posted November 08, 2005 09:21 AM            

quote:

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Are Cancers the "abscence may the heart grow fonder" types they don't strike me as such but I don't really know.

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nope . i am sure they are not.
well they do need a bit of space once in a while (infact i like sitting a my room all alone for some time everyday , i need complete silence , that works as a rejuvenating therapy ) .
but if u think , he 'll start running after u if doesn't see u . may be initially but even that effort wont be big enough ( the way it is for others ) remeber , they dislike running after anyone . its not that , he wont regret his loss , he would definitely do but they have a kind of self containment .
the best is , give him space but let him see your face once in a while ( may be once in a week atleast ) so that he knows u are there . its very very important .
i feel this was what natasha meant by small talks in her small post after the record breaking post.

posted November 08, 2005 11:25 AM              

At this point Celtic, I have a Cancer friend too and he is maddening, calls and calls and then when I call back is never around, no earth in his chart at all.

At this point I would confront your guy and ask him point blank what's going on?

Is there something he's not telling you? Is there something wrong with him?
Is he sick with something contagious?
You have always been honest with him, now you would appreciate a straight answer to a straight question, why hasn't he called you back, and more importantly, what is the point of his distance?

What is he trying to accomplish in his life right now, because he needs to be honest so you are not left hanging.

And you are left hanging-he needs to know that. So call, or confront and you know he will walk away right away because it's not what he wants right now, but ask him that question, what is it he can't face? Say tell me now, spit it and out and get it over with already, and he will.

Of course that takes some sort of determination on your part that if he says he wants space you have to give it to him or not, but at least you know where you stand. It may really clear the air for him, as Cancers do not usually blow people off forever UNLESS they have imagined some slight and made it bigger in their head.

In my friends case, he has a Venus in Gemini, Leo Moon and very sensitive-but it's been a year and he blows me off, I call him on it, and vice versa and he comes back eventually and lets me hang out with him. Terrible on the phone like most men, bad at calling back, returning emails, all of that, but good when I pin him down on a time and place to hang out. I dont' call it a date, even way back, because he would act differently, more sensitive.

We are, amazingly enough, hanging out this weekend, but anything could happen in the meantime and we will be with his son-not exactly all his time-but next weekend will be more equal-being a Cancer he absolutely will not drive to see me being sensitive and fussy about leaving home, or his home base, he won't even travel unless it's by car-his shell. No planes or trains for him.

So it's moody company, but it's all about little highs, little lows I guess.

It would be nice to meet some men with earth in their chart, but they are even more sensitive and suspicious.

Cancers are so open it's hurtful sometimes, but they are not diplomatic. It's a good thing, personally cancers, sags, libras, are all pretty sweet as men go, but sweet is not pushy, they balance out more pushy people. When I am sick of having to chase I spend more time at work. And to be really honest I seek out Virgo men around to balance things out or I would go crazy.

posted November 09, 2005 10:25 AM              

If he needs to get his head together, then don't avoid him, but let him know you are still a we in your head. Don't date anyone else, but don't be jealous of those comments even though you are angry about them. I agree it's better to have an open enemy-whoever those people are they will show themselves in time.

Your guy will have to learn to stand up for himself on his own, all you can do is give encouragement-it sounds like he needs that more than a g/f. Well, I mentioned that my pisces rising guy needed full support, that is more of a mother than a g/f. He never liked romance, instead he was very childlike and expected me to support him, and protect him from "bad people" He was always telling me what someone said about him, and me.

I took it personally too, but it was a perception of himself-he didn't feel good about himself sometimes and blew what others said out of proportion. Everytime he was unsure of me he would say Kevin, Mom, or someone said this about you-actually he was asking about me because he was confused about his own goals.

Eventually he will come back to you, but he may not come back as a lover but a friend who needs help, and he will feel stronger helping you in some way. Be ready to ask his advice about something other than the relationship-like a squeaky door-and encourage him in work and life but don't mention the romantic side of you again.

In other words act more like a guy friend, that looks and smells good and he will notice you again.

he will not go with someone else if you are still there, but his personality will never be that strong. The mutable ascendants are not that strong willed-my ex has gemini and he needs someone to plan everything, I have Sag rising and need structure, Virgo needs communication.

This may seem out of my head but having studied and lived with a pisces rising for a while, I found that he needed more than he gave, and I had to accept it. learning how to live with a man who is not that strong is a challenge, it would be the same if he lived with you, everyday lost in his head about the relationship.

You get a connection but not the support. It's a tradeoff.

posted November 10, 2005 12:52 AM              

Yes, be his friends and drop romance, be friendly and polite and open to talking about him. Let him know you are not into deep discussions right now but you are his friend, and that you two are cool. Be his best friend and give encouragement and praise.

It's kind of like as if he gets the urge to act like a double cancer all of a sudden, and goes with it. Romance can be very confusing for Cancers.

Plus men imagine rejection as the worst, so he would avoid rejecting you physically as much as possible (by ignoring confrontation)

Most likely he can't say not tonight I have a headache, because he thinks it would hurt your feelings, and because of pride. So he would just avoid you.

