posted May 14, 2009 09:58 AM         

what if the star crossed lovers aspect is the link to twin flames. As this is concidered the impossible relationship, They are born near you, yet are impossible to get to due to them moving overseas, having lots of money ect.. and yet there is a strong pull between you. You would still need to have the other soulmate aspects, but if you had this aspect as well it might explain who they are in relation to you.

What do you think?

It would most likely be the

conjunction SN - venus
square SN - venus

(I read somewhere it was venus conj SN, I also included square)

posted May 14, 2009 10:29 AM         

Personally I think, Twinflames or rather Other Halves, have to have complimentary strong natal placements / aspects PLUS complimentary synastry aspects PLUS the all important links to ASC, IC and TRUE NODE, and probably they will also have those complimentary asteroid couples (not all of them, but I think they would have maybe 2 or 3 of these couples in aspect?).

BTW with complimentary I mean that "key-and-lock" thing, the one person has what the other is seeking and vice versa.
Like for example a guy has ruler of 7th house in 4th house, his girl has ruler of 1st house in 4th house, preferably conjunct his 7th ruler.
And girl maybe has DSC in Scorpio and guy has ruler of 1 conjunct Pluto (just an example).

I also think with twinflames you will see that repeating pattern of complimentary aspects / positions, but it will not be enought o have just one.
Oh and there has to be an exact ASC-aspect - definitely. As ASC is the moment your soul was brought to earth.

EDIT:
For the asteroid couples I would look at the major ones, those which are very dominant and represent a certain them in a culture / mythology, like:

Isis / Osiris (Egyptian)
Siva / Kaali (Indian)
Eros / Psyche (Greek, Roman)
Adonis / Inanna (Sumerian)
Pluto / Persephone, Proserpina (Roman)
Jupiter / Juno (Roman)
Arthur / Guinevere (Anglo-Saxon)
Lancelot / Guinevere
Tristan / Isolda

The Arthru-Guinevere-Lancelot and Tristan-Isolda are a bit different, as they are represented by humans, while the others are made up of Gods and Goddesses, except for the Eros-Psyche-couple, which contains a God and a mortal (a meeting of heaven and earth, the material and the divine sphere).

BTW I have the Venus-NN-square aspect in the synastry with R and it has the same interpretation "Star crossed lovers".

Regarding that report I must say they use very generous orbs, I really feel uncomfortable with using an 8 degree orb for Chiron aspects.

Personally I would only consider orbs up to 5 or 6 degrees, and have my own category-system.

0 - 2 degree are strong

2 - 4 degree are medium

4 - 6 degree are weak

And for sextile and quinkunx I use half the orb. Maybe it would be useful to use half the orb for asteroids, too.

Strong orbed aspects will be definitely felt, probably so insistent that you have difficulties to detach from them and look objectively at the relationship. You just react.

Medium orbed aspects will be also felt, but not as insistent as the strong ones, and it is probably easier to influence your reaction to them.

posted May 14, 2009 11:06 AM         

Johnny and I have ASC/MC conjunct(0)

My IC conjunct his NN (4)
His venus conjunct my SN (6)
venus treine moon DW
Eros/iris square Psyche/iris (5)
My Uranus conjunct his IC - , my DC and is the ruler of his seventh.(4th & 7th)
my saturn opp his moon -saturn the ruler of his seventh, moon ruler of my 4th. (4th & 7th)
my draco Osiris conjunct his natal sun
his draco moon and Isis conjunct my natal moon

I know he is a soulmate but trying to find at what type of soulmate he is?

posted May 14, 2009 11:20 AM         

This could happen in the synastry, composite or Davison.
It was just as surprising as the fact that there always was an aspect of Venus (or Psyche or Isis or Moon or DSC or ruler of 7) AND Karma / NN / Vertex to Atlantis (and often there was also a Chiron-Atlantis aspect).

