posted February 26, 2014 09:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
At least it makes for an interesting adventure!

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posted February 26, 2014 09:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
Aquaguy, all I see is that you allow stupid people to be in your life. Seriously, you are so much better than this, and you shouldn't have to put up with their antics!

I know there are stupid people out there but I will not tolerate them for a second. So I don't listen to them and I certainly don't allow them to hang around. So they can go live their stupid lives and be unhappy with what they get. It's their own fault.

You know better, and you have a choice in the people you choose to include in your life. I think it's mostly about improving your ability to recognize the good ones, rather than learning to put up with/dealing with the rotten.

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posted February 26, 2014 09:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
My husband and I have moved around a few times to some...erm...rather backward places, and I was in complete culture shock after living in the city for 15 years. I always came back. Now we live about 40 minutes outside the city, in the mountains, and I love it. The people are progressive, but it's not quite as hectic. It's in our best interest with a child, I think.

But it took us a while to figure out where we wanted to be...and we still might end up relocating again. Too much Uranus going on in both of our charts!

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It sounds nice. I would love to live like that. Just close enough that you can escape to the hustle of the city whenever you need, but far enough away for some peace and quiet.

Although I think I would have to live by the sea. I love mountains, but I love the ocean more. I have lived less than a 100 meters from the sea all my life. No matter what country it has been in.

posted February 26, 2014 09:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
Hm... What about taking Violets' advice and just move? Maybe the grass is greener on the other side.

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posted February 26, 2014 10:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Thats always an option but I'm not willing to move just to find a woman. Besides I shouldn't have to do that to begin with... Also I have no reason to believe that the situation is better elsewhere. For example Padre said he sympathized with me and agreed that my city is tough after finding out where i lived. He seemed to think that the dating scene is better in his city so i looked into it and from what I could tell the situation was just as bad if not worse over there.

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Well... I'm not necessarily talking cities. What about switching states? Countries? I think American culture in general is really superficial. I blame hollywood. But you could always try one of the more trendy or progressive places like Seattle.

posted February 26, 2014 10:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
Why does asking about your career or what you do for a living annoy you? People ask me that all the time, I ask people the same question all the time, the following questions would be "So, do you enjoy your job?" or "Why did you choose it?". People have all sorts of stories to tell and it's one of the easiest topics to talk about imo.

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I meant in the context of whether to give me the time of the day or not. If one would want to use career success as the yardstick to measure whether one should speak to me, then I much rather one not speak to me. In a social context, I much rather not go through a summary of my resume.

posted February 26, 2014 10:46 PM            

You seem to have a hard time understanding others (both man and women) and same goes viceversa (you're not easy to understand either). You can't see their point (again - same goes viceversa) because their understanding and their experience with this world - is quite different than yours. In a way - it's as if you talk with people from a parallel universe - and they might feel the same while interacting with you - cause they can't really understand you. What I'm saying is - most men don't have your mental condition (which is why - what you say about men while describing your experience - sounds insulting) - and most women don't know how to deal with your mental condition (which is why - you have problem understanding women or being understood). That being - you need "special treatment" and that's not something you can find in a bar or on the internet (unless you meet people - who understand your condition - either because they're dealing with it or they have a family member who has your condition - and they had to learn to live with him). We don't live in a world full of people - with advanced knowledge of psychology (both in terms of understanding/identifying a condition and how to deal with it) and also... Aspergers - is not a mental condition that stands out (that's obvious to others like - down syndrome). So... whoever you choose to interact with (be it male or female) treat you as if you're normal (as if you're like other men) - which you find confusing (hard to understand) - while they find you weird (hard to deal with).

Which makes a lot of sense if you take in consideration the symptoms: http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/autism-and-asperger-syndrome-an-introduction/what-is-asperger-syndrome.aspx

Three main areas of difficulty

The characteristics of Asperger syndrome vary from one person to another but are generally divided into three main groups.

Difficulty with social communication

If you have Asperger syndrome, understanding conversation is like trying to understand a foreign language.

