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Author
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Topic: Upcoming birthday and a hope for a better year.
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rajin
Knowflake Posts: 485
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted January 27, 2011 10:31 AM
  
he is a coward, when it comes to dealing with his feelings he starts running away and blaming everybody else except himself. He can't still decide if he wants a relationship or not. Why come back into my life if you are not ready to even talk about it?IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 24006
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 29, 2011 11:25 AM
Check in Girlfriend  ------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face,touch and feel the dregs of Nessus before you can grasp the pristine beauty of Neptune.
Me IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 24006
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 29, 2011 11:25 AM
Check in Girlfriend ------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face,touch and feel the dregs of Nessus before you can grasp the pristine beauty of Neptune.
Me IP: Logged |
rajin
Knowflake Posts: 485
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted January 29, 2011 12:49 PM
Dear Ami,
He has not written or called, neither have I. I think this is an easier way for him to slither out of it, no fuss no conversation. The first hurdle and he bails. What kind of a man would he be if he can't even listen to my side of the argument?
I don't think it will go anywhere.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 24006
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 29, 2011 12:55 PM
How long has it been? Rajin,Pisces and Libra men do this kind of thing,I think lol------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face,touch and feel the dregs of Nessus before you can grasp the pristine beauty of Neptune.
Me IP: Logged |
rajin
Knowflake Posts: 485
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted January 29, 2011 01:21 PM
He wrote last Sunday saying that he is worried how I will behave in the future and that is why he is not able to talk in the present.
IDIOT MAN.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 24006
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 29, 2011 01:23 PM
My take
If you really,really love him as I think you do.You must put up with his waxing and waning.
Once he commits, he will stop lol------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face,touch and feel the dregs of Nessus before you can grasp the pristine beauty of Neptune.
Me IP: Logged |
rajin
Knowflake Posts: 485
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted January 29, 2011 01:28 PM
He told me it is not a relationship yet. After 8 years and 3 months of being steadfastedly in love with him, it is not a realtionship? What am I supposed to do, write it in blood?
God Ami, i wish I never had met him. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 24006
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 29, 2011 01:30 PM
Listen Girlfriend
You are hooked.Forget about it.
Join the club with Lioness and me  ------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face,touch and feel the dregs of Nessus before you can grasp the pristine beauty of Neptune.
Me IP: Logged |
rajin
Knowflake Posts: 485
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted January 29, 2011 01:34 PM
what about him? does he even feel even a 10th of what i do?IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 24006
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 30, 2011 09:05 AM
Rajin,dear
If you want him and love him as much as you say,you MUST be patient.
You must look long term.
A beautiful painting does not have finger paint thrown on a canvas .
It takes time,sometimes a long time.
Is he worth it?
In the meantime, YOU grow so you can be ready to deal with all the hardships in a real relationship.
Your own personal maturity as well as his is a necessary ingredient.
Take this time to make yourself the absolute best person you can be so you can be the best partner to him.
Just so you don't think I am talking out of my hat or someplace else lol
I am learning these lessons with you.
 ------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face,touch and feel the dregs of Nessus before you can grasp the pristine beauty of Neptune.
Me IP: Logged |
rajin
Knowflake Posts: 485
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted January 30, 2011 01:32 PM
Ami,
I have been waiting for 8 years fr him to grow up. I would like to have a little love reciprocated. It is like all I get is insults and more hurt. What relationship is this that never gives back just takes?
I have been patient and that is a big lesson for someone like me who usually moves fast.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 24006
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 30, 2011 01:39 PM
EIGHT years?
I did not know that.
I thought it was only a year.
In that case,it changes things.
I am sorry if I gave advice based on not knowing the whole history.
There IS a time to let go. Yes,there is,dear.
Only your heart and prayer can give you that answer 
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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face,touch and feel the dregs of Nessus before you can grasp the pristine beauty of Neptune.
Me IP: Logged |
rajin
Knowflake Posts: 485
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted January 30, 2011 01:48 PM
He broke up with me in 2004, came back in 2008 and that time too he was acting the same way as now. Communications are taboo to him, as long as I am discussing food or movies or his health he is fine any talk abt the future he clams up. I broke up in 2009 and he came back last year. The only improvement this time was he wld txt. No talk, just text. And the moment I asked him abt us he blamed me for stifling him and said he was worried that I would not let him grow independently in the future IF it became a real relationship. As if till now it is a false relationship or nothing important to be named.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 24006
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 30, 2011 01:51 PM
This is just me, one man's opinion. If I adored someone,I would want him,wait for him.
If it did not work out,I would have no one.
*I* am coming from that point so you know ------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face,touch and feel the dregs of Nessus before you can grasp the pristine beauty of Neptune.