For some reason water men have trouble being just friends with women, they tend to drop off the planet, they need a lot of encouragement for that kind of switch. I can do it all the time, but he may imagine you are getting the cold shoulder and want a big romance now and so will leave him as a friend. If you are his friend with no romance, it will suit his conservative outlook.

Cancers are a bit stuffy and traditional when it comes to relationships, and so obsess over their role, and responsibility too much.

My Cancer guy is already saying to me when ski season comes he will of course be responsible for buying me anything I need, when in fact he doesn't want to be at all. I don't know why he says that and I call him on it, since he wants just friends right now he has forgotten that and started acting like big protector. I offered to pay and he got offended, but when I am with him and I offer to pay he is happy!

It's sort of confusing! Anyway I am just going to stay his friend, crabby or not and hold on to that. It's better to stay friends for a while and keep the connection. Cancers can be lifelong friends.

posted November 11, 2005 02:09 PM            

*huge hugs* I really do empathize with how you must be feeling right now. Loving someone and feeling like it’s not returned (with the same intensity as it is offered) is one of the worst feelings in the world. It makes you question the fairness of fate. The thing I’ve realized though is that fate is so big we often aren’t big enough to understand it. In moments when it feels like I’ve been cheated, I always try to remember that there are larger forces at work than myself. I try to trust that all things that happen do so for a reason. Perhaps in your case, this time of trial is strengthening your ties with your Cancer man, perhaps its here to direct you towards something better. Take courage in knowing you have done everything you could, and have faith that fate, and karma will richly reward you. Hold onto hope.

Natasha gives such wonderful advice. I’m not sure what is going on with your man right now, he seems so very confused. Perhaps these wacky Taurus transits are doing a number on him. But I agree that your best possible course right now is to take a step back and truly trying to be a friends with him. I had a suitor a while back that did this for me during a time that I was very confused and it touched me so much I almost cried. Very few people are big enough to put aside their own feelings and try to be what someone else needs. It requires so much selflessness. Your man should instinctively know how much courage it takes for you to be his friend, and he should also be aware of how unfair it is that you should have to assume such a role. He’ll be suspicious at first, but your sacrifice should touch his heart in a deep and profound way. It may very well shake down that wall he has protecting his spirit right now.

Most importantly though, dear Celtic, take care of yourself. It’s so important to me that you know that you deserve better than this treatment. I’m not casting any blame on your man – I know he’s a beautiful, profoundly hurt person – however you deserve someone that sees how amazing you are, adores you, and wants you exclusively. Follow your heart with your Cancer, but keep in mind that he might not be ready or able to take care of someone with your depth of spiritual maturity. If the time comes when your heart tells you to go, then listen and gently close this chapter of your life, knowing there are so many more beautiful chapters to come.

posted November 11, 2005 02:22 PM            

and celtic, my personal feeling , age doesn't have to do anything with love . what u did was right , what u are doing is right .simple.

posted November 16, 2005 10:54 AM            

quote:

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will wonders never cease.?

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NO,they wont !

posted November 16, 2005 11:55 AM              

I saw him last nite at the station and we chatted a few minutes before my chief drug me away (damn him..lol) as I could tell the tension and awkwardness that was so thick between us previously was gone. and I didn't get to say goodbye, see ya later or what as i was ushered away but progress in baby steps baby steps

posted November 17, 2005 01:35 PM            

hope lord ganesha has heard my prayer (for the first time , he never heard mine whenever i asked him for myself lololol...)

posted November 20, 2005 01:18 PM              

this has been a strange turn of events--perhaps unseen forces at work I don't know. Well, my Crab needed me yesterday. I was at the station yesterday for drivers training the person who set it up wasn't there so I stayed to do it with soemone else when they were available. My Crab had duty that day as well but had to work too so he was just responding in for calls, well we got one but it was over as soon as it had begun, but he came in too late..he did n't look well looked more tired than anything but he was getting off later and would be back...meantime we all went to dinner I got forgotten so I had to bring my own car up to the restaurant. while we we waiting my Crab called our officer for us to come "check him out" cuz he was having pain so we show up at his house and we transport him to the ER. I had planned to stay with him and he was agreeing to that but he felt bad he interuppted our dinner so we went back to the restaraunt and I came back afterward and stayed with him until he was discharged and took him home and stayed with him all night since i was worried about him...It turns out it is his gallbaldder and he needs surgery he is trying to find out how soon it needs to come out they wanted to admit him last night but he wasn't having it unless it needed to come out last night which obviously it didn't so I got to give him plenty of TLC So strange how things work , Eh? not that I would wish him any harm what so ever just weird how this all worked out...there wer other coicidences to the day that if thing didn'thappen a certain way I wouldn't have been in the position to be there the way I was, just too much detail to go into here. I offered to stay with him today , but he just wanted to lay low and chill so I said okay and give him his space but he knows to call if needed and agreed to do that and not be stubbborn or worried that he was imposing he going to call me tomarrow to let me know how it goes with the doctor. Funny thing I have again seen how much alike we are we have the same personality when it comes to being sick and we both have the same high tolerance for pain...I swear I have met the male version of me!!! I am firmly convinced he is my twin soul now...no doubt.