posted January 07, 2006 10:57 AM              

He's a Taurus mooner and they don't really play games. The moon in taurus is exalted too. What I mean is that if you really were the problem, he would've told you straight up-no qualms. I think for all us earth mooners (especially taurus) it's pretty much black and white.

posted January 07, 2006 12:34 PM              

All people want to be loved in their own way, and the best relationships accomodate this and reciprocate.

If one partner insists on the energy being only to their particular liking and ignoring the needed expression by their mate it is one-sided and selfish.

That is a universal truth, not about any one sign. I should have been more clear.

I think in this case making someone feel needy and clingy was a bit low, especially as I'm sure we could all anticipate this Cancer would have been if the tables had been turned. Seems very unfair on Celtic in my opinion.

Hope I didn't offend you inadvertently my friend.

posted January 07, 2006 05:53 PM              

One thing I think you have not looked at is his pride. He is very proud of how far he has come, taking care of his girls, avoiding obstacles, rebuilding his life. To give his heart to someone new, is so scary and if he loses he loses everything all over again.

Pride is not a good thing after time, but he has to work through it, be ready to lose it.

What he said about not wanting to waste your time, etc, that's a copout, he didn't KNOW what to say because he is afraid of losing, and afraid of living a different kind of life where he is possibly put down again. It seems he needs to build his self esteem anyway, and romantic relationships don't help that. Romance is about the other.

he didn't know what to say to you, so don't over analzye his words, he is confused and needs to rest his head for a while, but don't believe everything you hear and let it reflect on you.

I was involved with a taurus moon, pisces rising for a while and he was so low on himself I thought I was helping. Actually he needed to rebuild his career, and life before he felt good about himself again and didn't know how to say it. Taurus moons I swear do not know how to communicate exactly what they are feeling and get very frustrated. When pushed they start to freak out about themselves.

i was dating a cancer/taurus moon this spring and he started interviewing at a higher paying job without telling me because he was so insecure about not making as much money as me. At no point did I care and he ended up breaking it off because I am sure he felt I was not helping him. Even though he went back to teaching, he keeps his distance, because his feelings are not obvious even to him, he is scared of my influence on him. He doesn't know that we were a team and he could have talked to me, trusted me, he felt I was the one to lean on him, trust him but he couldn't fill that role. Very frustrating.

Taurus moons are big on life skills first.

posted January 08, 2006 03:19 AM            

pride could be important . though i am not sure about celtic's crab .

i have already stated it elsewere , that status has been detrimental in my relations with the women .
i never asked the first one for marriage simply bcos i wasn't as good financially as her family (and i wasn't financially well settled , iwont ever bring a woman to my hoime if i can't fulfill her desires ). same in the second case ,here age too was a factor.

even the newest cancer crush, i dont think i am ever gonna ask her out simply bcos she is above me designation wise(again) .

having said this , i dont think its about insecurity . its only that i prefer relations on a equal level ,i know ,i wont be able to respect someone if he or she tries to dominate in any sense and in close love relations ,there are moments when things might not be as smooth as a cancer prefers ( remember, cancers always avoid confrontations ).
in any such situation , a cancers first reaction is to move apart . this is something very hard for cancers especially with loved ones .
so its more of a defensive mechanism at work rather than insecurity .

swerve: na,na(thats no,no in hindi )

dont worry you didn't upset me !

posted January 08, 2006 09:26 PM              

I have been spending that last few days when I wasn't working reading and re- reading your responses to gain better perspective. One thing Natasha said about the Taurusmoon/rising Pisces she knows sounded very familiar in my situation...He almost said those things verbatim about clearing his head, getting his life straight to feel comfortable enought to be able to open up more and have the kind of feelings he should be having with me (or anyone else for that matter)etc. It was more based around his daughter and the continual custody/child support battle issues with his ex-wife--I mean he fully expects to spend the next 6 years going to court every few months until his daughter is 18 He has accepted that as part of his life and doing what he can to prevent his ex form manipulating his daughter to want to live with her (oh and she has tried evry dispicable bribe you can think of that you can level at a 12 year old and now is using her new baby half sister as part of the bribe) when it has nothing to do with how much she cares for her daughter and everything to do with "being right and proving him wrong" This constant fighting for protection has really caused him sacrifice and he has said in the past that his daughter is worth it and I am not saying she or anyone else's child is not worth sacrifice don't get me wrong there, but he has sacrificed himself to the point of having lost some of himself because he can't feel what he should be able to feel and to me that is wrong--- not that I think he consciously set out to have that as the end result. He even said that it may take getting throught the next 6 years for him to feel free enough to be for himself he didn't know. So it seems that what you guys have been saying sounds like it fits the situation here.