But I`m not sure if we can find out if he is your Twinflame.
However, maybe it would make sense to see in your natals what you have in common and what is complimentary.

Also, Isis-Osiris-synastry (mature soulmates) will be different than Kaali - Siva synastry (tantric soulmates, very sexual and intense) or Eros-Psyche-synastry (young soulmates with a combination of an erotic yet soulful bond).

Or Pluto-Proserpina (dark, transformative, a meeting of light and dark, the old dark ruler of the underworld merges with the young innocent maiden of the spring, and by that both get transformed).

Or Lancelot - guinevere would be very romantic, but also connected to sacrifice, as well as Tristan and Isolda (those were really starcrossed lovers).

Is there complimentarity on the 1st house - 7th house level? You may feel like natural partners, there is a lot of attraction.

Does it happen on the 2nd house - 8th hosue level, it goes really deep, almost scary and erotic and very intimate (that form of intimacy that gets you under your skin).

Does it happen on the 4th - 10th house level, there may be a soul bond without sexual implications (unless there are other strong sexual overtones in the synastry), some sort of family feeling.

posted May 14, 2009 11:28 AM         

I found a few of those god/godesses aspects:
ASC opp ASC (1)
osiris trine isis (1)
siva quincunx kaali (1)
siva sextile kaali (4)
eros trine psyche (5)
eros trine psyche (4)
adonis trine innanen (2)
pluto trine proserpina (3)
jupiter semi sextile juno (0)
jupiter square juno (2)
arthur sextile guinevere (2)
arthur sextile guinevere (0)
launcelot semi sextile guinevere (1)
tristan quincunx isolde (1)
venus sextile NN (2)

posted May 14, 2009 11:39 AM         

I was looking for double whammies to ASC or IC using a 3 degree orb.
"That little comparision shows that these double whammies with ASC or IC are indeed rare, and appear quite often in relationships, that have at least high soulmate-potential.
Also, those double whammies seem to involve planets, that rule the important relationship houses (1st, 4th, 5th, 7th, 8th) or MC."

"So, I guess we can narrow this down even more.
Double whammies with ASC should be:
1. with planets which rule the 1st, 4th, 5th, 7th, 8th or 10th house

2. within a reasonable orb (2° - 3° max.)

3. the connecting planet should fall into the 1st, 4th, 5th, 7th, 8th or 10th house of the other person (at least one way).

this seems to work for Equal as well as Placidus -"

I also once "invented" a system to differentiate between romance-mates, karma-mates and soul-mates.

Iīve been pondering about a method to classify the different aspects to get a clearer picture, what REALLY is happening in a relationship, and I`ve come up with something.

1. Romance:

this implies there is romantic or sexual attraction, without so much "soulstuff" happening. We all know we can feel heavily drawn to someone, who is not our soulmate.

Aspects between:
Sun, Venus, Mars, ASC / DSC, ruler of 1st house, 5th house and 7th house

- here the person who is the DSC, ruler of 7th house or ruler of 5th house or even Venus will be the attracted one, who is drawn to the other one`s identity

2. Soulmates

here we have those connections that reach really deep into the soul, which is the reason I used the waterhouses for this. I also used Neptune and Pluto, even though they are outer planets, but they are natural rulers of 12th and 8th house AND Neptune is the higher octave of romantic Venus and Pluto is the higher octave of passionate Mars - such a beautiful symmetry.

aspects between:
Moon, Neptune, Pluto, IC, ruler of IC, ruler of 8th and 12th house

- I think if you have many aspects between those planets and points, this is a very strong hint towards you being soulmates of some kind (I am not talking of twinsouls though). But without any of the connections mentioned under ROMANCE, you will probably not become romantically involved.

3. Karma
Those are the connections that have something to do with your "lessons" and experiences you will make that lead you to growth.

aspects between Saturn, Vertex, NN, Vertex, ruler of NN and SN, ruler of Vertex and Antivertex

- I am using the rulers of Vertex and NN here, because they are an axis just like ASC - DSC or IC-MC.

