posted March 19, 2009 08:00 PM         

Did you ever think material incarnation might just be a wrong turn?

Spring is almost here and its the perfect time for turning over a new leaf.

So, whaddaya say we all make a suicide pact right now and pledge to shed this mortal coil?!

We'll make a fresh start in the spirit world and (who knows?) maybe this time we can stay on track!!

Are you with me, kiddies?!!?

And dont just say you are and then back out at the last second.

I'm gonna feel pretty silly if I'm the only one who goes through with this.

posted March 19, 2009 08:57 PM         

What's going on with you???

Sunshine

posted March 19, 2009 09:11 PM         

This is not the first time I've seen you display suicidal and violent tendencies. Once a knowflake started a thread at the old Astrology forum called "Suicide is painless" talking about her suffering and promoting suicide, you replied Right on! and said nothing more. On another occasion you were having a heated debate with somebody else here at LL, and you posted "Well kill me now!" and yet when we once discussed vegetarianism on yet another thread, you turned to cannibalism by speaking to someone that you'd rather eat her than eat innocent animals.

Forgive my stellium Virgo habits, Steve- I'm not trying to split all the hair. As we know you are a Scorp, and few comprehend your intensely emotional, violent nature. It seems to me that you've been dealing with some inner turmoil for quite some time, and it has exacerbated recently as you expressed your wish to die at the Personal Reading forum, asking for a reading.

Perhaps no one can understand exactly how you feel and only you can get out of the abyss, but please do not spread such a negative message like group suicide and what the subject says. This doesn't solve the problem. Be responsible for what you say as someone might just get affected by what you talk about here. The consequences can be grave.

Face your own issues and ask yourself why you are so unhappy. Be honest with yourself.

posted March 19, 2009 09:15 PM         

I shall now go await the spaceship.

posted March 19, 2009 09:25 PM         

But I am perfectly honest with myself.
The problem is clear: I am a man who needs a woman,
and who is unable to find a suitable mate for himself.
Very simple. So, what am I doing about it?
Everything in my power, D. Everything in my power.

And as for threads like these...
They depress depressed people less than blind optimism,
easy answers, and empty, new age platitudes.

I dont think that keeping it under wraps is doing anybody any good.
We are all walking around afraid to show signs of our humanity.
Like it is a sign of weakness not to hide your pain and confusion.

Dont you see how cold it is of you to tell me to just deal with my own sh-t?
You claim it is in the name of other people who are vulnerable, --
well, um, hello, I'm one of those people, in case you missed it.

And telling me to be honest with myself and shut up about it?
Jesus, if anybody is honest about their desperation it is yours truly.
I've been battling this for 30 years, and I reserve the right to blow off some steam,
and if you dont like it you can go find a nice calm, peaceful mountaintop to meditate on.
I'm sure the goats and muskrats wont bother you nearly as much as I do.

posted March 19, 2009 10:16 PM         

Then maybe when the "veil" is lifted we can find out whether or not being here serves any purpose in our evolution as creative beings....and what if we find out there is a purpose to our being here after we have destroyed it.....what then?

I have a better idea....

Let's all become....

NOTHING

posted March 19, 2009 10:28 PM         

quote:

---

Dont you see how cold it is of you to tell me to just deal with my own sh-t?
You claim it is in the name of other people who are vulnerable, --
well, um, hello, I'm one of those people, in case you missed it.

And telling me to be honest with myself and shut up about it?

---

HSC, I didn't mean to be cold, critical, harsh or judgmental. That was how I tend to relate myself to others. No, I did not miss the fact that you are among those who are vulnerable, that you are one of them.

And I suggested that you be honest with all your mess but I did not ask you to stop talking about it, HSC. I wish I could have expressed myself in a more humane and warmer manner, without the slightest trace of moral superiority. You are free to speak of your feelings, your situation, but just try not to say "let's all kill ourselves".

I didn't mean to judge you, HSC. I didn't mean to make you feel judged.

Only you have the power to rescue yourself. I believe you are aware of that. Nobody can make you listen to them until you start to see what once you could not see.

Editted to add:

Man, this thread surely has gotten the amount of attention that is dreadful to see.