People with Asperger syndrome sometimes find it difficult to express themselves emotionally and socially. For example, they may:

- have difficulty understanding gestures, facial expressions or tone of voice
- have difficulty knowing when to start or end a conversation and choosing topics to talk about
- use complex words and phrases but may not fully understand what they mean
- be very literal in what they say and can have difficulty understanding jokes, metaphor and sarcasm. For example, a person with Asperger syndrome may be confused by the phrase 'That's cool' when people use it to say something is good.

In order to help a person with Asperger syndrome understand you, keep your sentences short - be clear and concise. (Ops! It seems i wrote to much...).

Difficulty with social interaction

I have difficulty picking up social cues, and difficulty in knowing what to do when I get things wrong.

Many people with Asperger syndrome want to be sociable but have difficulty with initiating and sustaining social relationships, which can make them very anxious. People with the condition may:

- struggle to make and maintain friendships
- not understand the unwritten 'social rules' that most of us pick up without thinking. For example, they may stand too close to another person, or start an inappropriate topic of conversation
- find other people unpredictable and confusing
- become withdrawn and seem uninterested in other people, appearing almost aloof
- behave in what may seem an inappropriate manner.

Difficulty with social imagination

We have trouble working out what other people know. We have more difficulty guessing what other people are thinking.

People with Asperger syndrome can be imaginative in the conventional use of the word. For example, many are accomplished writers, artists and musicians. But people with Asperger syndrome can have difficulty with social imagination. This can include:

- imagining alternative outcomes to situations and finding it hard to predict what will happen next
- understanding or interpreting other people's thoughts, feelings or actions. The subtle messages that are put across by facial expression and body language are often missed
- having a limited range of imaginative activities, which can be pursued rigidly and repetitively, eg lining up toys or collecting and organising things related to his or her interest.

Some children with Asperger syndrome may find it difficult to play 'let's pretend' games or prefer subjects rooted in logic and systems, such as mathematics.

======================

posted February 26, 2014 11:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
It sounds nice. I would love to live like that. Just close enough that you can escape to the hustle of the city whenever you need, but far enough away for some peace and quiet.

Although I think I would have to live by the sea. I love mountains, but I love the ocean more. I have lived less than a 100 meters from the sea all my life. No matter what country it has been in.

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Well, we're near Seattle, so at least we're close to Puget Sound and only about 4 hours from the ocean. But I hear ya. I really, really dislike feeling land-locked. I also need to live by the ocean, or at least somewhere that gets a lot of rain. I'm a Pisces Sun, after all.

posted February 26, 2014 11:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Which brings us to an important PSA: Women, Know Your Limits!

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It's good to know that we understand each other or else:

posted February 26, 2014 11:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Thats always an option but I'm not willing to move just to find a woman. Besides I shouldn't have to do that to begin with... Also I have no reason to believe that the situation is better elsewhere. For example Padre said he sympathized with me and agreed that my city is tough after finding out where i lived. He seemed to think that the dating scene is better in his city so i looked into it and from what I could tell the situation was just as bad if not worse over there.

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Oh not at all, Kville is just tough, put it this way, even the country folks are "toney" there, in my town, Asheville there is such a mix all one would have to do is find your own social group and you'd do fine.

20 minutes outside of town you'd be in Hendo, or Madison, and ppl are very different, or you could hit a plonk formula place on the southside, or the rough and tumble west side or the hipsterish/progressive downtown/River Arts District..all in oh..20 minutes max or so

The vast differences in such a enclosed area is why I'd think you would do better.

Then again, that is from my pov, my chart and personality is very different from yours, can from a **** kicker bar, to a dance club, to a beer snob bar to a wine bar and fit in at all of them and do well

that is just the bar scene, there are varied interests, in a small area, and smart people doing them.

posted February 26, 2014 11:23 PM            

Which reminds me of this.