I know I left some out like Mercury, Jupiter and Uranus, MC, 2nd, 6th, 3rd and 11th and 9th house.

Well, those will probably relate more to the practical or intellectual side of a relationship, which is definitely important.

Well, pulling Saturn our of the karmic column, we could make something like:

social / practical:
aspects between Mercury, Saturn, MC, ruler of 2nd, 6th and 10th house (maybe also Venus here, because she is natural ruler of 2nd house).

intellectual:
aspects between Mercury, Jupiter, Uranus, ruler of 3rd, 9th and 11th house.

But put those into mental bracket, as I have not thought this through.

Now you can also list the "mixed bags" as I call them.

a) karmic romance

Those would be the interconnection between the Romanceplanets / points and the karmicsignificators,

for example:

Venus-Vertex
ASC - Saturn
Mars - NN and so on

those probably show where you have unfinished Karma which will be worked through in the context of Romance (which can imply a romantic relationship or the painful experience of rejection; maybe it also signifies if you have already had a romantic relationship in a past life, especially if the SN is being triggered).

b) karmic soulmates
a connection between soulmates and karma

example:
IC - Vertex
Moon - Saturn
Neptune - NN

those will be very deep experiences, that will change a part of your soul or at least shake it up, but not necessarily in a romantic relationship. Maybe just as friends or even family relatives (especially if the IC is triggered).

Also, in this case I`d definitely look if these aspects are connected to romance planets, too, especially if you have something like Saturn opposite Neptune, which will be pretty generational, unless it is tied to angles or personal planets.

c) romantic soulmates

interconnection between romance and soulmates

I think most Twinsouls will fall into that category, as it is loving and deep (in the best case scenario).
Romantic attraction coupled with a sense of belonging and ties to each other`s soul. Need I say more?

As I said, it is just a rough draft, and I know you can look at it from different angles, too.

But what I think is important is that you compare the triggered planets in your chart (Moon, IC, Venus, DSC, whatever)

to the planets and points that relate most closely to the other person`s identity:

Sun, Moon, (Venus, Mars), ASC, ruler of ASC, IC, ruler of IC, ruler of 5th (maybe)

Do that for each person and you will get a clearer picture of what is happening inside them.

However, even if everything is peachy here, it`s still only a potential, which needs to be triggered by progressed synastry and of course you msut not forget about the natals, either. ACtually you should start there, see what your astrological type is, and if the other person fits it natally (BEFORE you do the synastry):

Your astrological type:
DSC - sign
planets in 7
ruler of 7 in sign and house
conjunctions to ruler of 7
sign at the cusp of 5th house
planets in 5th house
ruler of 5th house in sign and house
conjunctions to ruler of 5th hosue

And for the BRAVE ones:

sign on the cusp of the 8th house
planets in 8th house
ruler of 8th house in house and sign
conjunctions to ruler of 8th house

(but remember, 8th house is so deeply passioante that some people choose to deny it, just as they suppress their 4th house sometimes).

To see if the other one fits your astrological type, look at HIS natal:

ASC sign
planets in 1st house
ruler of ASC in sign and house
conjunctions to ruler of ASC

IC sign
planets in 4th house
ruler of 4th house in sign and house
conjunctions to ruler of 4th house

And this will surprise you, but you could also risk a glance at the 2nd house (as it is the physical manifestation of the body, and adds some nuances to your appearance.)
So cusp of 2nd house
ruler of 2nd house in house and sign
conjunction to ruler of 2nd house
planets in 2nd house

For planets there are many theories floating around. One sais to look at Sun and Mars to see what you are attracted to (if you are a woman) and if you`re a man, look at your Moon and Venus to see what is attractive to you.
And look at Moon and Venus of a woman for her identity, and at Sun and Mars for a man`s identity.

