posted November 05, 2016 08:59 AM            

New home, new car, my own health insurance, degree, new job. I knew I'd eventually get a chance to take a breather, and just chill and decompress.

BUT IT TOOK TOO LONG! My moods were horrible. I was not my self for a while. Or my burned out I've had enough self, but I'm an adult and have to keep going, cause the demands of life don't give a $hit. It's got to the point where I wished I would have a weekend with no plans. I can't just NOT go to a party. Though I was burned out I would go, and would be in a p1ssy mood until I had 3 drinks.

A fun weekend getaway to a wedding...made my have 43 mental breakdowns.

Since starting this new job, I can't keep up with cleaning like I use to.

My mental state has been better. I've been better at accepting that things are not going to be perfect or in my control.

posted November 05, 2016 09:22 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I just thought of those parents, teachers, and coaches who expect kids to magically know things. When a kid doesn't then the kid is called stupid, worthless, and a host of other names. Of course most kids subjected to this "teaching" method give up and after awhile don't even bother to try anymore. It's too bad more of them don't think to say, "Sorry, I have a bad teacher." OTOH, given how immaturely such adults are "teaching" then that would probably just lead to more abuse if they did. (Heh, I just recalled one who told me of an ineffective college instructor she used to have who berated his class--during the Cold War--that the Soviet students were doing better, and she barely repressed replying, "That's because they have better teachers." )

I've only known one person who was spurred to become better by verbal and physical abuse that replaced teaching by her family when she asked to learn something (and her family didn't want her to learn at all so intentionally tried to destroy her self-confidence and make her scared to try, as opposed to others who seem to think they can somehow shame kids into magically gaining full proficiency rather than learning it slowly, and gaining proficiency through practice). She was determined not to be spineless like her mother and looked to learn outside the home, and slowly did, and has exceeded her family in skill now, and she hates them now and they now fear her rather than her fearing them. I say good, they deserve it. Unfortunately, her achievement didn't liberate her from the problems they dumped on her and she became addicted to risk, adrenaline, and drama which has affected her life in terrible ways. Always expecting an attack, she attacks first over imagined slights, and sometimes just "does it first."

Though the worst IMO are those who "protect" their kids with ignorance, and then when their kid leaves home and becomes a victim within a year or two, blame the sheltered kid turned into unprepared adult. I suspect in those cases those parents do blame themselves deep down. How can they not? (I've seen some of the results of that kind of parenting in a PTSD support group who at their most vulnerable were pretty much destroyed by the parents for "being so stupid" when the reason for such stupidity is because the parents made damn sure they didn't know any better! And another was blamed by her priest when she got hurt doing what the priest said. It's heartwrenching to see the results of this damage.)

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This is why I want to be in preschool. There is so much pressure on kids today with the academic push. My cousins step son failed his first grade reading test. It really upsets me that first graders are already getting told they are failures. Self esteem is rooted to childhood.

I had a verbally abusive teacher in second grade.

My mom is kind of screwed up in the head too. My mom was afraid of my and my sister being too smart. Since she came from a screwed up, but educated family. Mom did not want us to "turn out weird" like them.
She would annoy my sister and tell her to become a hair dresser. My sister is now an accountant. And my mom enabled and helicoptered the $hit out of me.
Even as I was in college she would tell me to not take so many classes. And would have entry level career visions "from God" of what I should be doing.

My parents were not the strict type. I've seen what happens to some kids when they go to college. They did great in school cause their parent put the fear of God in them. Some kids also get told what they are going to college for. My two cousins bombed college cause their mom would only pay for college if it was for the medical field.

posted November 06, 2016 01:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
I was thinking about you, earlier on. It's nice to see you.

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posted November 20, 2016 12:39 PM            

I am working with a 60 something year old.

She takes the job very seriously...but she is one of those teachers who acts like it's her school. She sometimes over steps her role and starts taking on the principal/director role.

I like how the company respects seniority...BUT it's gotten real ugly with this person who has been there pretty much since the school opened.

