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Author
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Topic: Sl*t Shaming
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Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3247
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 31, 2013 10:10 PM
  
OMG That's soooooooooo cute! I didn't know you had a hamster  Just looking at him - could make you feel a dozen times better haha IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 10247
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 31, 2013 10:12 PM
I'd like to add my thoughts on this, but i'm getting the vibe that it's one of those "This is right and i'm armed with tons of info to back it up." So like beware if you come in and say anything to try and screw it up - i dare you!  There's this pit bull defending it's home vibe in here regarding defending the topic..  (i was reading it's begiinnings in the other thread)If people are really open to others opinions and discussing and leaving them at that, then okay. btw i'm not a conservative and have had great uninhibited sex in my lifetime. i am not religious and was not brought up in religion or extreme views on anything.......still, i'm not a huge fan of this cute new trend. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8216
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 31, 2013 10:12 PM
He would go to **** walks if they would let him run around in his ball.  IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3247
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 31, 2013 10:15 PM
quote:
There's this pit bull defending it's home vibe in here regarding defending the topic..
bahahahahahahaha Naw Naw... It's cool. You can post whatever you like. I won't go pit bull on you. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3247
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 31, 2013 10:17 PM
quote:
He would go to **** walks if they would let him run around in his ball.
LMAO You should so take him. Make a little costume for him haha IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8216
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 31, 2013 10:22 PM
Haha IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 8075
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted December 31, 2013 10:25 PM
Like I can understand.. But I'm so over it next time someone calls you a **** take it as a compliment. If your called gay your basically fun and attractive lolIP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 1674
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted January 01, 2014 12:54 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Like I can understand.. But I'm so over it next time someone calls you a **** take it as a compliment. If your called gay your basically fun and attractive lol
IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 3535
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 01, 2014 02:54 AM
quote:
Originally posted by 12muddy:
From what I've observed, there is a bit of a thing called "prude shamming". I feel that it's the exact opposite of **** -shamming, like two sides of the same coin. Both are shaming the person for making their sexual choices.
I'd love to hear examples of this if it's done by women to women. I've experienced it but only in isolated cases...extremely rare unless I were to count the guys who tried this tactic on me (it especially amuses me when they assume I "think like a guy" so try to make me feel like a coward in not being daringly promiscuous as if I was compelled to show I'm not a "chicken" as they would be if someone challenged them that way, that is unless a gay man were to try the same tactic on them), but even then my experiences and observations showed me it's very rare compared to **** shaming. However, I've seen indications that it may be much more common in certain circles and I'd like to hear of it. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 3535
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 01, 2014 03:08 AM
Btw, anyone a fan of Sex and the City? I watched a few eps out of curiosity and was surprised how vanilla it was. Sure, the female cast spoke like walking Cosmopolitan magazines (which means they weren't prudes) but ultimately there were very firm limits in the few eps I saw. If they were encouraged to "stray too far" then the show featured it in a negative light or at least had it ultimately rejected as if "that's taking it too far." (One especially promiscuous character seemed to be played up for laughs, too, which is a subtle barb against it.)Similarly it's common for female villains to be much more sexual and/or sexualized. I even read in a book on how to do comic art that the evil women were supposed to have even bigger boobs and show more skin. Just to be clear I'll emphasize that it's not **** shaming exactly as some sex (and sexualization) is lauded, but "within limits." For example, the differences between Buffy and Faith in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or Lilah and [Wini-]Fred in Angel. (Please, no one get silly and think those "without limits" were into bestiality or some such...though Buffy did have lots of sex with the undead, unlike Faith...) Oh yes, I recall how upset many were when "Buffy went gay." This is a long story, so summed up plenty of people were fine with Buffy having sex with the undead behind people's backs and lying about it including in alleyways during work breaks or right there in the Bronze as she watched her unsuspecting friends and that was fine, but not having a one night stand with a woman (in the comic, aka "Season 8"). And interesting enough it was okay for Willow to be gay because she was the sidekick, but not the heroine. I may mention similar (and even more extreme) examples later. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3016
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted January 01, 2014 04:11 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
What world? The world of conservative religious people?That's not my world. Also a serious question: Do you think things are also "very different" in Denmark for example.. or other Scandinavian countries?
Are you referring to particular countries/places in the world?
How convenient, so uhm,when a chubby 25 yr old girl does her level best to give me hook up info and I blow it off, after she's been kissing tons of men at a bar Or a 47 yr old says "me" "I" whatver 40 times in 20 minutes..that should be very attractive If it all about..what again? IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3247
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 01, 2014 06:37 AM
This wasn't about you personally..
Some people even go to places where they have group sex - or they become swingers.
Obviously they wouldn't have a problem with their SO kissing other people.Others are involved in the porn industry. There were two characters in Love Actually who met during the filming of a porn (which was pretty hilarious.. if you've seen it.. it's a comedy). http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xj0anv_joanna-page-love-actually-comedy-film-sex-scene_redband That's just a movie.. but I'm sure there are people who actually met that way.. so I guess they wouldn't have such a problem with it either. quote:
when a chubby 25 yr old girl does her level best to give me hook up info and I blow it off, after she's been kissing tons of men at a bar
As long as you don't judge her behaviour as sl*ty or instruct her to behave otherwise and make the moral call that her behaviour is "wrong" -- then technically you wouldn't be sl*t shaming. There are others who would have no problem with the amount of guys she kissed beforehand. This situation is pretty farfetched anyway because I doubt it's a common thing to see a woman in a regular bar going around kissing every man there.. unless it was a bet.. Personally.. if I saw a guy in a bar kissing every single girl there.. I would imagine it was a bet. If the guy asked for my number I wouldn't reject him for this reason. I could care less. It's just kissing. I don't go to bars. In Australia it's a thing to go to pubs..
