posted April 15, 2010 11:04 AM         

You take care of yourself too!
I worry about you a lot.

Is there any chance you have a parasite?
These days foolish doctors often fail to look into such things as liver flukes, tapeworm, and many other blood devouring creatures hiding in a person's body.
These things do not always show up on basic tests, and most doctors do not think to check for them, or take a history of whether you visited or ate any food which came from places where parasites are common, even in water or on fresh fruits and vegetables.

posted April 19, 2010 03:45 PM         

How are you feeling today? And as far as your morbid thoughts...SMH. I know it can't be helped, but still...POSITIVE energy.

Laughter is healing. Very. Find something to laugh about. In my spirit, I feel you will be fine

As far as Michael, I noticed the Cancer rising. I think it's a very interesting placement for a male. My experience with Cancer rising males is that they are deeply sensitive and intuitive but they bury that part of themselves because it goes against society's perspective of "masculinity."

So...I'm thinking Michael is probably deeply concerned about you (i.e. his "or else" warning) but also tries to brush off his terrified feelings with jokes and occasional insensitivity.

You two are quite the saga. You've got to live, so you can tell us how the story ends...

::waves to MVM::

posted April 24, 2010 02:16 PM         

fatinkerbell -

Good points all around but I am NOT following a man, and am NOT taking women off him... lol... It's just not my style because I act as if I have pride (I don't really have much pride)

Update: He mentioned looking for a job locally here in South Africa too so I have no idea what his plans are, and due to his enigmatic ways... I am caught between hating and loving him because I am annoyed that he has made me wait this long. The basterd!

posted April 24, 2010 05:10 PM         

I'm NOT going to worry about this! Ugh.

edit: I need to sleep and calm the F down.

posted April 24, 2010 08:50 PM         

I had the most disturbing (disturbing!) dream about someone I know. I was so upset by it and I still sometimes think of it. I almost wrote about it in another section, but then didn't, so I understand where you are in your head right now.

posted April 25, 2010 07:38 AM         

I think I am hurt because he is going back to Korea even after I told him how I felt. And that tells me one thing, he doesn't feel the same way and going back to the other girl.

So... I am just dealing with the sadness in a weird way. I am trying to detach myself from him and let go of him. So, yeah...

This is the end of the saga, I think.

posted April 25, 2010 12:41 PM         

I am just p!ssed that I find myself in this situation. Of course, I don't know the details, but what I know is enough to make me throw in the towel.

I've been feeling like my Moon all day, in bed all day, and wondering around in pjs because I've been feeling sorry for myself (and also resting) but I could rest with jeans on.

Sigh!

I can't believe that I'm in this situation. Having to get over yet another guy. It's hard work. But, it shall be done!

posted April 25, 2010 12:48 PM         

I never ever rest in jeans -- so uncomfortable, lol.

What is your moon? You are doing what you need to do -- what, are you supposed to just repress it? Why do people do that?! Then they wonder why they are so messed up. How are you supposed to get over something if you don't deal with it?

posted April 25, 2010 12:51 PM         

My Moon is at 23 deg Cancer conjunct my MC exact. What degree is this Scorpio full moon?

posted April 25, 2010 12:58 PM         

It sounds positive, but by god, I don't feel it. I'm probably going to transform and expand and all those things from this sad situation.

posted April 25, 2010 01:31 PM         

I'd Do It All Again, by Corrine Bailey Rae

Lyrics:

Ooh, youre searching for something I know, wont make you happy
Ooh, youre thirsting for something I know, wont make you happy
Ooh, you did it all again, you broke another skin
Its hard to believe this time, hard to believe
That my heart, my hearts an open door...
You got all you came for, baby
So weary, someone to love is bigger than your prides worth
Is bigger than the pain you got for it hurts
And out runs all of the sadness
Its terrifying, life, through the darkness
And Id do it all again, Id do it all again
Id do it all again, Id do it all again
You try sometimes but it wont stop
You got my heart and my heads lost, ooh yeah
Ive been burning down these candles for love, for love
So weary, someone to love is bigger than your pride
Ooh, someone to love, mm, someone to love
Someone to love
Ooh, youre searching for something I know, wont make you happy
Ooh

posted April 25, 2010 01:36 PM         

I am changing all my views on relationships since yesterday. I thought it was on my DC, but it's not.

posted April 25, 2010 04:35 PM         

So share, please?

posted April 25, 2010 10:22 PM         

I think it's uranus, because it happened out of the blue, much to my surprise. uranus is also trining my 7th stellium.

posted April 25, 2010 11:57 PM         

So, as I am rehearsing (playing guitar), I have the red light on again on chat, saying "really busy", he starts speaking to me laughing at my status message of "really busy".

