posted May 07, 2006 06:57 PM            

1. If you treat them good, they'll treat you like shite. You've got to sneak up on them and develop a true friendship so they''ll think twice before they deliberately hurt you. Give yourself time to grow on them.

2. Want to win their heart? be a total disappointment. they call, you're not always home.
The more they work for it, the more they'll value it.

3. Every now and then just disappear. even if its quiet time for yourself but refuse to explain. Get indignant about it.

4. Learn his game and beat him at it. If we have to play by their rules why not trump them? We do have the advantage, we don't carry around a lightning rod in our pants that points to or salutes every man who passes by.
Men really do have two heads and they don't always think with the one above their neck.

5. They will stay interested if you don't give up the honey pot.
If you say no they'll constantly think about it and in their mind build it up to be more than it really is. (ohh the power of persuasion)
Remember men respond to what they see and
Women respond to what they hear.

6. We want to believe all the great lines we hear and (at the time) they seem so sincere but its the chase that they're interested in and words are just tools to win with. You are not the only woman to hear these sweet nothings. If it works they'll use it again and again.

if you're lucky enough to find one of the 3% that doesn't apply to the above, then disregard the above.

out

posted May 08, 2006 12:17 AM            

I don't hear any of the men out there calling me a B

More important in my message is the option of abstaining from sex. This will cut down significantly on related issues. Not to mention the disease factor. Its true you do have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince but you don't have to sleep with them.

posted May 08, 2006 04:41 AM              

*edit

Though I must say, those rules wont do much for you in Europe. I’ve heard that men in America are like that, so I suppose those rules will work on them. You know the type, drink beer, goes crazy for sport, a touch of Neanderthal perhaps, their house is stuffed with hard core porn, they barely read…and if they do their porn collection still exceeds it their house is a mess, they beat or cheat on their girlfriend…or both, you may even find a touch of white supremacy there and drives like a maniac. mmmm sexy

posted May 08, 2006 10:24 AM            

Although, most men I know, myself included, would not be applicable to these rules. Its almost plutonion-like control being exerted for the sake of the relationship being enduring. But I know most men prefer a woman to be natural in her expression, and if she doesnt have enough to keep him interested, its his loss!

posted May 08, 2006 04:52 PM            

Its natural for women to want to connect and share our most personal feelings with the right man but a bit overwhelming for men. And that will never change. We look for emotional security and their looking for variety.
Of course their comes a time when they grow up and the only thing they haven't tried is monogamy

My initial post was tongue-in-cheek and the stats are exagerated (or accurate in my experience)

As a woman I know my value but the wrong man can make you doubt yourself.
We're sensitive and take to heart most sweet things they say on our quest to find our soul mates so our love dissappointments are magnified, its not as easy to shake it off as it would be for a man, but if we take into consideration how they "think" that will even the odds.

posted May 08, 2006 05:26 PM            

quote:

---

I don't hear any of the men out there calling me a B

---

Are you wanting debate?

1. "If you treat them good, they'll treat you like shite." This is born of two things that I can think of right off the top of my head (the one on my shoulders). First, there's treating good as in going out of your way trying to win him over. That often creates an unbalance, and when there's an unbalance the pursued ditches the pursuer regardless of the gender roles. Second, there's creating the situation where you are effectively doing things for him, and allowing him to be lazy. You can't really blame a guy for you taking advantage of yourself on his behalf. If you resent the nice thing or things you do for him, stop doing them.

2. "The more they work for it, the more they'll value it." This can be true.

3. "Get indignant about it." You'll win no brownie points for being indignant.

4. "Learn his game and beat him at it." What's our game? Most men's lighting rods don't point to or salute other men.

5. "They will stay interested if you don't give up the honey pot." Some will and some won't. Depends on your outlook on sex as WaterNymph said. Getting involved in sex prior to developing a real friendship can be super problematic however.

6. "Words are just tools to win with." For some. For others the only words they use are what naturally springs forth from their personality.

posted May 08, 2006 09:59 PM              

**We look for emotional security***
.. so instead ..y'all go out .. subconsciously seeking men with uranian aspects left right and centre .. and a pluto aspect or two for company ;;-)) mr.safe and secure doesn't get glanced at .. .. honest that is what 'how to pik up women' spam mail from Daniel-'im the hottest-Levoir states .. (and i reckon he should know .. being as he is on the .. internet ) .. woman actualy like b******s .. and .. so .. mr.niceguy doesn't stand a blinding chance in getting their attention .. .. i'm off (albeit belatedly ) to take a crash course in being an attention seeking / fight provoking / abuse projecting / lager over-consuming .. person of male gender .. ( if my bollocks remain intact)

** and their looking for variety.**
yeah .. it's that species survival instict again .. guys cannot help it .. some actually sleepwalk and persue the all important 'variety' .. i actually once "came to / woke up" in a neighbours bedroom .. all highly embarassing of course untill i explained that my lightning rod had electrical earthing difficulties ..
.. .. sans variety is akin to boredom .. routine boredom creates an ambience of random impotentcy (species thang again) .. I begged my last g/f to wear a different costume every night and assume various positions .. but she complained it made her feel emotionaly insecure .. .. deadlock again .. what can a broken hearted guy do .. except play the blues

** but if we take into consideration how they "think" that will even the odds.**
i can see that in the middle of a relationship argument .. " .. 'scuse me my dearest .. but lets take five whilst i take into consideration how you think .. " ( image of caveman flashes thru womans brain ) .. .. .. can't help but think Basil and Sybil from Fawlty Towers ( john cleese .. and his real 'wife' i think ) would do with some of the above lines .. as in .. the sketches they could think up :-))

posted May 09, 2006 12:41 AM            

and in the end
women will give sex for love
and
men will give love for sex

posted May 09, 2006 05:16 AM              

I wonder what would be said if it were the other way around? I have noticed all of the things mentioned here and all the arguments however varied.