But I don't go to pubs much either. I also reject everyone who is a perfect stranger and asks me for my number for my own reasons (in any context). But I wouldn't be rejecting him because he kissed other girls. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3247
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 01, 2014 06:48 AM
Basically it boils down to this: quote:
Sl*t -shaming enforces a sexual double standard in which boys can engage in sexual behavior freely, whereas girls can only do it when it's part of transaction that includes "true" love or marriage
quote:
I am not saying girls should be "like boys" (whatever that means) or that I think rampant promiscuity is a good thing for teenage boys or girls. I'm saying there should be the same standard of behavior for both.
... From the article above. Padre - if your personal standards for men and women are the same - then your attitude is not discriminatory.
However if you believe it is ok for a man to freely go around kissing every girl in the world... while it is not ok for a woman to go around kissing multiple men at that bar.. then you have double standards - and that's discriminatory and sl*t shaming. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 50876
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 01, 2014 08:09 AM
I never heard about this topic, Odette.AG--you take care of yourself, Sweet One  ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 50876
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 01, 2014 08:09 AM
The Prince Charles pic is funny. He does not want to look at the obvious places  ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 1674
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted January 01, 2014 11:00 AM
We have sl*t walks in my city, but I've never had the time or inclination to participate in one (I probably would, and I support them, but...life happens and stuff).I don't think that type of thing happens as much in places like where I live (certainly not nearly as much as in other areas). I mean, Dan Savage lives here, ya know? So I don't worry myself too much about it. I'm glad that I don't live in a place where the majority of the population thinks that way.
*shrug* IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 8075
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted January 01, 2014 12:23 PM
Lol yes I've also attended one. It's quite the event. I don't really remember though IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 50876
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 01, 2014 12:38 PM
If you really want to get slammed, be a Born Again Christian among most New Age people ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 1674
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted January 01, 2014 01:32 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
If you really want to get slammed, be a Born Again Christian among most New Age people
Just for the record...I personally don't have any problem with your religious beliefs, because you've never crossed a line with pushing them on me. I like and respect some things about almost all religions, including Christianity. Anyway, about sl*t shaming...I don't notice it where I live, so yay. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3016
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted January 01, 2014 01:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
^^ That was not what Padre meant...In Padre's world.. women "make love" and men "f*ck" And in Padre's world... this is something similar to a biological fact of nature - as opposed to a bs social construct.
Nope, the reason **** shamming exists is not some sort or repressive impulse it is to spare the female from going to far. Men do not care particularly to much IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 50876
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 01, 2014 01:46 PM
Most LL people are awesome
------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3016
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted January 01, 2014 01:51 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Basically it boils down to this: ... From the article above. Padre - if your personal standards for men and women are the same - then your attitude is not discriminatory.
However if you believe it is ok for a man to freely go around kissing every girl in the world... while it is not ok for a woman to go around kissing multiple men at that bar.. then you have double standards - and that's discriminatory and sl*t shaming.
They are Odette, my standards are what goes on behind closed doors is people's own business. A hyper sexualized woman however, will do more then kiss everyone IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3016
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted January 01, 2014 01:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
We have sl*t walks in my city, but I've never had the time or inclination to participate in one (I probably would, and I support them, but...life happens and stuff).I don't think that type of thing happens as much in places like where I live (certainly not nearly as much as in other areas). I mean, Dan Savage lives here, ya know? So I don't worry myself too much about it. I'm glad that I don't live in a place where the majority of the population thinks that way.
*shrug*
In my town we have topless walks, literally, hang out uptown at the right time and there she goes Now personally, I do not use the term **** , I feel that what people do is their own biz, however I also know where it leads and I'd spare people that sort of pain IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 1674
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted January 01, 2014 01:59 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
In my town we have topless walks, literally, hang out uptown at the right time and there she goesNow personally, I do not use the term **** , I feel that what people do is their own biz, however I also know where it leads and I'd spare people that sort of pain
I'm not sure I'm getting what you're saying. Where do you reckon "it" leads (by "it" do you mean dressing provocatively?), and what sort of pain do you think people should be spared? I'm not trying to be antagonistic, just...um...trying to understand a bit better what you're trying to communicate. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3016
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted January 01, 2014 02:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
I'm not sure I'm getting what you're saying. Where do you reckon "it" leads (by "it" do you mean dressing provocatively?), and what sort of pain do you think people should be spared?I'm not trying to be antagonistic, just...um...trying to understand a bit better what you're trying to communicate.
What happens when all sort of barriers are removed, women get tossed to the side as soon as their sexual value is seen as dropping. From a male pov that really is not our problem so I "should" be cheerleading this pov, however since I'm not a Dbag this makes no sense to me IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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