the opportunity when my friends show up.

I do realize that 2) and 3) can be a bit confusing. I guess you'll just have to read the signs.

I will drag a friend away from a guy for two reasons.

1) She is out of her mind drunk and I do not believe she is in a mind to make any decisions.
2) She does not realize what a creep the guy is. This second option usually occurs if I know the guy and they don't. Even so, I'll usually not drag her away unless she asks me to in order to save her from awkwardness. Instead I'll tell her what I know and SHE will be the one pulling the plug by saying "get me out of here".

Cudos to the guys with a bit of confidence who dare just ask for a girl's number by the way. It is so much more impressive, and if they are just nice and ask for my number I'll usually agree to a coffee date. If he tries to grope or make out with me on the other hand, I might put up with it for a little while but I'll usually just leave. Or "get dragged away".

posted February 23, 2014 05:43 PM            

Either A) it's another thread started to possibly start negative talk of how "women and their friends are so bad to the nice guys/women are c*ck-blockers".

or B) you end up possibly getting defensive when someone points out that *maybe* the girls friends were saving her from a guy that may not have been seen as decent in their eyes.

posted February 23, 2014 07:13 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
Well... Speaking from experience, this has happened to me soooooooo many times! And I agree, it is kind of annoying for me too when my friends suddenly show up and try to get me to leave or drag me away. First of all it is awkward, because what am I supposed to say? No, I want to stay here and get to know/hook up with this guy?

I end up leaving for three reasons.

1) The guy is too slow and has neither tried kissing me nor asked for my number.
2) I am testing to see if he dares follow. If he does, I'll take that as a sure sign that he is interested.
3) I really want to leave and take the opportunity when my friends show up.

I do realize that 2) and 3) can be a bit confusing. I guess you'll just have to read the signs.

I will drag a friend away from a guy for two reasons.

1) She is out of her mind drunk and I do not believe she is in a mind to make any decisions.
2) She does not realize what a creep the guy is. This second option usually occurs if I know the guy and they don't. Even so, I'll usually not drag her away unless she asks me to in order to save her from awkwardness. Instead I'll tell her what I know and SHE will be the one pulling the plug by saying "get me out of here".

Cudos to the guys with a bit of confidence who dare just ask for a girl's number by the way. It is so much more impressive, and if they are just nice and ask for my number I'll usually agree to a coffee date. If he tries to grope or make out with me on the other hand, I might put up with it for a little while but I'll usually just leave. Or "get dragged away".

Hope this makes sense. Take it from a fellow aquarian your own age :-)

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posted February 23, 2014 07:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Chiemi:
First, you stated that you don't make a habit out of hanging out in clubs/bars since it isn't your thing, so I wonder how this topic benefits you and what is your end game?

Either A) it's another thread started to possibly start negative talk of how "women and their friends are so bad to the nice guys/women are c*ck-blockers".

or B) you end up possibly getting defensive when someone points out that *maybe* the girls friends were saving her from a guy that may not have been seen as decent in their eyes.

Idk, Either way if I were to simply analyze this situation most would probably say it boils down to their fiend being a c*ck-block or that the friend was saving her friend from a boring/weird/creepy situation.

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posted February 23, 2014 08:37 PM            

If it happens then that's just one of those random things, as far as my friends and I have always been concerned. There are plenty of places to meet other people besides bars and clubs. And I have never done the thing that you're talking about, or had any of my female friends do it to me.

That sounds rather childish, imo.
And no, it wasn't like that even when I was in my early twenties.

posted February 23, 2014 09:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sibyl:

1) The guy is too slow and has neither tried kissing me nor asked for my number.
2) I am testing to see if he dares follow. If he does, I'll take that as a sure sign that he is interested.
3) I really want to leave and take the opportunity when my friends show up.

Cudos to the guys with a bit of confidence who dare just ask for a girl's number by the way. It is so much more impressive, and if they are just nice and ask for my number I'll usually agree to a coffee date. If he tries to grope or make out with me on the other hand, I might put up with it for a little while but I'll usually just leave. Or "get dragged away".