Another theory sais that Venus ALWAYS shows what one is attracted to, no matter if you are a man or woman.
I can`t decide, Venus rules my 5th house, so she has a say in what I am attracted to anyway.

But what is pretty clear is that Sun and Moon are part of the identity of BOTH sexes.
And Venus probably is part of the identity of a woman, while Mars is part of the male identity, too.

And I did yet another one; another tidbit or fragment:

posted May 14, 2009 11:44 AM         

George and I have lots of DW's
and involving rulers of first and seventh,
venus - neptune.
sun - venus
Eros - venus
venus - pluto
ect...

posted May 14, 2009 11:47 AM         

1st concept / theory / idea:
Regarding the STernberg-theory (The top synergy site seems to work with this one, too):

Intimacy:
Moon, 4th house, IC
Venus, 7th house
Neptune, 12th house

(I chose those, because they are all so called "soft" planets; also, the Magi call them "romance planets"; in an earlier way to categorize them, before I even knew of that theory, I looked at them for emotional compatibility; so intimacy = emotional in my definition; I also considered to get the 8th house and Pluto in here, because this way I would have all the water signs in one category, but Pluto just doesn`t fit the "soft" image in my book. Of course Pluto can add a lot to create intimacy, but interestingly only in interaspects with the other "soft" planets, like Moon-Pluto or Venus-Pluto or IC-Pluto, and even then there`s a sense of obsession always there, which feels too "dynamic" to just call him an "intimacy-planet"; Also, if Pluto is in aspect to Sun or Mars, the emphasis doesn`t really like on intimacy, warm, tender feelings for each other, does it?)

Passion:
Sun, 5th house
Mars, 1st house, ASC
Pluto, 8th house
I chose those, because those are very dynamic, active planets and another reason is that whenever you put them together with an intimacy-planet (Sun-Venus, Sun-Moon, Venus-Mars, Moon - Mars etc.), you get a very passionate exchange, but not purely physical, it actually is exactly what STernberg describes as "romantic love", a combination of intimacy and passion.
Also, Pluto is the higher octave of Mars, as Neptune is said to be the higher octave of Venus, so I thought they should stay together in one category.
Before I knew this theory I called those planets the "physical" ones.

Well, and now comes the area, that causes problems.
According to STernberg there is a third area of commitment. I`m inclined to include those planets here:

Commitment:
Mercury / 6th house (who would be more commited than a Virgo-type?)
Saturn / 10th house / MC
Venus / 2nd house

So, all earth-signs are together here, which makes sense to me. I once thought aspects between those, and especially house-positions have something to do with social, committed relationships which are based on duty, security and demandings of the social environment, but not necessarily on true love (if there is the main emphasis on these houses).
Of course the presence of Venus and Mercury makes it all difficult, because Venus also is the planet of love.

But now comes the real problem, because I still have 3 planets / houses remaining.

1. MErcury / 3rd house
2. Jupiter / 9th house
3. Uranus / 11th house

In my own categorization I called them "mental, intellectual" planets, good for a communicative exchange and friendships, which are not based on too much feelings, neither intimate ones nor passionate ones.
But I can`t bring myself to see Uranus as a part of commitment or intimacy or passion (even though Uranus can be exciting and rouse passion, but only if in contact with the "emotional" and "physical" planets).

Oh, even though I probably get annoying by writing so much, my own theory (before I came across those styles) was like this:

1. Eros (physical compatibility)
Sun - 5th house
Mars - 1st house
Pluto - 8th house

2. Agape (emotional compatibility)
Moon - 4th house
Venus - 7th house
Neptune - 12th house

3. Ludus / Storge (intellectual compatibility, good for friendships)
Mercury - 3rd house
Jupiter - 9th house
Uranus - 11th house

4. Pragma (social compatibility)
Mercury - 6th house
Venus - 2nd house
Saturn - 10th house

I tested my theory (returned to my old one again) on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. It was just a rough draft, because I didn`t differentiate between certain aspects, and it certainly would be a difference, if there was a conjunction in connection to the 5th house or just a weak wideorbed sextile.

