posted May 25, 2001 12:19 AM         

And isn't it amazing? The Love....
It's miraculous!!!

LMB, feeling in good spirits tonight!!!

posted May 25, 2001 07:46 PM         

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!!!

Glad to see you all and with your old

posted June 19, 2001 11:49 PM         

Allow me to give LOTS of Love to all on this thread who have suffered with depression and other mental/emotional illness.

I am bipolar. I have heard so many theories about the origin of depression that I mostly stop listening. I have been off of meds for almost 3 years and it would take a major upset to put me back on. Basically, if I seriously consider suicide for more than two days...I will go on them. I was on paxil and quit cold turkey...had to stay in bed for four days in the DARK while the world spun. I ended up taking neurofeedback therapy, which is a *retraining* of the brain. Basically, it was incredible in calming me down and lessening the anxiety to an amazing degree....but I was still manic, still depressed. I became super concious of my vitamin intake, my nutrition. Again, I was calmer....still I was manic, still depressed. I do affirmations daily, 3 times a day. I listen to subliminal tapes. I do relaxation excercises twice a day. Still, I am manic, still I am depressed.

People tell me to meditate....what people fail to realize is that meditation can actually make the symptoms of depression WORSE for many people. Still, when I am able I meditate. Here I am, manic or depressed...depending on the time.

For people to say that depression or other mental illness does NOT exist is shortsighted. We are beings of creation, and we have created mental illness just as we have created cancer. While it is true that depression is not a NATURAL condition, this does not mean it does not exist. Until humankind learns to heal it with the mind, we will have to find a way to treat it either medically or environmentaly, or both. Otherwise, we should all just go into the hospitals, stop chemotherapy, and tell all the cancer patients to wise up....cancer does not exist. And while I actually DO believe that, our conditioning is so strong that we do need to use ritual (such as doctors and meds) to combat the illusion of illness.

I think that positive thinking, hypnotherapy, alternative therapies, massage, aroma, meditation....I think that these things help to eradicate other emotional stresses which frees up our energy to deal with the depression (or schizophrenia, etc).

And if one has ever seen a bipolar person in full mania.....or a schizophrenic having a paraniod episode....how do you suggest we deal with it, in that moment, to prevent the person from harming themselves or another?

YIVY.....yes, your suggestion is the best, I think.....heavy physical labour. That is the one thing that helps...but then it too becomes denial for me, since I just think about it late at night. I still think it is great, though. Better than meds, anyway.

I cannot remember a time when I have not dealt with depression. I remember skipping school in grade 1 so I could be alone because I just felt sad all of the time. I hated myself.....yet I had tons of friends and school, at least where my classmates were concerned, was okay.

Anyhow....this forum is great because it seems that we can discuss this without harm. I guess I was a little angry, though, because tonight I was at the newage bookstore at a book discussion....and we got off track talking about mental illness. I just found that many in the 'spiritual' community are very snotty about being spiritualy correct....it seems that there is no room for any human weakness or sadness. Unless you are positive and upbeat ALL OF THE TIME, you are not spiritually mature.

You know, last month I prayed to God for a highlighter (I know, I could have bought one, but I love asking for small tangible things just for the thrill)...and two days later, my uncle visits and hands me a brand new hightlighter. I was sooooooo excited...I told EVERYONE about it. Guess what the reactions were within the 'spiritual' community? A look like I was childish....

Well, I guess I am spiritually unsophisticated. But who cares? I like it that way! When I stop being excited by highlighters, that is the day I know I went off track somewhere.

Anyhow, I am sorry. I know I am going backwards on the thread....just wanted to say to everyone that I found ALL of your posts great and very understanding, even if I did not agree with all of it. Much food for thought....

So, I suppose what I want to say is, we are all just soooooooo KOOL.

posted June 19, 2001 11:56 PM         

I have found that the time periods when I stick to a fruitarian diet (just fruit, no veggies even---although zucchini, cellery, etc are okay) this is the only time I am fairly stable. I still become manic, still depressed, but not nearly as much. Actually, I always know the times I am going to get depressed because I begin to crave bannanas or avacodo...things that have alot of carbs or fat.

Hmmm....so mixed with YIVY's wise observation of physical labour, it seems as if the old ways were the best.

I did notice, as well, that the more I stay away from television and radio with love songs I tend to feel lighter.

posted June 20, 2001 12:37 AM         

I personally view your highlighter as a miracle! What a great story! Sounds like those people are NOT very EnLIGHTened to not see it for the grand example of MAGIC that it was!

posted June 20, 2001 12:14 PM         

I was in about 4th or 5th grade when i starting smoking cigs and in the 6th when I started smoking pot and then for the next 25 years i consumed a massive about of drugs. I always prided myself on the fact that I didnt get high to forget only for pleasure. What a crock of bull i fed myself. I've been clean and sober now for 3 years.

When i got sober though i still had a huge craving for drugs ....and i had episodes of ups and downs so the Doctor put me on Lithium. I HATE that i have to take this medicine but i know its what i need and it works for me.