Business Time, brought to you by Flight of the Conchords.
http://youtu.be/AqZcYPEszN8

posted February 26, 2014 11:37 PM            

I honestly don't know where specifically in the US I'd want to live permanently, but I know it's not going to be here lol. I hate how people in these "old fashioned" mindsets complain endlessly about their miserable lives but act like making any changes would just be too "impractical". And yet the longer I stay the more I'm becoming one of those people. Sooo yeah there's a whole world out there, why waste your time somewhere you'll never be happy

But anyway, just thought I'd share since this thread is about the bar scene lol

https://screen.yahoo.com/popular/flip-side-bar-000000587.html

posted February 27, 2014 12:08 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by 7thGuardian:

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And you seem to not know that spankings are desirable...as defined here.

posted February 27, 2014 12:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by FireMoon:
just thought I'd share since this thread is about the bar scene

https://screen.yahoo.com/popular/flip-side-bar-000000587.html

Moral of the story, everyone sucks lol... #walkofshame

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Yep, no difference between men and women.

For a similar one (has a touch of male nudity at the end) look up "Are Women As Horny As Men?" by lastpictures.

posted February 27, 2014 12:15 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
And you seem to not know that spankings are desirable...as defined here.

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posted February 27, 2014 12:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
And you seem to not know that spankings are desirable...as defined here.

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Haha exactly! Hypothetically if I ever had kids there's no way I would spank them, it teaches too many sexual lessons lol. Kind of disturbing if you really wanna think about it...

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Yep, no difference between men and women.

For a similar one (has a touch of male nudity at the end) look up "Are Women As Horny As Men?" by lastpictures.

There was another one that I liked even better but I can't find it...YT is too slow right now with too many ads for me to sift through it and there are so many "role reversals" there, too. One had guys pining over a female guitarist in a park, a man calmed a violent woman on parole with back alley sex after she about attacked 2 other women for "looking at her man" (in the way a guy would), etc. Anyone know it?

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Lol that was great I love all the role reversal clips... There was one that I can't find anymore either switching roles at a wedding called "The happiest day of Steve's life" or something along those lines lol. I haven't seen the one you're talking about though...

posted February 27, 2014 12:36 AM            

That's weird, I have friends who live in Minneapolis, and they dig it there pretty well. I worked with a girl from there, and she seemed pretty tuned in, doing an internship where I worked at a non-profit. It always seemed like an okay city to me, but maybe just too Midwest, haha. The Midwest is what it is, after all (no offense to anyone).

Too much snow for my liking.

posted February 27, 2014 12:44 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by 7thGuardian:
aquaguy91, a friendly advice: stop talking in the name of Men - as if you could be a representative (for what it means to be a Man or for most Men) - and same goes to the way you talk about women (in case you haven't notices from their reactions - most of the times you sound like a women hater and a sexist). You keep doing that and sometimes - it sounds really insulting to others - because in many cases you sound like a blind guy who talks about "the colors of your reality" - and you put it in ways as if same would apply to all people (as if all could see the world like you do). Try to use singular terms referring to your person - or use phrases like "guys like me" - if you wanna use a plural term - relating to others alike (it's a big world and obviously - there are others like you out there - even in neighborhood).

You seem to have a hard time understanding others (both man and women) and same goes viceversa (you're not easy to understand either). You can't see their point (again - same goes viceversa) because their understanding and their experience with this world - is quite different than yours. In a way - it's as if you talk with people from a parallel universe - and they might feel the same while interacting with you - cause they can't really understand you. What I'm saying is - most men don't have your mental condition (which is why - what you say about men while describing your experience - sounds insulting) - and most women don't know how to deal with your mental condition (which is why - you have problem understanding women or being understood). That being - you need "special treatment" and that's not something you can find in a bar or on the internet (unless you meet people - who understand your condition - either because they're dealing with it or they have a family member who has your condition - and they had to learn to live with him). We don't live in a world full of people - with advanced knowledge of psychology (both in terms of understanding/identifying a condition and how to deal with it) and also... Aspergers - is not a mental condition that stands out (that's obvious to others like - down syndrome). So... whoever you choose to interact with (be it male or female) treat you as if you're normal (as if you're like other men) - which you find confusing (hard to understand) - while they find you weird (hard to deal with).

