Posts: 285
From: orillia ON CA
Registered: Aug 2001

posted January 24, 2002 11:43 AM         

---

mmm.. huh?? What??

Oh.. I'm at the end of the thread..

Not that it's boring; just, extremely long..

So, maybe I'll make it longer.

I'm not a diagnosed Bi-polar person thingy, but my doc thinks I am, and my dad is one. I refuse to take drugs; it's a bit for me to handle sometimes, but I dun like 'em :P

ooh, here's my pride anti-list!

anti-drug
anti-smoking
anti-alcohol
anti-microwave
anti-caffiene (mostly)
anti-soda/pop
anti-red meat
auntie Lisa

((You didn't see that coming, did you? :laughing )

as for depression..
I think mine came about environmentally.
Neglectful dad, lots of abuse in school (mentally, emotionally, physically if you include being beaten up)
I've always lived for pleasing other people, so I was my own enemy at the same time; if someone was mad, well it was MY fault, wasn't it, because I didn't make them happy?
(I know it wasn't now, but I had myself thoroughly convinced back then).

Right now, I'm dealing with fear. I think currently, I am afraid of everything (not including animals, or arachnids, amphibians, reptiles, fish :P)

when I'm really hurting inside, all I hear is "I hurt" or "I'm scared" inside. it's sort of a blunt message, but it feels like it needs to be said.

Sometimes, I can't even tell what my emotions are. I can identify giddy, neutral, and depressed, and angry, jealous well enough.. but I have one I just can't identify right now.

as for my best friend.. when she was suicidal, I did my best to help her, but I wasn't going to forbid her from doing what she felt she had to.. it's not my place to make her feel tied down... I only wanted her to be happy..
luckily, she's angry enough at me it may drown out her depression for a couple days. I hope.

IP: Logged

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted April 11, 2002 09:02 AM         

---

------------------
"It is never too late to become what you might have been." George Eliot

IP: Logged

Posts: 714
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted June 25, 2002 08:50 PM         

---

I'm pretty sure I was depressed, for quite a while. And my life is a daily struggle against it, cause it would be so easy for fall back into that self destructive pattern...

*********************
This poem is relevent to my comment above and it's titled "Relapse":

Descendion to familiar ground
Impossibly clinging to the sound
Closing walls provide an end
the saga well-supposed to mend

Former ascension was far too real
Triumphed pain to fully heal
Never thought, or did desire
a replay of engulfing fire

------------------
-K
"Most people love with restraint
As if they were someday to hate
We hated gently, carefully
As if we were someday to love"-Venus Trines at Midnight

IP: Logged

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted June 26, 2002 07:38 AM         

---

I think that is the second or third poem you've shown us. Do you have any others? We like poetry around these parts!

------------------
"It is never too late to become what you might have been." George Eliot

IP: Logged

Posts: 714
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted June 26, 2002 05:04 PM         

---

Yes, I have others. I write poetry pretty regularly, but have been focusing on song lyrics for the last month or two.

------------------
-K
"Most people love with restraint
As if they were someday to hate
We hated gently, carefully
As if we were someday to love"-Venus Trines at Midnight

IP: Logged

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted June 26, 2002 06:05 PM         

---

Do you write only the lyrics, not the music?

------------------
"It is never too late to become what you might have been." George Eliot

IP: Logged

Posts: 95
From: England
Registered: Apr 2002

posted June 26, 2002 06:58 PM         

---

I don't know if it has been mentioned on this thread,so I'm sorry if it already has been. I've just come back from a talk on healthy foods, which included things like why there seems to be an increase mental illness, violence and cancers etc and the answer is your diet, the foods you eat and whether you are short on various vitamins and minerals.

A couple of websites to check if you are interested www.campaignfortruth.com
and www.credence.org

Love Gladeyes

IP: Logged

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted June 26, 2002 07:16 PM         

---

Thanks, gladeyes!

