posted January 02, 2014 06:43 PM            

I mean, if we are comparing anecdotes here then let me just say right off the bat that I have YET to encounter a successful woman in my social circle who suffers from a case of "bad boy lusting" syndrome. They might have had one or two bad encounters, but after that, you can sure bet that they don't open themselves to experiencing that situation again.

And while we are talking observations, from my perspective, men who go on and on and on about the unfair aspect of the dating world and have unreasonable (yes your arguments are unreasonable) critical perspectives are usually of two types:

a) Bitter rejects who are trying to find a girl to be with them for all the wrong reasons, and looking in all the wrong social circles to find one.

b) Those who seem to not get the idea that there are women out there who aren't just that into you. And blaming Super Studs for this case scenario will not help your chances in landing that (ironically) sweet blonde at the bar.

posted January 02, 2014 06:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Oh I see why you mentioned "honesty"... because I told him he was lying earlier.

Well Padre is generally honest.. I don't think he is dishonest in his beliefs or opinions or the things he generally expresses on here.

However - he is not honest when it comes to *himself*..
He says things about himself that seem very untrue... like saying he was lighthearted and amused.. in his last post.

Clearly - he is not amused, considering the tone of his posts on this topic.
If you compare his tone to Kerosene's tone (who *actually* is amused)... you can tell there is a difference.

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Eh, I suspect one is projecting Odette.

"I think this of him, so it must be true"

Not at all, in fact, I draw a great level of amusement from all of this.

To be clear, your OP is reasons why women should be ***** and there is no shame in it?

posted January 02, 2014 06:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
I've been called worse...

Just as an example, took my niece (whom I adore) her mom (my Brothers baby mama) and my mom out to dinner..we had a great time

The Baby Momma is now trying her level best to hook up with me.

That is something men do not do..period

For her, it's fine, her relationship with my brother was a "short time thing, it doesn't matter"

Uhm, yeah, men and women are completely the same..uh-huh, righto

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posted January 02, 2014 06:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b] I've been called worse...

Just as an example, took my niece (whom I adore) her mom (my Brothers baby mama) and my mom out to dinner..we had a great time

The Baby Momma is now trying her level best to hook up with me.

That is something men do not do..period

For her, it's fine, her relationship with my brother was a "short time thing, it doesn't matter"

Uhm, yeah, men and women are completely the same..uh-huh, righto

---

See AG, that is something I would not have done, granted one thought she was into you when in fact she was merely playing the field.

That is how things go, especially when romance/sex/relationships are involved.

To me the mistake men make is they want to exclusive waaaay to fast, mainly b/c they really do not have many options. That skews everything.

One may think the whole bit with the baby mother and all that has me shocked..not really..I have a pretty good idea about how that all works.

In fact, where she is concerned I find it very amusing and would never say a word about it to my brother.

She's human afterall is the way I see it

posted January 02, 2014 07:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
See AG, that is something I would not have done, granted one thought she was into you when in fact she was merely playing the field.

That is how things go, especially when romance/sex/relationships are involved.

To me the mistake men make is they want to exclusive waaaay to fast, mainly b/c they really do not have many options. That skews everything.

One may think the whole bit with the baby mother and all that has me shocked..not really..I have a pretty good idea about how that all works.

In fact, where she is concerned I find it very amusing and would never say a word about it to my brother.

She's human afterall is the way I see it

Men are raised on this sort of diet of Disney films and rainbows when it comes to relationships..and I'm here to tell ya..it's not true.

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posted January 02, 2014 07:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b] See AG, that is something I would not have done, granted one thought she was into you when in fact she was merely playing the field.

That is how things go, especially when romance/sex/relationships are involved.

To me the mistake men make is they want to exclusive waaaay to fast, mainly b/c they really do not have many options. That skews everything.

One may think the whole bit with the baby mother and all that has me shocked..not really..I have a pretty good idea about how that all works.

In fact, where she is concerned I find it very amusing and would never say a word about it to my brother.

She's human afterall is the way I see it

Men are raised on this sort of diet of Disney films and rainbows when it comes to relationships..and I'm here to tell ya..it's not true.

---

Here is the difference AG, your friend/dating interest was completely free to play the field, as were you.

If your friend turned down her advances that is on him, there was no "bro code" violation b/c you both, actually all 3, had no attachements, just desire in varying degrees.

