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Author
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Topic: Depression...
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YIVY
Knowflake Posts: 4747
From: Louisiana
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted March 29, 2001 10:13 PM
 
FC...I know it will be hard and there will be times you will feel like saying **** it ( I know all of you are shocked I even know those types of words  ) and want to throw in the towel, but hang in there.And so what if you go back and have to quit again...each time you will get stronger and stronger. You should be very proud or yours-ELF..  ------------------
@~>~~
YIVY
"Witchy Woman" IP: Logged |
financechick
Knowflake Posts: 643
From: Baltimore, Maryland, USA
Registered: Mar 2001
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posted March 30, 2001 08:03 AM
Thank you all for your encouragement and support. One positive thing, the teacher told us that there wasn't anyone in the class that still could not get a B for the term...and the guy that received a 100% on the exam is in my group for the group project...he's a real sweet guy too!!!  , yes, I do see it as a blessing, I have never really been one to take medicine unless it was antibiotics for an infection or something so I'm kind of relieved....but i went to the DR. last night and she said I shouldn't just STOP taking them like that...sh said I need to ween myself off of them to avoid a really bad mood swing...I was on 150mg per day so now I'm taking 75mg every other day and hopefully within a week or so I will be able to get off of them COMPLETELY without any adverse side effects...I don't need to be on the meds but at the same time...I don't need a bad mood swing either, that can be just as debilitating...75mg's odn't even phase me so it shouldn't whack me out too much...
I will keep you all posted. GB...that is some interesting stuff about your grandfather. I saw the TR quote hanging on the wall at this CPA firm I used to work at...it was hanging in my boss' office...I copied it down...from time to time I've gotten it out to read when I needed a boost...you should see the paper it's written on...it's almost falling apart!!! IP: Logged |
gooberlily
Knowflake Posts: 2296
From: Brooklyn, (and Norwich) NY, USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted March 30, 2001 10:08 PM
Wow YIVY, no, I didn't know that you knew such words  Gasp...what will the word druids think?Good luck FC!  All will turn out fine, with school, and with the meds. I think it's a good idea that your doctor suggested lowering the dosage before dropping them "cold turkey" Should help relieve any little mood swings. And thanks again for sharing the quote, I really liked it, and what a great story of how you came across it! The only quote to speak of that I copied down was a short poem that my opera teacher had in her music room, when I would wait for her to show up for the lesson, I used to read it...it's a poem, it touched me so much that I copied it down, and eventually memorized it: Les Poseurs by Marie Gould You and I met with masks on
And each of us played out the part
You could not guess my mocking laugh
Concealed a stricken heart How was I to know
Behind that flippant stranger's smile
Your lips with their ready curves
Were yearning all the while? We starved the fragile bloom of love
To feed our foolish pride,
And so, we walk alone today
Instead of side by side. Sad poem, but it really touched me. IP: Logged |
YIVY
Knowflake Posts: 4747
From: Louisiana
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted March 30, 2001 10:26 PM
Yes, indeed what a sad quote..more so because it is all to often true.Really gives one pause to think on pride... 
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@~>~~
YIVY
"Witchy Woman" IP: Logged |
financechick
Knowflake Posts: 643
From: Baltimore, Maryland, USA
Registered: Mar 2001
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posted March 30, 2001 10:44 PM
well...don't know if I had "the mood swing" today or not....I took one pill today, the first in 3 days...I came home from work and read a chapter in my INSS book for an exam I have next Wednesday..I went to my voice lesson...on the drive back I just burst into tears...came home and locked myself in the bathroom bawling my eyeballs out....the kind wear the tears drip off of the end of your nose and cheeks....the dog was waiting outside the door when I was finished...he K-NEW something was up..I picked him up and he started licking my face and then he put his head on my shoulder. I felt better....it's been 2 years since I've cried like that...I haven't been able to and sometimes you just need it...you know..it's cleansing...gets all the bad stuff out.IP: Logged |
YIVY
Knowflake Posts: 4747
From: Louisiana
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted March 30, 2001 10:48 PM
Sounds like your body has been starved for that 'cleansing' for quite a while...Notice how clear and fresh the air is after a good shower... 