However, the results of my rough analysis were as following:

The overall relationship (all aspects together):

Eros (physical / sexual): 26,5%
Agape (emotional / intimacy): 26%
Ludus / Storge (intellectual): 19,5%
Pragma (social): 28%

It seems to me a good overall result; 25% would be the average, so all areas seem to have their say; the intellectual level is a little weak, and interestingly the social area is the strongest, but the physical and emotional are good, too. So, a fairly good result.

Now, I`m looking at both individual scores:

Brad:
physical: 29%
emotional: 25%
intellectual: 20%
social: 26%

Angelina:
physical: 23,5%
emotional: 27%
intellectual: 18,5%
social: 31%

Still a good result, methinks. Quite balanced.

But there are also some differences.
Brad reacts on a social, emotional and physical level to Angelina, which is what we want to see in a good relationship. His results are very close to each other, so no area is ESPECIALLY important to him, his attraction to her is multilayered.

Her case is a little bit different, though.
It is very noteable, that there is an emphasis on the social area (I consider everything over 30% as above average and strong). The next highest score is the emotional level. Probably she considers themselves to be emotionally bonded workmates, a great team who can accomplish important things together. A part of the high score in "social" is because Brad gives a lot of personal planets into her 6th house; so the everyday life seems to play an important role for her.

Also, if you compare Brad`s results with hers, you can see that the greatest difference is in the area "physical"; he scores 29%, she scores 23,5%, so I guess, he is the one who feels a stronger sexual attraction, even though her result is still a good one. Under 20% would be bad, I guess. Or a score that is VERY different from her partner`s, but in this case it`s quite balanced.

Hmm, maybe I find a pair that doesn`t match like that.

DD

have found another couple.
It`s been a teenage-romance that lasted for 7 years, so a real relationship.
On the outside it was picture perfect, but on the inside the passion on the boy`s side died fairly quickly and also despite their commitment to each other and to the relationship, he always was a bit detached and treated this more like a "friendship".

HOwever their overall result was:
physical: 24%
emotional: 25%
intellectual: 20%
social: 31%
It looks like a fairly good result; the high score in "social" shows their commitment and the image they showed to the outer world; they were also a very good working team.
The physical aspect is at least average, and even despite their difficulties in this area, they never stopped having sex.

But the real challenging lay in their different individual results:

Boy:
physical: 18%
emotional: 26%
intellectual: 25%
social: 31%

Girl:
physical: 30%
emotional: 24%
intellectual: 15%
social: 31%

Well, the difference in the score of the physical area is quite something to chew on. 18% vs. 30%. No wonder she didn`t feel attractive to him.
Apart from that she didn`t need as much intellectual exchange as him; playing mindgames and such things. Actually during the whole relationship with him she felt "stupid" compared to him, which is absolutely not true.
So, it all comes down to their different needs. She would have needed a more physical exchange, whereas he would have wanted more communication with her.
The funny thing is she is a very communicative girl; only with him she couldn`t talk properly.

posted May 14, 2009 11:50 AM         

Vesta,

posted May 14, 2009 12:03 PM         

I sent you the report. And Diandra, too.

"ASC opp ASC (1)"
Definitely a strong attraction pattern. Personally I think that a conjunction of any angle to another would be a strong hint towards a soulmate-relationship.
In the case of ASC-DSC more romantic, in the case of the IC-MC-axis more family-like.
And the conjunction of IC and DSC or their respective rulers seems to be a VERY Strong sign for a soulmate relationship.

"osiris trine isis (1)"
Definitely a nice one.

"siva quincunx kaali (1)"
Uncertain about that. Yes, there is *some* resonance, but conjunction or opposition would be stronger.

"adonis trine innanen (2)"
Nice one.