Which makes a lot of sense if you take in consideration the symptoms: http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/autism-and-asperger-syn drome-an-introduction/what-is-asperger-syndrome.aspx

[b]Three main areas of difficulty

The characteristics of Asperger syndrome vary from one person to another but are generally divided into three main groups.

Difficulty with social communication

If you have Asperger syndrome, understanding conversation is like trying to understand a foreign language.

People with Asperger syndrome sometimes find it difficult to express themselves emotionally and socially. For example, they may:

- have difficulty understanding gestures, facial expressions or tone of voice
- have difficulty knowing when to start or end a conversation and choosing topics to talk about
- use complex words and phrases but may not fully understand what they mean
- be very literal in what they say and can have difficulty understanding jokes, metaphor and sarcasm. For example, a person with Asperger syndrome may be confused by the phrase 'That's cool' when people use it to say something is good.

In order to help a person with Asperger syndrome understand you, keep your sentences short - be clear and concise. (Ops! It seems i wrote to much...).

Difficulty with social interaction

I have difficulty picking up social cues, and difficulty in knowing what to do when I get things wrong.

Many people with Asperger syndrome want to be sociable but have difficulty with initiating and sustaining social relationships, which can make them very anxious. People with the condition may:

- struggle to make and maintain friendships
- not understand the unwritten 'social rules' that most of us pick up without thinking. For example, they may stand too close to another person, or start an inappropriate topic of conversation
- find other people unpredictable and confusing
- become withdrawn and seem uninterested in other people, appearing almost aloof
- behave in what may seem an inappropriate manner.

Difficulty with social imagination

We have trouble working out what other people know. We have more difficulty guessing what other people are thinking.

People with Asperger syndrome can be imaginative in the conventional use of the word. For example, many are accomplished writers, artists and musicians. But people with Asperger syndrome can have difficulty with social imagination. This can include:

- imagining alternative outcomes to situations and finding it hard to predict what will happen next
- understanding or interpreting other people's thoughts, feelings or actions. The subtle messages that are put across by facial expression and body language are often missed
- having a limited range of imaginative activities, which can be pursued rigidly and repetitively, eg lining up toys or collecting and organising things related to his or her interest.

Some children with Asperger syndrome may find it difficult to play 'let's pretend' games or prefer subjects rooted in logic and systems, such as mathematics.

======================

This does describe you quite well - to be honest. If this post is to long for you (to hard to read maybe) - hopefully, others could find it useful - in understanding you better. [/B]

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posted February 27, 2014 12:47 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Violets:
@FireMoon--

That's weird, I have friends who live in Minneapolis, and they dig it there pretty well. I worked with a girl from there, and she seemed pretty tuned in, doing an internship where I worked at a non-profit. It always seemed like an okay city to me, but maybe just too Midwest, haha. The Midwest is what it is, after all (no offense to anyone).

Too much snow for my liking.

I hope you find a place that suits your needs!

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Yeah I didn't grow up in the city just moved here for university, but I feel guilty because it really is a pretty decent place, I guess just a little "too close to home" for me. I don't want to be within driving distance of where I grew up lol. And I also have never been able to deal with the weather which of course is shameful here, but really I feel like the people are just cold, from my own tainted viewpoint of course

But thank you! I've heard great things about Seattle and actually strongly considered living there lol...

posted February 27, 2014 12:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
My problem with the whole issue is why cant society ever admit women are part of the problem? If theres ever problems or a breakdown in communication between a man and a woman why is it always the man's fault? Why is it so wrong to suggest that maybe women should learn to communicate on a mans level? Why is always"well...men are clueless" or "men never listen" why is that ok?

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It's simplistic to assume that women never have a part in a problem or breakdown in communication within a relationship.

The only women I know who actually think like that are complete morons. It takes two to tango, dude. Intelligent women are aware of that.

Men and women are equally capable of acting like total d0uchebags.