posted May 26, 2006 09:34 AM              

**that movie sounds interesting; I might rent it this weekend...working it in around the obligatory "cook outs" you must attend on Memorial Weekend.**
holiday weekend here as well .. looks like a good time to catch that movie .. "cook outs" could prove to be interesting .. a fair dose of passion about in the skies

for the 27th ..
~ Sun in Gemini ~ Moon in Gemini ~ Mercury in Gemini ~ Venus in Aries ~ Mars in Cancer ~ Jupiter (R) in Scorpio ~ Saturn in Leo ~ Uranus in Pisces ~ Neptune (R) in Aquarius ~ Pluto (R) in Sagittarius ~ Chiron (R) in Aquarius ~ Lillith in Virgo ~

posted May 26, 2006 12:26 PM            

Sex in all its many forms is right if it is right for all concerned and it makes all concerned feel good about themselves and other/others involved - surely?

And to bring the discussion down to personal bickering is just plain silly! lets all be nice :-)

posted May 26, 2006 01:31 PM              

I agree.......why was rape brought into this thread....what was the point of this, and why the need to resort to the negative side of something that is beautiful....

This is very unnecessary isnt it?

posted May 26, 2006 03:02 PM              

My apologies for the late application but I was polishing up my skills (my SKILLS people) lest I lose my gift for the art of pleasure....

As a seductive lady with not only venus in scorpio but also the sun and jupiter I would most like to join your 'parlour of pleasure.' I bring with me the gift of secrecy, seduction and a mouth like a gutter.... I hope you're not too full already. I'm ready for action and full of fun. Oh, and I make a mean pan of spagetti bolognese for our lunch breaks.

I look forward to your response and can forward my Cirriculum Sextae should it be nesessary,

Yours
Loulou The Hottie

posted May 26, 2006 03:12 PM              

So..
Everyone stick to the topic:

"everything you always wanted to know about men"

Or simply just start New threads for ALL the "off topic stuff"...not just the rape stuff, or just enjoy the spirals wherever they take take everyone.

posted May 26, 2006 05:18 PM              

LAUREN:
"Men and women are different no doubt.. but deep down, where it really matters, it's the same heart beating underneath it all."

"I guess I see it as ego-based and like I said it's very hard for me to understand how something as simple as love, something that should be honest and genuine can get distorted to this extent in power plays due to all sorts of different egotistical issues people have that they can't seem to get over. Why can’t people just forget about their egos and act as they would like others to act towards them in the same situation? Why is it that the ego always has to come first?"
"I wish people just treated each other with respect and with honesty and genuineness.. All these power plays really just complicate something that should be A LOT simpler and there’s absolutely no need for them."

BETELGEUSE:
"My advice - stay clear of them, theres plenty of no-nonsense love-you-for-who-you-are guys. No rules needed, just mutual affection."

"The truth of it is that we should always remember who we are. If we try to mask our true selves when we first enter a relationship, then our 'niceness' is being as destrcutive as their 'uncaring and devious' ways. One day, the person we love will see all sides of our personalities anyway, so why not start as you mean to go on. Noone, I mean absolutely NOONE, is a 'nice guy/girl' or a 'devious guy/girl'. It may seem this way to many, because a lot of people have got so used to wearing their masks, they forget to take them off. "
"
And you say 'no one will know'.... not true. I would know, and my girl sits in my heart with me, I would not only dishonor her, I would dishonor myself."

SWERVE:
"There are assholes in both genders, deal with it and appreciate the more genuine people you come across and realise no-one is perfect."

IQHUNK:
"Swerve has a valid point. The 3% of very high thinking men are rarely considered as more than friends. They are labelled "too sweet", "too nice" etc."

OHAD:
"Iqhunk-It's not about nice guys and assholes-it's about power-pure and simple, the thing is that the assholes will use their power more readily to hurt other people-"

PROXIEME:
agreeing with Swerve:
Swerve ~
quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are assholes in both genders, deal with it and appreciate the more genuine people you come across and realise no-one is perfect.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ACOUSTICGod:
>>My comment here first:
A true gentleman who will find his true love someday.<<<
Now his Quotes:
"Ok, my answer to the question is that I would never feel that impulsive to go for a gorgeous flirt when I'm in a good committed relationship. In fact, I'd be more inclined to be a little suspicious of someone coming onto me so strong. A good, long-term relationship is a rare find and I readily acknowledge that, so I'm likely to treasure it."