------------------
"It is never too late to become what you might have been." George Eliot

IP: Logged

Posts: 714
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted June 26, 2002 07:48 PM         

---

I'm trying to write the music too, but that is the tricky part. Words flow very easily for me, so I'll have to find anoher person, equally as skilled, but in composing music, to collaborate with.
I have 8 or 9 songs so far and I'm inspired by life every day...

------------------
-K
"Most people love with restraint
As if they were someday to hate
We hated gently, carefully
As if we were someday to love"-Venus Trines at Midnight

IP: Logged

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted June 26, 2002 07:56 PM         

---

Cool! What type of music?

------------------
"It is never too late to become what you might have been." George Eliot

IP: Logged

Posts: 714
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted June 26, 2002 08:56 PM         

---

I'll post a few exerts of the different songs. You can decide what kind of music they are for yourself.
*****************
"Last year you had proximity
But your focus was so wrong
That player wasn’t worth-the-time
Though your eyes, they lingered long

In hopes that had no basis
Cause he’s not that kind of man
Flirtin’ is an ego boost
From closeness he just ran"
**********************
"Swinging hips and smiling
It took so much for you
To get the way you wanted
A role that fit your ‘do’

Too bad they’ll never view
The soul that likes to hide
Attune to all the senses
True musician, bona fide"
***************************
"The bus, it’s humming
Down and round
Plays the melody
Life has found

Four seats
Clustered or apart
Deep thought
Oh where, did you start?"

------------------
-K
"Most people love with restraint
As if they were someday to hate
We hated gently, carefully
As if we were someday to love"-Venus Trines at Midnight

IP: Logged

Posts: 1434
From: New Orleans, Louisiana
Registered: Feb 2002

posted June 27, 2002 07:16 AM         

---

From a scientific point of view...as in the pharmaceutical world....depression can be exogenous (externally caused) or endogenous (internally caused). There is a very real chemical imbalance in the brain that triggers "mental illness"...it is not an illusion....there are measureable levels of chemicals in the blood stream that show true endogenous depression. Yes, vitamins help, but medications can really alleviate the symptoms because they put the balance back in the chemical make-up of the brain. I sometimes wonder if the imbalance is caused by the food additives that we all consume, which trigger those insufficiencies that are already present.
The exogenous kind responds very well to creative outlets, physical work, etc because it frees your mind from thoughts. But, remember that these activities are the prescribed regimens in psychiatric hospitals, too. So, stay busy, eat right, take your vitamins and your medicine, if it is prescribed for YOU!!
Gosh....I sound like a pharmacist trying to sell someone on antidepressants!!
Didn't mean to sound that way

------------------
Hugs,LTD ~~The struggle keeps us young~~Daring to make mistakes and knowing there are none.~~DGM

IP: Logged

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted June 27, 2002 07:27 AM         

---

Dunno, but those lyrics would make great pop or country.

------------------
"It is never too late to become what you might have been." George Eliot

IP: Logged

Posts: 1434
From: New Orleans, Louisiana
Registered: Feb 2002

posted June 27, 2002 04:07 PM         

---

Randall:

Will you be my agent?

------------------
Hugs,LTD ~~The struggle keeps us young~~Daring to make mistakes and knowing there are none.~~DGM

IP: Logged

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted June 27, 2002 05:40 PM         

---

------------------
"It is never too late to become what you might have been." George Eliot

IP: Logged

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted June 28, 2002 07:28 AM         

---

Hey, I thought we were talking about Virgo-AriesArtist! Are you also a talented songwriter, La-Tee-Da?

------------------
"It is never too late to become what you might have been." George Eliot

IP: Logged

Posts: 1434
From: New Orleans, Louisiana
Registered: Feb 2002

posted June 29, 2002 05:05 AM         

---

Ooops!! I thought you were talking to me. My son is a very talented song writer..has made the MTV circuit twice in one year!!

------------------
Hugs,LTD ~~The struggle keeps us young~~Daring to make mistakes and knowing there are none.~~DGM

IP: Logged

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted June 29, 2002 06:35 AM         

---

Cool!

