posted August 07, 2009 09:03 PM         

Your dream is very revealing. I think the wardrobe symbolizes your relationship. It's real and natural and not showy. It is his first. Even though you have had others that were more "impressive" ie, more showy and had more trappings, his is full of substance, not just form.

Maybe you will have an unorthodox relationship (wardrobe in the middle of the room) and your mom won't approve -- she is in black, everything else in your dream is white -- pure.

posted August 08, 2009 09:04 AM         

You are moving into a "clean slate," or a new beginning right now and your friend is aware of this and of what you need.

The gifts are practical, yet handmade and unique. I don't know what could be more perfect for a Virg/Canc!

The wardrobe most likely represents the subconscious. He gave you the structure, but it is up to you how you arrange it and what you put in it now that you are having a new start.

I think that the clothing you already had represents the past...they were too small and all black. You were upset with the spot that your Mom put the closet because it wasn't where you would want it and she was also wearing black. This seems to me to be you moving on, becoming independant and letting go (hence the black clothing) of some parts of your past. Possibly taking on your own life instead of living with other people's choices who may have control over you (like a parent, boss, etc.)

Maybe, in a spiritual sense, your friend is offering you a glimpse into a possible future. One that would bring a death to some element of your past...get rid of what doesn't fit or what you don't like. Take control and change things to be the way you want them to be. Don't settle for "good enough."

He's offering you the layout...maybe a relationship that is unique to you, but you're going to have to decide what you want on your own/who you are as an individual (the wardrobe) before you can build the relationship (the bed).

He's giving you the tools, but you have to do it yourself.

posted August 08, 2009 09:19 AM         

You were filled with anxiety that you wouldn't be able to assemble the bed properly, although you were happy to receive it. This sounds a lot like what has happened in the past. You cared for him, but either the timing was off, or maybe you gave up because you were unsure of how he felt. This leaves you with a feeling of uncertainty regarding your relationship with him or how to proceed.

Maybe this man and your Mom represent different things to you (I guessed control for the parent...that can happen a lot, even if you have a good relationship). Maybe he represents a kind of freedom. He seems a bit of an adventurer.

He gave you things and your Mom placed them in the room. Yet, you are there alone having to put them together and move them.

Maybe this has something to do with you making your mind up about him. I have had some circumstances where I was SURE that I wanted that other person and I think that puts a certain vibe out there. Then, when I wasn't sure, it seemed like it could go for years back and forth with each wondering what the other wanted and timing being off, etc.

I'm thinking you need to define what you want (even the things that don't involve him)...maybe make a list so it's visual. Also, define who you are...a list of qualities that you have and what you want to have.

Then consider a life with him...maybe backpacking in different countries, etc.

Does that fit the image of what you've listed?

Hope I'm not too far off.

posted August 08, 2009 10:19 AM         

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It's real and natural and not showy. It is his first. Even though you have had others that were more "impressive" ie, more showy and had more trappings, his is full of substance, not just form.

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All true.

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Maybe you will have an unorthodox relationship

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Hit nail on the head. It would be an extremely unorthodox relationship. It already is as just friends.

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your mom won't approve

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I can think of many reasons why she wouldn't approve as well, although I think she is very accepting and open.

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I think you were picking up on his thoughts. I've had dreams of people where they were talking to me, and they've come true.

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I have very prophetic dreams also, but never about love, but about cheating. I always get a dream when they have cheated giving me all the details of where to look etc. So, if this is one of those dreams, I am not sure how to use it, but maybe I am not meant to use DO something but merely understand it.

Thanks Diana.

8th~

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You are moving into a "clean slate," or a new beginning right now and your friend is aware of this and of what you need.

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This stumped me and had me thinking long because I am not sure if I am moving into a new clean slate in my life. Rather it feels like I am still in the murky waters, but I am in a pregnant stage of development where anything can happen. Maybe this dream is letting me know something of which I am not yet aware. This of course is highly interesting because it means I have to go deep into my subconscious and start making this move easier to make.

Also, I am not sure how he could be aware unless he is psychic, or unless he reads my blog and feels an underlying tone which I am not aware of... Well, he has some transits on Neptune that would make him more perceptive than usual. This also makes me want to observe my behavior because maybe I am acting differently than before.

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The gifts are practical, yet handmade and unique. I don't know what could be more perfect for a Virg/Canc!

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I know. Perfect, right?

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He gave you the structure,...

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He has not given me anything in reality unless he is going to give me something that I have to work out for myself, you mean?

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I think that the clothing you already had represents the past...they were too small and all black. You were upset with the spot that your Mom put the closet because it wasn't where you would want it and she was also wearing black. This seems to me to be you moving on, becoming independant and letting go (hence the black clothing) of some parts of your past. Possibly taking on your own life instead of living with other people's choices who may have control over you (like a parent, boss, etc.)

