posted September 22, 2009 11:37 PM         

Oh wow! That just made me put aside 92% of my issue. Yes, he is always saying how hectic it is, and how it is just plain horrible but wow, he has never told me that it could be that bad.

I feel bad now.

*sigh*

Now, I wonder... maybe it is actually a reflection of ease and trust with me that makes him feels that he can be as moody as he wishes with me? I hate to make excuses for bad behavior (if it is that), hence there is only 92% put aside and not 100%. But... if you put it that way... I can work on over-looking the whole thing. Honestly. I am just a "no tolerance for being treated badly" type of girl. So, I struggle with differentiating between things that can be ignored and things that can not be tolerated . I always fear that a person might treat me badly because I allowed it. You know what I mean?

I am almost confused, but I know what I need to do. One more day and I should be over it 100%.

Well, fatinkerbell, I am grateful for your perspective. It does make me more understanding, for sure. Way more understanding than I was. I am surprised though seeing as I can get short with people without even being tired (if it is people close to me), so I should understand that most of it is usually not personal.

This is so hard. This whole situation is a little more than I bargained for.

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so be nice to Michael when in doubt because it can be pretty hard working here ... especially at first. Maybe sometimes when he is a little short with you it's just 'cos he's really really tired. I'm willing to bet my life on that .... seriously!

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I must say that this would be the first time being this understanding, if I manage to do it. I might just learn the art of forgiveness with this guy. This is all so deep. I am literally seeing myself grow here.

posted September 23, 2009 05:45 AM         

Work in Korea is HARD. I was working for the government too, but I taught middle school kids 3 mornings a week, high school kids 2 mornings a week, and every afternoon I taught Korean teachers who taught English. So, 35 hours of teaching every week, from 11 to 65 years old of hugely varying abilities, had to plan my own lessons, was given no teaching material and the nearest place to get it was 3 hours away by train. When you're not teaching you're planning. No internet. I had a 1 week holiday in a whole year, and I was ill all the time. In the winter it was -5 degrees in my classroom because there was no heating. And everybody's mother used to come to my apartment in the evening to ask if I could school their kid for free. Yoikes. I was in tears a lot of the time. I couldn't go out easily either, I taught in a small town and being blonde and blue eyed it was like being famous, everybody knew who you were and until about 6 months in everybody looks the same to you. I think I lost it 11 months in when I got followed through the town by a bunch of kids who wouldn't let me be and I screamed "F*ck OFF!" at them. The look on their faces. Not my best moment but I was having a nervous breakdown! I even taught some of them, I didn't see them in my distress. Ouchie. If Michael is black or mixed race then that will be even more trying. They have heard that black people exist, but they have never seen one.

Plus everybody thinks you're American which is annoying because you're not responsible for the bloody war 40 years ago, you're from Wales and you're only 25. Where is Wales? Nobody ever heard of that place and thinks you're making it up. Korea is Scorpio. Very suspicious.

And in your one week holiday when you want to get the hell out of there and go to Japan they will feel slighted because you didn't spend the whole time in Korea and they will ignore you for a bit when you come back and not pay you on time for a couple of months, make you work Christmas, and "forget" to pick you up for school, and mutter about the Japanese occupation under their breath. The Japanese are Bad People and Always Will Be. End of story. Scorpio sting - I got stung A LOT.

People will go through your basket at the supermarket to see what the foreigner eats, and I believe if they could they would have cut my veins to see if I my blood was red. They ask all sorts of questions that make your hair stand on end, such as how much you earn, who your boyfriend is, and occasionally a rough sort of person will just tell you to go home because you and your fancy English are not required in Korea, thank you very much. They are a very nationalistic nation. I had a cab driver who abducted me once and drove me all around town for a couple of hours and didn't let me out, just to make me uncomfortable and he was laughing. I wasn't scared, just angry. I was late for class but my story wasn't a good enough excuse. That was my one and only truly bad experience. But a good Korean friend found the taxi driver... but that is another story.

posted September 23, 2009 06:19 AM         

Combine that with a climate that goes from -20 degrees in the winter to +40 in the summer and you are never adequately dressed and shopping for clothes is a torment because they want to climb into the changing room to see what the really pale person looks like under her clothing. Jesus!

So be gentle on him! It is a rough deal and the Koreans believe in education so much that they don't beat around the bush and they hardly ever consider that you might be homesick, lovesick and suffering from the most tremendous culture shock of your entire life, plus have to eat pickled heavily chillied cabbage for breakfast, speak in very slow English ALL THE TIME, and you want your Mum. Nobody ever tells you anything useful and you're treated like a 10 year old. Do this, do that. I think I described myself in my journal at the time "An English speaking robot on legs". When I had time to write my journal, which was never. Do all this with a year-long bout of diarrhea (seriously) almost weekly food poisoning due to undercooked pork, cockroaches living in the freezer compartment of your fridge and you will get the general idea.

I never actually saw the benefits of being there until I was away, some years later. Now I wish I had appreciated it better, but it's difficult as I was exhausted the whole time, and ill. You can't even be ill quietly over there, if you phone up sick all the teachers pile over to your place with pizza and sit on your bed and want the lesson to go on regardless. God bless them

NB: If Koreans are out of cherry tomatoes for the pizza topping, they will quite often substitute them with glace cherries, which look the same. True story. Even pizza makes you cry out there.

Perhaps he would like to spill more about what it's like there for him? I know I did! rant rant rant!!

But other than the taxi driver experience, if you're in Korea you are a guest of theirs and they will stand up for you when it counts, as one of their own. You never buy your own dinner. I love them, I love the country.

posted September 23, 2009 01:29 PM         

I'm just being sarcastic, but I know that doesn't carry well online without tone and inflection at all. I don't really mean it.

