posted September 09, 2016 08:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
OK.

Why doesn't someone start a discussion thread to civilly air issues with whatever member they are struggling to get along with?

To avoid anyone feeling ganged up on, others should have the respect to stay out of the thread and let the two people hold an equal discussion.

The thread titles could simply state "Discussion between (username) and (username)" - this makes it clear this is a read-only thread for anyone not named in the title.

Anyone want to try?

Would be good to have a "Problem-Solving Forum", with rules that protect against bullying, personal attacks and mobbing.

This would not only help keep issues out of other threads, but it would also set the grounds for understanding and actually resolving issues, instead of pretending the elephant is not in the room.

Any thoughts?

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Well it's like a class-action suit. The nature of the problem is, one person is exerting too much negative influence, and that affects many people. If it's just one person's word against another's, it will be a stalemate. The evidence to back up the charge consists of a crowd of people saying, "Yes, it's true, you are deliberately and consistently generating a collective mind-f*ck on all of us."

Sorry if that sounds excessive, but it's truly how I regard the problem.

@bonsai & DG - Thanks

posted September 09, 2016 08:27 AM            

I am seeing two camps on LL when situations like this arise, not just one against many.

What is clear is that the current dynamics are not fostering a community atmosphere.

It's not about eradicating problems, that will never happen, that is life, they will arise.
*How* problems are handled when they do arise is what will determine whether the outcome is positive or negative for the community.

I think it's worth trying. What's the point in staying in the same place that's not serving anyone?

posted September 09, 2016 08:28 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
@bonsai & DG - Thanks

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posted September 09, 2016 08:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:

It's not about eradicating problems, that will never happen, that is life, they will arise.
*How* problems are handled when they do arise is what will determine whether the outcome is positive or negative for the community.

I think it's worth trying. What's the point in staying in the same place that's not serving anyone?

I see no winners in this thread, or any of the others that end up this way.

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posted September 09, 2016 08:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
I hear what you are saying Faith, however, if we just look at this thread, there is not just one person on one side of the fence and a group on the other.
It is often the same in other threads.

I am seeing two camps on LL when situations like this arise, not just one against many.

What is clear is that the current dynamics are not fostering a community atmosphere.

It's not about eradicating problems, that will never happen, that is life, they will arise.
*How* problems are handled when they do arise is what will determine whether the outcome is positive or negative for the community.

I think it's worth trying. What's the point in staying in the same place that's not serving anyone?

I see no winners in this thread, or any of the others that end up this way.

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Many threads end up this way because we lack leadership.

Randall does ban trolls.

And he has banned Ami from two subforums, but she moderates others. So we are moderated by a troublemaker, and of course that will cause resentment. And it causes people to leave, as they explicitly state sometimes upon their departure. It almost goes without saying that that pains me especially, since I tend to be like-minded with the people who leave in protest.

But this site is such a great opportunity for astrologers to forge together and have a healthy atmosphere! And I'm a Capricorn and have trouble giving up my hope that we can evolve beyond this. So I haven't left along with the others. Not yet.

posted September 09, 2016 08:44 AM            

I agree. All parties must approach problem-solving discussion with the spirit of seeking understanding of the other.

If *both* parties done this, there is a high chance of the problem being solved, agreements being made, or at the very least, a civil agreement to disagree and move along.

But agreeing to disagree rarely resolves anything if the issue has not been given sufficient time and space to be explored in the spirit of understanding *the other*.

Faith,

I hear you, but a community can also self-manage if the members are willing to seek understanding of their differences, and this type of self-management ultimately empowers the members more than Randall always stepping in.

Of course there is hope! This is a community of articulate, deep-thinking, development-focused individuals.

posted September 09, 2016 08:46 AM            

And her threads are fun, and they are a good contribution. i always just skim past the parts i dont think are accurate like asteroids

posted September 09, 2016 08:50 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
Faith,

I hear you, but a community can also self-manage if the members are willing to seek understanding of their differences, and this type of self-management ultimately empowers the members more than Randall always stepping in.

Of course there is hope! This is a community of articulate, deep-thinking, development-focused individuals.

Despite the disagreements, we all have much to learn from eachother and from our differences.

---

I guess this thread is a reflection of our self-management. It happens messily and spontaneously. It's not like we have another place where we can meet and work out the best strategy, then put on our agreed-upon game face in public.

Well it's all interesting....life is about challenge and I guess we can thank Ami for presenting this particular dilemma, where we need to choose how we are going to deal with a formidable yet strangely elusive problem.

Hmmmm

posted September 09, 2016 08:57 AM            

I'll say that I do feel somewhat bad from derailing her thread like this when it may have actually been just in good fun, but I do feel that maybe she could've avoided this whole ordeal if she chose a better introduction. Instead of saying, "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen," she could've said, "You're free to disagree, but this is my opinion and I stand firm." Of course, judging from her previous statements about political correctness, I'm not sure if that will happen.

Though, this thread isn't the worst. There have been many other instances where this has broke out and it has been pretty bad. What I don't understand is how Ami advocates against bullying by saying that "people with productive lives don't bully others," only to proceed by calling Faith a joke. That's like dissing yourself and saying that your life is unproductive because you "bullied" Faith.

Regardless, Ami has to be the one to decide if she wants to change or not. If she refuses, we may see this again, and if she accepts, then who knows what will happen. Also, know that I'm far from perfect. I highly doubt anyone else wants to be me and go through all the crap I have to swim through in order to get out.

posted September 09, 2016 08:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
Ami

You say that Faith "is a joke"

Then tell her to "move on".

You don't see what's wrong with that?

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Yes, this is what I've tried to point out to you before, Ami. I'm not ganging up on you, I promise.