Its a HUMAN problem. Too many women seem to be hell-bent on congratulating themselves for being women. Do you really believe all ladies are sugary sweet and devoted to the pursuit of love and a soul-mate in this cold uncaring world fille with monsters with lightning rods?

OK, lets make this clear....NICE GUYS ARE TREATED LIKE CRAP BY WOMEN. Hope you got that. You are as much if not more responsible for the attitudes of men today (not to mention the fact that after Sex and the City women are actually trying to BE men - Samantha should have been a drag queen btw).

Some women seem to be in denial about this, whereas men are pretty honest about their ways. Women are much more adept at lying as they have had to protect the family and a man's fragile ego since the dawn of time. An unfortunate side-effect of this is that they believe their lies half the time and get confused.

There are assholes in both genders, deal with it and appreciate the more genuine people you come across and realise no-one is perfect.

I have a feeling the women who spout this rubbish have men in their past who would point to the fact that perhaps there was a time where they saw a side to the lady in question that may well contracdict her current stance on this. I would imagine this is conveniently forgotten or ignored for argument's sake though...

posted May 09, 2006 05:31 AM              

Guys keep talking, love to hear the male side of things. Glad you've decided to open up. I'm taking notes.

This is sooo interesting.

posted May 09, 2006 07:04 AM              

Swerve has a valid point. The 3% of very high thinking men are rarely considered as more than friends. They are labelled "too sweet", "too nice" etc.

The Alpha Male type is hated by most girl's minds but stimulates many girl's sexual instincts. Millions of years of genetic programming. Alpha Male need not be just muscular these days but more like a Humphrey Bogart type who shows absolutely no interest in women and whose speech borders on misogyny. His attitude captures the "Mind Space" of several women.

With 97% of women, it is not love or hatred but percentage of mind space. The man she thinks the most about whether negatively or positively is likely to physically win her. Superman and Lex Luthor can be equally attractive but Clark Kent is just sweet, he wont win easily.
Batman and Ras-Al-Ghul will capture the imagination but rarely is a Peter Parker given consideration.

So 97% of genetically programmed men and women are made for each other. Like attracts Like! The 3% of women who can master their emotions will someday attract the 3% of men who are high thinkers and ethical and honest.

And hence we all can live happily ever after

posted May 09, 2006 08:15 AM              

------------------
"I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest."
John Keats

posted May 09, 2006 10:18 AM            

Theres was no such thing as a 'nice guy' until we created that role in our imaginations. And the role was only ever created in self-pity - 'nice guys' felt unjust due to the actions of 'scornful women'. So the two polar opposites were formed, on the one end we have Mrs B!tch whom plays devious games with mens feelings, and on the other end we have Mr Nice Guy who sorrowfully asks why 'Nice Guys always finish last'. This human condition plays out both ways, where 'nice' women will ponder why men treat them so badly, whilst the 'devious' men follow their lower desires only.

Its very easy to place the blame on the 'devious' men and women in this situation. After all, if someone is too nice to them, they eventually turn away, and look for a new challenge elsewhere. So we end up concluding that these people do not deserve our 'nice' attention, and our genuine efforts to win their heart... but are the efforts genuine?

You see, thats the paradox we have created in the power-game. The 'Nice Guy/Girl' can be less natural in their expression. They project an energy that says 'Hey, I'm a really nice guy, you would be MAD not to love me! Look at my qualities! I would never hurt you, never lie to you, never treat you badly'. They have become so aware of their own self-image of 'niceness' that when they project it onto a potential partner, it can drown them in an ocean of ungenuine feeling. And people feel this on deeper levels, even if they are not consciously aware of it. Thats why interest is lost, and the relationship can feel one -sided, the 'Nice Guy' is contributing to the unbalancing. Both the 'devious' and the 'nice' should accept equal responsibility.

Everyone has probably noticed this unequal exchange at some time in their lives, you have probably all played it out at one time or another. There was a girl I liked a few years ago, we had been friends for a few years before I liked her, so we knew each other well. I would call her on the phone and go round to her house, trying to win her. No matter how hard I tried, I didnt seem to be getting anywhere, and eventually she lost interest completely and I withdrew. And then, after a week of me withdrawing, she suddenly started going crazy for me! This same girl who had brushed off all my previous advances with a kind of indignant swipe of her hand, was now seeing me in tremendously romantic ways. It took me a long time to work out why this happened. I think at the time, I just said'life is so ironic!'

But during my initial advances towards her, I realised I was being... 'too nice'. I was trying to present myself in the best possibly light, choose the best manners, trying to be witty, charming, kind and complimentary. It didnt have a great deal of effect on her, not the effect I had expected anyway. But it was me who started playing the 'power-game'. I tried showing myself in un-natrual ways.
As soon as I withdrew, I returned to myself again, and my female friend starting seeing the truer elements of me. And she made her advances to win me. Although, I could see myself in her actions. She was presenting herself in such a way to make herself more appealing, and it was my turn to feel a strange sense of disinterest. We never ended up going out with each other!!! It was a crazy 4 weeks, where we alternated romantic advances, and turned each other down, we still laugh about it now!

posted May 09, 2006 10:32 AM              

quote:

---

There are assholes in both genders, deal with it and appreciate the more genuine people you come across and realise no-one is perfect.

---