Anyways I've just been putting up with her. Like "whatever it's her temperament. She's my coworker(who is filling in for lead teacher on leave), I have to work with her, doesn't have to be my friend."

But her behavior escalated on Friday. I've been having to come in at 7am temporarily. So temporarily I've been getting there earlier than her. So naturally I park where she usually does. The third time I did it she told me off!
And yes, there is NO assigned parking! Though people usually park in the same spots. Cause everyone gets there at their own certain time usually.
It went something like
"You can park where you want but, you know I usually park there, it's just courtesy for others, and I am one to take offense to that"
She also told me that I am "in someone else's spot" who is currently on maternity leave.
WHAT...THE ACTUAL ****!!
Was my reaction. And no I did not stick up for my self. We were alone in the room with a few kids. I was in shock. I basically told her I understand where she is coming from. (but really it's "I now understand that you are psychotic")

I thought it was common sense that if you get there first you have first dibs on a spot. And if someone is in your usually spot you park somewhere else.

She has a reputation for being territorial.

She had a super nasty tone talking to me the rest of the day.

She got crazier, she told not to do things that are suppose to be her job. I asked her for an example, and she didn't have one.

So I'm being very careful how I deal with this level of crazy.

posted November 25, 2016 06:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Stawr:
New job, new NUT JOB I have to work with!

I am working with a 60 something year old.

. . .

I like how the company respects seniority...BUT it's gotten real ugly with this person who has been there pretty much since the school opened.

Anyways I've just been putting up with her. Like "whatever it's her temperament. She's my coworker(who is filling in for lead teacher on leave), I have to work with her, doesn't have to be my friend."

But her behavior escalated on Friday. I've been having to come in at 7am temporarily. So temporarily I've been getting there earlier than her. So naturally I park where she usually does. The third time I did it she told me off!

And yes, there is NO assigned parking! Though people usually park in the same spots. Cause everyone gets there at their own certain time usually.

It went something like
"You can park where you want but, you know I usually park there, it's just courtesy for others, and I am one to take offense to that"

She also told me that I am "in someone else's spot" who is currently on maternity leave.
WHAT...THE ACTUAL ****!!

Was my reaction. And no I did not stick up for my self. We were alone in the room with a few kids. I was in shock.

I basically told her I understand where she is coming from.

((((but really it's "I now understand that you are psychotic")))

I thought it was common sense that if you get there first you have first dibs on a spot. And if someone is in your usually spot you park somewhere else.

She has a reputation for being territorial.

She had a super nasty tone talking to me the rest of the day.

She got crazier, she told not to do things that are suppose to be her job. I asked her for an example, and she didn't have one.

So I'm being very careful how I deal with this level of crazy. ...

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As you said, she's been there a long long long time.... She's OLDER. People have been there for a while. They have 'established' routines and rituals. This is very important to people, and wise when you are 'new' to a situation to observe this.

Yes, it might make "common" sense to park anywhere you wanted to.... But, that's not the way the real world works sometimes.

ADD -- Territorial boundaries are of critical importance in business, and, with neighbors. It's 'unspoken' yes, but, you can make some POWERFUL enemies and terrible angers if you break those. Like you were saying about the neuroticisms of that???-- yeppers, it IS important (sorry to say).

Seniority really really counts. Learn that. (Territorial boundaries are very important too.) It's a valuable lesson. Respect and observation of established longtime friendships in places, and cooperating WHILE gently establishing yourself as a non-threatening element, will get you much much much farther when you need a favor from them someday.

Like Dr Phil says... 'Do you want to be Right?' or have friendly relationships? .....

Learn to navigate and have favor with those who are members of the 'real' power grid and protocols that exists...? (That's a sign of real maturity... Wait, and see who 'those' are in any of the job settings you ever find yourself in. ... Even in schooling too.)

Stawr.... I don't mean to be hard on you, so please don't take all this the wrong way. (I know you've been having some rough transits... I remember some past posts.)

Tip, with her being 60s right now, her life is NO picnic... Many many elderly are VERY worried right now. They don't have youth, and some don't have technology background experience to compete in the world today, like people your age do. ... Many many elderly are very worried. (I know the young ones are too?, but, being older NOW, with mind-blowing surprise changes, is scary. It's a matter of resources and resilience... Favor is towards the youngers in the nearest future.)

