|
Author
|
Topic: Question for the 20-something ladies out there?
|
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3978
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
|
posted June 04, 2015 10:53 PM
  
In answer to the OP, what I've seen is a sort of oscillation that runs the gamut of those who really want to be in a long, deep relationship at a young age.And those who have little interest in such a relationship and are solely unsuited for one I'm male of course, have been around the block a few times, and know a lot about social media, heck even from it's infancy on BBS's. What I've noticed is societies fracturing under attractiveness/income lines A man may feel he does not want a long relationship b/c he cannot support a family on his earnings. I've seen women not interested in starting a family as their career is their family so to say. Underneath it all, is a sort of primal drive to pro create, or at least enjoy the company of or sex with, someone they find attractive. IP: Logged |
bansheequeen
Knowflake Posts: 993
From: Beachville, USA
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted June 04, 2015 11:33 PM
quote:
Originally posted by CosmiqPhuz:
From what I've seen, there's lots of single beautiful women in bigger cities like NYC and Atlanta. Around where I live, you'll see ok-looking women with decently good-looking guys. Out in the cities, a lot of the gorgeous women are holding hands with below average looking guys. I even get stares from them while their boyfriends are right there (and I wouldn't say I'm great looking). You gotta go to where there's more women competing with each other. Out in the country and suburbs, it's almost like any girl who is at least pleasant looking will be taken or is being chased by multiple guys. Sometimes, you even have to steal someone's girlfriend (I don't encourage that but everyone's story and situation is different). I don't do internet dating, I guess I'm a bit old-fashioned. But man, it can be brutal. A lot of events in my life have happened for a reason and I guess I'll keep going with that.
Lol. That's so true. In the city girls look a lot better and you see ugly guys with pretty girls. But in the city girls want a guy they can show off, or are rich. And a guy they can show off doesn't necessarily mean good looking, it can mean rich, well dressed, nice car, high status, good job, etc. In smaller towns it's strange how not very attractive girls are all taken, or sleep around with everyone, or have guys fighting over her, stealing her from her current boyfriend, flirting with her, etc. it's not there there are less women compared to men, because the ratio is pretty much 50/50 everywhere. But it's that most women are taken, or married when they're 18. In the city, it seems like people don't get married or even serious another relationships until they're older. Also they pursue other things other than relationships, like school a career, or just clubbing and enjoyi themselves, while in small towns everyone just wants to get together because there's nothing to do. Also in small towns the women don't try as hard as women in the city do and the city has more people so of course it will seem like there's more beautiful people. But I will say this, it's good to be a woman in a small town lol. The men are nice and you get so much attention haha. But also the other women are really annoying because they all think they are total foxes because of all the attention the men give them. In the city the men are creepy and do that thing where they try to ruin your self esteem to get you to date them. It's a crappy place to be a woman because you pretty much have to keep up with the competition or you'll look dumpy by comparison. No going to the store in sweatpants and no makeup. And people mostly just date for status. I've felt lonelier and uglier living in the city. When I lived in a small town the world seriously revolved around me. IP: Logged |
Jo B
Knowflake Posts: 722
From: London, UK with myself
Registered: Feb 2014
|
posted June 04, 2015 11:40 PM
I enjoyed reading everyone's replies. My brain is too tired to put a sentence together however I guess some of us would agree to differ in opinion.  I don't think I could date anyone ever again. It all seems so exhausting! Can't I just bump into a guy somewhere, invite him over for tea and cake while he fixes a few things round the flat and then buggers off afterwards! Maybe if there's chemistry he'll get a cuddle. Sounds like the perfect arrangement to me. Like I said, I'm getting old. When you're past child-bearing age the pressure's definitely off to find someone to procreate with so I'll just sit on the shelf indefinitely and watch everyone else get off with each other. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11412
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 12:15 AM
quote:
Originally posted by bansheequeen:
it's not there there are less women compared to men, because the ratio is pretty much 50/50 everywhere.
