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Author Topic:   Meissieri
12muddy
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posted June 19, 2013 08:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 12muddy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Faith
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posted June 20, 2013 07:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh no, she's sick?

Thinking of you, Meissieri!

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meissieri
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From: Neptune with my LL ladies... and commuting between Chiron, Moon & Saturn
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posted June 20, 2013 08:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for meissieri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Muddy & Faith

You've made the thread already! Lol I was going to reply to you there and start one. Thanks for being so quick!! I love it

Faith, haha, no, it's fine, I've just had an operation and I'm recovering. Nothing deadly or anything. You're really sweet! I'm doing better. Like I said in one of the Sweat Peas threads, I've had my final reconstructive operation - breast augmentation last year that went wrong. ;__; So glad it's finally over with. I shocked my uncle with it, too, he thought it was something life-saving. Ugh, sorry for scaring everyone!!

Are you doing okay yourself?

Muddy, thank you :hug:
Have you found anything new after that brief thing with accounting?

Thanks again you both. Hee, our own thread~

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Faith
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posted June 20, 2013 03:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Whew! Glad you seem to be doing just fine! I still feel bad you had to get an operation that sounds like NO fun.

I don't like hospitals.

Doing pretty well over here, it's finally getting nice and warm outside (we had a cold spring) and it feels too good to be true!

What else is new in your world, since we have a whole thread to talk about it.

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meissieri
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From: Neptune with my LL ladies... and commuting between Chiron, Moon & Saturn
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posted June 20, 2013 05:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for meissieri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It wasn't, but I'm happy I did it. Now it's just about two months of recovering and I'll be able to get back to my normal life, playing sports, swimming, etc.

Are you afraid of them? I don't really like them either, I hate feeling sick even when the doctors are very good to me.

Ahhh, nice! Time to be outside again! Our spring wasn't that good either. Everyone's in a much better mood when it's sunny.

I'm sure it'll feel more true soon!

Yes, plenty of space~
Not the happiest news, my year has been knock after knock so far. Just stopped talking to most of my friends of a couple of years, who turned out to not really be interested in me anyway. Probably never were.
I'm still grieving and it's going to be that way for a while. I cared a lot about them and invested a lot in their lives.
The good part is that I'll have more time and won't have to leave every weekend open just in case. I've been wanting to get back to volunteerwork for a while and when I'm recovered from my operation, I think I'll start looking. At least I know I'm doing it for something good over there. Don't know how this is all going to play out, but I'm toying around with the idea.

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meissieri
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From: Neptune with my LL ladies... and commuting between Chiron, Moon & Saturn
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posted June 20, 2013 06:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for meissieri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
By the way, what degree are your suns in? I wouldn't be surprised if we have a sun-moon conjunction, things clicked so well with both of you right away. That's how I feel about people who conjunct one of my luminaries most of the time.

My moon is at 15.39 degrees.

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Faith
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From: Bella's Hair Salon
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posted June 20, 2013 09:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
15.49 degrees.

I don't have an exact birth time, but that's a good approximation. And I agree, we did hit it off right away, and that's probably why! What degree is your sun? It probably aspects a lot in my chart, since I have a lot of fire in the middle degrees.

*hug* about two months recovery and losing friends! So terrible. I used to get sick to my stomach if I thought a friendship was crumbling...thought it was always my fault, my flawed personality....

Lately I haven't been feeling that way. I lost a friend a few years ago, and strangely enough it forced me to develop coping mechanisms that are still coming in handy. So if I think a friend is going to drift away, I'm thinking, "Oh well...at least I know how to cope." Basically I'm just better at keeping the impermanence of everything in perspective.

to volunteer work and I'm jealous! I would love to have time for that. When I'm older I hope to get involved with hospice (do they have Hospice in the Netherlands?)

Nice chatting with you, have to run though, my kids are calling!

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12muddy
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posted June 20, 2013 11:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 12muddy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It’s so nice seeing both in here <3


My sun is at 3’57, venus is at 17'13. my leo Jupiter is at 12’31, does it form an aspect to your sun?