"I agree with Lioneye. I'll also say that you really have to stay open to the possibility that a person can be good."

"I'd say that the most sensitive, special part of you doesn't reside between your legs, and if it does ... well I'll let you complete that thought."

CARDINALGAL:
"In my humble opinion, any man or woman who mistreats someone that treats them well isn't worth wasting your time on."

"If you have to 'trick' someone or employ some kind of elaborate plan in order to 'hook' them without their knowledge, then I feel that's a rather underhand and ultimately empty way to begin a relationship."

"I still think each person has their own individual way of knowing what feels "too soon" for them. One person's too soon can be another person's eternity!"

"If you place such importance and mystery on anything, it suddenly becomes the Holy Grail or the trophy to be sought out and won at all costs. Sadly that's what sex has become for many."

"Shouldn't it be love that we encourage men (and women) to prize over and above all else? Shouldn't we be teaching our sons and daughters that they must work hard to win the ultimate goal: to love and be loved?

Sex isn't the evil here and neither are the men and women who enjoy it at whatever stage they're at in a relationship. I would say it's much more likely to be mistrust, manipulation and deceit that ultimately destroy a relationship."

"Abstinence doesn't automatically produce an engagement ring and neither does abundance. Neither do either of them automatically command respect. Nothing in actual fact guarantees the longevity of a relationship. But I think honesty and love make it a great deal more enjoyable."

>>And heres to..
Dulce Luna who agreed with the above by Cardinalgal.<<

LIONEYE68:
"All I can say is - hang on, everyone. Most people become way more down to earth as they get older. They become more genuine, and want mates who are also genuine. Flaring egos and head games will simply begin to fade out of the equation. You'll see."

"Girls who are used repeatedly for one night stands become the most bitter women of all."

>>>My reply: Yes...this often happens and if she is lucky a person who really loves her will come into her life. But often professional counseling will be needed first. Crushed self worth is a hard burden to bear and to heal and love onesself is not always a thing one so beaten down can do alone.<<<

LALALINDA:
"I'm all for girl power but first you've got to respect yourself before you can expect others to respect you."

"Unfortunately women who sleep with a lot of men are usually dealing with self-esteem issues and looking for acceptance or validation. They confuse sex with love.
Ever sleep with someone and regretted it?
Be honest

Confident women who know their own worth don't sell themselves short or "settle" for something short of exactly what they want.
Same thing can be said about men. "

>>>>>My reply here: Many folks in their youth are this way. Crushed self esteem is hard to repair. That lack of selfesteem/worth, is often the result of childhood abuses done to them. But recovery is possible. Self esteem and self respect can be had even by those folks. It may take counseling but these folks are not all lost causes or "tainted" goods. Some of the most beautiful & lasting relationships involve a partner who has walked the ugly degrading side of life and survived and was healed of their childhood baggage and self worth/attractiveness validation needs/issues they erroringly thought promiscuity could solve, only to discover it made them feel worse not better about themselves. Many a predatory type(female and male) used these needy promiscuous people to satisfy their own need to control another.<<<

LeylaLeFay:
"I've always thought the whole "Honey Pot" thing was a self fulfilling prophecy.

Our mothers only used that scare tactic on us as teens so we wouldn't come home pregnant."

"So, you pester him for reassurance. You make him say he loves you over and over again. You try to pressure him for promises and commitments. You become clingy, needy and desperate.

He wonders why you turned weird all the sudden. He thinks you've changed into a crazy obsessive stalker. He runs for the door.

You end up causing the very thing you were trying to prevent.

So long as you don't panic, he won't."

MYSTICALDREAM:
"Attitudes about sex are most likely influenced by attitudes in the home, culture, etc., as much as they are by Venus placements. Someone from a very conservative, religious culture will have different attitudes and lifestyles from someone brought up more progressively.......no matter where Venus is in your chart. So please let's not stereotype Venus in Scorpios as the Sl*ts of the zodiac........."