That's not true. There can be up to a 10% (or more in some cases)inbalance in gender ratios. Here in the U.S you'll commonly see numbers like 90 men for every 100 women. But.... Keep in mind... Those numbers are for the whole population and doesn't take age into account. And the only reason the numbers wash out that way is because men tend to die younger thus leaving more women than men in the older age groups. But in the younger age groups its a different story. There are far more young men than young women but that changes as more men die off, get killed in wars etc. I don't know if its completely accurate but I saw some figures that estimated there are 4 million more single men in the dating pool in the U.S than there are women. Like I said I don't know if those numbers are completely accurate but I believe they aren't far off if they aren't accurate. Just look around! Go to any night club! What do you see? A sausage fest! Tons of horny and thirsty guys fighting over a smaller group of women. Its the same situation on dating sites. If one simply looks around one can see women clearly have the upperhand in the dating game in the U.S. Every woman seems to be taken and/or has tons of guys orbiting her hoping to get their turn. The only explanation for these things is there are more men looking than there are available women. Like one feminist blogger recently said about the online dating scene here in the U.S "D*ck is abundant and low value".IP: Logged |
Jo B
Knowflake Posts: 722
From: London, UK with myself
Registered: Feb 2014
|
posted June 05, 2015 12:24 AM
^^ I heard there are 3 times more women in New York than men, or was that just an episode I saw from Sex And The City??I'm not going there to find a man! IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 5660
From:
Registered: May 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 01:21 AM
http://nycedc.tumblr.com/post/16175652438/ratio-of-single-men-to-single-women-in-nyc-new IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11412
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 01:53 AM
There are no single women in NYC. They are all spoken for by Mr.YTAIP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 5660
From:
Registered: May 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 02:22 AM
AG -
quote:
Most women views on men are flawed. Why? Because they only see the top tier men. It's like this nonsense about white male privilege.
Some people do have flawed views regarding others or groups of others. So you are correct about *certain* women out there!
But having "flawed views" about others, or the world in general is not confined to women.
And "most" women don't have the views you are referring to. quote:
I'm a white guy and I have probably been more disadvantaged in a lot of ways than most people on this forum.
As I've said to you before, I'm more than aware that there are multiple areas of discrimination in this world.
Race is only one of many.
Financial status, cultural background, physical appearance, health/disability etc. This list goes on!
I am definitely NOT the only woman who is aware of this fact, nor am I one of the "few" women who are aware of this. Being "white" in and of itself - does not prevent a person from having problems or having a difficult life.
No one on LL would assume that you personally had an amazingly easy/happy life, simply because of your skin colour.
AG & Banshee -
quote:
I was already a loser in life and with women long before I ever opened my mouth and spoke my mind. And I would still be a loser today if I had kept all of this inside and acted like everything was just peachy.
quote:
It's ****** up. I hate dating. Most of the men of my generation I wouldn't go near with a ten foot pole. First off I don't like men that watch porn. Not jaunt because I'm jealous but that is a part of it, but because it messes up their minds.
Here is my question to you both:
Why do you focus your anger/disappointment on such a large group of people? This is what I fail to understand. When I am hurt by someone (regardless of their gender.. and whether I am romantically hurt or otherwise) - whatever anger I have is directed towards that person alone.
It's not directed to a *large* group of people they are a part of. If your views are based on past relationships - then this is a very small sample.. and your anger should be directed towards those particular individuals, not "everyone" of their gender or age. If your views are based on -observation- of others from a 3rd person POV... then, frankly you don't know nearly as much as you think you do!