Rie how are you feeling now? I’m terribly afraid of pain so as soon as I saw the word “operation” I was like “oh noooooo ......I hope she’s doing ok” I’m sorry you have to go through it again =(

And I’m sorry about your (ex)friends. Meh I hate losing friends. I feel that when they drift away or ditch me for no reason they leave a big gaping hole in my world. Ugh. I hope things will get better for you. How’s uni/college ?

I had a miscarriage and I was sad for a few days, then I felt better and thought I was ok. But I slowly slipped into sadness again and it was hell so I took a few weeks off work. I’m feeling much better now. Back to work lol

The accounting thing didn’t turn out so well. I’m thinking about taking a sculpting course. Or maybe I should just focus on silver smithing.

Yeah I dislike the cold with a burning passion lol I like when it’s warm and sunny... hmm sunshine always feels delicious on my skin, like warm honey. Volunteer work sounds great, what kind of work do you want to do ?

Faith, pls tell me about your garden. I remember that you like gardening and now it’s spring. What are you planning to do with your garden this year ?

I've been obsessing over this

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Faith
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posted June 21, 2013 08:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh no, sorry you had a miscarriage!

I can relate to what you wrote, because I had a miscarriage, and it was the same way: I thought I'd get over it fast, no problem, but I didn't. I had a lot more physical and emotional pain to endure than I thought I would.

*HUG* But you're okay now?

And another question, were you born on Christmas?

So your Venus, my sun, and Meissieri's moon are all conjunct...isn't that fantastic? And just think, on a non-astrology forum, we could be talking like this and never have known it.

I don't know my ASC since my birth time was given to me as "around 6:45 pm." And I'm positive I was born immediately after dinner. Anyway, I tried rectifying my chart using a few different methods (long, boring story) and decided on 7pm, which gives me a 12 Leo ASC

My little garden is a mess and I wouldn't post pictures! Is that your garden plot and house? Soooo pretty!

We live in a rural area in the summer but we haven't gotten to the house yet. The property is lovely, but I can't take any credit for it; it's just a field and forest that happen naturally.

Hoping this finds you both comfortable and happy.

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meissieri
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From: Neptune with my LL ladies... and commuting between Chiron, Moon & Saturn
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posted June 21, 2013 05:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for meissieri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@Faith:

Okay, that's tight enough Wow, just 10 minutes apart! Even if your birth time isn't completely sure, I'm still a little shocked here. The synastry does back it up.

My sun's at 21'33 Leo (so yes, I think that'd be a very loose aspect to your Jupiter, Muddy?). Where do you have these fire planets?

*hugs as well* Gahh, the blaming yourself is the worst. I'm sure it wasn't one of your flaws! But yeah, that feeling's been like me. Took me quite a while to stop blaming myself for my last group of ex-friends and last ex. I really thought it was all on me - same for this time, actually. Lots of excuses like how it's just how they are, how I couldn't expect them to be this or that, how I should just get over it and be more social & show them the way, etc. But it just becomes a pain when it means dragging someone along - I hate pushing myself onto people.

Sorry about your friend. That sounds like a good coping mechanism, though. As long as it works for you. *sigh* It doesn't get easier, but at least it helps to be coping. Please don't become too jaded! If you can. It's true, a lot of things aren't as long-term as you'd think. Hurts to find out every time.

Something like it just happened this afternoon. I had an appointment for checkup at the clinic and all the women there had their husband and children with them, plus a bunch of friends. I was alone. I'm lucky if my mum can get off work to come with me. It felt unfair seeing all of them with so much backup. Checkup went just fine, by the way!

Thanks! Yeah, it's always the lack of time, isn't it? Wow, that's such a wonderful thing to do. I don't know if I could handle that emotionally. We do have them (for people who are terminally ill, right?) and I'm glad they exist. You have to be very caring for people as a human being then.

Sure, get back anytime it works for you.

Oh, and I've missed a bit... I'd love to know about your garden too.

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meissieri
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From: Neptune with my LL ladies... and commuting between Chiron, Moon & Saturn
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posted June 21, 2013 05:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for meissieri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@Muddy

Oh wow, I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. Please keep taking care of yourself. Of course work wouldn't be on your mind right now. Take your time to grieve. I know you wanted to get back to work, but I think you've done the right thing taking some time off. If only it'd be that easy to get over something big, right? Are you feeling a bit better now? :hug:

Same for you, Faith. Wow, something like that already. I haven't gone through it myself, but the "thought I was over it" really hits home here.