He asks what I am doing, and I tell him, then he makes some other talk. Then, I tell him I went back on facebook, and that I know the woman he shagged. He confirms that it is who I thought it was, and as we were speaking I express how much I hate facebook.

He laughs and says "facebook has taken a part of you"

I think he was having fun at the fact that I saw who he was shagging (and she is pretty).

And he says he loves my pic on facebook because it shows that I don't give a F, then he starts communicating via facebook, while we are on IM.

I reply on there, and he is all gregarious, teasing me about caving in by coming back to facebook, and on his wall, he asks "how dirty do you feel right now?" referring to my return to facebook, but it sounded like a double entendre. He then said that he needs to decide where to teach asap, which I didn't notice him typing until later so I didn't respond to that.

Then, the chat was over, after he has had a laugh. He is so insensitive and I told him that he was full of shite. Then he asked whether it isn't everyone that is full of shite, and I told them that this wasn't about everyone else, but about him.

He didn't say much to that. Then he went offline and I was left again wondering , "WTF!!!!!!"

I think he saw that I am reacting jealous because of this girl and he liked it. Also, I think he is trying to make me say that he must teach in South Africa. I don't want to be involved in his important decisions.

I should be seeing him early next month, so we shall get things sorted somehow.

posted April 26, 2010 05:13 PM         

I asked him that we don't meet anymore because I can't handle it. That's that. He is going back to Korea to for the "girl maybe, money and lolz", he said.

I close the chapter.
I am hurting though.

Will say more.
ORBM is comforting me on IM

Later

posted April 26, 2010 06:31 PM         

I vaguely know the story. Haven't followed the thread very closely.

I am really sorry, Unmoved. Thinking of you right now. Sending you some sunshine.

posted April 26, 2010 06:37 PM         

Oh, no... Don't worry. Thank you, though. This is one area of my life I am most honest, but worry about the least. I'm disappointed, yes... but that's where it ends.

I don't know how to say this without sounding 1. in denial, 2. defensive. Fact is though, I don't feel as bad as I thought I would after hearing this. I thought it would feel much, much worse, but if feel less painful than anemia. So, I am not sure what's up. Maybe I took care of it yesterday because yesterday I was already letting go. I feel relief though. Yes, I feel peaceful and relieved.

Go figure!

So, let's not worry, please. There are worse things to worry about in the world than this. I sincerely mean that. This is probably material for another album.

I thank you, though.

posted April 26, 2010 10:30 PM         

Maybe you don't feel as bad as you thought because you finally know! Now you can get over him. For good.

posted April 26, 2010 11:37 PM         

There is no need to be sorry, but thank you. I don't know why but I don't feel that hurt.

I am not quoting him, no. He said that we are friends... that he wanted a deep talk with me before he left... blah blah... but no "I feel the same way" or "me too"... He felt special that I felt that way.

quote:

---

I treasure our friendship even more after you wrote that. Thats why I said I would give you this enormous hug in person and hope to have a most in depth conversation. That was my plan

---

From there, it went South.

I personally am not interested in a hug and deep convo, not anymore, so I declined. I don't see the point really. I think its time to really put him behind me.

I must say, I did enjoy loving him. It was lovely. But, I have to do the right thing now, i.e. detach. I can't do that with deep meetings and hugs. I know myself, and I don't need to make myself go deeper than this.

Then, he mentioned the girl again, and leaving which was another sign. This entire experience might not be the end, but a gambit move towards more drama. Personally, though I won't hold my breath for such. It isn't my style. I deal with things... Cut off completely and move on.

Oh, and he is straight.

posted April 27, 2010 03:49 PM         

The knowing doesn't hurt any more than the not knowing. At least you have something concrete to deal with now.