posted January 02, 2014 09:28 AM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
I do believe that is known as solipsism Odette.

This is one of the things that women do that I find hillarious

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posted January 02, 2014 10:08 AM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I'd love to hear examples of this if it's done by women to women.

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Hmm, I'll try to describe the best I can.

These are just observations, so I apologize before hand if it offends anyone. That's not my intention.

I'm 23 and a lot of my acquaintances are women who were around my age, or younger/older than me by a few years.

From what I've seen, it seems that there is a "silent" competition of who's the "kinkiest" and "most adventurous". Terms like "virgin", "vanilla", "tame"...etc.. are thrown around with smirks n eye-rolls. The "prudes" are seen as insecure, or that there is something wrong with them. In a few cases, they are seen as stuck up, or jealous.

On many occasions I've heard some women putting down others for not enjoying giving oral sex and/or receiving anal sex. One time a woman who just broke up with her partner was told that it was "her fault" for being a prude n didn't want to have a threesome and that no one would want a conservative person.

And there are more. From small things like girls calling other girls "uptight" or "dried up" for not going with some guys at clubs/not drinking alcohol/not having casual sex, to things like saying that relationships will fail due to lack of sexual adventures...etc...

On one rare occasion a mother told her daughter that she shouldn't dress like a nun if she wants to get a boyfriend. I've heard many girls and women telling each other this, but from mother to daughter, that was the 1st time.

Note: I have Asian acquaintances who were born here, and they seem to be more aggressive to prove that they are sexually liberal - I'm kinda inclined to think that they do so to "fit in". A "prude" is seen as an embarrassment for the whole group.

Yeah, shamming occurs frequently in these groups.

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With the young girls/women (my age or younger), it's partly because of their ideas of "sexual freedom". To them, "sexual freedom" = having lots of sex = good. So people who's not having lots of sex = sexual inhibited = bad.

It's like a strange phenomenon where sex-positivism is used to make people who don’t have or want to have sex feel lesser.

Overall, I'd say that in my experience it is not as rampant as **** shaming and it's not as "bad". Most of the time it's quite subtle. But it'll interesting to see how far it will go.

posted January 02, 2014 10:11 AM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
12muddy - Well ... there are prudes and there are prudes.

If a person makes a choice to never have sex in their entire life because they believe this is best for them on a spiritual level.. then some might call them prudes - but that is their choice and they are entitled to it.
Of course they shouldn't be shamed.

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posted January 02, 2014 10:14 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
True. This goes both ways though and it's all a matter of individual opinion. I was called gay because I rejected a girls sexual advances once. It's just that people get mad when they don't get their way.

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posted January 02, 2014 11:40 AM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
You, too, with the sexism now.

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posted January 02, 2014 12:05 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Faith:
[b] This is all in your mind. At least you admit you aren't psychic, so you don't know they are thinking. Unless you follow them around eavesdropping as they remark to their friends about their experience with you. Which would be creepy.

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Yep, thems the rules so to speak AG, an I see this stuff, fall on the side of ledger that allows me to do that sort of stuff but never do it.

Or better said, feel really bad when I do such things, they tend not to mind when I do..but just..eck

As an example had a lot of uhm "fun" new years eve, the bar mgr cut me off, no worries, simply struck up some conversations with women and they handed me their drinks

I took it as a challenge, things worked out well but still, if I were not "me" I'm not sure what I'd have done, in that sense it is hard to put myself into other men's shoes.

I'm seeing Violet talking there and have to agree, it's almost as if the women who do not participate in that crap are seen as defective..and to me that is a pity

posted January 02, 2014 12:40 PM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
It's the heart of the matter tho Faith, I've seen enough of "oh he is not a dirtbag drunk guy who abuses women, he's edgy and mysterious!" to know of what I speak on that one

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posted January 02, 2014 01:07 PM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:

I'm seeing Violet talking there and have to agree, it's almost as if the women who do not participate in that crap are seen as defective..and to me that is a pity

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I think you might have confused my posts with Muddy's. That's okay, though. I can see that point of view as well, as in my younger years I certainly did view women who were not sexual (or overtly so) as somehow repressed or defective. Obviously my views have changed with some maturity, but that is the truth of it.

Look, there really are two sides here, for better or worse.
Unfortunately, I believe that AG and Padre *mean* well, but I think that they're somewhat hampered by the areas they live in and the experiences they've had. That's how it appears to me, anyway. No offense intended to anyone.

People can choose their belief systems, as YTA has, and that's somewhat different. When you're born into a certain area or culture and don't leave it for a long time, you're kind of bound to think that everywhere is the same as where you're at.

posted January 02, 2014 01:26 PM            

It's like people who prefer not to wear light blue shirts. Who gives a f*ck?