I do understand your frustration, and, what you said makes sense. But to really get ahead, you might want to cultivate your friendships with some of the 'older' and more-established people within a team or group or company. .... You'll see. Gently, You'll wind up WAY far ahead. {{ }}

Walk a Mile in My Shoes....

See things from the 'other' person's perspective... They might be having a really bad day... or bad set of transits.

Kindness and Consideration goes far to establish a GOOD Reputation. It will serve you... if not now, then later.

I want to COMPLIMENT you on saying this to the older woman...
"I basically told her I understand where she is coming from."
That was VERY respectful.... *smile*

AND, gently, I know you are saying all this to process your frustrations... This IS a Venting Thread, afterall.. LOL! ....

The scene you described with your coworker reminded me of the movie, Fried Green Tomatoes.

hahahah... Sometimes, it doesn't matter HOW old you are--- After circling the parking lot, patiently, young or old can feel flipped out at 'unfairness' ....

Be Blessed! ... Wishing you the VERY Best in the Future between you two.

(topic) Towanda (scene from movie Fried Green Tomatoes) [1:57] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXZs3mjGlQU

Funny.... !!

posted November 25, 2016 06:45 PM            

I just read your post top of page. I'm so sorry you're having a bad time right now...

{{{{hug}}}}

posted November 26, 2016 09:45 PM            

It's not getting better working with her. I can't wait for the other teacher to come back from maternity leave in a few weeks. I'm starting to get really edgy by her pettiness, and dread coming into work now.

posted November 26, 2016 11:20 PM            

I'm so sorry. Maybe when the head teacher comes back from maternity leave, things with your coworker will smooth over. Let's hope so!

What is it that you "dread"? Maybe you could journal about it, get to the bottom of the feelings. It's "information" for you. Write it out like a script-- or line up some pillows and stuffies (or trusted family/friends) and explore it.

posted November 28, 2016 12:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:

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posted December 10, 2016 03:24 AM            

My mother is sick. Much sicker than I thought. If her condition doesn't improve in the next few days, I expect I'll be sitting in the ER soon.

I'm fighting a nasty bug. Ribs have been hurting for the past couple of days. Now my throat hurts & my voice is all wonky because of it. I'm having problems falling asleep tonight when I really need to...I may have to take the kitty to the vet in the morning if she doesn't improve.

Did I mention that I have to work tomorrow, on very little sleep? I'm already dreading it.

posted December 10, 2016 06:42 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
Where's Elysia?

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I don't know. I've wondered the same thing, just last night, and over the past month or so. I hope she's okay.

posted December 12, 2016 07:46 AM            

My cat is up walking around & twirling her tail again. She just stalked me into my bathroom. I think she's okay but I'm keeping an eye on her. She's deaf & young.

I somehow made it through the last 2 days of work. My coworkers carried me through it tbh. I still feel like the living dead. Going to curl up with Netflix and some spicy Chinese food in preparation for the next week of work.

Mom is still sick though. She is listening to doctors orders though.

posted December 12, 2016 03:19 PM            

People are a getaway from the intense world I am stuck in. Why do I crave to make it a reality?

posted December 13, 2016 06:55 AM            

The gum around the one on the right lower jaw was infected and antibiotics didn't work until I was prescribed a much stronger dose. Such excruciating pain. Couldn't sleep couldn't eat. 1 week of dealing with infection and using pain killers, another week after surgery dealing with a badly swollen face, 1 more week of lingering ache and very limited jaw opening. Lived on soup and purée for 3 weeks. At least the surgery was painless, I slept through the whole thing. The oral surgeon did a fine job I think - I can open my mouth enough to look inside n I see neat stitches and all. I got very strong pain killers, coz I thought if the pain of the infection was bad, the pain after the surgery would be off the chart. But no, swelling and dull ache, but nothing bad enough to require such strong pain killer. Only needed to take two pills the first night.