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@~>~~
YIVY
"Witchy Woman" IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted March 31, 2001 01:35 AM
Meds prevent normal emotional detoxes, so the emotions build up. ------------------
"The ancestor to every action is a thought." EMERSON IP: Logged |
financechick
Knowflake Posts: 643
From: Baltimore, Maryland, USA
Registered: Mar 2001
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posted March 31, 2001 10:23 AM
well..actually..it's been almost 2 years since the bad incident occured that caused my depression, I was never able to crya bout it because I thought that if I started to cry, I wouldn't be able to stop so I never cried bout anything for 2 years...even happy stuff so now Ifeel much better. I will admit that I needed the medicine back in December...it allowed me to think clearer and work through some issues, it allowed me to bring them out in the open so that I COULD work on them instead of just keeping it in my head but I can tell that I don't need them anymore because they are starting to make me like a zombie...when before they didn't...it's not an addictive drug but it's also not one you can just stop taking and be fine. I had to take one this morning becasue I was feeling sick in my stomach which is a side effect when you stop taking it abruptly.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted March 31, 2001 04:10 PM
I agree with your doctor; wean off slowly.  ------------------
"The ancestor to every action is a thought." EMERSON IP: Logged |
gooberlily
Knowflake Posts: 2296
From: Brooklyn, (and Norwich) NY, USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted March 31, 2001 10:36 PM
I'm glad that you had that good cry FC, it can help so much sometimes, especially when we're numb for quite a while and either can't cry or won't allow ourselves to. How sweet that your doggie was there, they really do seem to know when we need a little love and a furry shoulder to cry on every once in a while I had quite a crying episode like that lately myself. What a relief though, after it was all over. And my doggie was there too, my dog's a big mush ball Just keep taking it one day at a time FC, you're doing great. IP: Logged |
financechick
Knowflake Posts: 643
From: Baltimore, Maryland, USA
Registered: Mar 2001
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posted March 31, 2001 11:25 PM
Thanks GB!!! I really liked the poem above, it's so amazing the things that stick with you.Yes, I believe dogs or pets in general are special gifts for us. My dog dinky is so intuitive even though he can't talk (don't you wish they could sometimes??) they still have a way of communicating their love and loyalty. He K-NEW something was up as soon as I walked in the door yesterday, it was immediate. My mother kept calling me to come out of the bathroom becasue dink was waiting for me and she kept asking if I was ok because the dog was acting strange...a few minutes passed and then my Dad came by the bathroom and said the dog was waiting for me outside the door...and then HE asked if I was ok!!! This morning, dink jumped up on my bed and started licking my chin....what a way to be woken up!!! He layed on my belly and I scratched his head...when I would stop, he would nudge my hand with his little cold, wet nose!! Makes yourealize the unconditional love, they love you even when you think nobody else does. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that I want to get...it read. "Feel the warmth of a cold wet nose" I think it was from the humane society or the SPCA. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted April 01, 2001 03:53 AM
I have a cold wet nose! ------------------
"The ancestor to every action is a thought." EMERSON IP: Logged |
YIVY
Knowflake Posts: 4747
From: Louisiana
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted April 01, 2001 07:21 AM
'ARF ARF', no wait, yours would be a deep rumbley 'WOOF WOOF' ------------------
@~>~~
YIVY
"Witchy Woman" IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted April 01, 2001 01:26 PM
*heavy breathing and licking*  ------------------
"The ancestor to every action is a thought." EMERSON IP: Logged |
gooberlily
Knowflake Posts: 2296
From: Brooklyn, (and Norwich) NY, USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted April 01, 2001 10:33 PM
Are you implying that you're a puppy , or are you suffering from seasonal nasal allergies?  I love your dog's name FC! I broke out into a big smile and then started giggling, you most assuredly have a special doggie! What type is he? IP: Logged |
financechick
Knowflake Posts: 643
From: Baltimore, Maryland, USA
Registered: Mar 2001
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posted April 02, 2001 08:18 AM
Gooberlily...Dinky is half yorkshire terrier, half long haired Chihuahua....so he's a mutt but those are the best kind!! He is so funny and he has such a wonderful personality/disposition!!! He loves people, he loves to be loved and he gives more in return than he gets..and let me tell you, this doggie is SPOILED!!!He was a gift to my Mom on her Birthday 4 years ago which is Valentines day also!! He went 2 days without a name..I wanted to name him Valentino..but my Mom chose Dinky! IP: Logged |
gooberlily
Knowflake Posts: 2296
From: Brooklyn, (and Norwich) NY, USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted April 02, 2001 09:38 PM
He sounds adorable Dinky is a really cute name too My grandpa's birthday is also Valentine's Day  IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted April 02, 2001 10:44 PM
I'm just a puppy with a cold. ------------------
"The ancestor to every action is a thought." EMERSON IP: Logged |
YIVY
Knowflake Posts: 4747
From: Louisiana
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted April 03, 2001 12:56 AM
FC...quite a dog/god you got there. You are blessed... I see you as a big black shaggy dog...one who bounds up on you with that big 'doggy' grin..
eats your slippers, your newspaper and 'you out of house and home'..
scares the burglers, but all the neighbors know is one big lovable baby... Here let me scatch you behind the ear, give you a big hug...(wow you are taller than me) and here is a nice 'treat'...now get down..down..