Haha. I love it. A whole cluster! Thanking astrology for that.

That garden is so beautiful! I'd be obsessed over that too. Flowers~ How long have you worked on it?

As for the ex-friends, yeah, that's exactly what it feels like right now. I've heard all the rational arguments like, "It wasn't such a good friendship anyway" but I can't think like that, not yet. I envy people who can, and yet I don't 'cause I like knowing I cared. Hmm... how do I say it... I don't want that kind of power to shrug everyone off just like that.
Thanks, I'm trying
Sadly, university gave me a knock too. Failed two of my exams and have to retake them, and if I don't pass, I will fail my year. I'll be studying again this summer. I've missed too many classes due to the illness and recoveries. The whole year just went spiralling down.

Shame the accounting didn't turn out the way you liked. If you don't mind me asking, didn't you like it or was it too hard? Some courses could be cool! Depends if you want to do it alone or in a group?

Oh, I don't mind the cold as long as there's snow. (And I don't have to bike through it, ha!) Sunny weather's much better! Warm honey, I like how you put that. Very poetic.

So it's Moon-Venus, that's still close We have a Mercury-Venus trine too then ^^ My Merc is at 14'45 Virgo. I like aspects to it, these people can keep up with my chatter

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Faith
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posted June 22, 2013 08:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ohhhh yeah I can keep up with chatter! Second decan Cap is, in my opinion, the "neverending story" decan...we don't let things drop.

Are either of you familiar with Gary Goldschneider's Secret Language astrology books? I might have mentioned this to you, meissieri, since he lives in the Netherlands. Anyway, if you haven't, I will say more about it in my next post.

*hug* about going to the doctor alone, if you were lonely!

What's the story with your friends, are you out of touch with all of them? I don't mean to pry, just saying, feel free to talk.

Well let's see...

Maybe I have become jaded. Hmmm. I don't really know. On the one hand, I've always been kind of child-like, always giving people the benefit of the doubt, always naively expecting good things to happen. But I think I may have stopped really getting emotionally wrapped up in people. Like, they touch me on some level and I don't let it go any further because I don't want to risk the pain of it all falling apart.

Deep ^^

It began, I think, when my mother died when I was 14. I learned how to totally disconnect, out of necessity. Then I had a soul mate for several years. I disconnected with him by choice (though it was a hard choice that I regretted for a long time.) The last lesson came with this friend who suddenly rejected me (on false grounds, I think.) I learned to disconnect and kind of stay disconnected because rejection can come at any time.

Not sure if that is a good "Zen" way to be or some kind of dysfunction. I do know that I get by pretty well on a day to day basis, with family affection and friendship. Something is missing but I feel like that has to come from inside of me. More self-love, love of life...that kind of thing.

About growing flowers~

I never have grown much; I'm trying to grow wheatgrass on a regular basis but keep having troubles with even that.

Oh how I envy people with green thumbs!

Well I think that's all for now, hope this post finds you both in good spirits.


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meissieri
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From: Neptune with my LL ladies... and commuting between Chiron, Moon & Saturn
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posted June 22, 2013 06:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for meissieri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Great It is? Must be the Taurus flavour, hehe. Yeah, the never-ending thing's nice.

I think I've heard of the title! Please tell me more, haha. And you can call me Ri or Rie like Muddy does. Even some of my teachers would call me that But pick any you like.

I was. Sometimes I don't want to face it...

Oh, it's okay, you can ask. I haven't seen them in a two months or so and they never really kept in touch when we weren't hanging out. The final blow for me was definitely when I went through depression this year, then exam struggles that kept me away from friends and then the operation, which none of them wished me good luck for. That while they all know my number, e-mail, Twitter and such, so if they want to know, all they have to do is ask. It finally hit me that they really don't care and probably never have. One of them includes my best friend of 8 years, which made it so hard. There were some good memories, so I wanted to keep hope it'd be okay. Then there's this other old friend that I have this constant on-and-off friendship with. Bleh. I don't want to see any of them right now.