>>>My reply: I agree. My Venus is in Scorpio also. I had serious self esteem issues when under 25. But have since learned to love and respect myself. And isn't Venus about LOVE...not just sex?<<<

PLANET_SOUL:
"The most important thing to me is the emotional connection. I don't regret having slept with whomever I have. If anything, I have learned somethign from every single encounter. What caused me heartbreak were the occasions when I gave my heart away too soon to the wrong men."

PIDAUA:
"I have to agree with what IQ said about putting pain / punishment out into the Ethers as a form of sexual intercourse or pleasure where only one person benefits."

"Take the act of rape, pedophilia or beastiality. All actions are taken against the will of another entity (man / woman, child, animal). What type of angry wavelength results when that goes into the Universe. For every action there is a reaction- it has to be felt somewhere."

posted May 26, 2006 06:11 PM              

I am sure it will be a pleasure to work with you.....and I am happy to offer you employment at my house of love.....

Hehe

You guys are lovely ...... wonderful sense of joy......what a shame we cannot meet and really work together....

Ooooohhh.....what fun we would have.....!

Maybe one day hey?

In the meantime, keep them applications rolling in ladies.....

posted May 26, 2006 06:18 PM              

what's worse is that I can't cook worth a damn.

posted May 27, 2006 11:36 AM              

This string will also be memorable for the Madam Sue Pleasure Parlour plan. One of the most entertaining diversions in a message string ever in LL, especially with all the application letters!

posted May 27, 2006 03:30 PM              

Very wonderful words Fayte, again a beautiful mix of sensivity and practical logic. I have been promiscouis in the past, very much so, desperately so. And while I kidded myself I was loved it made me feel ultimately worse.
My now husband has similar childhood issues to me and yes, the pattern can be broken. And what true joy to be faithful, to be respected and loved, and to have children who we don't hurt or ignore or destroy, only love and cherish and adore.

posted May 28, 2006 07:21 AM              

I was a member of several BDSM socities for several years, and they are very normal loving couples just like everybody else ...with a twist.

Sometimes the man wanted to be a "slave" to the woman, or the woman a "submissive" to the man, and sometimes they would switch back and forth.

Some liked bondage, others pain, some of the men liked to be called names and worship shoes, I saw many interesting forms this fetish can take.

If anything, it was the partner doing the submitting who enjoyed it most.

It is all "safe sane and consentual." The submissive partner sets up the scene, exactly what they want done to them.

They sign contracts as to what activities they are into, and they have a "safty word" they call if something goes too far.

The reason women submit is because often they are brought up in strict religious homes where it was forbidden for a woman to enjoy consentual sex. She has to role-play and pretend she is being taken "against her will" to achieve satisfaction.

The men who submit, it is usually because he grew up in a home where he was not allowed to show weakness, and required to be super-masculine and tough. He may also hold a job where he holds life and death in his hands, like as a judge or military officer, and needs the psychological release of being totally weak and helpless.

These are normal law abiding citizens, who are good people, and the psychological release of the role play is very cathartic and healing to them. They seem to need it.

posted May 28, 2006 02:20 PM              

Totally agree!
And adults.
Also no one under the influence of anything with the resulting impaired judgement. Getting someone drunk or slipping them a Mickey is not implied consent. That is using another person.

posted May 28, 2006 02:40 PM              

>>>Role playing in a safe setting is healthy.
It is also a safety valve to allow folks to safely act out their fantasies. And yes! It can indeed heal psyches and can help strengthen a relationship. And these folks are far from being weirdos or perverted deviants. Everyone has different comfort levels about sex and their desire levels differ too.
Yes...to each their own.

On another note extreme repression is potentially dangerous. It can lead a person to violence even of a non sexual nature. For most folks it fortunately never becomes anything more than an internal issue and is never realized and acted upon.
But for some idividuals living under repressed societal conditions or trapped in controlling relationships, such repressions can, without release, take on terrible forms of expression.
How many folks committimg sexual crimes against children and even adults would have been freed of that need if allowed to express it in a safe yet satisfying way?

The statistics have shown a higher degree of forced and most violent sexual impositions are being comitted by the most repressed of persons. Jack The Ripper, The Boston Strangler, Chicatello(Citizen X)...and so forth. These folks often appear shy or pious, or celebate and such. Or even friendly and kind, Bundy(psychiatrist)...Gacey(a clown).
The scandals in the "churches" have shown some effects of sexual repression being covertly released upon the unwilling and the innocent.