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I operated from a different perspective.

I never tried moving in for a kiss. It ought to be mutual. Going slow doesn't always mean not having sex quickly, but the sex part is great with someone compatible, and it happens naturally when people like each other.

I never grope. I don't cope a feel. I prefer to keep it classy.

I don't ask for a woman's phone number without some sort of invitation. Usually, the information is either volunteered or mutually exchanged.

Just because I am more reserved and observe etiquette doesn't mean that I am neither aggressive nor confident. Quite to the contrary, I prefer to tone down the testosterone and maintain decorum. Not being aggressive doesn't mean I have no interest.

In fact, I get rather aggravated when I got the standard question from women on what I did for a living or how much I made. The answer was invariably: I dropped out of school and I wash dishes in a restaurant or I deliver take out food on a bicycle (I'm Asian). Talk about money, MBA, etc. only attracted the wrong type. Several times, I purposely left via subway (in NYC) or walked when I encountered a gold digger. I much rather pay the overnight garage fees for the car than given the wrong impression to a gold digger.

If I were a woman, "what's your phone number" would be a huge turn off. "How much do you make" makes me want to rip my hair out.

posted February 23, 2014 11:44 PM            

Female friends tend to look out for each other a lot more then male friends look out for each other.

A classic example is when a young lady just broke up w/a BF and is very vulnerable..wagons circle..I consider that to be a good thing tho.

posted February 24, 2014 01:44 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
Because the girl don't want to be left. It's probably happened before.
Actually there could be many reasons. Guys do the same thing with their guy friends. The best thing to do is just find some girl who is alone at a club. She is obviously looking for company. Girls in pairs or more never want to leave their partner or pack. That's just the rules of clubs.
You stay with who you go with unless you got a crush on a specific man who is a regular which has happened to me.
People aren't friendly with everyone at bars and clubs at least I never was. I had my eye on one in particular and wasn't interested in anyone else.

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posted February 24, 2014 02:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I get what you are saying. But why cant the friend just join them instead of trying to get her away from him? As a guy I could never imagine trying to lure my friend away from a girl because i was bored or lonely. That would be pathetic lol. I would find someone else to talk to or find some other way to entertain myself.

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posted February 24, 2014 08:58 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
Because the girl don't want to be left. It's probably happened before.
Actually there could be many reasons. Guys do the same thing with their guy friends. The best thing to do is just find some girl who is alone at a club. She is obviously looking for company. Girls in pairs or more never want to leave their partner or pack. That's just the rules of clubs.
You stay with who you go with unless you got a crush on a specific man who is a regular which has happened to me.
People aren't friendly with everyone at bars and clubs at least I never was. I had my eye on one in particular and wasn't interested in anyone else.

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posted February 24, 2014 09:39 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I don't ask for a woman's phone number without some sort of invitation. Usually, the information is either volunteered or mutually exchanged.

Just because I am more reserved and observe etiquette doesn't mean that I am neither aggressive nor confident. Quite to the contrary, I prefer to tone down the testosterone and maintain decorum. Not being aggressive doesn't mean I have no interest.

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You may be right, although to be honest it just doesn't make allot of sense to me. I guess I always thought assertive people would be better for me because I influence people easily. But thinking back, I realize that some of the doormats I've met (and rejected) in my life were the most assertive ones.

I still don't understand why is the girl supposed to take the first step though. I hate that. I never do it. I will signal my interest, but that's it. If the guy doesn't take initiative nothing happens. I can't even imagine how I would do it. Maybe it's a cultural thing, I just don't think it would be acceptable here. Or maybe I just like to be chased a little?

Well. Hopefully I won't have to find out. I'm going on a date tomorrow with a guy who asked for my number at a house party. He knows my friends, so at least I know he's not a creep.

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
In fact, I get rather aggravated when I got the standard question from women on what I did for a living or how much I made.

