posted June 03, 2014 03:49 PM            

That said, like Bella and Ceridwen, I can also see it slip back into other threads outside of that forum.

It's funny. A couple of months ago, I would have definitely said, "No! That only encourages people to fight more." But now I've heard of so many people here having some valid issues with the way the board is going or what others said, I think that board is needed. People want to say things and the endless locks - even though the mods meant well and I, too, wouldn't want things to get ugly - are making it worse. People are getting more and more irritated. And I know I said I didn't mind at the time - and I didn't, but I was really shocked how many of my threads got used to vent and continue the fight. I can think of at least 2 in Sweet Peas and then in my H&H thread as well. I guess it disappointed me to see people only post in my threads for that reason. Yeah, sorry. It's fine now, and I let it pass as everyone really needed that place to speak up. But I don't like seeing it happen again - or just look at how many of T's threads were just an endless rant back and forth. Basically.

posted June 03, 2014 03:55 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by meissieri:
By the way, thanks for mentioning me, Faith. I really appreciate it, though I bet others would think I'm too sensitive for the job.

I wouldn't mind being modded by you, but I'm afraid I'm in the minority here. ^^

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I think both of you would be great, so I guess that puts me in the minority too.

posted June 03, 2014 04:01 PM            

Things have been much worse in the past. We got through it. It's just cyclical. This time is nothing really. Just a few closed threads.

posted June 03, 2014 04:09 PM            

f someone doesn't get along with someone, they can ignore or trash the other person.

If they trash the other person enough, they will be banned. Why is this so complicated?

If people need a Mod to follow them everywhere, there is something wrong. They need social skills

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted June 03, 2014 04:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
I do agree that the next Mod of Sweet Peas should definitely have a thick skin, though (not to say that the present ones don't). The nature of the subject matter frequently ventures into sensitive areas. As such, I think Sweet Peas In The Rain is very needed.

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posted June 03, 2014 05:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MetalAphrodite:
Well, whether hosted here or somewhere else like in email or something, people should try to get out their feelings instead of bottling it up. It just tends to have a bit of a direction with a third party around, unless two adults are willing to consent that they really are committed to finding a true median between themselves, or are given to fighting.

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Well, this forum is based on an old software (Ultimate Bulletin Board Version 5.46a - which is more than a decade old), and the internet was really different back then. For one thing - the internet speed was very low around the year 2000 (maybe some of you still remember the dreadful ADSL connections - which sometimes would barely reach 3Kbs) - thus the content of the web was limited to those speeds. Most sites were very basic in terms of appearance - and even in their basic form - they'd really struggle to load a page (especially if they had some image content). 14 years have passed since then - and the internet speed has increased significantly. If you'd barely reach 3 KBs back then - this days, in US for example: http://www.netindex.com/download/2,1/United-States/ - 3440 Kbs is suppose to be the lowest and 36000 Kbs the highest (though even 1000 Kbs is more than decent for any web page). With all that speed - the internet changed, the browsers changed (most browser can be taken as graphical software - as they're quite potent at handling all kind of graphics - mainly HTML and all its capabilities - which now reached version 5.0 or plugin based graphics like Adobe's flash). Thus - forum software has changed as well. Ultimate Bulletin Board (or UBB.classic) - had it hard even back then cause of competition (even free software) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UBB.classic - yet, i see they kept trying to keep up in their own way while discontinuing Ultimate Bulletin Board/UBB.Classic (their last version was 7.5.5 - released in Dec 2012) and moving to http://www.ubbcentral.com/ - which reached version 7.5.8. Linda-goodman.com - is still running on version 5.46a (the one from around 2000), which again - was among the first forum versions - in a time when there wasn't much room for graphical interfaces (cause of the low internet speeds). But with time passing, as the speed got better - they started moving to basic graphic interfaces - starting with an Avatar (gave users the options to represent themselves through some image) - and a graphic tab for page formatting and extra reply options - which can be accessed through that interfaces (instead of tipping codes like [url] [/url] ... [img] ...[/img] and so on) - which obviously simplified the experiences.