Me IP: Logged |
rajin
Knowflake Posts: 485
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted January 30, 2011 02:04 PM
That is the way it has been for me too, but I am tired Ami. I dont want anyone else but I dont want this life either. If I could lie down and never wake up I would be A-OK.IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 2395
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 30, 2011 02:07 PM
quote:
He broke up with me in 2004, came back in 2008 and that time too he was acting the same way as now.
Rajin, did you connect with other men/have other relationships in the meantime? Can you imagine a relationship with someone new where there is mutual love, without this level of intense frustration? With such a long history, it must be so hard, nearly impossible, to change or move on. The advice I would give would be to improve and free up your life in as many areas as you can that you have some control over. Sometimes, that can indirectly help us break out of romantic holding patterns. -Make sure you're taking the best possible care of your own heath, getting lots of physical exercise and eating nutritious foods. -Nourish your senses by going to hear beautiful live music, getting out into nature, seeing beautiful art. -Stimulate your intellect by studying and learning something new. -Treat yourself to a good massage.
You've been dealing with some grief and lots of frustration. The more you take care of yourself and meet the emotional needs you CAN address, the more it may subtly shift things in your relationship and life.
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 24006
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 30, 2011 02:10 PM
I am glad other people are weighing in.I am one person and very flawed at that ------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face,touch and feel the dregs of Nessus before you can grasp the pristine beauty of Neptune.
Me IP: Logged |
rajin
Knowflake Posts: 485
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted January 30, 2011 03:12 PM
I did try to connect with other men, it never got anywhere serious. Partly I am to blame since I have never felt anything like I feel for this guy and partly because the men I connected with had other priorities. One guy even told me the first time itself that since he lived in NY and it had EVERYTHING why get married?
I am trying to move away from this guy but somehow he keeps returning back and he never seems to grow up to be able to commit.
It is like he takes just baby steps.
Help me get out of this.
Thanks Lucia and Ami. You guys are my soul sisters.IP: Logged |
rajin
Knowflake Posts: 485
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted February 01, 2011 03:50 PM
Thanks Ami and Lucia. I was really falling apart last week and both of you helped a lot. I have not heard anything from him and I don't think he wants to go ahead. He is using any excuse he can get. I just want to be able to get over this intense feeling for him and feel helpless that I can't seem to do that.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 24006
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted February 01, 2011 03:53 PM
I think he will contact you within a week.Let me know (((Rajin))) ------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You have to be strong enough to be gentle.Peace through strength,ALWAYS
Me IP: Logged |
rajin
Knowflake Posts: 485
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted February 01, 2011 04:03 PM
Thanks Ami,
I don't know if he will. His parents leave for home this weekend and his mom had been kind to convey her wishes for the new year to me through him. so I was wondering if I should write to him and wish them bon voyage and a safe trip. His father had major bypass surgery in Oct last year so just wondering if I should write at all?IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 2395
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 01, 2011 04:58 PM
It actually sounds like you're getting ready to move on from him and forward into a relationship with someone new that gives you more of what you want and need. I know that's so hard, because you do love him. Obviously, you both have a lot that you've been dealing with in all areas of your life.It might be a time, as well as taking care of yourself and doing some nice things for yourself, to take things moment by moment. Each moment, ask yourself, "What can I do right now that will make me feel safer/calmer/happier/more excited/more rested?" Sometimes it's as simple as taking a deep breath. Do you have some things you want to do with your life? With Jupiter moving into Aries and Uranus into Aries in March, we're starting new twelve-year and new 84-year (!!) cycles in our lives. Other than in your love life, how would you like to spend the next 84 years? Try to use this time to move bit by bit into following your dreams. Your perspective on this relationship will change and you'll feel less powerless when other areas of your life are energizing you, and you are giving yourself the peace and space that you need. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 24006
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted February 01, 2011 05:13 PM
I would not write.His Libra needs to do his own form of dance before he can commit for real.
I base my opinion on HOW much you love him.He is irreplaceable to you,it seems.
As such ,I would do all I could to let him grow to a point where he could commit.
That being said,opinions are like noses.We all have one and they usually have a few holes in them lol
Different woman will have different takes on the same situation ------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You have to be strong enough to be gentle.Peace through strength,ALWAYS
Me IP: Logged |
rajin
Knowflake Posts: 485
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted February 01, 2011 05:31 PM
Thanks Lucia and Ami,
I am trying to move away from him because every time he comes back it takes me to a dizzying height and then when he lets me down I fall into a deep abyss and I can't do this up and down dance any longer, it hurts too much.
but like you both said I love him a lot and cant even think of replacing him that easily.that is why I let him come back each time and never have learnt to guard against my heart.
why cant he reciprocate?
Lucia, does my natal indicate that I will never have success in love ever? Will 2011 be a year of hurt again? will I never ever get a break?IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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