posted January 05, 2015 10:27 PM            

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Originally posted by Violets:
I just don't feel the need to tell people what I think a lot of the time (if I disagree with them) unless they've really irritated me somehow. Otherwise, I just sort of pass by whatever it is they're saying and move on to something else.

When I'm in my own home though, I'm slightly more outspoken about my beliefs when I disagree with someone (I think it's that Mars square Uranus/IC in my natal).

Also, when it comes to my son and his well-being I'm way more sharp-tongued, with teachers or other family members, etc.

So...I suppose I just don't feel the need to "be honest" when offering my opinion will probably lead to an argument. I'm not that awesome when an argument gets heated (which it usually will if someone insists on disagreeing with me when they don't actually know what they're talking about--or at least know less than I do, or we're both just set in our beliefs and there's no point--and drag an argument/debate out after I've tried to disengage).

So...there's that to take into consideration.

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posted January 05, 2015 10:37 PM            

I would rather not like a truthful answer than feel happy with a lie, or something sugar coated. Barf.

I'm with ya on that type of thing, yeah.

I mean, I rarely ask people for their opinions, but when I do (and it's someone I'm close to) I want the stone cold truth.

posted January 05, 2015 10:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
Uhm...I got ESFP??

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So, second test (this one was easier to answer) I got ESFJ.

posted January 05, 2015 10:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
I read something about this in a description of one of my natal aspects, I think (it might have been my Venus opposite Pluto, or Venus quincunx Moon). It said that I tend to section areas of my life off from each other, and that's completely true.

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I section them off, too ~ this is about second decan Capricorn, though (more or less):

quote:

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Many come to lead three quite separate and mutually exclusive lives: their work life, their social life and their intimate personal life. They may have no interest in integrating these areas, and, indeed, it is often unnecessary for them to do so.

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posted January 05, 2015 10:51 PM            

You Just Don't Understand

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THE KEY IS UNDERSTANDING

If adults learn their ways of speaking as children growing up in separate social worlds of peers, then conversation between
women and men is cross-cultural communication. Although each style is valid on its own terms, misunderstandings arise because the styles are different. Taking a cross-cultural approach to male-female
conversations makes it possible to explain why dissatisfactions are justified without accusing anyone of being wrong or crazy. Learning about style differences won't make them go away, but it can banish mutual mystification and blame. Being able to understand why our partners, friends, and even strangers behave the way they do is a
comfort, even if we still don't see things the same way. It makes the world into more familiar territory. And having others understand why we talk and act as we do protects us from the pain of their puzzlement and criticism.

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posted January 05, 2015 10:54 PM            

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:
The description is super accurate in a creepy kind of way.

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posted January 05, 2015 11:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:

I behave about the same in all areas but, for example, when the question is, "Do you need to be alone to recover after a party?" and I'm answering on a sliding scale, it will always depend on who was at the party and what happened there.

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It's interesting, because I'm pretty different in all areas.
I'm a workaholic at work, but I'm pretty lazy about domestic stuff (as in, I really do not like being domestic, but I enjoy interacting with my son and teaching him).

When I'm around people who are as idiosyncratic as I am, I'm pretty outgoing and happy.
When I'm around people who strike me as very "normal", I'm pretty reserved, and careful about what I say.

posted January 05, 2015 11:05 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Faith,
Alot of people think being honest=rude but you can be honest with people without being rude and hurting their feelings. I'm pretty good at striking that balance, unfortunately most people can't do it or they won't do it.

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There are so many different situations to take into account. I mean, we've had this conversation before, where you were trying to understand why women can be so annoyingly equivocal when you are trying to figure out if they would like to go on a date.

That's a totally different situation than facing a landlord when the rent is overdue.

However, as I've told you before, but I don't think you've ever taken me seriously: I think you have to take simple fear into account. Women tend to be afraid of men in a way you do not understand...because we are smaller. So a woman you don't know very well may not give you a straight "NO" to a date proposal because she wonders if you will punch her for saying that.

Sounds irrational and it IS rooted in some paranoia I guess. Other women may disagree with me but this is how I see it, partly because this is what's determined some of my waffling in the past ("Is he going to push me around if I don't give him the answer he wants?")