DOWNN...give me that....hey, I am not chasing you all over the house..
D O W N!!!...--woof' woof '--..
don't eat the sofa...hey,, down...
NOT IN THE HOUSE....--woof' woof'...
Ok...ok, you win...  ------------------
@~>~~
YIVY
"Witchy Woman" IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted April 03, 2001 06:44 AM
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"The ancestor to every action is a thought." EMERSON IP: Logged |
gooberlily
Knowflake Posts: 2296
From: Brooklyn, (and Norwich) NY, USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted April 03, 2001 10:07 PM
Wow YIVY, I can just see it you know! Were you joking around, or do you really have a cold Randall? If you do have a little sniffle, I hope you feel better. Take those vitamins! The trees are beginning to bud up here, and it does make my sinuses a bit cranky this time of year. Finally, the snow is melting! Feel well darling, everyone, be well! IP: Logged |
D.Light
Knowflake Posts: 130
From: U K
Registered: Apr 2001
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posted April 06, 2001 04:04 PM
I just wanted to share that I have battled with depression all my life, during an argument with my son last year, he screamed at me "you were just born miserable.."  I have never been 'diagnosed' so I am not referring to 'clinical depression'My road has been very long and very torturous and I have tried just about every and anything that my means would allow in my effort to cure my depressed state including self-help tapes/books, flower/herbal remedies,crytal healing, cranial osteopathy aromatherapy, reflexology and on and on. I found the thing that held the key for me was DIET, I believe we are what we eat, and I think that 'sensitive' people are more reactive to the additives, preservatives and suchlike put in foods. Having said that I still battle with food addiction, somehow an apple doesnt have the same appeal as a bar of cadburys  I liken people to flowers in a beautiful landscaped garden, we all have our own unique essence, we all thrive in different conditions and need different ingredients in order for us to grow. What I am trying to say is that what might work for one might not necessarily work for another - although the one key ingredient that we all could thrive on is LOVE  I hope this makes sense Love
D. IP: Logged |
YIVY
Knowflake Posts: 4747
From: Louisiana
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted April 06, 2001 04:19 PM
Perfect sense, D...and I think you are right about the diet..Love the image.. ------------------
@~>~~
YIVY
"Witchy Woman" IP: Logged |
LMB
Moderator Posts: 653
From: Cooltown, USA
Registered: Dec 2000
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posted April 06, 2001 05:53 PM
"Cry if You Want To"
by Holly Cole TrioCry if you want to I won't tell you not to
I won't try to cheer up
I'll just be here if you want me. There's no use in keeping a stiff upper lip
You can weep you can sleep you can loosen your grip
You can frown you can drown and go down with the ship
You can cry if you want to Don't ever apologize venting your pain
It's something to me you don't
need to explain
I don't need to know why
I don't think it's insane
You can cry if you want to. The windows are closed
the neighbors aren't home
If it's better with me than to do it alone
I'll draw all the curtains
and unplug the phone
You can cry if you want to I won't make fun of you
I won't tell anyone
I won't analyze what you do
or you should've done
I won't advise you to go and have fun
You can cry if you want to Well it's empty and ugly and terribly sad
I can't feel what you feel
but I know it feels bad
I know that it's real
and it makes you so mad
You can cry Cry if you want to I won't tell you not to
I won't try to cheer you up
I'll just be here if you want me
to be near you." ******************************
This song is what I would like to give all of you...  LMB IP: Logged |
YIVY
Knowflake Posts: 4747
From: Louisiana
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted April 06, 2001 10:33 PM
WONDERFUL, LMB..as always the right words at the right time Something I just noticed...this topic is getting to be quite long, and I think will get longer..one other long thread is TWIN S-ELVES.
Makes me wonder if there is a connection somehow between Depression and our search for our T-WIN...  ------------------
@~>~~
YIVY
"Witchy Woman" IP: Logged |
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