Oh, that's a completely normal reaction, I mean, you can only be treated badly for so long until you hit a breaking point. It's not the best choice to close off, but sometimes it's just... necessary or at least it feels that way. That was me in college. I just couldn't do it anymore. Neptune's a double-edged sword, really. :| I wouldn't be offended if you keep a bit at distance from me emotionally, we just met and all.

The disconnecting out of necessity, yeah, sadly I know what you mean. Gah, your mother died that young? That's so sad, I get that'd shake you up. I'm so sorry about that ex-soulmate and ex-friend. Losses like that just hurt. ;__; It couldn't have been easy for you to break away. I don't know, I don't think you make choices like that just like that. But you do have a nice family <3

Maybe it doesn't have to come from within yet. Maybe it can build up slowly?

Shame about the growing! Are you enjoying it at least? People look so peaceful when I see them gardening (or sound that way talking about them). It's nice. They've found their thing.

It had

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Faith
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posted June 24, 2013 08:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks, Rie!

So Meissieri is your real first name? That's pretty.

I've been super busy, but I'll get back to this thread soon (and yes, you will get to hear the boring details about what I've been up to! )

See you later!

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meissieri
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From: Neptune with my LL ladies... and commuting between Chiron, Moon & Saturn
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posted June 24, 2013 09:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for meissieri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Haha, no, it's a nickname too. Sorry, I mixed a few things up there. My real name is Rianne, but most people end up calling me Ri/Rie/Rietje/Rhianna some form of it. But thanks Especially people who speak English tend to think this is easier). Whatever works for them. <3

Lol now I'm getting curious about all those details (I don't think they are).

Yeah, talk to you later. Hope things will calm down for you soon.

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Faith
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From: Bella's Hair Salon
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posted June 24, 2013 04:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by meissieri:
Rietje

Oh I love Dutch names! And pardon me for saying so, but just reading that makes me nostalgic about when I was obsessed with Girl With a Pearl Earring (I know, I already mentioned it to you. ) Colin Firth in that movie:

Rianne is also a pretty name!

My real name is....

*edited out! *

Talk to you soon, Rie!

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meissieri
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posted June 24, 2013 05:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for meissieri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Glad you still have time for a short message!

Yes you have! I think we were talking about Delft. Is it one of your favourites? The film, I mean. He did look good in it, wow. I thought Scarlett Johansson was very good as well. It's been a while since I watched it, so I don't know if I still remember everything, though.

I really like yours as well! It's a pretty known name here too. Want me to pretend I've never seen it? :P Sure, you can edit it now.

You sound so Sagittarian with your passion for foreign cultures and such. It's really nice.

Hoping Muddy is okay. I guess she's busy. Enjoy the rest of your week, you both. If you'd rather reply a little later, go ahead.

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Faith
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posted June 25, 2013 07:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi there!

Thanks for saying I sound Sagittarian. I have 9H Jupiter; the Walter Pullen charts over at astro.com say Sag is my dominant energy and Jupiter is my dominant planet. You're very perceptive!

I love travel and learning about different cultures. I just have no talent for picking up foreign languages. My German friend is amazed at just how poor my retention is for German words and expressions; it's like I have some kind of mental block. How many languages do you speak? Have you always lived in the Netherlands?

I didn't see the film Delft. I wonder if my library has it, hmmm. I'll check. They have a big international film section. Here's a confession~ I love Bollywood films! LOL Probably my Pisces moon sucking up the melodrama.

I can't understand why your friends were so unfriendly, you definitely deserve better than that. When we first started talking, I suspected that you might have trouble finding people who could match your level of attentiveness and caring, because you are so uncommonly kind. It seems people like you give more than you get. Would you say that's the case?

Sorry for all the questions, I tend to "interview" people. Ignore whatever you like, I won't be offended.

About second decan Cap: yes, I think the Taurus "flavoring" is a big part of our endurance and also sentimentality (with Venus hovering over us.) Gary Goldschneider, the astrologer I keep mentioning, compiled a database of 25,000 people and their birthdays over the course of 40 years, then devised a system of astrology with 48 signs. In my opinion, it's remarkably accurate. He says people born between January 3-9 (roughly second decan) are some of the most determined people born in the year (if I do say so myself!) He says that we never quit, never truly accept failure, and don't drop relationships easily. We carry baggage for years and years, he observes.