This is probably wank.

posted January 05, 2015 11:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
When I'm around people who strike me as very "normal", I'm pretty reserved, and careful about what I say.

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posted January 05, 2015 11:12 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Faith,
You can't understand us because you don't have all this testosterone pumping through your system.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uQu9r20eZPE

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LOL...love the 80's!

posted January 05, 2015 11:13 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
There are so many different situations to take into account. I mean, we've had this conversation before, where you were trying to understand why women can be so annoyingly equivocal when you are trying to figure out if they would like to go on a date.

That's a totally different situation than facing a landlord when the rent is overdue.

However, as I've told you before, but I don't think you've ever taken me seriously: I think you have to take simple fear into account. Women tend to be afraid of men in a way you do not understand...because we are smaller. So a woman you don't know very well may not give you a straight "NO" to a date proposal because she wonders if you will punch her for saying that.

Sounds irrational and it IS rooted in some paranoia I guess. Other women may disagree with me but this is how I see it, partly because this is what's determined some of my waffling in the past ("Is he going to push me around if I don't give him the answer he wants?")

This is probably wank.

Oh well. It bothers me that I can't get this across and it annoys me to be "the weaker sex," anyway.

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posted January 05, 2015 11:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
LOL...love the 80's!

Bruce Lee could kick his a$$ btw.

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posted January 05, 2015 11:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I can be talkative but I hate smalltalk.

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I don't mind smalltalk so much, depending on how clever and honest the smalltalk is.

But there has to be a kernel of something REAL to it.
Although I've been known to chat with people while they ring me up at the store or whatever. I'm pretty happy and outgoing around strangers, but then I like to go home and have my privacy.

I've recently realized that there aren't many people (if any) who really know me on all levels, like truly know me.

I let some religious kids come into our house once when they knocked on our door, because it was pouring rain outside and I felt bad for them.
I knew that even though I was undoubtedly not going to agree with their belief system, they really believed in it, and they were just acting on their beliefs. So I let them give us their spiel.

We had a pleasant, philosophical discussion about religion and God and all that, and then when they left, my husband was like "WTF?!" Like I was so polite with them while disagreeing that it blew his mind, hahahaha.

Mostly he sees me get pretty sharp with people when they start shoving their opinions or beliefs at me, so...I guess even he didn't know how much leeway I can give people, under the right circumstances.

posted January 05, 2015 11:18 PM            

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:
This thread should come with a Wankery Alarm so that in the case wank comes out, an alarm goes off and we all are spared.

Lol.

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posted January 05, 2015 11:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

I am not just talking about that, i'm talking about life in general.I think it's always better to face things head on instead of trying to sweep things under the rug.

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Well that's cool.

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
In the long run people are only going to cause more problems for themselves by doing this than they would if they would be honest in the first place. I'm not sure why people can't seem to grasp that. And yes I think this does apply to what you just brought up.

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I agree about honesty...and don't know what specifically you are talking about when you say, "people can't seem to grasp that." That's a vague comment...I don't follow.

As for the dating example, I think women expect men to understand signals, and it's not too much to ask, as some men read those signals pretty well, at least where getting a date is concerned. To just say, "You're a coward, not worth my time," to every shy girl you encounter blacklists shy women from your dating future and shifts the blame to a whole class of women for a problem you could remedy yourself (by learning some basic cues.)

*pulls the wank alarm*

posted January 05, 2015 11:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:

I've recently realized that there aren't many people (if any) who really know me on all levels, like truly know me.

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posted January 05, 2015 11:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
As far as Bruce Lee goes, that is debatable. The reason I say this is because I have a friend who is a blackbelt and I still kick his a** when we rough house because i'm significantly bigger and stronger than he is. Those fancy moves of his don't help him when he is 5'8 and weighs 145 pounds soaking weight and i'm 6'4 and 200+ plus. And Hulk Hogan weighed over 300 and was a freak back then so yeah.

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Where's Vajra? Maybe she could answer this.

posted January 05, 2015 11:29 PM            

Being taller and weighing more does not necessarily mean you are naturally going to be stronger than someone.