posted January 09, 2006 04:33 AM              

My cancer man has an ex with a baby boy, who he adores (lovely to see ) and she uses the child as a manipulation tool ......... very sad but true.

Well to make you laugh - I don't get calls, e-mails or anything ........... for the past 3 months all I recive are pink golf balls from him via someone else.......... he knows I like pink & he was my golf instructor ............ so at least u have an explanation ......... for me I just have a heap of pink golf balls LOL LOL LOL ......... figure that one out

If u need a sympathetic ear let me know ......... cos I have the same frustrations and disappointments as u do .......... i wish my cancer man had your man's honesty!

posted January 09, 2006 11:18 AM              

where do we go from here?

posted January 09, 2006 11:55 AM            

(but both of you mystic ladies , this is not for us ,its a funda for the air people only )

posted January 09, 2006 05:58 PM              

Yeah yeah RG I know I know! I let a Pisces go --he never came back after a relationship of 15 years no less...I let a Virgo go he came back in a sense he's a good friend has a new Leo GF and is moving further away so I gotta let him go again and well, I just can't let my Crab go at least not completely..

Luvscorp- I have to see him at the fire station..I have resolved not to contact him unless it is station related business unless he contacts me that's one way I am dealing with it. Which seems totally opposite of advice that I received in the past concerning Cancers. I just don't know ...would appreciate some support there girl ..at this point I just have no answers.....I guess when in doubt about what to do about something the best course of action is to do nothing. ::::sigh::::

posted January 10, 2006 05:27 AM              

I have been told that I need to get my confidence back in myself with regards to him and start realising that I am worthy of so much more - easy to say I know - but I know it is the case - just don't know where to start ........ maybe tis the same for you. Where do u put all the love that you have for him - where does that go when it ends so abruptly? Well the simple answer is to invest it in you - in anyway you can than giving it to him. Does he really deserve what you are giving him? Maybe slowly invest your time and love in yourself and others - but ever so slowly, otherwise it will be too much for you (believe me I know )

I have been told to say this to myself whenever I think about him or get an urge to contact him -

"until such time as this situation shows substance and I start to receive what I need out of it, this man is not a part of my life! If substance is shown & things happens in a way that is acceptable to me I will start to deal with it then!

He is saying not now and u may need to do the same - it doesn't mean not ever it just means not now.

I would maybe think of moving to a different fire station or leaving all together - angel this is about you and your heart and what is best for you now. It is all about you - not him! maybe change your focus because u deserve to have the love u r giving to be reciprocated! I think maybe contact anyone else but him if u need business info. His importance will diminish in time and slowly - but it will diminish and u will feel stronger. You need your strength back.

Doing nothing with regards to him is the right answer as he has given u no option ......... and you may feel like all is lost ........... but doing loads of things for you is also the answer - maybe change the focus - put yourself in the spotlight - not him!

I think (not entirely sure) that cancerian men like to do the chasing and like to feel they r in control .......... well that will need u to take a step back, get your power back and concentrate on other things. You 2 r obviously connected & in time he will feel this pull and his actions will tell you what the truth is. If he doesn't act then u know for sure.

I am in the same boat - but my love has turned to annoyance and anger, more at myself than him .......... but I have made a choice and need to stick to it - it isn't easy but i have to do it for myself.

I am even thinking of sending the pink balls back! what do u think?

let me know how u r doing ..........you will get through this!

posted January 10, 2006 08:53 AM              

cancerg, I love what you said about wanting relations to be on an equal level. Maybe they are equal intellectually speaking first, and then physically? I am starting to believe, it can be equal if there is a meeting of the minds first.

posted January 10, 2006 12:33 PM            

quote:

---

Send them back! It will feel good:>

---

posted January 10, 2006 10:21 PM              

I hope and pray the best for you.