Because you don't know these people (the ones you have observed) on a personal level. You are not (or were not) their psychologist - and whatever understanding you believe you have of their motivations, is VERY limited. Different people could engage in the same behaviour for very different reasons. One person could be genuinely -emotionally immature- with a very high sex drive, and cause problems in the lives of others by treating sex casually, with no forethought. Another person could have had an abusive childhood.. and parents who fought like cats and dogs - so they might simply have no faith in "positive" relationships - and they might feel like - *All there is, is sex* A third person could suffer from mental illness and be a full blown NPD who intentionally manipulates people into sleeping with him/her - for narcissistic supply. A fourth person could be a closet asexual who is faking promiscuity (I should know, since i've been there! lol). If you wanted to generalise the above, from a 3rd person POV.. you could look at these people and pick on some common factor - like their age.. and then say, "Oh Well.. All (or most) teenagers treat sex casually these days". This kind of generalisation completely ignores their individuality, their separate psychological makeup, their astrological makeup - and their entire lives up until the point when you have the pleasure to make their acquaintance! IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 5660
From:
Registered: May 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 02:22 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
There are no single women in NYC. They are all spoken for by Mr.YTA
LOL IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 5660
From:
Registered: May 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 02:26 AM
YTA = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W5pq4bIzIw IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11412
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 02:32 AM
Odette,
How can you say that you don't direct your anger at large groups of people when you hate taurus moons? Honestly,I would consider you a Taurus moonandrist. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 5660
From:
Registered: May 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 02:49 AM
^ I had a feeling you would say that or that Faith would bring up Pisces Moons But whenever I have talked seriously about these placements, I was referring to my experiences with people who have them. I do not AT ALL believe that every Taurus Moon or Pisces Moon person in the world will behave exactly the same way or have the exact same issues. I do think when it comes to synastry though - that some placements are more or less compatible with others.
In the same way that people with a particular psychological profile could be more or less compatible with others (of a different psychological profile).
Based on the past experiences I've had, I don't consider myself to be very compatible with these placements.
But I wouldn't judge new people coming into my life on that basis. PS. I said - "whenever I have talked about this seriously....." because I've also joked around with you about Taurus Moon many times. That doesn't count  IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11412
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 02:59 AM
Yea Yea.... Sure IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 5660
From:
Registered: May 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 03:47 AM
 IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11412
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 04:10 AM
Odette *knock knock knock* Odette *knock knock knock*IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 3224
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 05:24 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Jo B:
I enjoyed reading everyone's replies. My brain is too tired to put a sentence together however I guess some of us would agree to differ in opinion. I don't think I could date anyone ever again. It all seems so exhausting! Can't I just bump into a guy somewhere, invite him over for tea and cake while he fixes a few things round the flat and then buggers off afterwards! Maybe if there's chemistry he'll get a cuddle. Sounds like the perfect arrangement to me. Like I said, I'm getting old. When you're past child-bearing age the pressure's definitely off to find someone to procreate with so I'll just sit on the shelf indefinitely and watch everyone else get off with each other.
Well, what if you like men for more than their sperm-having abilities? I'm 150% childfree and I still date lol.
IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 5660
From:
Registered: May 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 05:49 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Odette *knock knock knock* Odette *knock knock knock*
O_O Holy crap on a cracker! IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 5660
From:
Registered: May 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 05:49 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
Well, what if you like men for more than their sperm-having abilities? I'm 150% childfree and I still date lol.
 IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 5660
From:
Registered: May 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 05:51 AM
AG - I have this feeling... kinda like you're changing the subject... because you know I'm right...  IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11412
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 05:53 AM
That Pisces mercury of yours must encourage some pretty crazy dreams. IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 3224
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 06:53 AM
Aquaguy, have you tried dating women who are older than you are? I'm just wondering because if you're in a commitment-minded frame of mind and you actually want to have children in the next 5 years, it would make sense to date a woman who wants that too.A lot of these manosphere guys will say they can't get a date or that they are "involuntarily celibate" but then they won't date older women, or women who are the "wrong" race, or they talk about "attraction floors" and say they can't date women below a certain threshold of attractiveness because their d**ks won't allow it. IP: Logged |
Jo B
Knowflake Posts: 722
From: London, UK with myself
Registered: Feb 2014
|
posted June 05, 2015 07:23 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
Well, what if you like men for more than their sperm-having abilities? I'm 150% childfree and I still date lol.
Oh I was just kidding. Of course I don't just see men as sperm donors. What I suppose I mean is I leave them with a get-out clause in our dating arrangement in case they want kids (which I cannot offer). The ones who genuinely want to be with me would stick around I guess. I think this is more my "time out" period in relationships and I'm quite happy not really getting involved with anyone currently. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11412
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 07:24 AM
How old are we talking?
