posted June 14, 2015 09:44 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
^ I don't know about that.
AG has been very open on LL, but the average girl who meets him wouldn't be aware of a great majority of his views.
Mainly if we are talking about just seeing photos and a dating-site profile.
So.. I don't think he is getting rejected for these reasons.

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posted June 14, 2015 09:48 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
And.. to me, AG does not come across as "hating" women. He has a problem with what he sees as: feminism (his version of it)... and he has a very skewed perspective on romantic relationships.

If anything... he completely lacks understanding for women. But lack of understanding... is not hatred.

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He has a problem with women having rights, choices, doing the exact same things men do. Would it sound better and less hateful if he had one set of standards for whites, and another set for blacks?

posted June 14, 2015 09:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
You don't think someone can be rejected right out of the gate for having an attitude problem or being charmless or really awkward? 80% of the time that's exactly what it is, and the other 20% is just blatant, I think this person is hideous.
In any case, the self-reflection prescription is still the right way to go. He is obviously in denial that he was obese (for one thing).

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I don't see him this way.
I my mind I guess I'm separating his "views" from the way he behaves on a personal level, in a romantic context (when he is pursuing a girl).
I think the way he behaves is completely different to the way he comes across on LL when we have these gender debates.

posted June 14, 2015 09:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
I don't see him this way.
I my mind I guess I'm separating his "views" from the way he behaves on a personal level, in a romantic context (when he is pursuing a girl).
I think the way he behaves is completely different to the way he comes across on LL when we have these gender debates.

I could be wrong, but I feel like I kind of know him a little!

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posted June 14, 2015 09:56 AM            

He has had a difficult life and it was emotionally tough on him to go through his parents acrimonious relationship (plus separation). He has both Sun square Moon - and - Mars square Venus. These are not easy aspects when it comes to romantic relationships.
Plus he has diagnosed Aspergers which likewise makes it difficult to navigate close relationships.

posted June 14, 2015 10:08 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
I disagree Aquacheeka.
This is not about hate.

He has had a difficult life and it was emotionally tough on him to go through his parents acrimonious relationship (plus separation). He has both Sun square Moon - and - Mars square Venus. These are not easy aspects when it comes to romantic relationships.
Plus he has diagnosed Aspergers which likewise makes it difficult to navigate close relationships.

AG just needs to heal past wounds and reach a floating line imo
I see a lot of his views as a direct symptom of past hurts.

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I disagree. It IS about hate, and it's also about projection.

This isn't the pity party Olympics. My mother used to beat the cr@p out of me with leather belts, phone cords, whatever she could get her hands on. I grew up hearing how worthless I was and how I wasn't going to amount to anything. You want to talk acrimonious splits, yeah, I've got that too. I stopped seeing my biological dad after he showed up drunk and tried to pick a fight with my stepdad at age 7. My mom changed her address and didn't tell him where we had moved. Soon after he moved to Europe with the woman he'd cheated on my mother with and she divorced him for. In spite of this, I know that not all men are cheaters, and I am keenly aware that not all women are bad mothers. I don't force the whole of the men or women in my country to answer for their crimes.

I've managed to avoid the worst mistakes of women who grew up in a home like mine. Sure, I had some terrible exes but I didn't actively pursue "thugs" who would mistreat me, nor did I do any drugs. Any promiscuity I displayed was short-lived and really moreso the result of frustration with a broken heart (i.e. got dumped recently) than a result of my upbringing, I think. Obviously, I don't want children, but I think that's a natural conclusion if you don't think you would make a good parent, don't feel a special affinity for children, or don't think you could provide well materially for offspring. If I HAD gone down those paths though, which frankly would have been understandable, it would be, "Just another textbook Western s***, that's all she is." He has made statements to the effect of "all women would be happier home with the kids in a traditional society" clearly invalidating that women are individuals and some most certainly would NOT be happier not having careers, or as mothers, for various reasons. Those women in his mind are merely abominations and everything that is wrong with society. He doesn't care what the individual factors are that comprised a woman's history and made her who she is today. All he cares about is how her current behaviour or preferences or partners affect his chances of getting laid with that woman.

posted June 14, 2015 10:20 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Aquacheeka - I'm on my phone and didn't read your last reply properly, before I posted.
That's true about attraction being unpredictable. Not everything has rules.. and emotion just *is*. You can't control or shape it. It usually shapes you!