Situation I bring up is different b/c there is both family and children involved and it would be wildly inappropriate.

posted January 02, 2014 07:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Here is the difference AG, your friend/dating interest was completely free to play the field, as were you.

If your friend turned down her advances that is on him, there was no "bro code" violation b/c you both, actually all 3, had no attachements, just desire in varying degrees.

Situation I bring up is different b/c there is both family and children involved and it would be wildly inappropriate.

At least from my pov, from hers, it's fine, that is the difference, at least one of them, between men and women.

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posted January 02, 2014 07:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b] Here is the difference AG, your friend/dating interest was completely free to play the field, as were you.

If your friend turned down her advances that is on him, there was no "bro code" violation b/c you both, actually all 3, had no attachements, just desire in varying degrees.

Situation I bring up is different b/c there is both family and children involved and it would be wildly inappropriate.

At least from my pov, from hers, it's fine, that is the difference, at least one of them, between men and women.

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Not among mine, it's more a "you can do it, or you can't" sort of thing, you have to make your own way.

Basically, if whatever one is doing is not enough to retain her interest, that is on "you".

Odette thinks that is competitiveness, perhaps it is, however, in life there are no crutches, one sinks or swims on your own.

That goes for women as well, only it is rare that a women will actually tell you that one.

posted January 02, 2014 07:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Not among mine, it's more a "you can do it, or you can't" sort of thing, you have to make your own way.

Basically, if whatever one is doing is not enough to retain her interest, that is on "you".

Odette thinks that is competitiveness, perhaps it is, however, in life there are no crutches, one sinks or swims on your own.

That goes for women as well, only it is rare that a women will actually tell you that one.

Tho tbh, that is usually b/c few men have the cajones to ask..I don't have that problem

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posted January 02, 2014 07:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
We can agree to disagree. I guess I have more of a moral compass than some people .

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posted January 02, 2014 08:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
I've been called worse...

The Baby Momma is now trying her level best to hook up with me.

That is something men do not do..period

Uhm, yeah, men and women are completely the same..uh-huh, righto

---

Are you saying that you believe that only women conduct themselves in the way that you're describing with your niece's mother, and that men do not?

Do you believe that all (or most) women are willing to participate in that type of behavior?

I want to make sure I'm understanding what you're saying here.

For the record: I have personally encountered almost exactly the same scenario (except that I was the one being hit on), but with a guy who was like my significant other's brother (very, very good friends). He was an attractive guy. I was, however, disgusted by his skeezy behavior, and distanced myself with a quickness. I was only 19 at that time, and yet I somehow had ethical standards (and yes, this is where my personal concept of "ethical" comes into play here). That actually happened with two of that particular s/o's close friends, and my response was basically WTF, get out of here.

posted January 02, 2014 08:36 PM            

Which is not particularly surprising, I'm far from "angry/frustrated/competitive".

Do I think EVERY woman does such things?

Nope

Do I think and have seen a fair amount of women do such things?

Yep

posted January 02, 2014 08:39 PM            

Come visit me for a week. We'll dress you up in a bad guy outfit and we'll hit the bars and see your success rate In NYC, you'll be picked up by the guys in that bad guy outfit and not by the women

posted January 02, 2014 08:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:

From what I'm seeing Violets, it is a mix of anecdotes and projection.

Which is not particularly surprising, I'm far from "angry/frustrated/competitive".

Do I think EVERY woman does such things?

Nope

Do I think and have seen a fair amount of women do such things?

Yep

At least at one time or another, not ALL the time mind you, more women and men are quite capable of such duplicity

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I would suggest that you examine the people you're around, as Xodian has mentioned. I do not spend my time around people who act that way, and I've seen it equally in men as well as women. When it happens, I cut ties without much thought. End of story.

Now...if someone were in a polyamorous relationship, that would be different. That is obviously not what I'm referring to here.

posted January 02, 2014 08:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
AQ91,

Come visit me for a week. We'll dress you up in a bad guy outfit and we'll hit the bars and see your success rate In NYC, you'll be picked up by the guys in that bad guy outfit and not by the women

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posted January 02, 2014 08:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
I would suggest that you examine the people you're around, as Xodian has mentioned. I do not spend my time around people who act that way, and I've seen it equally in men as well as women. When it happens, I cut ties without much thought. End of story.