"pluto trine proserpina (3)"
Also a good one.

"jupiter square juno (2)"
Intense one.

"arthur sextile guinevere (2)
arthur sextile guinevere (0)"
Like that DW.

"tristan quincunx isolde (1)"
AGain there is resonance, but it could be stronger. but Then you don`t really want that Romeo and Juliet theme, do you?
Musicman and me have that.
His Isolda nearly exactly conjunct my Tristan. My Isolda tightly trine his Tristan. The composite had an exact Isolda-Tristan-trine.
As you know I had a major crush on him for years, almost like I was under a spell (which Tristan and Isolda were!), but as he is gay, it was just impossible.
(We also had a composite plastered with Eros-Psyche-opposition, Isis-Osiris-conjunction etc.) lol

Personally in a twinflame relationship I want to see CONJUNCTIONS, maybe also OPPOSITIONS. As those are like pointers.
Why are they like pointers?
Easy they only point into one direction like an arrow. The opposition points at a point from the opposite place, and the conjunction is already there (the end of the arrow).
But they do not point into another direction simultaneously.

Whereas square, sextile or trine, point into two directions.
Example:
A guy`s Venus in Aries might trine a girl`s ASC in Sagittarius, but it also (theoretically) trines the same degree in Leo.
so he basically sais: "I really like that Sag-girl. She could be the one."
Then he looks to the left side smiles and sais: "But if she`s not interested, there`s still this Leo-Moon girl, which is just as interesting. So no matter how it goes I can only win."

posted May 14, 2009 12:11 PM         

1. Conjunction / Opposition under 2 degrees with ASC or IC

2. DW`s under 2 degree (best if they are conjunction / opposition)

- DW within 2 degree with the ASC or IC would be a very strong sign I think.

- also DW`s with Moon or Venus for a romantic-soul-relationship (at least one of the aspects being a conjunction or opposition)

posted May 14, 2009 12:19 PM         

Plus you have so many DW`s.

posted May 14, 2009 12:26 PM         

Somehow, I knew you were going to say pluto/persephone.

posted May 14, 2009 12:34 PM         

Stamped, sealed and delivered.

posted May 14, 2009 01:40 PM         

i like your analogy very much
From those categories and aspects you listed i looked for the "soulmate" ones between my platonic friend and me, and yea, lots of aspects between those plantes/angles you listed. (Though i would also add South Node and Saturn to this list)

So he's someone i love very much, and whome i share and extremely deep soul connection, and we have the following aspects:
-his IC ruler conjunct my IC (0)
-his Moon conjunct my Neptun (4)
-my IC ruler conjunct his South Node (2)
-his IC conjunct my Desc (2)
-his Neptune trine my Sun (1)
-his Venus conjunct my IC (3)
-sun-saturn DW (sextile, trine)
-sun-pluto DW (opposiiton, conjunction)
-his saturn trine my IC (3)

And these are just the most significant ones.

And yea, even though we also have some "romantic" aspect lik,e
-his Venus conjunct my Desc
-his Jupiter conjunct my Venus and trine my mars
-his Venus trine my Sun
-his Mars conjunct my pluto
its obvious that the soul connection is much more stronger than the physical attraction. So guess, its not a surprise that we're "just" friends.

posted May 14, 2009 02:30 PM         

" like your analogy very much "
Thank you.

"Though i would also add South Node and Saturn to this list)"
I have sorted them into karmic aspects.
Personally I think that a combination of karmic and soulmate aspects can be very strong.
The karmic lesson, that comes with those contact, gives the whole connection a strong urgency and intensity.

"its obvious that the soul connection is much more stronger than the physical attraction."
Yes, it is a very strong soul connection in your case.
Even though Iw onder that Mars-Pluto-conjunction, is it in tight orb? Falling or ruling 1st, 5th, 7th or 8th house?
And you say there is no physical attraction?
Oh btw is it your Pluto and HIS Mars? Could it be that he has a different take on this?
Especially if it touches his 5th, 7th or 8th house?

