posted June 04, 2014 06:25 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Violets:
7th Guardian, people often come here with serious personal issues, and are not always capable of conducting themselves appropriately.

It's also a very tight-knit community, obviously. So it could be quite damaging, I would imagine, if someone's personal information were divulged publicly here.

From what I can gather (I'm repeating myself, I'm aware), there have been some significant issues in the past here with people messaging each other, and apparently creating even more drama than would normally be present.

Thus I can fully comprehend why Randall has chosen not to utilize the personal messaging option.

I have no idea what took place, and in all honesty I absolutely have no investment in knowing about it.

Obviously, I can't speak for Randall.
But I've had these thoughts already, and these are the conclusions I've come to.

---

I had my share of experience with lots of other forums (after more than a decade), but also with what I've witnessed here since i joined this community - and what you mentioned above - doesn't add-up (it's even a bit disturbing - to be honest - "but in a different context", since that type of fear - it's what could support microchip implants in humans... a world where everybody's being monitored "for their own good/safety... cause the government knows better what's best for all of us" - though, that's not what this is about - obviously... ^^ - just a random thought - that came into my mind after reading above statement). And if you've been watching, you can't deny that - this place had its share of dramas... even the kind - I haven't seen in other places, like - what happened with some of the Mods from this place (running amok among each-other - or the way they used their administrative options - for their personal interests) - that was new to me. This is the first place - where I've seen a topic getting looked because of a Mod fighting with another - or because of disagreements with other members (to be fair - "things seem quiet right now"). Come to think of it - I've never seen the Lock option being used in such way. Was usually used:
- for closing sticky topics intended as a permanent notices - like a topic covering the forum rules.
- for closing clone topics (same subject being discussed in more places)
- for closing dead topics (a topic long dead - with conversations that don't make much sense now) but which were revived by some user
- for closing topics that can be deemed as insulting to a minority (racist, misogynist, anti-gay and so on) - or another member.
As for Private Messages/Talks - that's just a social option that's quite common (even human) in any type of place - where humans have the possibility to interact with each-other. This was possible even in the worst places - like the Nazi concentration camps or among slaves and let's face it - those people could riot against there suppressors cause of that (some did - some escaped that way). In my opinion - it's kinda inhuman to deny people their privacy in a social environment... i mean, it's not like we can all be public - when it comes to our private lives, our private thoughts - and interests, even the kind that are deemed tabu around this place (our sexuality for example) - yet we might have that in common with a member... but even more than that - it's very hard to form a private bond with someone that might share some mutual interests or something like that... and that's probbaly the coldest (most inhuman) part. And yes - among other things they chose to talk about, some might even gossip about others. So? That's quite natural/human - sometimes people talk about other people - be it their boss, the colleague, the wife, the brother, the mother, the priest, the mailman, the president and so on... Since when in the history of humanity - people talk about others only in their presence?! This forum is full of topics - revolving around a boyfriend, their mother, their father, their boss and so on... and they don't know about it. I presume - they'd be really upset if they found out - but "that's why their called private talks (even though - in this context their public - yet some of the user in question - count on the option to edit a topic and remove its content)".

I've been on all kinds of forums and it's true that most of them were IT related (as that was a long time passion) - but I've also been even a forum that's like Sweat Peas alone x 1000 (more disturbing), a psychology forum - as in: http://www.psychforums.com/forum.html

Cutting and Self Injury Forum
Grief and Loss Forum
Bullying Forum
Child Abuse Forum
Domestic Violence
Sexual Abuse and Incest Forum
Asperger's Syndrome Forum
Tourette's Syndrome Forum
Dementia Forum
Delirium Forum
Compulsive Lying Forum
Bipolar Disorder Forum
Gender Identity Disorder Forum

...and so on. How's that for "serious personal issues - and... people with fragile personalities"? And yes - it has a PM option, i don't know any other forum that has this function disabled.

When it comes to harassment - or any type of abuse on PM - that's treated in same way as if it would happen in a public section of a forum. You attention a Moderator about it - by forwarding that message to a Mod/Admin - and they can deal with it accordingly. There's a saying: "choose your friends wisely" - so if you got involved with some jerk that turns your private talks into a personal vendetta - that has nothing to do with the way you got in contact with him (you can meet him in any place) - but with the fact that guy is a sick jerk and on a forum, there's a high chance you'd get the support of the community - while he gets the highway (divulging private matters in a public place - it's considered a very serious offense). Some PM option - even come with "user block option" same as an e-mail service.