^ And that's a big part of me. The longevity of emotions factor.

I had a best friend born around your time, her birthday is August 11th. We got along great for many years. Then she formed a lesbian relationship, had no desire to tell anyone, so she basically just cut everyone off all at once. Bit by bit, she came around and started talking to people again (after like five years) but I was just so hurt by her rejection that I decided not to take her up on her offer of renewing our friendship when it came again. Now I have another very good Leo friend, born August 16th. And I'm married to a Leo...I've always had lots of Leos in my life.

This post is so long, sorry! Feel free to ignore parts of it.

12muddy we miss you but if you're busy, we understand! <3

Have a great day!

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12muddy
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posted June 26, 2013 11:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 12muddy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi, god I’m sorry for the late reply. The contract for internet service ended and we switched to another provider. I thought it would take only 1 or 2 days but lol it took nearly a week for the order to go through.
Sorry if I missed bits of your posts. Hugs you both > <

Thank you both for your kind words. Yeah I didn’t think I would be slipping in and out of sadness like this. I thought “Well it’s ok we’ll try again”. But it has become some sort of a dark cloud that looms over us. Poor husband was in tears and he didn’t speak for 3 days. After a lot of talks and tears and childhood stories, we're feeling better. According to my chinese birth chart I have too much fire, so yeah the possibility of miscarriage has always been on my mind.

Faith that isn’t my garden <sigh> That’s the neighbour’s. I adore the tree with pink blooms. So pretty. The first time I saw it I mentally screeched “I WANT IT”. Meh. I like it, but at the same time I think it looks too prim and neat. Honestly I much prefer to have a garden where trees, grass and flowers grow wildly. Your “field and forest” sound lovely. Very unrestricted.


I was born on December 26th. I was born late and it was a long and difficult birth. My father said that at some point they thought I had died in the womb. Nope, I was purple and blue when they cut me out, but I screamed their ears off and I was a reasonably healthy baby.


Rie,

My Neptune is at 13’53 capricorn <3 but oh... you have libra ascendant right ? My cap stellium squares your ascendant <cry> All is still well, the squares will only add intensity to our friendship lol

I swear that you’re speaking my mind. People come into my life easily and they leave just as easily =( Over the time I just kinda accept that people’s paths are joined by a chance of fate, by a bit of karma. Once our karma runs dry we break apart and continue on our roads. Sometimes they take a part of me with them.


Faith’s story reminds me about the friend that ditched me. She is a Capricorn born on January 5th. She’s a Buddhist and she doesn’t eat meat so I took care not to eat meat or talk about meat when she was around. All was well until one day she just kinda exploded into my face and cut me off. Her reason was that she couldn’t bear to be friends with meat-eaters and she hated that I laugh too much. I’m still confused as hell lol it has been 9 months and I’ve called her three times but apparently she is still mad at me. I’ll continue to bug her and hopefully she’ll come around. She hasn’t changed her mobile number yet so yeah =))


I’m happy to know that your check up went
well <3 Wish I’d been there with you. I agree with Faith that you seem uncommonly kind and considerate. I believe that one day you’ll meet people who are just as kind.


Hope that your study go well. I wish you all the best. Study hard but please don’t forget to pamper yourself. Keep your strength and your spirit up <3 When I was in uni I had a love-hate thing with studying. I was happy to learn something that I loved, but at the same time I felt that it took up too much of my time and I couldn’t wait to finish.


Ah, I didn’t dislike accounting, but I disliked the working environment. When I was on that little internship I saw a lot of that “office power play”. Ugh. And they were too bossy, I don’t have much patience for people who like power trips <boring>. There are catty and bossy nurses too, but I guess I like nursing too much to leave the profession.


"Sending" you two a bit of honey <3

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meissieri
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From: Neptune with my LL ladies... and commuting between Chiron, Moon & Saturn
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posted June 26, 2013 06:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for meissieri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks both for your support. You're both so sweet and generous. I feel this burden lift off my shoulders just seeing your posts (and then I haven't even read them!).

@Faith:

So that's why!! Haha I really do feel it in your posts! Jupiter in its own house does a lot apparently! It can roam freely.