But even more than that, they also looked for ways to improve users experience in relation to other forum members. Since it's quite normal - for people "to be different" even on different levels - and on a forum with public access... there's a high possibility for user - who can't stand each-other. Thus, they introduced a feature which allows a member to ignore the users they can't stand for some reason, which - improves the experience of both parties - as they won't have to see each-other. An option that let's you shape the community (the users - with whom you'd wish to interact) to your liking. An here's a demo:

Let's say i don't like killer_rubber_ducky - for some reason:

- i add him to my ignore list:

- and I'm free of his vibe:

Problem solved - and there was no need for moderation (which let's face it - moderation can't solve such problems anyway - it just "pauses" them for awhile).

posted June 03, 2014 05:03 PM            

BTW, does somebody know - why isn't privacy allowed in this place (unless you're a moderator)? It just doesn't make any sense. I mean, let's say - you'd wanna discus with a user some private matters... stuff you're not whiling to share in a public place... so how am i suppose to do that without a PM option or at least a mail address - which can be accessed through my profile? I've been on all kinds of forums in past 10 years - but i never heard this before (well all of them had a PM option - i never seen a forum without this option before).

I'm not a fan of Facebook and definitely not one of those egocentric users - with hundreds (even more than a thousand) of people in their so called friend list - looking for ego stroking - through Likes and stuff like that. What if my Facebook is just for family members? Am i suppose to share that info with the entire public community? O_o Some of you might be crazy - in a psycho way. I've already heard this story... of some members from here - who got in the mix with some psychos who still hunt them. -_-

posted June 03, 2014 05:22 PM            

But I can also see how that could potentially just leave more room for open trash-talking by two members, if that makes sense?

If they can't see what the other person is saying about them (when there's already a long-standing issue between them), then it seems like that would just leave the door wide open to say whatever (although it's not like that doesn't happen anyway, often enough).

posted June 03, 2014 05:36 PM            

I'm not a fan of Facebook and definitely not one of those egocentric users - with hundreds (even more than a thousand) of people in their so called friend list - looking for ego stroking - through Likes and stuff like that. What if my Facebook is just for family members? Am i suppose to share that info with the entire public community? O_o Some of you might be crazy - in a psycho way. I've already heard this story... of some members from here - who got in the mix with some psychos who still hunt them. -_

FB provides private chat options very well. There are other Live chat venues, too such as Windows.

I am sure that if you wanted to, you could figure out a way to PM people without too much trouble.

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted June 03, 2014 05:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
What would happen with such a Forum is the same thing that happened when we had a private Mod Forum. People thought Mods were talking about them, and it created disunity and divisiveness. Plus, people would likely copy and paste what was said in private in said Forum, to share with their friends, which is human nature, and they would share, and so on and so on. It would be a nightmare.

Things have been much worse in the past. We got through it. It's just cyclical. This time is nothing really. Just a few closed threads.

Having a "Mediation" type of Forum for minor disputes would be feasible; however, we still have the issue of people likely sharing the posts in there with others, especially if othes are mentioned. It would just fuel more bad feelngs and conflict.

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I meant that all of the people involved, would be given access. Nobody would be able to do that.

posted June 03, 2014 05:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by 7thGuardian:
Double post... which is another technical issue related to old settings (intended for the old speeds). Longs posts seem to choke - even with current time speeds. Sometimes its takes couple of minutes to submit a post - and gets posted 2 times.

BTW, does somebody know - [b]why isn't privacy allowed in this place (unless you're a moderator)? It just doesn't make any sense. I mean, let's say - you'd wanna discus with a user some private matters... stuff you're not whiling to share in a public place... so how am i suppose to do that without a PM option or at least a mail address - which can be accessed through my profile? I've been on all kinds of forums in past 10 years - but i never heard this before (well all of them had a PM option - i never seen a forum without this option before).

I'm not a fan of Facebook and definitely not one of those egocentric users - with hundreds (even more than a thousand) of people in their so called friend list - looking for ego stroking - through Likes and stuff like that. What if my Facebook is just for family members? Am i suppose to share that info with the entire public community? O_o Some of you might be crazy - in a psycho way. I've already heard this story... of some members from here - who got in the mix with some psychos who still hunt them. -_-

[/B]

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I agree with this. I understand that there is the concern that people will privately 'trash talk' someone, but I would rather see this than outwardly seeing people go at each other. At least being able to exchange emails, this is a great way to get to know people and communicate private thoughts you don't feel comfortable sharing in public. This is the only site I know of that doesn't have this feature.

posted June 03, 2014 05:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
I've pondered the concept of occasionally wishing I could "block" people on here, like you can on Facebook... I've only had that thought a couple of times, but it has crossed my mind.

