posted February 26, 2014 07:24 PM            

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Originally posted by Violets:
^ Padre--

I suppose it depends on how the conversation is taking place, in that respect. I've had guys who "have conversations" with me, but they give off a vibe of...I don't know, just not casual or something, too fake.

If it's just a cool conversation about whatever, I personally find that much more relaxed, fun, and enjoyable.
Not too much staring intently into my eyes or anything, if I don't know them well, that sort of thing. Or leaning in too close to my face, etc.

I think it just depends on the vibe, but I don't really consider conversation flirting. I think of it as just getting to know someone, which is more interesting to me.

Probably just semantics (I just don't care for the term "flirt" to be honest) and contingent on how the other person is coming across.

Might be my Aqua Mercury conjunct DC speaking here...

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I feel ya, to much tension, fake laughing etc

one of the things I enjoy and have found others enjoy is to actually recall the details of the last conversation and touch on them and see how they turned out

The whole stare into their eyes/move in to close/hug that is not welcomed stuff is not what I do at least.

If I'm interested in that person in a non platonic way I've found it better to be a bit subtle such as "that's nice, where did you get it, is it new"?

posted February 26, 2014 07:29 PM            

Why don't all men have these issues? Hmm [/B][/QUOTE]

posted February 26, 2014 07:29 PM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:

If I'm interested in that person in a non platonic way I've found it better to be a bit subtle such as "that's nice, where did you get it, is it new"?

Would suspect they'd know at least I was interested enough to pay close attention to their appearance etc

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posted February 26, 2014 07:31 PM            

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
What you really need is a hobby, Aquaguy

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posted February 26, 2014 07:40 PM            

Are you up front with them about your needs?
think it's a fantastic idea.
You may have some troubles sure, but some may understand and also have VERY VERY clear communication. The RIGHT one will understand and there will be no surprises for either of you. Maybe you do already. Idk.
But regardless you need to understand it's not them and they can't know if you're not being up front about it. They are not mind readers either.

posted February 26, 2014 07:51 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I have hobbies... Nice try

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posted February 26, 2014 08:00 PM            

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
So you acknowledge that you are a large part of it. I'm not being mean. It's something that you are trying to overcome. It's not your fault but not neither is it theirs

Are you up front with them about your needs?
think it's a fantastic idea.
You may have some troubles sure, but some may understand and also have VERY VERY clear communication. The RIGHT one will understand and there will be no surprises for either of you. Maybe you do already. Idk.
But regardless you need to understand it's not them and they can't know if you're not being up front about it. They are not mind readers either.

Just saying...

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posted February 26, 2014 08:09 PM            

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
What's your talent?

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posted February 26, 2014 08:14 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Im a mars in gemini so I'm jack of all trades,master of none.I can do a little bit of everything and know a little bit about everything.

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posted February 26, 2014 08:19 PM            

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
Most AS have a special interest. What's yours? Astrology?

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posted February 26, 2014 08:20 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Its not always that simple.. Not all people with aspergers are prodigies in one specific area... Its more like we are interested in what we are interested in and like what we like and arent open to other things. You could say we are creatures of habit. Yes, i'm interested in astrology and have been for years.. But would you call it a special interest idk...

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posted February 26, 2014 08:26 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Violets, that is irrelevant because those girls still expected me to do everything and make all the effort. I dated a girl a few years ago who was supposedly all about interesting conversation but I was always having an interesting conversation with the wall. She never contributed to the conversation, it was more like I was entertaining her. She bored me to tears... I eventually gave up and quit calling her altogether but I still see her on facebook posting stasuses like " wish guys werent so boring"... Really? She was the one who was boring in our relationship.. In my experience alot of women are like this.. They think guys exist to entertain them while all they have to do is sit there and look pretty... I cant even imagine a decent looking girl meeting me halfway..its like **** like that only exists in movies.

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I agree with Violets. That thinking is just so skewed. Are you saying guys always do all the work in relationships? First of all, what work????? If people feel like work to you they are the wrong people. I don't think anyone could every accuse me of being boring or just "sitting there looking pretty", although I clearly could if I wanted to. In fact one of my greatest challenges is I need someone who 1) can keep up with me intellectually, and 2) can keep up with me in general. When I want to spend my holiday in a war zone, I would appreciate some company. If I had a somewhat more sensible person with me instead of my equally ditzy gemini best friend maybe I wouldn't be kidnapped... Again.

All I'm saying is if I'm being picky then it's just because I know myself. And looks do not figure into what guys I go for. It's never what I look at first. All the guys I dated I fell for at an intellectual level. It was what made me look twice. None of them were what others would consider particularly attractive. They were normal looking and attractive to me.

I think guys greatly overestimate how important looks are to girls. It's not like attractiveness is any accomplishment, I just popped out this way. And really, if a guy's way of hitting on me is telling me how attractive I am then he can hit the road. It's almost offensive. Shows just how much he cares about the rest of me. Looks may be important if it is a one-night stand you are after, but it is no foundation for a relationship.

posted February 26, 2014 08:34 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Some would call me aloof; some would call me arrogant; f them. I'm not interested in bumping and grinding. Want to do that, then let's get to the point. Don't start what you can't finish. The quiet demure one isn't always so passive when cornered, so don't make assumptions. Barking dogs often don't bite, and the most ferocious dogs are also the calmest.

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Such timeless wisdom. I, for one, have realized you are probably absolutely right. Next time I'm going to try going for the observant one rather than the assertive one. Maybe that will be more productive.

posted February 26, 2014 08:44 PM            

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
He is from the Planet Tennessee, Vi.
Where females are debutantes and the males are honest to god cattle herders or something...

It's funny because if you go to different counties or regions it's a lot different...