Although I wish I could tell you what your
future will hold... that is only a mystery.

What I would like to share are a few thoughts
that popped into my mind as I read your follow up
to your story that rang true for me in my own
life.

In times that I've wanted something *so much!*
but am not receiving what I desire...I sometimes
find that I am trying to start forcing something...
because of the fact that I want it so bad!

For me the emotions that are brought up are
ones of Fear: uncertainty, anxiety, frustration,
etc. not of Love, which ironically is what I
am wishing for.

When I'm going through this cycle or pattern
in my life, I stop and think:
What and Why am I doing this to myself?
All I am doing is making myself insane.

As famous Einstein's definition of Insanity goes:
'doing the same thing over and over
and hoping for a different result.'

It's then that I realize in the feeling
that I'm trying to force something to happen
and it just ain't workin'!
that I need: DO JUST THE OPPOSITE.

Which usually is to: Do nothing.

My Grandma's favorite line is:
'Nance...when you don't know what to do...
do nothing!'

Those are really wise words.

I believe the highest form of purity, peace
and way to truly fill Love *which is
what we are really seeking* in our heart
is to learn the art of letting go.

Here goes the part: 'Someone once said if you
love something, set it free....'

I have also realized during this process of feeling
like I'm wanting the outcome of a situation to be
a certain way and it's not producing those results
that my expectations lead to disappointment.

There is a Universal law to the flow of energy.
That of the exchange of Giving and Receiving.

In situations like this I tend to give and give
and when I give too much it creates an
unbalance in my life and I can really feel it.

In the act of letting go and doing nothing,
I then begin to focus on myself and regain
the peace inside my soul that seemed like
was lost. I learn to Give to myself first and
also in this letting go, things somehow come
back to you and you can begin to receive.

Then slowly I start to feel that Love again
in my heart.

I know it is so hard to let go...but when you
can truly and honestly do so, ultimately you
will feel such a HUGE sigh of relief ... like
you can breathe again.

I leave you with a poem . . .

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor,
coworker, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger) but when
you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will affect
your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and
unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those
obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength,
willpower, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of
luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer
stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small
tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight
flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and
utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you
experience help to create whom you become. Even the bad experiences can be
learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important
ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for
they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious
when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back
unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they
are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Make every day count! Appreciate every moment and take from those moments
everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it
again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually
listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high.

Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one can hear you. Love like you’ve never been hurt.

posted January 11, 2006 08:03 PM              

When I'm feeling sluggish I refer to this list I have. It's 100 Energy Builders and 100 Energy Drainers.

See if you can pick a few things from the Builder list and eliminate a few from the Drainer list. I hope this helps! Lots of love and warmth to you from California back East.

***100 Energy Builders***
align yourself
appreciate someone
be more accepting
be near or in water
breathe more deeply
brush your teeth
celebrate
center yourself
complete some tasks
create or appreciate art
cry
cuddle with someone or something
dance
day dream
do puzzles
do rituals
do something different
do things differently
dress up
drink more water
drive
eat
engage in sex
enjoy quality time
enjoy something pleasurable
enjoy the sunshine
exercise
fast
forgive someone
gardening
get hair or nails done
give to a charity
go shopping
go to a show
ground yourself
have a massage
have a relaxing meal
hold hands with someone
hug
hug a tree
journal
laugh
learn new things
light candles
listen to or play music
make love
meditate
play
play with pets
pray
read
relax
receive compliments
reorganize
retreat
say ‘I Love you’
shower
sing
swim
take a holiday
take a nature walk
take time for yourself
take vitamins
use your hands
visit a friend
walk barefoot
write a self appreciation list

posted January 29, 2006 04:02 PM              

Am I being an idiot or could there be some validation for these feelings????

posted January 29, 2006 05:12 PM              

How are you doing? What's the update on your story...? I'm sure it's not over but what have you been feeling?

I hope you are filled with more positive energy lately.

posted January 29, 2006 05:43 PM              

How goes it with you and your crab?