Good for you that Jupiter covers a lot! You do have a feel for the other parts of it. Maybe German just isn't your language? Have you tried anything else? It is a pretty hard language, especially the grammar. It's mandatory in 8th grade (and in high school too sometimes) over here. I did like it, but I can't really do much other than the basics. I speak Dutch and English fluently, plus the basics of German and French through studying it in middle school (more hearing/understanding) and Hebrew (part of my family is Israeli). Plus, I'm very much into Asian horror films, so I pick up a word or two sometimes.

Oh, sorry again. Wow, my mind is so muddled! I read back my last post and wow that was confusing. I meant the film Girl with a Pearl Earring as one of your favourites. I strung Delft and that film together. Lol it'd be cool if a film with that name existed, though! Ah you like checking out foreign films? And a little melodrama can be great. Sometimes you just want to get taken away by some fictional drama... I've watched like one or two Bollywood films? The music is what draws me in haha.

You're very perceptive, too. Quite amazing you got that from my first posts alone, where I wasn't even talking much about anything personal. No, don't worry about interviewing. I like the questions~ Don't worry about asking too much; I will say it if it gets too personal. Yeah, I do feel that way.

Some of it is on me. I've gotten so used to not being able to depend on anyone, not to expect anything and to suppress any hopes and wishes because of friends/boyfriends doing a 180 I'm picking up some of those traits. People I thought were understanding would literally blow up on me for wanting to be closer to them. Lots of massive lies or elaborate plans to get rid of me, too. And you know, it doesn't even hurt so bad what they've done. But the bullying me into staying away, the namecalling and endless lying about it did. It really felt like they didn't think of me as a person. But I guess I'm so hard to deal with that nobody wants me to have that kind of closure. :| It all had to be on their terms - and as long as they could get something out of it. I still have no idea what I may have done to make them drop off face off the earth like that. They just... stopped replying to me, stopped contacting me. *confused* I wonder if I really am manipulative and attention-seeking, 'cause again, I have the Sun-Pluto square and it must mean I have a share in it.

So... I'm shocked to see people like you or the two other online friends I have get back to me quickly, to be ready to chat and not busy doing 100 other things - it's hard to get back into the flow, you know?

It started when Uranus started transiting through my 7th house and I'm really meeting it from the outside. It's conjunct my Moon right now, ahhhhhh! Can't wait for that thing to be out of there! Anything but the 7th. And that's just a transit. Some have it natally and wow, I feel bad for them having to go through that every day.
But I did find Astrology a year ago, which is also Uranian ^^

Oh yes, the sentimental side. I'm going to google a little more on that book, it sounds interesting - does he really get that much information out of one birthday? Heh. Why wouldn't the Cap/Taurus combo give you such a hard-working spirit? Both are so patient and think long-term! I believe it, too. But it can have a bad side, doesn't it? The 'not dropping relationships' part, I mean.

After five years?! That does make you wonder what was so important during those five years prior not to want to talk to you. Ugh. I get that you weren't feeling like it. Ahaha you're a Leo-magnet. They don't have the same birthday as me though, I'm a 14 August baby ^^

No, it's okay, it wasn't that long, I could read it all perfectly fine. I'm the last person to whine about length

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12muddy
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posted June 26, 2013 10:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 12muddy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Massive lies and elaborate plans? Probably your pluto square playing out. I read your posts and I keep thinking to myself, hell those are some seriously strange individuals, I mean who the hell does that to friends.

From your posts, the kind of friendship you want is normal. Wanting to be close to people you care about is natural. Friends talk, give support, fight and forgive, hang out, get involved, and invite each other over for lunches, dinners and sleepovers. Friends look out for each other, and over time, they become family. I don’t think you are manipulative or demanding at all. I’m puzzled as to why they treated you that way. I know that a lot of people are not quite interested in forming close bonds, but even if they didn’t want to let you into their lives they could have done it tastefully instead of sawing you off with a rusty knife to increase the pain.

All of this reminds me of the part of my favourite Disney animated movie.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHWSe1cNpKI

It’s ironic how the vultures are singing that they are friends till the bitter end lol.