Ahh, now you all hate me.

Unmoved,

On a serious note, why don't you just ask him? That's what I would do, but I am an aqua with a TON of sag. I am very honest and direct.

posted September 23, 2009 05:31 PM         

So, I asked his mom for his postal address to send the package to him, because I want the package to be a surprise. I am not sure how appropriate any of this is. Frankly, I'll take the heat later. I can't help but think that this is very forward of me, but so be it. It seems more important to cheer him up than to retain my pride. What am I saying, "I have no pride when it comes to these matters of the heart."

It sounds tough there and a surprise package could pick up his spirits. I also asked his mom to suggest anything else I could add to his package.

Yep. This is all so new to me. I wouldn't be surprised if all this explodes in my face because if anyone contacted my mother without my prior permission and knowledge, I would freak out no matter how well intentioned it is. I thought about asking his sister, but she hates me so... the mother was the only option.

This whole thing is making me act out of character, but after reading the accounts of S. Korea, rather this tiny bit of discomfort if it means a little bit of pleasure for him there.

Poor thing!

posted September 23, 2009 07:36 PM         

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Hey Unmoved... Well what you said about Michael being comfortable enough to be himself around you makes a lot of sense! I would really prefer it if a guy was like kinda sometimes a little distant and unattentive rather than being all the time focused on me because he felt he has to walk on eggs... So I think it's a good sign!

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I prefer honesty than obligated manners too. I am similar too. I can't and won't pretend.

posted September 24, 2009 04:56 AM         

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Would it be really inappropriate, and not funny, if I said I told you so about Korea?
I'm just being sarcastic, but I know that doesn't carry well online without tone and inflection at all. I don't really mean it.

Ahh, now you all hate me.

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posted September 25, 2009 09:00 PM         

Do you still have my e mail? If so, please drop me a quick line when you have a second...

HIYA Wheelsie!

posted September 26, 2009 10:50 AM         

quote:

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I must say that this would be the first time being this understanding, if I manage to do it. I might just learn the art of forgiveness with this guy. This is all so deep. I am literally seeing myself grow here.

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quote:

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I'll take the heat later. I can't help but think that this is very forward of me, but so be it. It seems more important to cheer him up than to retain my pride. What am I saying, "I have no pride when it comes to these matters of the heart." It sounds tough there and a surprise package could pick up his spirits.

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I also asked his mom to suggest anything else I could add to his package . . . [that is so thoughtful of you -- brilliant!!]
Yep. This is all so new to me. I wouldn't be surprised if all this explodes in my face because if anyone contacted my mother without my prior permission and knowledge, I would freak out no matter how well intentioned it is.

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posted September 26, 2009 05:16 PM         

After the horror stories of S. Korea, from ours truly, the beautiful and delicious wheelsofcheese and the "tell it like it is" fatinkerbell, I was absolutely horrified that he kept such terrible conditions secret from me. Basically, I told him in an over-protective way that I demand for him to tell me whenever he has a bad day because one should never suffer alone. I was truly and honestly heart-broken about everything that he might have been going through, and I guess it translated through the email because his reaction was strong.

He responded to my concern with such amusement that I became a tad self-conscious, wondering what was funny about the whole thing. Yes, the first words of his response to my shocking discovery of the tough state of Korea was, "HAAHAHAHAHAHAHA". I felt very stupid for being so alarmed. I was embarrassed by my freaking out because honestly, I was half way to S. Korea after hearing the stories!!

He then assured me that his situation is not like that, and that it is actually better than most but he did say that there are definitely bad situations in S. Korea, but he worked at a very well established private academy. So, it safe to say that in Michael's case, he was being b!tchy that day or that I misinterpreted his tone. Either way, I am over that because life is too short. I no longer am mad at him, thank to the lot of you, dear souls!!!

Then we spoke about this and that, about the cruelty to pets in S. Korea, but the general result from my dramatic freak out is that he liked it. He said the following:

"my god that email made me smile"

"Anyways dont feel silly. Your concern is admirable as well. Always good to know."

Okay, that's that for the update.

Zala~

I hope you're right! I hope it doesn't p!ss him off that I schemed to get him a surprise. I haven't heard from his mom still, so I am just holding fast hope. I asked his mom, ever so nicely, not to tell Michael, but again, if it was my mom being asked by some stranger to not tell me something, it would never happen. Yes, my mom and I can not be played against each other except maybe by my sister. So, due to that, I expect her to have to told him already. So, I am half way to confessing, and asking him not to get mad, BUT... I will hold fast for now and not confess. If it does work out, it could be great!

Yes, Zala ... I am not very Unmoved lately. It takes this guy to get me to act like a total nutter! Of course, between you and I, I've always been a nutter, but only potentially. Now, someone has brought it out in full glory. It is somewhat liberating, yet unnerving!

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But this is **you** sweetie, my little Scorpio rising ;-))

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posted September 27, 2009 12:38 PM         

She said she will get me the addy asap!! And added a few things that I could send him. Yay!!

posted September 27, 2009 12:43 PM         

He likes some things that I like too which made me smile. His mom said that this was an excellent idea!!!

posted September 28, 2009 05:54 AM         

I'm a little more than happy to hear this about the green light on the care package and that things are progressing!!!

Enjoy every minute.

8th

posted September 28, 2009 11:38 AM         

I did watch the first season and then it all dwindled from there so I wasn't able to watch the final season of Six Feet Under. So, with that said, I need to go to my video store and hire it because Michael insisted that I watch the thing! Insisted.