Now...if someone were in a polyamorous relationship, that would be different. That is obviously not what I'm referring to here.

That's not my thing, but if other people want to hang that way I don't have an issue with it.

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And here is where we differ Violets, to cut ties is to then judge instead of observe.

posted January 02, 2014 08:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
That did give me a chuckle. Thanks for that.
Although I don't think that AG exactly fits the Rain Man stereotype, but still quite funny.

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posted January 02, 2014 08:55 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
And here is where we differ Violets, to cut ties is to then judge instead of observe.

This is why I speak, may not judge as for me to judge stuff like passion, desire, lust, etc is to make oneself a fool.

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Passion and lust is one thing. Acting out in a way that is betraying someone who trusts you is entirely different. I would not judge someone if they were attracted to me. Will I judge their actions if they betray the trust of someone close to them? You bet.

That is behavior that is hurtful to others, and that is a category in my world that falls under "unacceptable".

posted January 02, 2014 08:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
From what I've seen, it seems that there is a "silent" competition of who's the "kinkiest" and "most adventurous". Terms like "virgin", "vanilla", "tame"...etc.. are thrown around with smirks n eye-rolls. The "prudes" are seen as insecure, or that there is something wrong with them. In a few cases, they are seen as stuck up, or jealous

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Thanks! Were these members of a certain clique?

I had a Catholic friend who tried converting me to Catholicism. The weird thing was that she was an extreme sexual freak and had even been doing bisexual S&M in her private Catholic school (boys dorms real close) since she was 13 and been messing around sexually before even that. She'd make some of the characters in Sex and the City blush. She made it sound very common in her school which was also where she heard many of the most erotic Christian jokes (typically priest or nun involved but also generic). I told her there was no way I could become Catholic because of the Vatican (among other things) and she told me that didn't matter, "true Catholics are jaded" and that the "devout Catholics" were either new converts who hadn't figured it out yet or...well let's just say she had a very negative view of the devout and also the chaste, even priests and nuns (which she assumed most were either gay--complete with gay sex in secret--or deeply repressed sexually as in they should've gone into therapy rather than the clergy).

I'm also curious about those who read Cosmo which is an incredibly popular magazine. I only have one friend who reads it regularly and she swears people read it for the same reason people used to watch Jerry Springer, just to feel better about themselves by looking at how freaky, obsessed, and messed up it at least implied others were. I do believe her when she says that's her reason for it but I expect a great many read it for very honest reasons in that they're obsessed with sex and new ways of hooking up and doing it. One reason I tolerated a guy sexually harassing me for so long in an office once was because there was a Cosmo magazine with pornographic text on the cover and a woman on the cover looking like she was eager to orgasm so I thought if this is what office women are like (and Cosmo does seemed aimed at that demographic) then this guy was acting appropriately (and when I finally made it clear I wanted him to stop his sister who worked there tried to shame me for hurting his feelings by politely telling him to stop his crude advances and she threw me out of the office).

posted January 02, 2014 09:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I do. So, the Rain Man is me!!

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posted January 02, 2014 09:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
Passion and lust is one thing. Acting out in a way that is betraying someone who trusts you is entirely different. I would not judge someone if they were attracted to me. Will I judge their actions if they betray the trust of someone close to them? You bet.

That is behavior that is hurtful to others, and that is a category in my world that falls under "unacceptable".

Again, maybe you are only observing a mere fraction of what actually takes place in the world around you.

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They do act Violets, all it takes is an excuse to do so

What is even funnier to me is one thinks that this is limited behavior..tsk tsk...it crosses lines of income and education from top to bottom.

posted January 02, 2014 09:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
They do act Violets, all it takes is an excuse to do so

What is even funnier to me is one thinks that this is limited behavior..tsk tsk...it crosses lines of income and education from top to bottom.

One assumes b/c YOU have not witnessed it, of course it does not happen...ie..solipsism

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My dear friend. I am afraid that you are inadvertently referring to yourself here. I have seen both women and men act that way. Hence I am not attributing that type of behavior to one sex or the other. Also, you assume that I am attributing these actions to a certain level of education or financial stability. No, I am not. I have seen people do this from all walks of life. When I see behaviors that give me red flags about someone, I walk away. See how that works?

posted January 02, 2014 09:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Sex and Relationships have very little to do with morality AG, that is Disney Film.

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