I watched a lot of disney and read a lot of fairy tales when I was little. They have such a big effect on me. Even now I tend to immediately associate people with characters from books and animated movies lol.

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meissieri
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From: Neptune with my LL ladies... and commuting between Chiron, Moon & Saturn
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posted June 27, 2013 04:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for meissieri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
People who got sick of me, probably. I was upset when I wrote that, so of course I said that harshly, but yeah, with some of them I felt so strung along. You know, it's funny how you called them strange/weird, 'cause I always wondered why I had to have the "weird" kind of friendships that were so tied to school or the club/internet community we met at. I hear about how people meet up often and blowing up each other's cellphone... I don't think I've ever had a friendship like that. It was always cool and nice as it was, I felt like I couldn't come too close. Sometimes I was so busy/wrapped up in my own problems that I didn't mind nor notice. Just visiting people at their house now and then. It's quite sad. I always imagined my social life to be a lot more active and with something to do each weekend. I've got a lot of issues, and for a long time I was convinced that was what was in my way... or that I should be happy some people would still hang out with me. I'm sorry. I just don't know why it's not happening. It's not for a lack of reaching out to people - I do what I can with my weak health.

Romantically, too. The only two times I felt like I was in a real relationship, it ended quickly - once through people outside giving us too hard of a time and the guy backed out of it, then the other time I rushed into things while I wasn't ready, which killed it. I've been in touch with quite some guys (for friendship mostly) who were lonely - I could tell just by how they talked - but again, they were only in it to have someone they could whine to. It was depressing to keep finding out they used you.

Yeah, you're right, if someone's not interested, they might at least do it gracefully and not leave someone hanging. Obviously someone's not taking your "hints" and you've given them the wrong idea. I get this is a burden and not many people like being the bad guy, but it's not helping. And I'm not talking about stalking or any kind, this is about someone who thought of them as a friend/boyfriend who cared about her.

I'm just scared I'll end up stuck at home for the rest of my life without a husband, no friends, no children, no place of my own. I don't think I deserve that, it's not the life I'd want (I know some people are very happy this way, no offense meant). I don't want to feel even more handicapped than I already am. I've already survived so much and become a lot stronger mentally, I've become a lot more social and happier with who I am... why am I not seeing this play out in my life? If anything, it feels like I'm going backwards. I've just cut the only friends I have in real life - how am I going to meet any new people? (And I'll admit part of me wants them to come begging for me to come back and work things out... just so I can finally be the one who moves on. I don't want revenge or take some bitterness out on them, I just want to tell them that.)

But yes, I'd really love the lunches and meeting up and all of that. Sorry for dumping all of this on you, I'm getting back to your other post too.

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meissieri
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From: Neptune with my LL ladies... and commuting between Chiron, Moon & Saturn
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posted June 27, 2013 04:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for meissieri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And to get back to your other post: LL is freezing up again, so I'm trying to post the rest tomorrow.

Aww, Disney! So cute, thanks <3 Wow that Tiger's voice is deep. Back when everything still felt carefree and happy. You're quite the romantic type, I see ^^ Which ones did you love the most?

Wow, how frustrating to be without internet. I'm glad you got your connection back. A week without it after switching providers, that's way too long in this age, lol!

I also hope you're coping right now. You and your husband both - he must be feeling helpless, too. *hug* Please keep paying attention to the dark moods, that kind of depression is the hardest to really notice. I don't think it shows that much. You two are quite the power couple though, being able to go through that together. If it's not too tactless, I'm glad you could talk about it. Do you feel closer to him? Keep it up and keep checking in with people when you're getting down, okay?
Pff... too much fire, what?! But gahh, sorry it's been something you were scared of. ;_;

Oh, the neighbour's? Heh. You can still enjoy the view! That while dreaming of something more unrestricted. That's your moon talking, right?

You're a Christmas baby! But what a lot of trouble must that have been. Born blue - ouch, but also screaming. You came out fighting then! Haha. First thing you did was surviving something.

And nom, honey! That'll go well with my morning tea, hehe. It looks adorable <3

Lol don't worry about the square, guess we're just a lot more spiritual ^^ Moon-Neptune conjunctions are always nice. I like the natural sweetness it can give a friendship. Haha I can handle intensity!