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posted February 24, 2014 10:54 AM            

I would think that it would be blatantly obvious which guys are very goal focused and have their heads screwed on straight. Discussions of my education and ambition invariably degenerates into "that's so boring," even though I can talk easily about education and career plans all day long.

It's apparent that folks attract the same qualities in others. For example, I didn't go to school to get As. I went to school to get 100s. I didn't graduate to get a job. I graduated with the aim to get the best job (and highest paying). If CEOs are greedy and boring, then I take it you wouldn't date Mark Zuckerberg if he were single.

I think you misunderstood me. I'm not advocating men not taking initiative. There can be an instance when a man takes way too much initiative, such as "I picked the restaurant and I ordered this food for you, and now you will eat it." Do you want that overbearing personality?

posted February 24, 2014 11:48 AM            

I would so date Mark Zuckerberg! He has a VISION! I simply meant that I wouldn't date a guy who was only out for the money as the most important thing. Because that IS boring to me. I don't know what we would talk about, I hate money! It is really confusing and boring and annoying to me. I like what money can do as it sustains my hobbies and my education... But that's it. I don't need heaps, just enough to sustain me. If I had more than that (ie. if I dated Mark Zuckerberg), I would probably donate most of it.

I agree with you though, don't get me wrong - I don't want a guy to control or direct me. I'm too independent for that. If someone tried to order for me I would flip! I won't even let guys pay for me. Let's put it this way... I'm definitely paying for my own coffee tomorrow.

I don't like the kind of assertiveness you are talking about either,

"

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
My experience has shown me that the women I am attracted to value a demure demeanor. "Yo baby, I'm gonna grab you by your bum cheeks and kiss you and you will love it" never worked too well in my book.

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That's not what I want. If a guy tried that I think he'd receive a slap from me pretty quickly. I just appreciate plain speaking and directness, that's all. I just wish more guys would be direct and ask out girls on dates, chat them up on facebook or get their number. All my friends seem to be having the same issue. They are too shy. Maybe they just need to grow up a little, I don't know. I'm really confused about it all. It may be because I'm not living in my native country and so the culture is slightly different and I'm not picking up on the nuances, but... I just can't quite figure it out.

posted February 24, 2014 02:13 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
I just wish more guys would be direct and ask out girls on dates, chat them up on facebook or get their number. All my friends seem to be having the same issue. They are too shy. Maybe they just need to grow up a little, I don't know. I'm really confused about it all. It may be because I'm not living in my native country and so the culture is slightly different and I'm not picking up on the nuances, but... I just can't quite figure it out.

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On that front, I'm going through similar issues with my son. He's going to be a freshman this year. Part of it is the "girls are trouble" mentality imparted by a highly protective mother, so much so that he is outright indifferent to dating (no, not what you think, he's very conventional... ). Between the classes, exams and other stuff, he has no time and no real interest to invest large amount of time, even though he's real popular.

quote:

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
People always talk about how the guys like to chase a girl. And to be honest... I also quite like to be chased.

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Good for them. To each their own. I don't like to chase or be chased.

posted February 24, 2014 03:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I didn't have to find out that you are heavy Cappy. So am I as well. I can talk to you all day long. Pleasure meeting you. Where's the home country?

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Is that what it is? Pleased to meet you too! Great conversation.

Unfortunately I can't tell you where I'm from or where I'm living. Though I don't mind you asking, of course! But I'm probably going into a career as a public figure, so I don't want to risk anyone stumbling over this site and realizing who I am in the future. One cannot be too careful about these things!

posted February 24, 2014 03:50 PM            

quote:

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Good for them. To each their own. I don't like to chase or be chased.

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I'm exactly the same. The chasing thing seems very odd to me.
Some people refer to themselves as chasing or being chased simply because they called someone loll
ummm In my book that's called picking up the phone and contacting people lol O_O

posted February 24, 2014 04:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:

Also what you said about women inquiring about your career/wealth/status... that is indeed extremely annoying. Some men do the same thing.
Capricorn-influenced people should walk around with a sign that says: "No more mooches please!!!"

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