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Hahahhaha.
Yeah, I know.

It's actually not much different where I grew up (people might be shocked at how redneck areas of Washington state can be, once you cross over the mountains, away from the city).
When I go home to visit my family, I still see old guys driving their tractors on the roads, and the occasional cow in the middle of some back road.

And yet somehow, I always knew the people there were wrong, the place was wrong, the mentality, everything about it was absolutely...backwards. So I moved.

posted February 26, 2014 08:46 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:

In fact, I get rather aggravated when I got the standard question from women on what I did for a living or how much I made. The answer was invariably: I dropped out of school and I wash dishes in a restaurant or I deliver take out food on a bicycle (I'm Asian). Talk about money, MBA, etc. only attracted the wrong type. Several times, I purposely left via subway (in NYC) or walked when I encountered a gold digger. I much rather pay the overnight garage fees for the car than given the wrong impression to a gold digger.

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Why does asking about your career or what you do for a living annoy you? People ask me that all the time, I ask people the same question all the time, the following questions would be "So, do you enjoy your job?" or "Why did you choose it?". People have all sorts of stories to tell and it's one of the easiest topics to talk about imo.

posted February 26, 2014 08:48 PM            

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
They are not mind readers either.

Just saying...

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I can definitely attest to that. I'm really fortunate in that I have great guy friends who will tell it to me like it is... But they can't be there for every little thing.

posted February 26, 2014 08:53 PM            

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Originally posted by Violets:
Hahahhaha.
Yeah, I know.

It's actually not much different where I grew up (people might be shocked at how redneck areas of Washington state can be, once you cross over the mountains, away from the city).
When I go home to visit my family, I still see old guys driving their tractors on the roads, and the occasional cow in the middle of some back road.

And yet somehow, I always knew the people there were wrong, the place was wrong, the mentality, everything about it was absolutely...backwards. So I moved.

I never thought the people around me were normal, or the idea that "men are this way, and women are this other way" was right. I just knew that there were other people in the world who thought the way I did, and I found an entire city full of them.

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posted February 26, 2014 09:08 PM            

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
Good for you! I gather you didn't much like the men there, then? I may have done the opposite thing. I started off with normal people and landed myself in crazy land. I've gotten to know the rules after all these years... Somewhat, at least... But I don't fit well. And I still swoon over all the guys when I go home. I mean.... Why. Did. I. Ever. Leave!? I just get it there.

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Yeah, I had some boyfriends back home, and long-term relationships (well, for my age at the time, 2-4 years or so)...but I just didn't jive with them very much. Mostly we just partied a lot, which gets pretty dull.

The only guys I could actually talk to and hang out with there were my gay friends.
<Edit>
That's not completely true, there was a small group of us who had similar interests where I went to school, so I could talk to those guys and hang out with them, and a couple of good female friends. But not many that I liked there, no.

There were a few interesting guys that I met there, and I had a lot in common with them, but what I noticed was that they always drove the three hours into Seattle on a fairly regular basis, and were thus exposed to a different lifestyle. I had a couple of boyfriends like that.

Sorry you're having such a crappy time where you live, I hope it gets better!

posted February 26, 2014 09:10 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
sibyl , I believe you when you say you are that way but I dont believe most women are that way because I have seen too much evidence to the contrary. Its very telling when you overhear women fawning over good looking guys. Something I will never forget is when my step cousin, a girl, exclaimed " jordan is really cute! He will be such a chick magnet when grows up"...and she was right... To explain the situation further... My uncle had two kids and got remarried to a woman who also had two kids.the oldest was 17 and she was the one i mentioned earlier... Now at the time I was 10 but I quickly became close to her... Even though she was 7 years older than me and we were at completely different stages in development we were able to get along.. Seriously We could talk for hours and i could make her laugh... But she never said "aquaguy will be a chick magnet because he is funny, mature, and wise beyond his years" no she said " jordan will be a chick magnet because he is so cute" jordan is my younger cousin who has the personality of a rock. Guess what? She was right though... Jordan is very popular with women despite his track record of being physically abusive with them. In fact he is currently in jail for assaulting his ex girlfriend and shattering her car windshield... And yall have heard my story so i dont even need to say anythinh about me lol. How much more evidence do i need? Do you not see why i think the way i do.

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Aquaguy, all I see is that you allow stupid people to be in your life. Seriously, you are so much better than this, and you shouldn't have to put up with their antics!

I know there are stupid people out there but I will not tolerate them for a second. So I don't listen to them and I certainly don't allow them to hang around. So they can go live their stupid lives and be unhappy with what they get. It's their own fault.

posted February 26, 2014 09:12 PM            

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Originally posted by Violets:
Yeah, I had some boyfriends back home, and long-term relationships (well, for my age at the time, 2-4 years or so)...but I just didn't jive with them very much. Mostly we just partied a lot, which gets pretty dull.

The only guys I could actually talk to and hang out with there were my gay friends. There were a few interesting guys that I met there, and I had a lot in common with them, but what I noticed was that they always drove the three hours into Seattle on a fairly regular basis, and were thus exposed to a different lifestyle. I had a couple of boyfriends like that.

Sorry you're having such a crappy time where you live, I hope it gets better!

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posted February 26, 2014 09:14 PM            

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
Well, I shouldn't complain too much. I'm actually having the time of my life, just not with the natives Well... Sometimes... But it feels more like a safari or a social experiment than settling down. Haha.

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I just realized how wrong that may sound. I'm living in a western country, lol.

posted February 26, 2014 09:14 PM            

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
Well, I shouldn't complain too much. I'm actually having the time of my life, just not with the natives Well... Sometimes... But it feels more like a safari or a social experiment than settling down. Haha.

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