I have that conjunction with someone, and hsi Mars is also square my Venus, and it nearly drove me crazy. It was some sort of "forbidden" attraction on my side, and the energy was very strong, very physical. But my Venus rules my 5th house and was also conjunct his Eros, so maybe that became even stronger through this.

" So guess, its not a surprise that we're "just" friends."
Doesn`t sound like you`re just friends.

"But we really love each other, just not in a romantical way"
Yes, it makes sense. The strong IC-connection seems to hint at a really deep soulconnection, and sometimes this familiarity stands in the way of a physical relationship.

I strongly suspect that especially Neptune may have such an influence, too. (Pluto-aspects are always passionate, too, which can easily express in seemingly physical ways).
But Neptune, as magical and romantic this is, seems to make a connection a bit too "pure", so spiritual, that it could take the platonic route.

Of course it depends on the overall pattern.

posted May 14, 2009 02:53 PM         

Of course I would send you one.

posted May 14, 2009 03:36 PM         

the one i didnt felt identified was the one with 8orb :P

allt hat said about meant to be,love at 1st sight,our sense that we know each other from past lives?it is all there!

but also our own difficulties:the past relationships that caused wounds,childwood traumas...those still haunt our love in some situations.

we are developing our comunication skills,specially me adn it is a lot more easier now - we both tended to feel misunderstood and hurted when we had arguments-but now we are understanding each otherīs more and helping the other one to heal and be healed.

that is also there in the report and is so accurate....

we also have ths star crossed lovers -- dont know how that can be played out but in our inicial stage of relatisonhip...we had our families against our love.

posted May 14, 2009 04:28 PM         

From my part, there is, though its surely not the strongest i've ever felt for a guy, but still not bad,lol
As for him, i have no clue, cause im sure that im the only woman who slept at his home without having sex with him,lol
(btw, Mars is the ruler of his 5th, but didnt help Though i know that its partly because we"re 11 years apart (he being the older one), and thats a problem for him, he told me this at the very beggining.

But yea, no one really belive that nothing happened between us, but its true, and thats why i said that we are just friends. Obviously i feel much more, and he as well, i think, but he didnt want more. And fortunatly i could accept it with time, but yea, i love him deeply, i cant help

posted May 14, 2009 05:01 PM         

"(btw, Mars is the ruler of his 5th, but didnt help Though i know that its partly because we"re 11 years apart (he being the older one), and thats a problem for him, he told me this at the very beggining."
So, he DID feel something of that energy! Why should he have told you, if he didn`t feel the chemistry?

And sure, we always have the choice if we act on our feelings or not. With exact aspects it`s usually rather difficult to NOT act upon them though.
How exact is that conjunction?

" Obviously i feel much more, and he as well, i think, but he didnt want more. And fortunatly i could accept it with time"
But if he made the first step, you`d be more than willing to participate?
But as things are now you`d be scared to destroy a wonderful friendship?

"Neptune is also about illusions, so always need to be careful when you have strong neptune aspets with someone..."
Definitely. There`s a fine line between heavenly spiritual and illusions and fantasy.

Also, I think Neptune in hard aspect (conjunction, square, opposition) to the romantic / sexual planets Venus and Mars could prove difficult in a relationship (not impossible though).
There is always the risk, that they donīt want the same.
While Venus / Mars would want a more physical and earthy relationship and might be bewitched by Neptune and especially Mars would want to take it further, Neptune might "just" feel compassionate love for the other one and there could be a lot of confusion about what is REALLY going on between two people.

On the other hand Venus/Neptune-aspects can also be deeply soul-felt, magical, blissful, forgiving, truely loving.
But it`s best not to forget, that Venus and Neptune represent two different kinds of love. Neptune is usually not that personal as Venus might hope or believe.