posted July 23, 2016 12:17 PM            

My thoughts are disturbed and my stomach upset. They appeared in my dream, and I can't get it out my head.
I asked them to stop trying to get close to me in the dream and hurt their feelings.

I don't know what to do. I want peace from this. So much of it is hidden b y a thin veil, but that veil is what is keeping me safe. Keeping us apart.

It's the intangible nature of it all that is disturbing me the most. I don't have any map for navigating the invisible.

posted July 23, 2016 12:52 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
I have been feeling the energy of another person so strongly since this full moon, and I am exhausted with it.

My thoughts are disturbed and my stomach upset. They appeared in my dream, and I can't get it out my head.
I asked them to stop trying to get close to me in the dream and hurt their feelings.

I don't know what to do. I want peace from this. So much of it is hidden b y a thin veil, but that veil is what is keeping me safe. Keeping us apart.

It's the intangible nature of it all that is disturbing me the most. I don't have any map for navigating the invisible.

I feel lost.

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That can be very gnawing. I hope things get clearer soon..

posted July 23, 2016 01:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Elysia:

That can be very gnawing. I hope things get clearer soon..

Do you want to talk to this person?

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Well we do talk quite regularly. It is everything that isn't said that I seem to be feeling as a heavy energy.

I don't know how to clear the air without entering into a conversation that could cause problems for both of us.

posted July 25, 2016 01:19 AM            

I can't believe it. She was fine, and then she was gone. I can't get my head around her being gone. I saw her, but this can't be happening.

I can't believe all of the ******* things I've worried about, and will worry about again if I live through this myself. **** everything - and anyone who revelled in making me miserable, because there were people who had to actually get me through **** . It isn't funny. None of it. I may be worthless, but not for the stupid crap that some imagined. I want my mother.

posted July 25, 2016 03:59 AM            

I hope you have supportive friends and family around you right now.

posted July 25, 2016 09:50 AM            

I have been through terrible deaths, too.

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posted July 25, 2016 03:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by venus2tinkerbell:
Teasel you are not alone. Reach out to anyone and you'll see. Even a stranger will be the sister you need.

I'd like to ask Randall to give you my email. We can talk on the phone if you want. I love you T. God bless you and ease your pain.

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posted July 26, 2016 08:12 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
Oh Teasel, I am so sorry to hear your mother has passed.
I saw your posts about her illness from time to time, I can tell you loved her very much.
This must be such a shock if she was stabilised and responding well. So unfair.

I hope you have supportive friends and family around you right now.

And no, you are not worthless. Please, with everything you have got, focus on your self-care right now. The only people who matter just now are those who care about you, they will get you through.

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posted July 29, 2016 07:37 AM              

I've noticed people don't so much listen of their own volition as have to be force-fed audio input. So, the 'loud' people get heard. The polite ones go unnoticed.

I've mercury-conjunct-mars too, but in the 8th. I'm kinda quiet. Don't like our generation's need to make a big announcement out of every unremarkable thing. But that's a different issue.

I guess, in your case - Dop & SV, it's sorta on similar lines as me.. In that, we expect people to 'get' communication etiquette of listening and being (at least somewhat) attentive when someone is speaking to you. That's become really rare these days. -- Partly why I get along with older people..they're more innately considerate. They grew up with those values.

Geez, I sound so nitpicky. Oh well. *shrug*

posted July 29, 2016 05:39 PM            

Well, I can give some run of the mill excuses, which are all true.
Such as not sleeping well, which is a normal thing but has been particularly bad recently. Today seems to be the day that it's really catching up to me. My arms and legs felt like they each weighed 100 lbs.
Work was stressful today. We lack resources but rather than giving us the amount of resources that we need, they insist on tweaking the system when it's really not even close. We need more people. My worst fears with this new work process has come true today. First day that it's actually happened. I knew that it was inevitable and it happened to be today. I signed up to work tomorrow also. WHY DID I DO THAT?! Ugh.
There's other things as well but I suppose some deeper explanation is needed.

Without going in details of my chart. You know, lots of Virgo, lots of 12th, lots of Jupiter and although Pullen doesn't exactly say, Uranus as well. I mean if you look at declinations and other things. Uranus also craps all over my chart. Well we'll just stick to Mercury/12th/Virgo/Jupiter.

So you having Virgo and Gemini may understand this.
Everyone seems to have a peeve that really gets under their skin. No one is perfect and we all have buttons, I think it's safe to say. I have two, really, really bad ones.

One is, I'm great at handling big problems. I'm good at multitasking and taking care of business. However, when I'm pelted all day long with little annoyances, the total effect is an explosion. When the same issues keep repeating themselves, which is what happens at my work. Man, I go off. I mean I seriously lose my mind.
My mind is already going crazy anyway. At least a big issue gives me something to focus that energy on. Little things are more distraction from putting that energy into productive use.

The second thing is, I hate being misunderstood. I sort of feel like this is some sort karmic lesson. Given my chart, my Mercury in 12th, and all those other things. Squares and other aspects. It just makes sense that one of my lessons in life is to handle misunderstandings. Depending on the misunderstanding, it can be handled well or it can be a disaster. Most often, if that misunderstanding involves emotion, it's hell. Total hell. Most often I view the world as "Nope. Not worth my effort." or "this can be fixed. I'll explain it." When there's some big emotional misunderstanding, I don't know what to do with that. It's like being thrown into the battlefield without having gone through training or anything. What would you do?
I'd be shooting anything that moved. It's a bit like that. Thrown into battle, in the dark. Handling webs of emotion that are all confusing and full of misunderstanding. I don't know what to do with that. I become frustrated. Particularly if I feel under attack.

I remember watching a television show where a woman was guiding an inexperienced man with her. They had a dog pack and were going to the north pole. The dogs, well, they are partly wild. Not totally domesticated. Yes and no. They have a job to do. So along the journey the dogs may become excited about various things. Polar bears being one, etc. Well, the pack which normally got along fine, didn't. All of the dogs lashed out at one dog due to having too much anxiety from a bear or whatever. That dog then defended itself. The whole thing settled down. The woman told the man, "Don't touch him. He's agitated. He'll bite anyone right now." (Top Gear - Polar Special)
You can think of this like that.

If you look at that situation. It had a combination of emotional and communication misunderstandings and they just kept coming. Over and over and over.
With Jupiter, trine Mars and Mercury, and Asc. Which are all under tension via other aspects. I go big. When that switch is flipped, the sky is the limit. I mean, I suppose not literally. I've not been in trouble with the law or anything. You know though.