------------------
"It is never too late to become what you might have been." George Eliot

IP: Logged

Posts: 643
From: Baltimore, Maryland, USA
Registered: Mar 2001

posted June 30, 2002 11:02 AM         

---

hmmm...have not written to this thread in some time...but..I have a new perspective on the whole depression thing....for one...it's different for every person...but for me...I came to the conclussion that..with the traumatic event that happened to cause my depression...I didn't want to let myslef heal....but then I realize there comes a point when you have to stand up and say that you have suffered enough and you have to start to take you life back and to heal.

For some people, depression is more chemical...what I mean is that they can't attribute their depression to any one life event...they are depressed because their chemicals in their head are off and that takes medication to combat.

all I know is that when you are depressed, you feel so alone....but more people suffer from depression...you're never alone...we all go through it at some point in our lives...

IP: Logged

Posts: 90
From: berlin, germany
Registered: Jan 2002

posted July 02, 2002 07:22 AM         

---

Randall, I`m sorry to bother this otherwise so wonderful thread but while reading it I had to gasp for breath again. So, you are still telling around that there is no censorship on this site? **** .**** . **** .**** . And I thought I can`t say here everything I want to anymore
...and now dear children we will prove that the black is white.
Disgusted,
Venera

IP: Logged

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted July 02, 2002 07:46 AM         

---

The UBB software filters out select curse words, which is necessary due to the age of some of our Members. Look at it this way: A newspaper can print the Truth regardless of what that Truth is. Letters to the Editor can be printed in their entirety, even though the opinions expressed may be unpopular, but strong language will still be edited out. Is that "censorship"? Major advocates for free speech don't seem to think so. Ideas should never be censored, but on THIS site, the expression of those ideas should be within the context of Love and Light. There are Bulletin Boards on the Net which do allow any type of insult and profanity, and they serve a purpose. They help people to get out their anger. But most of our Knowflakes do seem to appreciate the "censorship" as you call it that we enjoy here.

------------------
"It is never too late to become what you might have been." George Eliot

IP: Logged

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted July 03, 2002 04:11 AM         

---

Venera, what's your issue with that word? Damn, that's odd.

------------------
"It is never too late to become what you might have been." George Eliot

IP: Logged

Posts: 90
From: berlin, germany
Registered: Jan 2002

posted July 03, 2002 06:33 AM         

---

you know, Randall, I have learned that it`s much healthier to express anger towards the person who have caused it. Perhaps you would like to see me disappear from Lindaland now and undoubtleslly you have the power to make me so. Till then I will enjoy the people here I like and read their stories, and will not stop to think and openly say that this is a censorship what you do here. I don`t know how much major journalists consider this as no censorship, but my question is- what they consider it to be? Editing?
I agree that if there are some very young memebers here we shouldn`t use certain words.. but those certain words I`m thinkig of are very few.
You didn`t respond me in "Truth and Delusion" in Linda`s LIfe Forum, Randall, about what is so wrong with the word"d>a>m>n". And I have hoped so much you will do so. As a non-native English speaker I might miss some horrible meaning of this word and not be aware of it. I`ve checked every dictionary in our house to be sure, but I am open to new information from natives on this word. Perhaps I am really missing a disgusting hidden message in it. Otherwise I would really like to know Randall why do you ehm.. edit it.
Venera
p.s. now I see you did respond here with a sentence..I`m kinda running after the site, writing my msgs offline to save internet
Odd you say?? I don`t consider it odd Honestly, I really like it. Damn.

IP: Logged

Posts: 90
From: berlin, germany
Registered: Jan 2002

posted July 03, 2002 06:42 AM         

---

woooow, I can see it now!! yaaaaahhhoooooooo!
wow...that is damn cool, Randall
really great!

Venera

IP: Logged

Posts: 643
From: Baltimore, Maryland, USA
Registered: Mar 2001

posted July 03, 2002 07:50 AM         

---

Randall..I'm with YOU on this...

one of the reasons I like Lindaland so much is nobody uses foul language.

I have no interest in talking/discussing issues with people if they feel the need to use foul language.

IP: Logged