But fortunately at the moment the discussion has turned to a positive direction.

BlueRoamer, I hear you.

Peri

LEXX, thanks for rationalizing. You are not the confused one here.

HSC, suicide is NEVER a joke. Group suicide is most definitely never a joke, let alone a meaningful joke as you put it. I am not condemning suicide here, as I used to be extremely suicidal myself. I simply do not encourage suicide, and certainly not collective suicide. You want empathy, sympathy, compassion, understanding from others, yet you offer none of the above to those who respond to you when they are not saying what you want to hear. You want people to agree with you, and you cannot tolerate people who challenge you. Your astrological discrimination (water signs only) is so astrologically miseducated. You talk about all those things that you want to discuss and to hear yet you rarely listen to people who genuinely care and you put on a very collectively destructive subject for your thread. You ask for understanding, but your starting post asks for misunderstanding and much trouble.

Actually I was hintting your drug addiction. And I knew you never liked people telling you off that thing, and now most of us turn a blind eye to avoid advising you to rid it to no avail. I know you are angry with me, HSC; all I can say is the chances are I am not quite on your wave-length, so we are not hearing each other, and you have been pretty immersed in suicidal ideation, despair, rage and all those dark moods.

quote:

---

Next, you might be annoyed at this but I have to include it. Get some kind of a mindset that you need to incorporate reasonably arduous exercise, for a number of reasons - it will balance some of your emotions and ease up the feeling that you are living on your nerves. What I get a glimpse of is probably climbing/strenuous walking in natural settings - you may be only able to figure this in every 3 weeks but you have to try to in some capacity. You will need a pack and you may be able to go with others.

---

Chryseis has made quite a few sound points. She mentioned your drug addiction; she advised that you need a mentor in flesh, not just one online; she suggested that you return to nature. HSC, you don't get all the help you need on the Internet. You need to leave the computer, step outside, return to the wonderful nature and that will change your whole being, whether slightly or significantly. But as long as you insist on not taking the first step toward change, you are very likely to remain in your pain.

I don't post this as a new message but as additional contents in this post because you are furious with me and you don't see that I've posted not because what you posted bothers me, but because I cared. I still do. However, since we are not on the same frequency, and you asked me to back off- I am finally backing off.

I hope we will still be friends.

D

posted March 19, 2009 11:13 PM         

Earth, to be the practical one.

Air, to keep up with my intellect.

Fire, to dazzle me.

And Water, to understand, empathize, and sympathize.

I need all of those things.

I dont care if people think that is not true.

Or if they think i am weak or what.

People are wrong.

In another time, they would have loved me.

i dont belong here and i never did

and i stick around like all of you

because i assume it must be for the best

because i want to believe its not what it looks like

success is the exception

f-ck people who try to embarass you for being wounded or stuck

you cant expect understanding from anyone

nobody cares or wants to cares

nobody wants to know how hard it is

everybody wants to brush others off with easy answers

i thought it would be so easy to find a sweet, smart, attractive woman who could appreciate me.

i'm begining to wonder if such a woman even exists now.

and if she doesnt, i have no reason to be here

no reason but to fulfull society's expectiations

and my friend's and familiy's expectations

And i dont even believe in any of this.

I think it was a bad idea to reproduce in the first place.

Matter is hectic and dumb.

Who can prove that it is necessary?

And dont tell me if i do Kriya Yoga for thirty years,
i will be able to see into the akashic record for myself.

Whatever.

The only thing i want.. i dont have.

why should i stay here?

posted March 19, 2009 11:29 PM         

I say that with love

Anyway, sorry, no pearls of wisdom here... but I do feel for you and I'm sorry things have been hard.

posted March 20, 2009 02:55 AM         

my mom knew that place you are in...she described to me once, the long black tunnel life sometimes is. and all you can do is feel your way forward, one foot in front of the other, heel to toe. until you finally see a little light to head towards.

she also brought with her from the convent where she grew up some wonderful remnants of the faith that was beneath the religion...one bit was "despair...is a cardinal sin!" and another

napoleon said - there is no such word in the french language as impossible (spoken in a french accent please, monsieur!)

who says there is no woman for you? are you a hundred and twenty or what??(i am not really as tough as i sound)