I've been attracted to women up to 15 years older but I wouldn't go beyond that. Just last year I was talking to a 35 year old woman. She hit on me, asked me for my number, and asked me out. I was thinking "damn this is a nice change of pace" but then she wouldn't answer my texts when we were supposed to go out. So I let it go but it was still bothering me a few weeks later so I texted her again and asked "what happened?" And she replied that she met her soulmate and got pregnant by him. I laughed at her and told her she was full of sh*t but she ended up sending me a pic of her pregnancy test. So some time after we made plans and before our planned date she had hooked up with her "soulmate" and got pregnant. Gee I wonder how that one turned out.  IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 3224
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 10:32 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
How old are we talking?
I've been attracted to women up to 15 years older but I wouldn't go beyond that. Just last year I was talking to a 35 year old woman. She hit on me, asked me for my number, and asked me out. I was thinking "damn this is a nice change of pace" but then she wouldn't answer my texts when we were supposed to go out. So I let it go but it was still bothering me a few weeks later so I texted her again and asked "what happened?" And she replied that she met her soulmate and got pregnant by him. I laughed at her and told her she was full of sh*t but she ended up sending me a pic of her pregnancy test. So some time after we made plans and before our planned date she had hooked up with her "soulmate" and got pregnant. Gee I wonder how that one turned out.
Well it's good that you're keeping an open mind. I would encourage you to do that. A lot of the girls I know who are in their early 30's prefer men a few years younger. To the extent that they're almost excluding men who are their own age or older from consideration. Once you get into 5-7 years older, sometimes you encounter resistance because the woman worries that you're too good for her or may one day leave her for a younger woman. If you can manage to convince her otherwise you'd probably date a woman where the power dynamic is shifted in your favour. I'm just sayin'. IP: Logged |
bansheequeen
Knowflake Posts: 993
From: Beachville, USA
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted June 05, 2015 02:09 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by bansheequeen:
[b] it's not there there are less women compared to men, because the ratio is pretty much 50/50 everywhere.
That's not true. There can be up to a 10% (or more in some cases)inbalance in gender ratios. Here in the U.S you'll commonly see numbers like 90 men for every 100 women. But.... Keep in mind... Those numbers are for the whole population and doesn't take age into account. And the only reason the numbers wash out that way is because men tend to die younger thus leaving more women than men in the older age groups. But in the younger age groups its a different story. There are far more young men than young women but that changes as more men die off, get killed in wars etc. I don't know if its completely accurate but I saw some figures that estimated there are 4 million more single men in the dating pool in the U.S than there are women. Like I said I don't know if those numbers are completely accurate but I believe they aren't far off if they aren't accurate. Just look around! Go to any night club! What do you see? A sausage fest! Tons of horny and thirsty guys fighting over a smaller group of women. Its the same situation on dating sites. If one simply looks around one can see women clearly have the upperhand in the dating game in the U.S. Every woman seems to be taken and/or has tons of guys orbiting her hoping to get their turn. The only explanation for these things is there are more men looking than there are available women. Like one feminist blogger recently said about the online dating scene here in the U.S "D*ck is abundant and low value".[/B][/QUOTE]Well if you only take into account the dating pool of course there will be more men. Women are more into settling down with one person and usually there seems to be a cutoff age for women and dating, but not men. In those clubs you probably won't see more young aged men than women. Society thinks men are date able forever (if he's got status) but women expire. Also it seems like women don't have much success or don't try dating after having children, men still do. That cuts. Lot of women out of the dating pool because so many people split up. Plus. There is a smaller ratio in the dating pool because women don't HAVE to make themselves available to get men. I mean,some man found rapunzel locked up in a tower. The thirst is real. This is just my opinion but I think people in general are cheap and abundant on dating sites so if you use them, you start seeing the gender of your choice as low value, and others that see you there will have that same view. I've known friends that used dating sites and usually they seem to value someone they met in person more than someone they met online, even if the person they met online was a safer bet on compatibility. IP: Logged |
Topic Closed
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