I know, right? It's hard to get attached to someone and then they leave again. They do take a part of you with them. That's how you know they affected you, right? Don't like the breaking up, though.

Thanks for sharing that. Very sweet of you not to eat meat around her - you didn't have to do that, but it shows so much respect. Okay, meat-eating going against her faith I can sort of understand, but does someone really have to freaking blow up over that?! *sigh* What's wrong with someone who laughs often? Someone's happy and fun, that sounds like such a bs excuse, sorry to say! I'd be freaked out if she'd changed her number actually! That'd really make you feel it's because of you...
Three times in nine months is totally fine. Sorry she's so stubborn I hope she'll come around. That hurts. Do you miss her much?

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Randall
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posted June 27, 2013 06:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LL's traffic was burning up the server. I fixed it.

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12muddy
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posted June 28, 2013 02:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 12muddy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Randall: thank you. It's good to know that lindaland attracts a lot of people.


---


I'll have to post this in two parts.


My heart goes out to you <hug> Don’t feel sorry, say whatever on your mind it’ll make you feel a lot better. That is what I do too, I cry/talk/break things when I’m upset. Let it out. If you keep it in it’ll fester, like a wound.

Sorry if my post made you sad. I didn’t intend for it to have that effect. I guess what I want to say is that just hang in there, it will get better. You’re going through a rough patch now, but happiness can be just around the corner. Someone once told me that life is a long battle, and victory comes to those who stay alive. It is a bit dramatic lol but it is somewhat true. I’m glad that you have the strength to cut off toxic relationships. You deserve people who are genuine and kind. Probably for now just focus on making yourself feel better, you need time to heal, both emotionally and physically. That volunteer work that you talked about, a few posts ago sounds good. What kind of volunteer work do you want to do? I used to volunteer at an animal shelter. I got to meet some nice people and I got an excuse to pet cats and dogs all day =D


Please don’t feel like you’re going backwards. Sad as it is, in relationships and friendships, it takes two to tango. You’re sweet and lovely, you put your 100% into it, but if they only put in 20%, then (100+20)/2 = 60, that’s lukewarm at best. Not the red hot, deep meaningful relationships that you want. So please don’t blame yourself or feel like you’re going backwards. I’m sure that in time, you’ll meet people who really appreciate you <3


I can relate to how you feel, to a certain extent. I know that feeling when you think that your life will be a hellhole coz there is no way out. When I was still living in that trap, the threat of having to get married to some old man (in my country people still have arranged marriages, and in my family it’s a tradition lol) and the prospect of living in shackles of restriction for the rest of my life were quite depressing. It helped to have hopes, to keep looking forward to the future and to have plans. You’re in uni now, once you’ve finished your study, do you feel like living and working somewhere else? In another city, have a fresh start? It’ll probably change your luck and give it a boost =D Check out your relocation charts for the cities you’d like to live in.

I’ve just looked at my relocation chart and in the city where I live now, I have leo Jupiter in the 1st conjunct leo ascendant. A cluster of planets in the 6th and Chiron in the 12th, completes with mars in the 10th. Sweet heaven.


You know, what you said about back when everything still felt carefree? It is how I feel as well, about life, relationships with people, everything. It seems that the general idea now is to live fast and die hard. People burn through relationships so fast and there is pressure to “get things done”. 24 hours a day really aren’t enough. Work for 8 hours, sleep for 8 hours, we only have 8 hours left to fit everything and everyone in our lives in. Sometimes I wonder if that is why some people don’t seem to be interested to get to know others on a more personal level. There is probably isn’t enough time, so a lot of human contacts and relationships only remain “on the surface”.


I haven’t been in this city long enough to know about the life and culture, but that’s the general feel that I’ve been getting. The same with Adelaide, Australia and my birth country really.

About my friend, lol she gets annoyed at a lot of things, so my laughter is probably just one of a million of things that get on her nerve. She will come around. If not then that’s too bad, you can’t do much once they’ve made up their mind. This song sums up how I feel. I don’t cut people off unless they’ve done some outrageous things. If they drift away I’ll just wait for them to come back. There are so many forces in this universe that bring people together and break them apart. Thinking that way ease my mind =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFlh0KAnkFg

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