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This makes absolute sense! I can see the clothes meaning that. Again, the moving on theme! Interesting. I wasn't aware that I was moving on away from any of my current sentiments and situation, but maybe I am! I mean... who knows...

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Maybe, in a spiritual sense, your friend is offering you a glimpse into a possible future. One that would bring a death to some element of your past...get rid of what doesn't fit or what you don't like. Take control and change things to be the way you want them to be. Don't settle for "good enough."

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I was thinking about this exact thing! I was thinking that a life with him would be a total 180 from the life I am living now because we are so different and I would probably have to compromise on some things. We are total opposites and I don't know how to marry night and day, which is what we are, in every sense of the word.

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He's offering you the layout...maybe a relationship that is unique to you, but you're going to have to decide what you want on your own/who you are as an individual (the wardrobe) before you can build the relationship (the bed).

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I think this is what I was planning on doing to him. Offer myself and let him decide. It would be funny and tricky if that's is strategy too because it means that we are both expecting the other person to do the compromising.

posted August 08, 2009 10:42 AM         

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You were filled with anxiety that you wouldn't be able to assemble the bed properly, although you were happy to receive it. This sounds a lot like what has happened in the past. You cared for him, but either the timing was off, or maybe you gave up because you were unsure of how he felt. This leaves you with a feeling of uncertainty regarding your relationship with him or how to proceed.

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Absolutely on point!! Even now, I am afraid that after all, this relationship, if given a chance to happen, would turn out like the rest and fail- I think that it has been so hyped by time that going into anything now would add so much pressure that the pressure itself could be the cause of its downfall, whereas it would have worked without it.

I think, if he feels like I feel, we would both be under such pressure.

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Maybe this man and your Mom represent different things to you (I guessed control for the parent...that can happen a lot, even if you have a good relationship). Maybe he represents a kind of freedom. He seems a bit of an adventurer.

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He represents anarchy, not freedom. My mother... well... whenever I think of a mother figure, I think of his mother as well; but I don't know her well enough. I can say though that I was planning on getting married after my mother dies, whenever that will be because there is so much involved traditionally for me if I get married, which would be such a load for someone who is not of my culture, i.e. Michael.

I speak of marriage, and that is thinking too far, but that is how I view this guy, as someone I would marry. He fits my bill. So, yes, my mother does represent some anxiety for me because Michael and I are of different religions and of different cultures, which would just be a total mess to make work if the world got involved. If we eloped though...

I mean, personally there is just no way of reconciling my culture and my religion, so to add him in the mix would mean that I multiply those personal problems because my irreconcilable personal beliefs do not reconcile with his either. I hope that makes sense.

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He gave you things and your Mom placed them in the room. Yet, you are there alone having to put them together and move them.

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Yes, my mother would have to be the one that puts these things together and make them work for me because she's the head matriarch of the entire family. i know I am going in too deep, but these are the issues.

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Maybe this has something to do with you making your mind up about him. I have had some circumstances where I was SURE that I wanted that other person and I think that puts a certain vibe out there. Then, when I wasn't sure, it seemed like it could go for years back and forth with each wondering what the other wanted and timing being off, etc.

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I also believe the same thing. I believe that my uncertainty will create the theme of what is in reality. And when he gets certain, I will probably be sure of him and visa versa. I think that he can feel my uncertainty. I think also that I can feel his.

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Then consider a life with him...maybe backpacking in different countries, etc.

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This doesn't fit in my life, at all! I will visit different countries, but I don't see myself staying in hostels and all that. Not anymore, that is. I am no longer in that stage, so unless he is fine to go off on his own... that would cause a problem too.

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I'm thinking you need to define what you want (even the things that don't involve him)...maybe make a list so it's visual. Also, define who you are...a list of qualities that you have and what you want to have.

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Yes, I have to think really hard now and see if he even fits into my life before anything. It could be one of those cases where love is not enough? I don't know but I need to see how my life would fit him in, if it can fit him in. The problem though lies in the fact that I am not sure where he is in his life other than what I have read on hos facebook which doesn't tell me much.

I know that I am trying to make a lot of changes in my life, so I wonder if these changes are creating space for him or taking space away for him. 8th, you have given me so much to think about that I am almost freaking out because I realize that I have not given a lot of things thought as I was not in a hurry to, since I depended on love solving most problems, but it seldom does, does it?

posted August 11, 2009 09:43 AM         

My battery is low on my laptop and I am on the road so I will tell more in 7 hrs or so.

posted August 11, 2009 08:18 PM         

stopandstare~ Awwww! Thank you. Well, after reading his response we shall see...

Okay, here goes...