I also work out and keep myself very busy...being idle is not good for me....

No one should suffer from depression...
Peace and Love

posted June 20, 2001 01:25 PM         

Today I wondered if my mania/depression is an nothing more than an efficient way to balance my Karma. I know that many people believe that you must balance the Karma with the particular soul you created it with, but I do not. Since we are all one, I believe it is possible to balance it with ANYONE, with the permission of all the souls involved. So, could the struggle of mental illness simply be a way of experience a WHOLE LOAD of karma at one time, rather than coming back over and over again? I must say that I do believe this is my last lifetime......or was supposed to be. I have a 'memory' of not wanting to come back, but having to......I felt exhausted, like you do after you pull off something really huge like an exam....and then I found out I just had a little more to do....sigh. Then, y'know, you just want to get it over with as fast as possible.

The hard truth is, my depression is a part of me....a part of this personality and I am not so sure I would give it up, even if I could. It had provided me with so much empathy.

Anyway...

posted June 20, 2001 02:37 PM         

But you are right, sometimes when you are depressed it is hard to deal with it as you are too depressed to even think about it.

And the idea that we attract trauma by depression our natual selves might also be right. Even small children if they come to balance Karma with the depression theory are setting themselves up from the start. Huummmm...

Soma...you could be the 'poster child' for YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY BABY...you took your life back. That took courage and determination. You are one strong SOUL....

Oh, and teenie tiny miracles are the best. One time, I was doing errands in town and was getting really hungry. I didn't want to stop to eat. I had a craving for of all things a good donut. It was really a strong craving. I went by the antique shop I share with my sister in law..and her friend showed up right after I got there with a box of donuts (the kind I wanted). She said she just has an 'idea' to pick some up even though she never ate donuts and usually never bought them.

I call that my DONUT MIRACLE..and every time I get down I think of my tiny DONUT MIRACLE..

posted June 20, 2001 03:58 PM         

This one I consider a bit more than tiny, but last week, I was frantically trying to free up space on my C: drive by cleaning out old stuff and moving this and that to another drives... C: was having brain cramps with my graphics (even with 384MB RAM! ). No matter what I did, my available space (of 2Gigs) on C: would not go more than 200MB... I gave it my best shots but decided to just let it go and prepare to back-up and reformat. Three days later, just for s, I checked the status on C: and was to see just over 600MB free space!!! The *exact* number I was told I needed to run my graphics efficiently

I thanked my s

posted November 01, 2001 12:13 AM         

It is always nice to know you are not floating on the ocean alone in 'that' boat....that you have lots of company

posted November 01, 2001 01:05 PM         

It's nice to know I'm not alone at all, and this thred is helping me see this. I know there's a lot of people out there like me, but knowing, seeing and hearing "I know what it's like" is great.

I needed this. Arigato, YIVY!

posted November 01, 2001 04:25 PM         

~Princess

------------------
"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

posted November 01, 2001 11:59 PM         

Ghost...

posted December 02, 2001 12:34 AM         

Anyway, when I was 14, I started taking antidepressants. Before then, I was suicidal and prone to violent rages with little or no provocation. I even started hitting people (including one who was a good friend of mine up until then.)

I would feel as though I was a horrible person for no reason. I went around telling people that I had no friends. At the time, I really believed it. People thought I was arrogant because I said I had no friends.

Most of the time, I had nightmares. They were so bad that I was afraid to sleep at night. I was afraid of everybody except my Mom and Dad- even my sister. I just couldn't tolerate being teased, even innocently.

When I took the antidepressants, everything stopped. I now find it much easier to smile, and to relax. I don't ever contemplate suicide anymore. However, it's been established that the medications actually do harmful things to people's bodies. I am ready to stop taking the medications, but if I do, I'm afraid I'll turn back into the monster I used to be.

There have been times when I've taken the medications a few hours late. There is absolutely no consistency to how I feel when that happens. Sometimes, I still feel as wonderful as usual, but at other times I feel like I want to lash out and destroy something.

posted December 02, 2001 12:53 AM         

And you are right about some of the medications. But thank GOD/DESS you woke up in time

posted December 02, 2001 01:45 AM         

Thank you for sharing your story with us. When are you considering dropping your meds? Have you discussed the option with your doctor?

My personal feelings are a little complex on the matter. I've been through tests, I've been through doctors, hospitals, and lots of different drugs when I was a teenager. My problems were basically classified as depression, with some anxiety.

I've been off all prescribed drugs for depression and anxiety since the age of 18 or so. I'm 25 now, and I've fared pretty well. Drugs never did anything for me, I never responded to them for very long anyway, so there was never much point to me being on them.

I feel Spiritua, that you know yourself pretty well. If you feel, if you notice that you act in a different way when you're off of your medication, I would way the pros and cons of your decision to go off medication. If you feel that your life is better without it, then I would talk to your doctor and try and figure out alternative therapy. If you feel though that you need it to a certain extent, or it has seemed to make your life more manageable...

Well, it's up to you darlin'

If you're really considering it, I think you should talk it over with your doctor and see what can be done.