But I can also see how that could potentially just leave more room for open trash-talking by two members, if that makes sense?

If they can't see what the other person is saying about them (when there's already a long-standing issue between them), then it seems like that would just leave the door wide open to say whatever (although it's not like that doesn't happen anyway, often enough).

Eh...just my two cents, since I've thought about that before as well.

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posted June 03, 2014 05:52 PM            

I might be mistaken in thinking that's the case, but it seems like it's been mentioned.

But I know it can be frustrating to want to have a private conversation with someone, and not have the ability to do so.

posted June 03, 2014 05:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
From what I can gather, it's the private trash talking that causes a lot of the personality conflicts here to actually become worse, and then people still go at each other in the forum.

I might be mistaken in thinking that's the case, but it seems like it's been mentioned.

But I know it can be frustrating to want to have a private conversation with someone, and not have the ability to do so.

But...people come here with problems, often enough. I can understand why it might be best if private conversations take place in Hearth and Home, honestly.

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posted June 03, 2014 05:55 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by 7thGuardian:
If i block someone - that means "i don't care what they have to say". Some people are simply unreasonable - and would be really nice if i couldn't witness their lack of reason.

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Yeah, I definitely hear you on that one.

...I'm not suggesting that I think it's a good idea for this site, or that I feel that way about members here. I've experienced that on Facebook, and not that often anymore.

If someone bothers me, I side-step their posts rather deftly at this point in my life.

Easier to do than in real life, I might add.

posted June 03, 2014 07:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
The PM function is often turned off with larger boards, because it encourages gossip.

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Give me some examples of big forums that are public worldwide (no religious forums - for obvious reasons... i've never joined one and never will -_-)" - where PM is disabled - for any reason whatsoever. Here - just 3 of the biggest boards from the ones where I've been active for quite some time (they're IT/Tech/Software forums):

http://forum.softpedia.com/ 1546 users are online (in the past 15 minutes) - 249 members, 1249 guests, 48 anonymous users
http://www.neowin.net/forum/ - 11131 users are online (in the past 60 minutes)
http://www.head-fi.org/f/ Currently, there are 3131 Active Users (650 Members and 2481 Guests)

I used to be a hardcore tech geek and for a long time (more than a decade) - and the internet was a main domain of activity (also work related). It's one of the things - i know to well even without trying - i've been to much around it. I have 50+ others boards in my bookmark list (though - i haven't been that active on all) - and i don't remember witnessing such issues (PM optioned being turned-off for some reason). What users talks in private - that's their business and their business alone (whatever they might be talking about). If one of them shares what was said in private - in a public place - that user is automatically regarded as a big jerk by most members of that community (as somebody who can't be trusted) - doesn't matter what he/she had to say: Privacy is privacy! That's why It's called privacy. Divulging private talks - it's also something that many forum moderators could take as a good reason for ban. You live in the USA - a place where privacy is suppose to be very important. Or are you constantly watched - and only allowed to talk in public? Even in North Korea there's room for privacy - and those people are supposedly suppressed from this point of view.

Or did i miss something: is privacy not important in USA anymore - are you guys not allowed to have private talks? Maybe if you work is CIA - you're not allowed to talk with those from a lower level (i suppose - i don't know...) - but is in the same for any other citizen? In your neighborhood - do you guys gather in public all the time? Are you forbid to talk with your neighbors - cause of gossip? O_o What about the work place? Unless is some agency with lots of secrets - in a normal work place, are you guys not allowed to have a coffee brake and discuss stuff with your work colleagues? Gossip usually happens in all those places - especially at work place. That's normal - human to say the least. Most of the forums - i've been member so far, are from USA - though, i haven't been active on most of them in past 2 year - so did USA changed that much? Is Obama some kind of dictator - who keeps you all under watch and under threats? O_o There's nothing like that in the media - at least... so i don't know - to me - it doesn't make any sense.

posted June 03, 2014 07:05 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Members are going to have disagreements. The problem is when Mods attack one another. This will no longer be allowed.

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