A knife wasn't mean for stabbing people - but some people use it in such way. The knife is obviously not the issue... but some could look at it - as if it is: "if there wouldn't be knifes - people would get stabbed with them..." To some... that might actually make sense - while to others... that sounds disturbing. O_O

If you treat adults like children - if you try to take away from them "a basic freedom they earned - on their path to adulthood (well, at least - they're at that age - when one is supposed to be an adult)" - drama is sure to follow. That's a common issue (a cause for drama) in families where parents still talk down to their "adult" children - as if they can't deal with their issues as adults - and they know better(cause they're the parents). Now imagine others (your boss, a club manager, your government) treating you the same way (like they knows what's best for you).

I hope i didn't sound to harsh - i don't know how else to put it, but - that's my thought on this.

posted June 04, 2014 06:25 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
IT Forums probably have few arguments. I mean, come on.

Another issue with PM is harassment and SPAM. But the main issue is the talking about others behind their backs. We've already seen it happen.

---

On the contrary - there's more rivalry in IT than in Game of Thrones. Astrology is a small child compared to the IT from this point of view.

Just so you get and idea, we have:

- Macintosh/Apple zealots (fanatics) bashing Windows/PC and and the other way around.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55wwBqOewpI

- Linux Zealots (fanatics) bashing Windows and the other way around...

- Open source community bashing proprietary software
- gamers bashing games
- Nvidia zealots bashing AMD (ex ATI) and the other way around..
- Intel zealots bashing AMD and the other way around...
- Dell vs HP vs Toshiba and so on...
- WD vs Seagate - and others alike...
- Logitech vs Creative and others alike...
- Nokia vs Samsung vs iPhone vs HTC and so on...
- Canon vs. Nikon
- Sony PlayStation vs Nintendo vs XBOX
- Console users vs Pc users
- Firefox vs Chrome vs Opera vs IE
- Debian Linux vs RPM Linux vs Source Linux
- Counterstrike vs Call of Duty vs Battlefield
- League of Legends vs Dota vs HoN

And that's just from the top of my head as one who left that field behind...
Almost every year - each of above brands release a new product and sometimes - debates turn into serious battles among zealots/fanatics - as each spent his money on a certain product which he finds superior for some reason (better software, better overclocking potential, better hardware and so on...).

As for the rest - I've tried to answer that part to Violets.

posted June 04, 2014 06:28 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
Not trite at all, thanks. :)

I'm just glad it was understood as humor, a few on LL can find it really hard to understand my (often gallows) humor and take me completely serious no matter how over the top absurd I'm being.

---

posted June 04, 2014 07:16 PM            

Those Boards you listed appear to be created for conflict. That's where you seem to not get the difference. I prefer as little contention as possible here. So, that's why contentious threads are locked. I'm sorry that you don't seem to get that. You can't compare LL to any other community. I created the organizational culture here for what I feel supports LL's mission. How you can equate no PM function with microchip implanting is ludicrous.

And maybe it's just your way of communicating, but you definitely come off as very brash, abrasive, and condescending in your online tone. Just saying.

And trust me, there will always be plenty of gossip behind the scenes (on other sites, on other sites' PM functions, on Facebook, etc.). It's human nature. But that doesn't mean I have to condone it, endorse it, or give the stamp of approval for it on LL and/or provide the venue for it.

posted June 04, 2014 07:31 PM            

Are you okay with me doing this at my discretion?

posted June 04, 2014 08:13 PM            

And I say that tho I believe any offboard communication lends itself to gossip and Chinese telephones, and having seen more than one such offline convoys become the source of accusations of betrayal.

That leaves the minors in a tricky place though, as their parents might not like them being exposed to private convoys with online acquaintances...

Tricky situation. But bringing third parties, "even" mods, into the equation makes it even trickier.

I had a msg passed to me on FB by someone I don't know saying it was from someone I do know but decided I shouldn't talk to off here (for reasons way too complex to explain). Tho I would have liked to reply the same reasons came up for me...how did I know the messenger was whom they claimed to be and not just someone stirring it?

If someone asks a mod for MY address I would prefer the mod give me the asker's and give me the option to connect or not.

posted June 04, 2014 08:18 PM            

I work for him, it's his decision.

posted June 04, 2014 08:23 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ellynlvx:
Randall is the WebMaster.

I work for him, it's his decision.

No one elses.

---

Amen, E!

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted June 04, 2014 08:28 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Catalina:

If someone asks a mod for MY address I would prefer the mod give me the asker's and give me the option to connect or not.

Does that sound reasonable?

---

posted June 04, 2014 08:30 PM            

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted June 04, 2014 08:31 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
There is a lot of bad history related to venemous gossip behind the scenes here.

---

posted June 04, 2014 08:36 PM            

If people want to talk so much, they can find a way with FB or Windows etc It is not like LL is their only way to get to that end. It is very easy to do for someone who has the desire.

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted June 04, 2014 08:45 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
Getting this back on topic, I do think this Forum needs some masculine energy. A male Mod might be a good idea to balance it out.

---

So you'll do it?

posted June 04, 2014 08:47 PM            

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.