Sometimes people can indeed be shallow, and they don't want to strike up a conversation with people they don't find attractive. Sometimes they just want to be left alone, period. It's not always about us.

posted January 02, 2014 01:32 PM            

but usually women find me none threatening so they don't mind if I invade their space most of the time because at parties I'm often bored and like chatting with people that catch my interest.
but I don't give of the ARRRGH IM A MALE WITH A PENIS I CAN RAPE YOU IF I WANTED TO VIBE...that men often give off.
:P
I'm not being sexiest but i think women can tell when I guy wants to **** them the moment they meet them... ehh it's not hard to tell I guess. I can do the same thing.. you can see it in their eyes LOL.
Either they are interested in you too or they are not.

posted January 02, 2014 03:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Yep, thems the rules so to speak AG, an I see this stuff, fall on the side of ledger that allows me to do that sort of stuff but never do it.

Or better said, feel really bad when I do such things, they tend not to mind when I do..but just..eck

As an example had a lot of uhm "fun" new years eve, the bar mgr cut me off, no worries, simply struck up some conversations with women and they handed me their drinks

I took it as a challenge, things worked out well but still, if I were not "me" I'm not sure what I'd have done, in that sense it is hard to put myself into other men's shoes.

I'm seeing Violet talking there and have to agree, it's almost as if the women who do not participate in that crap are seen as defective..and to me that is a pity

Respect is a two way street

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posted January 02, 2014 03:53 PM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
I already explained the thought process to you - and you will not find any more explanations than the ones I gave you - since a majority of women on LL don't relate to your experiences.

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posted January 02, 2014 04:06 PM            

So I did explain the motivations of those who behave this way. I'll try to find the thread for you.

posted January 02, 2014 04:08 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

Yep. That video you posted awhile back about the women at the bar illustrated the whole dynamic perfectly. I know I may be hard on women but I'm seriously trying to understand their thought process in these things. It has become very obvious to me that they aren't even aware of these things. It's as if their mind goes into a sort of auto pilot when a guy enters into the equation.

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What do you mean by "these things", and what sort of auto pilot do you suppose women's minds go into when a "guy enters into the equation"?

posted January 02, 2014 04:13 PM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
Yes I am aware actually - and on a thread, some time ago - I listed 3 or 4 "types" of women (by which I mean something akin to psychological "types" based on patterns of behaviour) --who would behave in this manner. One was the "motherly" type looking for an adult to mother and heal. That's a very common one.

So I did explain the motivations of those who behave this way. I'll try to find the thread for you.

You said you are trying to understand the thought process.. And I did explain the thought process to you, for all the "types" I identified.

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posted January 02, 2014 04:21 PM            

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Originally posted by Violets:
What do you mean by "these things", and what sort of auto pilot do you suppose women's minds go into when a "guy enters into the equation"?

Don't you think that you *might* be making a blanket statement about women here, when as you say, you are trying to understand their thought process? If you're still trying to understand it, then I think that you should continue to do so by listening to what women have to say .

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posted January 02, 2014 04:25 PM            

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Originally posted by Violets:
Hm. Sorry, I am new to this forum, and this is clearly some sort of ongoing thing here.

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There are a ton of them

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted January 02, 2014 04:27 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

Based off of what I have seen it's all I can figure. What I meant by the "mind going into auto pilot" is how women apparently lose all discretion and common sense when a man they find attractive enters into the picture. It's like all their "supposed" psychic and intuitive powers disappear.

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Where are you seeing this, and what do you consider "losing all discretion and common sense"?

AG, I mean this with kindness...but how often do you leave the area you live in and spend time in places that aren't similar culturally?
If you live in Tennessee, for example, how often do you go into the cities there, or travel to places like...well, I suppose there aren't many cities to travel to from Tennessee, really. Have you ever?

posted January 02, 2014 04:30 PM            

It is quite odious.

Fat ugly bald man walks into a bar. Flashes cash. Leaves with several attractive women soon after.

Sometimes, an "attractive" man isn't the one with the washboard six pack abs.

And AQ91, don't think it's only young single guys who face issues with declining propositions. I'm a married old f4rt and I still get indecent proposals. Fortunately, it's easy for me to decline nonsense given I am so jaded, and what I have at home.

posted January 02, 2014 04:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
Where are you seeing this, and what do you consider "losing all discretion and common sense"?

AG, I mean this with kindness...but how often do you leave the area you live in and spend time in places that aren't similar culturally?
If you live in Tennessee, for example, how often do you go into the cities there, or travel to places like...well, I suppose there aren't many cities to travel to from Tennessee, really. Have you ever?

I don't mean to sound condescending at all. I'm just wondering.

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