But I really think AG needs some understanding and less attacks. I often disagree with him and debate his views, but I've never personally attacked him - because I don't feel like that would help in any way.

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I have not attacked him. I've been very honest with him. And I've also pointed out the many inconsistencies (read: blatant hypocrisies) in his line of thinking. I have been blunt in general here today. I also said that I had an ugly jawline that is too broad, and of course no one took issue with that because it was self-deprecating. I call it exactly as I see it. You want to handle AG with kid gloves, but he is a man who thinks relentlessly stereotyping women is dispensing "tough love" on that which he (claims to) love. He has a toxic line of thinking, and it is very prejudicial and hateful, I don't care the reasons for it, frankly.

posted June 14, 2015 10:21 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Why do you keep putting words in my mouth? I never said I couldn't feel empathy for any woman. Just women I don't like

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posted June 14, 2015 10:26 AM            

I'm extremely sorry to hear about what happened to you That's beyond horrible and no one should have to go through such abuse and toxic bs, let alone a child.
It's really amazing to me that you were so strong and you kept going, and put these horrible things behind you. But sadly, many people don't.

posted June 14, 2015 10:29 AM            

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Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
Which is 99% of the woman you have ever encountered? That is the number you deleted from your FB.

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posted June 14, 2015 12:49 PM            

I have a friend that borders between overweight and obese BMI. She runs marathons and you would NEVER in a billion years guess her BMI. I have another friend that's a guy, is tall, broad shouldered, narrow waist, goes to the gym 5 times a week and no belly to speak of and he's considered overweight according to BMI. When I was in my early 20's my BMI was considered underweight but I was naturally so and perfectly healthy.

posted June 14, 2015 06:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Aquacheeka,
You are just being irrational right now. I have repeatedly told you that the highest my BMI has been was 27. You have to take muscle into account. According to your rigid logic John Cena or almost any male athlete would be considered obese. I never denied being a little overweight, so i'm not in denial about anything. And since you continue to be tactless i'm going to be tactless with you. You say your bmi is 23.7 and you've never been overweight. I call bs on that one.. I saw your pics a few years and i have seen recent ones and you have slimmed down alot since then.

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Actually, I've gained weight since my mid-20's and am trying to slim down. But thank you for saying that it's not noticeable. I personally think that it is. I work out for 3 hours a week and my body fat percentage is pretty much exactly where my BMI says it would be. It takes a LOT of exercise to gain the copious amount of muscle mass necessary to render the BMI scale inaccurate. Even then it's most likely to put the average person just into the overweight scale. To have an obese BMI and have it be muscle? Yeah, you'd have to look like John Cena or a wrestler. Most Americans do not even get the recommended 30 minutes 5 days a week. So it is accurate for upwards of 90% of the population.

posted June 14, 2015 07:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonWitch:
Just as a side note, the BMI system is an extremely flawed measurement. It not only doesn't indicate the health of a person but it also doesn't indicate how a person actually carries their weight either.

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posted June 15, 2015 02:11 AM            

Yeah maybe he's ****** up from the past or something and needs healing like every other person in the world ever, but if he thinks this way about women,if he holds such strong views he can't let go of, even during casual cute little fun threads on a forum, then this stuff has to boil over to his interactions with women no matter how controlled he thinks he is. And no woman will want to get close to him if they feel a blockage or animosity, because aquaguy doesn't seem to believe in intuition, but everyone has it and we rely on it more than we think. Maybe if I out in in more sciencey words... Intuition is like instinct, you don't know in your reasoning mind why you feel bad about something but you just do.