It was generic! Yep! He told me stuff but it was a bit personal than usual. I will exhibit (but I won't copy entire email)

Firstly, he is in Korea and it seems as if he has just arrived there. This means, ladies and gentlemen, that Michael was probably still here last month!!! He is there to teach. I have asked him to specify what he'll be teaching, whether it is English, Art or music since he is qualified in all the above.

Then he told me how he got a little depressed before starting work, which is more than he has ever told me about how he feels. I mean, he is always "okay" when I ask how he is and it was different that he said something human.

He said:

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Feel super sh*t that I have left it so long.

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He also mentioned that he is going to a kick-ass concert in Seoul, which is great because Nine Inch Nails is headlining, with Keane and Limp Bizkit as support. We used to love Limp Bizkit as kids, so there was a little nostalgia when I read that. And then he ended the email by saying that he would rather get together for a drink back home and "wax lyrical until the sun comes up. It will be awesome."

I am stumped as to what the heck "wax lyrical" means? Talk? Sing? It probably means to talk, right? (edit: one of a few idioms I didn't know. Now I do. )

Then he bid me Peace, and that was that!

The End!

Of course, I responded to his points and statements, and also asked the following:

1. When he is coming back
2. Time of birth
3. Town of birth

Then I told him that I wanted to do his chart. I was free to ask him because Michael usually humors me and just does things even though he is not into it, just because I asked, even though he doesn't believe in them because he is open-minded about most things.

I have not received a reply of course. I also filled him in on what he has missed in my life, but I absolutely made it clear that he didn't tell me that he was leaving.

posted August 12, 2009 10:36 AM         

This made me feel funny when I read it, funny in a good way...

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You make me laugh and I love it.

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*sigh*

posted August 12, 2009 01:43 PM         

Anyway, I'm so glad you two talked, and March really isn't that bad! It's this March, right? You should see if he gets some kind of leave and meet up somewhere better than Korea, lol, I heard it's a dump. No offense Korean people.

Did you tell him not to marry anyone?

posted August 14, 2009 12:21 PM         

You make waxing sound like naughty. I just thought of Mr Miyagi in Karate Kid (movie), as in, "Wax on, wax off..."

posted August 16, 2009 04:55 AM         

After I updated him on what had been going on with me, he suggested that we should chat via IM, which took me aback, but which I welcomed gladly. So, I told him my availability and am now waiting to hear from him.

posted August 17, 2009 06:29 AM         

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You should see if he gets some kind of leave and meet up somewhere better than Korea, lol, I heard it's a dump.

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Yeah, what a dump.

posted August 17, 2009 06:33 AM         

Makes me a bit mad when people make such sweeping statements about what they don't know.

posted August 17, 2009 07:03 AM         

Actually, I was looking at his pics that he took on his travels there and the places are so stunning and green... he even exclaimed on how 'green' it is, which I liked because green is life to him, and I agreed.

Commenting here, wheels, reminded me that Diana had asked me a question.

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Did you tell him not to marry anyone?

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God, No!! I wouldn't be able to, unless maybe it was part of the topic of discussion at the time. But, out of nowhere... never!

Anyway, he hasn't supplied me with his birth data, STILL... goodness! He likes to take his sweet time. I think it is that Saturn in Scorpio of his, maintaining control... tsk tsk tsk.

As for seeing him during his leave, I am not sure he gets anymore since he was just on holiday a month go during which he traveled with his colleagues through Korea.

posted August 17, 2009 08:30 AM         

Wohoooooo, you sound much ...'lighter' in spirit. I am really glad he got around to replying and it sounds kinda nice.

Wheels, i hear ya! People do it about India all the time and it cheeses me off too. Being abroad my whole life, it isn't that i'm patriotic, but i do dislike people dissing places (any) they haven't personally been to.

posted August 17, 2009 08:43 AM         

I hope you've been well.

Yes, I am sounding much, much better. Yes, the longing is still there but I guess the communication we had did help. Even if 8 months is a long while, it is perfect timing considering my circumstances as there are so many things I would like to sort out before introducing him in my life.

Besides, if I still feel the same in 8 months, this would be quite telling for me.

posted August 17, 2009 01:31 PM         

Yes, i've been good, thank you for asking. Have just had a lot on my plate, expected to last until next week, so haven't been able to post much.

I agree with what you said, how you feel until then will be telling for you and its best you use the time to put things in place - be it for him or anyone else to come in.

I'm glad he did respond, you sound better for it.

posted August 17, 2009 05:01 PM         

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Sorry man, just defending my beloved Korea.
Makes me a bit mad when people make such sweeping statements about what they don't know.

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Just saying what someone who lived there told me. Those were their exact words. *shrugs*

Unmoved:

I'm glad you two talked! I knew he'd make you wait for his birth info.