I haven't seen everything on the thread. I got a bit upset last night, but I'm not upset with anyone, just potential miscommunication.

I have to leave the house, otherwise I'd say a bit more.

posted September 09, 2016 09:01 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by soren:
i do like Ami and she gave me a virtual hug one time and it helped me in some way, she stood alone and gave me it

And her threads are fun, and they are a good contribution. i always just skim past the parts i dont think are accurate like asteroids

im really sorry if i somehow lesseened anyones followers, and maybe if people are not believing her threads as much as before, i still hope she stays here

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This is so sweet, Soren. Thank you!

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posted September 09, 2016 09:03 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:

This is so sweet, Soren. Thank you!

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posted September 09, 2016 09:03 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Electro DGX:
I'll say that I do feel somewhat bad from derailing her thread like this when it may have actually been just in good fun, but I do feel that maybe she could've avoided this whole ordeal if she chose a better introduction.

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I don't consider drama on an Ami thread "derailing."

I believe she aims to create exactly this type of drama.

Why else throw out a bunch of accusations against people, as seen in her OP?

Aries has lost all his friends.
Taurus is fat.
Gemini drove off all her friends.
Cancer is infantile.
Leo is conceited.
Virgo is a priss.
Scorpio...well she let them off easy, maybe because she didn't want to deal with backlash from them.
Sag is shady and uses people.
Cap...see "Scorpio"
Aqua, in her words, is the "Queen of Holier Than Thou. All the sinners have been driven to drink.
Pisces is a druggie.

And this is funny, haha??

No one is allowed to take it differently?

posted September 09, 2016 09:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
I guess this thread is a reflection of our self-management. It happens messily and spontaneously. It's not like we have another place where we can meet and work out the best strategy, then put on our agreed-upon game face in public.

Well it's all interesting....life is about challenge and I guess we can thank Ami for presenting this particular dilemma, where we need to choose how we are going to deal with a formidable yet strangely elusive problem.

Hmmmm

I always love your comments, Voix, and smile whenever I see that you've come to a thread.

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Then we can create a space

SPITR is probably the appropriate forum, and we can entitle the threads something like what I suggested before - making it clear it is an invite from one member to another to try and resolve a difference with the spirit of seeking understanding.

It's warming that you appreciate my posts Faith, thank you for sharing this.

I wonder about our Moon polarity, it is the same that I have with my Pisces Moon partner, yet it often seems more of a harmony than a polarity.

Perhaps Virgo and Pisces are more inclined to take a leaf out of the other's book and seek understanding, instead of pulling out the opposition guns.

posted September 09, 2016 09:07 AM            

Meh, don't get me started talking about how much I love Virgo placements, we'll be here all day....

posted September 09, 2016 09:09 AM            

Besides, others have said things probably in a better way than I could have, at least in a nice, somewhat brief way, like Electro.

posted September 09, 2016 09:14 AM            

Just wanted to clarify that I didn't think this was derailing. I think this train is exactly on the rails that Ami designed. And we have ridden this train before.

@DG - YES, I do that too..."building a case"...

Must be my 3H Pluto. Sorry if...wait, cancel that....sorry that my 3H Pluto can definitely be a little intense sometimes...if anyone is reading my posts and backing away from the screen.

@teasel - thank you

posted September 09, 2016 09:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by CosmiqPhuz:
I don't have a problem with people expressing their opinion. I have a problem with people reacting like a loose cannon and just plain fighting dirty (someone brought up Ami's dead son for example). I wouldn't call much of this thread civil, there's been a steady tone of hostility here just like in your response to me above. Why so touchy? What did I do to you? Jeez. I have a problem with people dragging their drama from one thread into another.

Sure, it was supposed to be a fun thread until everyone got all bent out of shape about the intro sentence (and lots of other things unrelated to the thread). Maybe if people stopped b*tchin and actually contributed to the original intent of the thread, maybe some funny ones would have snuck in.

Ok, so I was defending Ami so you're obviously gonna be hostile towards me. But I'm not against anyone here either. Call it preaching if you want, I just don't want anyone to get a f*cking heart attack or go into depression.

But you know what, I've been trying to have an equal exchange here and listen. You can check my previous responses. But apparently maybe I'm just wasting my time. So I will follow my own advice like you said and walk away. Take care.

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posted September 09, 2016 09:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sulkyarcher:
Aries- He's with a psychologist because he can't stop getting into bar fights when he's drunk.

Taurus- He's with a psychologist because he's in a relationship he doesn't know how to get out of.

Gemini- She's with a psychologist because she can't figure out why she can't keep her attention on one thing.

Cancer- He's with a psychologist because he can't get away from his controlling mother.

Leo- Her mother ignored her.

Virgo- Obssessive compulsive disorder. Can't stop trying to control everything.

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Good job, S!

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posted September 09, 2016 09:20 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sulkyarcher:
Libra- Can't stop people pleasing.
Scorpio- Still has a grudge against that jock in high school that put him in a locker.

Sagittarius- Makes jokes to cover up his insecurities.

Capricorn- Has problems not judging people.
Aquarius- Unconsciously rebels against his parents by rebelling against society.

Pisces- Lacks boundaries. Hasn't learned to say no yet.

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Very clever and a great way to learn by having fun, which is the point of these threads! xoxox

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posted September 09, 2016 09:24 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:

@DG - YES, I do that too..."building a case"...

Must be my 3H Pluto. Sorry if...wait, cancel that....sorry that my 3H Pluto can definitely be a little intense sometimes...if anyone is reading my posts and backing away from the screen.

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Mercury conjunct mars, Virgo, 12th for me.
From what I'm gathering with responses, here, other threads, "real life", everywhere.
It's like my words have perceived "bite". Something like that.
Very fiery, critical, foggy communication.